I think the challenges change daily....sometimes hourly. Keeping up with it all is a huge challenge, don't you think?

I have been thinking lately about the issue of "Mom snobbery" meaning how some moms (and we all know at least one) seem to have to out do other moms for whatever reason. They always have the latest "mommy gadgets", stay up to date on every "mom related" trend, do everything by the book, etc, all in an attempt to prove their status as "queen mommy bee of the playground." My first encounter of "Mom snobbery" happened when my son was just a baby. I was shopping at a local mall with a "friend" of mine. We both had 3 month old infants at the time. My son was crying and was hungry, and so was her daughter. We found a bench to feed our babies. I put on my nursing sling and began breast-feeding my baby, she just let it all hang out and fed hers. She proceeded to lecture me on how I was "ashamed of feeding my baby" because I covered myself. She went into a tirade about it being the most natural thing in the world, and I shouldn't have to hide it for other people's comfort. I asked her "What about for my comfort? Natural or not, I am not comfortable with complete strangers seeing my breasts!" We continued on shopping, I was cruising the sales racks, and she was buying baby clothes like a mad woman! All the while rubbing it in that she was so happy her husband had a good job so her daughter would never have to wear hand me downs or clearance rack clothing! What a cow! I later shared my frustration with a mutual friend (who didn't have children yet) about what happened. She told me "I know, ever since she had that baby she has become a total Mommy snob!" I started noticing a trend in moms after that. I would be out somewhere, like a park or community event, and I would witness other moms treating each other in a similar fashion. There seemed to be mommy snobs everywhere I turned! Then when my son was older, and I had my daughter by this time, I had him in a play group. I rolled up with my second hand (but awesome) stroller with my girl sound asleep in it, my son running ahead of me excitedly. I am not shy whatsoever, so I walked right up to another mom and introduced myself. SHe smiled and greeted me politely. After a few minutes of small talk, she gained all the facts about me she needed for her and her mommy snob friends to try and ambush me! One of them bragging about her new stroller "I know we didn't need a new one, but we donated the old one and I feel so good that some underprivileged child can use it now. I personally would never use second hand anything for my child, but I guess for those who can't afford the top of the line, second hand will do." then she shot me a smirk and asked "So, what thrift store did you buy yours from?" I just rolled my eyes and went to join a woman sitting alone at the picnic table (also a mom from the play group) I could hear the group muttering about me as I walked away, but didn't really care. The woman I sat with told me that they do the same thing to her, so I shouldn't worry about it. We have remained good friends ever since. I seem to encounter a lot of this! The mom snob is everywhere, she's the mom at play-school who volunteers for everything, heads every committee, has her child give the other children the most expensive gifts and goodies for special occasions, then seems ti think her opinion should count for more than yours because she gives so much to the school. She's the friend who has to out do the birthday party you put on for your own child (I.E I hired a clown for my son, and we had cake and ice cream in the back yard, my friend rented a banquet hall, hired two clowns, a magician, and gave out expensive party favors! Then she said to my friend after that she thinks her son's party was a bigger hit than my son's! So petty!) Now there is even a mommy snob in my family! She criticizes what i feed my children, and compares the snacks she feeds hers to mine. She rubs it in my face when she gets new things for her children, and she tries to tell me what to do about discipline issues too! Last time i saw her i mentioned that I was going to go shopping for some new clothes. She asked "Oh, for the kids, because there is a really great children's boutique, oh wait, it's VERY expensive." When I told her that no, it was for clothes for me because the kids have lots, she proceeded to try to make me feel guilty for wanting something for myself! She kept going on about how she was so devoted to her own children that she doesn't even think about purchasing things for herself, and implied that I was being selfish! She also really loves to spout off about being a stay at home mom, when I, the single mom has no choice but to work! Despite the fact that I love my career, and work in a child care facility that i can bring my kids to and still see them all day! No, she never seems to take those facts into consideration! (Please don't get me wrong, I'm all for staying at home with your kids if you can, as well as for working when you have small kids, you have to do what works for you and your family.) I finally stopped caring, because I know I am a good mom, and I don't need to flaunt anything in another mom's face. I think that there mommy snobs are desperately trying to mask their own fears and insecurities by picking someone else apart. I wish that they, and all other moms could just see that we are all doing the best we can, and instead of picking each other apart and criticizing, what we need from each other is support and friendship. Being a mom is hard, and perhaps if someone reached out to one of these Mommy snobs, they would find what they are so desperately seeking, validation. They are not going to get it from bullying other moms. Just something I have been pondering for a few years. What are your thoughts? Have you experienced this, or are you guilty of it? I promise, I won't judge! LOL

