After I posted, I had a heart to heart with my son. Really he is not as immature as I painted (running away etc) but he is not one that takes constructive criticism or the voice of authority, very well. Thankfully he does listen. Recently he began dating a gal that is a few years older than he and has a good job. I've always thought that once he meets a girl things would change. Most woman today will not put up with slackers for a partner. Hopefully, she can straighten him out. He seems to like her very much. I should also say that my son moved with us 6 months ago from a major city. A city that he was raised in. This in itself was a difficult move for him. He went from a big city to a small "cow" town with no friends and no transportation. Not only does he not have a car but he does not have a drivers license. He never needed one. This he must fix. So for the good news. Since my last post and after a couple of conversations and a weekend away with his girlfriend, my son has enrolled in the community college to start working on his general ed requirements to obtain his BA - Yea son. No celebrating yet - he still must complete a semester. Did anyone read the article in Newsweek about kids in the work force and how they are not productive unless they receive perks. The article went on to say that is due to the fact that we as parent always rewarded our children for every little thing. It was an interesting article. I must say that even though no one seems to be reading this post (besides mine - the last post was a year ago) it feels great just to write, to put in print my feeling, worries, questions. Often I find the answer within just by writing it out.

When Cooper and I started blogging in 2004, we had no idea what was coming.
Seriously, who could have imagined the mind-blowingly creative ways that we would all would use the web to make our lives better?!
Down the road, I have no doubt we’ll look back on these days and say, “That’s when it all changed.”
I was thinking about that idea – that we’re living in this incredible time in history when our lives are changing in so many ways for the good - when ONE asked me to blog about their 12 Days of Change Campaign and to focus in particular on Living Proof.
Here’s the connection. We never imagined our lives could change so much so quickly, and across the ocean, vast improvements are happening in Africa that would have been inconceivable a decade ago.
Just this week, the cover story in the Economist is “Africa Rising: The Hopeful Continent.”
Africa … The Hopeful Continent.
Not many people (aside from the ONE Campaign) would have said that about Africa ten years ago.
Yet, “in eight of the past ten years, Africa has grown faster than East Asia, including Japan,” according to the Economist. “Africa now has the fastest growing middle class in the world.”
The health of millions has improved.
In a Living Proof video, Melinda Gates says that 3 million people are now receiving antiretroviral drugs to control HIV/AIDS. That includes a lot of moms who are staying alive and can now raise their children and do all the things that moms do to make things better for their families and neighbors.
We really might see a healthy, prosperous Africa in our lifetimes.
And that’s what the Living Proof Project is showing us - the stories of the incredible progress being made by some of the world’s poorest people.
In the spirit of the holidays, join us today to share and marvel at what’s been made possible in our lives and in the lives of Africans.
Today’s 12 Days of Change action is super easy: Share Living Proof with your friends!!!
Use Facebook, Twitter and the blogs to talk about Living Proof and share a video, a ONE PSA, a story or fact about smart and effective aid that is working in Africa.
Here’s a tweet if you’d like:
It's 12 Days of Change & @EmilyMcKhann says to spread the word on the @OneCampaign’s great Living Proof project: http://bit.ly/e4L2hW
Thank you and happy holidays!!
The ONE 12 Days of Change Project: http://bit.ly/vgpia6
Living Proof: http://bit.ly/e4L2hW
Amy Oztan's post on the 12 Days of Change: http://bit.ly/uutUI8

Please read. We need to start being honest in our portrayal of breast cancer. It's so important. Also? Stop the victim blaming. It's not helping a single person. http://www.lastwordonnothing.com/2012/02/08/komen/ The real scandal: science denialism at Susan G. Komen for the Cure® By Christie Aschwanden

What's surprised you most about your co-parenting or stepmothering journey? For me, as a stepmom, I learned that I had a greater capacity for surrendering and letting go than I ever realized. It's constantly tested, but I surprise myself. :-)

I love looking at these photos...and this day was surely amazing. So many cool things happened, including the winner of the New York Marathon finishing in 2 hours and 5 minutes! That's faster than I ran a half marathon! Check it out...you won't be disappointed! http://mediagallery.usatoday.com/The-Day-in-Sports-/November-6,-2011/G164,A10619?loc=interstitialskip

More information: the Dept of Treasury Accounting and Budgeting FAQ (very good to know stuff): http://www.treasury.gov/resource-center/faqs/Budget/Pages/us-budget.aspx

Being a mom means dying your hair funky colors because your kid thinks it would be fun.

When he's not busy governing the country, the President likes to relax by making music videos...

Ack! I just realized I forgot to come share my post! Sorry Emily! http://www.tobethode.com/2010/12/hunts-tomatoes-heart-healthy.html

Many Americans already finished holiday shopping Retailers need to offer bigger incentives to win sales in weeks before Christmas More than a third of U.S. shoppers are already done with most of their holiday shopping, a survey showed on Monday, signaling that retailers need to offer bigger incentives to win sales in the few weeks before Christmas. The findings underscore the fragility of the U.S. recovery, since consumer spending accounts for about 70 percent of the nation's economy. About 32 percent of people surveyed by America's Research Group said they finished a majority of their Christmas shopping in November. Last month included Black Friday, the day after Thanksgiving when stores pulled out all the stops on discounts to woo shoppers during their biggest season of the year. More than 6 percent completed most of their holiday shopping in the first weekend of December. The questions were asked exclusively for Reuters as part of a larger America's Research Group survey. "There is very little retailers can do unless they really have some incredible sales that force that consumer to reconsider if they want ... to make an extra purchase now," said America's Research Group President Britt Beemer. About 28 percent of people surveyed said they plan to take a break from shopping, now that the Black Friday weekend is behind them. "Many, many consumers, when they got those early bird specials on Black Friday, decided that that was going to be the big purchase for their family," Beemer said, adding that many shoppers spent more than they planned on Black Friday. Sales during the Black Friday weekend soared to $52.4 billion, according to the National Retail Federation, which sees sales for the full season up 2.8 percent. What shoplifters are taking these holidays The survey also highlighted other grievances of the post-recession U.S. consumer. More than 43 percent of those surveyed said they expect the debt crisis in Europe to hurt the United States, while about 36 percent of Americans said political gridlock in Washington as the biggest problem facing the U.S. economy right now. About 27 percent worry about the rising cost of living, while about a quarter of those surveyed see unemployment as the key issue faced by the U.S. economy. Many shoppers said that discount chains would be their destination of choice to do the rest of the holiday shopping, with nearly 38 percent of holiday shoppers planning to visit one, highlighting that shoppers remain highly price-sensitive. "You have got to give them a deal that is incredible," Beemer said, suggesting retailers slash prices and offer deep discounts of 50 percent and 60 percent to lure shoppers this month. Department stores offering unique merchandise also found many fans, with about 30 percent of shoppers planning to visit one during the rest of the season. The telephone survey of 1,000 people was conducted from December 3-4, and has an error factor of plus or minus 3.8 percentage points. See the article: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/45556806/ns/business-holiday_retail/

I am hoping to do Thing 1 and Thing 2 for my two non-twin girls! My husband and I have been smiling about it since we decided.

I too suffered from Post Natal Depression/Psychosis but back then in the 70's we called it the Baby Blues. I was told it would pass and to be happy I had a healthy baby boy. I did not have trouble bonding but was terrified something bad would happen to him with all the sids reports I would hear about on the news. My "Baby Blues" lasted about a year and then I was good to go again but the second time around I was more prepared to face the blue days and I did much better. Wonder how many other women have the same type of experiences?

Do you get flu shots every year? __ Time for flu shots, and some may get a tiny needle WASHINGTON – It's flu vaccine time again — and some lucky shot-seekers will find that the needle has shrunk. The first flu shot that works with a less-scary skin prick instead of an inch-long needle is hitting the market this fall. Sorry kids, this option so far is just for adults, and it's so brand-new that it will take some searching to find a dose. But there are plenty of the other varieties — standard shots, a special high-dose shot for seniors and the needle-free squirt-in-the-nose option — to go around. At least 166 million doses of flu vaccine are expected to be produced this year. The big question is whether people will get it. Usually each year's flu vaccine varies from the previous versions as different influenza strains emerge. This year, the vaccine's a duplicate because the three flu strains that sickened people last winter still are circulating. Scientific studies aren't clear about how much a person's immunity wanes over a year, although it varies by age and overall health. But federal health officials and the American Academy of Pediatrics weighed the evidence and say don't skip this year's vaccination — it's the only way to be sure your immune system remains revved enough for the best protection. "You're not going to be able to count on that vaccine protecting you throughout a second season," says Dr. Lisa Grohskopf of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. A yearly vaccination now is recommended for virtually everyone, except babies younger than 6 months and people with severe allergies to the eggs used to make it. Last year, 49 percent of children and 41 percent of adults were vaccinated. Read more: http://yourlife.usatoday.com/health/story/2011-09-06/Time-for-flu-shots-and-some-may-get-a-tiny-needle/50276472/1?loc=interstitialskip