Breastfeeding Sucks I was reading the fabulous Jennifer Brandt's blog Perfectly Disheveled tonight and was reminded of something that I had buried deep within the recesses of my mind...BREAST FEEDING! Oh how it sucked! No pun intended. It was one of the most awful things I have experienced thus far in motherhood. I know its not PC to admit this but hey, that's how I roll. I am honest to a fault. I always thought that breastfeeding would be something beautiful and magical; a sacred bond between mother and baby. And it was...but it was also something else. It was what most Hollywood actresses look like without their hair and makeup done, no stylist standing by, no PR person to spin their words into weaved gold. It was raw, it was painful , it was ugly and , on most days, it hurt me..deeply. Worse than that, it was humbling and , at the get, made me feel like the world's biggest freaking loser Mommy! Amen. I'm divulging the truth that it was for me. I remember coming home on that first day, driving 15 miles an hour with our blinkers on trying our best not to damage or mess up this most perfect being that we had just been given. We cooked this baby good and read all the books but when it came down to it, we couldn't believe these people were going to let us take the baby out of the hospital. After all, what the hell were they thinking? We didn't know what to do. We could barely keep one another alive,plants were dying all over the house, I'd lost a dog but these assholes wanted me to keep an entire human being alive! WHAT?? Panic set in. But there was no turning back. We were going to hold onto this halo/fog of new baby splendor as long as we possibly could. The key was to keep the baby in tact. We get home.Hello baby! This is your new house. The whole world, in its entirety, will be forever changed. You will be the sun and we will rotate around you forevermore. Time for a nap. Gently we place the baby into the bassinet and then its time to turn off the lights, pull the room darkening shades and SLEEP. But wait. That won't work. If the lights are off we can't see if she's breathing. If we can't see that she's breathing..maybe she's not. No! Sorry this plan will not work. Abort mission. Abort mission! Turning off the lights won't do. Instead, we collapsed in exhaustion laying across the bed, with our heads half in the bassinet, with the ceiling fan light turned all the way on! Just about the time my brain and heart gave way and allowed my eyes to close,the baby woke up..starving. To my teet I drew my baby.She suckled. She didn't latch very well. I knew that my milk hadn't come in yet, as the lactation nurse had already informed me of my ineptitude before I had even left the hospital. She, also, had set me up with a medieval contraption known as an SNS . Not familiar with this?Oh, aren't you the lucky girl? SNS stands for Supplemental Nursing System which is basically today's scarlet letter for you are a fucking loser who doesn't have the capability of feeding your own offspring. That's right, there are broads in the world feeding their boobie nectar to chihuahuas and I can't keep my own human alive. Fuck. It was the Chia pet all over again. I was panicked. I was popping Fenugreek like they were the last tic tacs in the world. Anyways, those were my choices...Fenugreek and SNS...until my milk dropped. What does that even mean?It's not like a gallon of formula is going to come spilling out of me. I pumped..barely a taste for my infant.So, I grudgingly hook myself up to the SNS. Picture, if you will, some sort of human type version of what is used on cows. Basically, it was a small container that you filled with formula, that hung around your neck. There was a very small tube attached to that which was then taped to the top of your breast and down at the nipple.For me, that meant atop the nipple shield.It was a pretty hostile site. Poor baby Bella. Why couldn't her Mommy just produce like all the other Mommies? I don't know baby. These fucking D boobs apparently are for fun and not function.ARGH! The humiliation. As I sat there, her looking up at me, questioning what wrong she had done in a previous life to be saddled with such a worthless mom, was enough to break my heart. But I soldiered on because I wasn't stopping until that milk gave in and came in. I was going to feed this baby if it killed me or broke me. Oh, don't you worry...it almost did. I called the nurse and she barked at me to only do the SNS every other feeding and only an ounce so that it forced the baby to suckle harder and force my milk to drop. I listened because, quite frankly,this is her job and I didn't know what the hell I was doing. Then in that first 24 hour period, Bella fed avery 1/2 hour. Do you know what that means? She was literally off my tit for about 5 minutes every hour for 24 hours. She was crying, out of starvation. I was crying out of frustration, humiliation and guilt. I felt like the biggest piece of shit Mother to EVER walk the earth..even lower than those broads who drove their kids off a bridge. By the next morning, constant crying ( on both our parts) and no sleep, I was at my most vulnerable. And the baby was looking pretty much like an Oompa Loompa. I'm not going to lie to you, I lost my ever loving mind when I realized I had broken the baby. The perfect little baby. I called the doctor and he said to bring her to the hospital. I was raw. OMG. I was the most exhausted, vulnerable, crazed lunatic on the maternity ward. Oh yes, they made me return to the scene of the crime.The nursery. Immediately, they took one look at our Willie Wonka cast member and told us that our baby had jaundice...caused by my malfunctioning bossoms! It was if someone kicked me in my hemorrhaging crotch, smacked me in my sore raw nipples, and yanked my heart out through my chest all while laughing at me. I left the room and ugly cried hysterically...uncontrollably. The Big Guy was freaked out, his baby was orange and his wife was out of her mind. The nurses knew it was hormones. They tried to soothe my fears but it was impossible. The moral of the story is even after all this, I continued to nurse for 3 months...with the SNS system because I NEVER produced enough milk to sustain my child.NEVER! But that damn lactation nurse kept telling me to keep taking the Fenugreek, it will come in. Then she told me to withhold formula, then I lost her number. I have never felt like such a failure. To this day, it still makes me hang my head to know that I couldn't just breastfeed. It's like being 30 and still riding a bike with training wheels. But because I would have been ridiculed by everyone I knew and scowled at for not trying my damnest, I did it again with my second child and again we ended up in the hospital with jaundice. Breastfeeding isn't for everybody...no matter what people say. If I could have, I would have done it for longer. I did love the bond we formed during that breastfeeding time but if you pan out in the pictures, you can clearly see that I was strapped to that SNS contraption which was neither sweet or bond conducive. So, I say to you...for me...BREAST FEEDING SUCKED! Did you breastfeed? For how long? Was it easy? Was it hard? Did you use an SNS? Would you? I'd love to hear your thoughts.