One more, for the moms in the back: http://www.thisfullhouse.com/reviews/2010/10/foodie-tuesday-kelloggs-moms-breakfast-club-recipes.html

I should post this over in OceanPrayer, too!

The Politics of...Underwear? Yes! Of underwear and how it shaped women, historically. So to speak. really interesting! http://www.columbian.com/news/2010/aug/29/womens-rights-talk-undresses-issues-historical-mus/ "aturday, historian Rebecca Morrison-Peck gave a nearly two-hour talk at the Clark County Historical Museum on the “Politics of Underwear” and how undergarments have evolved and were influenced by American culture between 1750 and 1950. The Yacolt costume designer told the packed crowd of mostly women, young and old, that she’s talked before about woman’s underwear, but never delved into the politics. As she explained, however, underwear is a good insight into how women were viewed during a certain time period and what was expected of them. “Women dressed to suit what men were interested in at the time,” Morrison-Peck said. “They relied on men to support them and take care of them,” so it would follow that they would wear undergarments that reflect men’s view of beauty. Her appearance was the first public event in conjunction with the museum’s new exhibit, “Road to Equality: The Struggle for Women’s Rights in the Northwest.” The exhibit runs through December 2011. There was a lot to talk about over 200 years, but the historian covered a lot of ground and showed off a lot of props on her mannequin, “Victoria.” Beginning in the late 1700s and into the 1800s, underwear was a “torture device,” Morrison-Peck said, with lots of layers and constricting pieces. First, there was the corset, which had steel plates sewn into the bodice to keep women’s posture straight."

As a former teacher who had to buy many of my own classroom supplies and saw the effects that a small school budget could have- I'm really excited about the Clorox grants and hope that people really take the time to enter and try to help their schools! http://thingsicantsay-shell.blogspot.com/2010/08/back-to-school-power-bright-future-and.html

http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/parenting/25-manners-every-kid-should-know-by-age-9-2480238 25 Manners Every Kid Should Know By Age 9 Your child's rude 'tude isn't always intentional. Sometimes kids just don't realize it's impolite to interrupt, pick their nose, or loudly observe that the lady walking in front of them has a large behind. And in the hustle and bustle of daily life, busy moms and dads don't always have the time to focus on etiquette. But if you reinforce these 25 must-do manners, you'll raise a polite, kind, well-liked child.- Manner #1 When asking for something, say "Please." Manner #2 When receiving something, say "Thank you." Manner #3 Do not interrupt grown-ups who are speaking with each other unless there is an emergency. They will notice you and respond when they are finished talking. Manner #4 If you do need to get somebody's attention right away, the phrase "excuse me" is the most polite way for you to enter the conversation. Manner #5 When you have any doubt about doing something, ask permission first. It can save you from many hours of grief later. Manner #6 The world is not interested in what you dislike. Keep negative opinions to yourself, or between you and your friends, and out of earshot of adults. Manner #7 Do not comment on other people's physical characteristics unless, of course, it's to compliment them, which is always welcome. Manner #8 When people ask you how you are, tell them and then ask them how they are. Read the list in its entirety at the link above.

Each year approximately 87 million Americans -- 5 million in New York alone -- are made ill by contaminated food. Of those, 371,000 are hospitalized with foodborne illness, and 5,700 die. In 2010 America, this is simply unacceptable. The fact is, our food safety laws have not truly been overhauled in more than a century. Back in December, in my post here at The Motherhood "post.php?sid=453576 ," I wrote about the importance of developing a new comprehensive food safety agenda that brings these laws up to date and focuses on prevention and notification. As I wrote then:...we must improve public education and ensure that information about food-borne illnesses and recalls are distributed accurately and efficiently. I am authoring the Consumer Recall Notification Act – legislation that would improve communication among states, state and local health departments, food distributors and vendors to provide consumers with faster and more complete information. For example, we must post all recall notices on the very grocery store shelves and freezers where a recalled product would have been bought. This will help consumers receive vital information in a timely manner.I am now proud to report that this week, I've introduced The Consumer Recall Notification Act and we're hoping to include it as a part of Senator Durbin's comprehensive Food Safety Modernization Act, which the Senate will take up next month. This bill would accomplish several important goals:Notify ConsumersStores that track purchases through customer loyalty cards or membership programs would be required to notify consumers when they have purchased a recalled product;Distribute Information to Restaurants and Food RetailersFacilities that have distributed foods subject to a Class I recall would be required to notify stores and restaurants within 24 hours of the public announcement of the recall.  The FDA would also be required publish a list online of all stores and restaurants that received contaminated products, which in turn must then post notices where the contaminated product was sold so that consumers can be alerted that they may have purchased a recalled product.Distribute Information to Health WorkersWhen there is a Class I recall, the FDA would be required to distribute advisories to States, local health departments and frontline health professionals, which include a list of symptoms to look out for and test for in order to diagnose food-borne illness.  We still have a lot more work to do to reform America's century-old food safety laws. Currently these laws do not go far enough to protect our families from foodborne illnesses. As the mother of two young boys, protecting children and all Americans from such preventable tragedies is one of the reasons I went into public service. The government must do all it can to protect its citizens and I'm proud to play a part in pushing this important piece of legislation forward.While it's still an uphill climb to get included in the larger bill -- more likely, the bill will call for a study of the value of such notification procedures -- I'm proud that this bill has injected the importance of consumer notification into the conversation. I'm hopeful that -- whether through my bill or another -- similar consumer protections will be included in the final legislation that the Senate will take up next month.As http://www.goodhousekeeping.com/product-testing/ghri-test-kitchen/new-food-safety-legislation-an wrote last week, you can help by letting your Senator know that you support the Food Safety Modernization Act.You can find out more about Senator Gillibrand at http://kirstengillibrand.com . You can also follow her on http://www.facebook.com/KirstenGillibrand and on http://twitter.com/sengillibrand .

Breastfeeding Sucks I was reading the fabulous Jennifer Brandt's blog Perfectly Disheveled tonight and was reminded of something that I had buried deep within the recesses of my mind...BREAST FEEDING! Oh how it sucked! No pun intended. It was one of the most awful things I have experienced thus far in motherhood. I know its not PC to admit this but hey, that's how I roll. I am honest to a fault. I always thought that breastfeeding would be something beautiful and magical; a sacred bond between mother and baby. And it was...but it was also something else. It was what most Hollywood actresses look like without their hair and makeup done, no stylist standing by, no PR person to spin their words into weaved gold. It was raw, it was painful , it was ugly and , on most days, it hurt me..deeply. Worse than that, it was humbling and , at the get, made me feel like the world's biggest freaking loser Mommy! Amen. I'm divulging the truth that it was for me. I remember coming home on that first day, driving 15 miles an hour with our blinkers on trying our best not to damage or mess up this most perfect being that we had just been given. We cooked this baby good and read all the books but when it came down to it, we couldn't believe these people were going to let us take the baby out of the hospital. After all, what the hell were they thinking? We didn't know what to do. We could barely keep one another alive,plants were dying all over the house, I'd lost a dog but these assholes wanted me to keep an entire human being alive! WHAT?? Panic set in. But there was no turning back. We were going to hold onto this halo/fog of new baby splendor as long as we possibly could. The key was to keep the baby in tact. We get home.Hello baby! This is your new house. The whole world, in its entirety, will be forever changed. You will be the sun and we will rotate around you forevermore. Time for a nap. Gently we place the baby into the bassinet and then its time to turn off the lights, pull the room darkening shades and SLEEP. But wait. That won't work. If the lights are off we can't see if she's breathing. If we can't see that she's breathing..maybe she's not. No! Sorry this plan will not work. Abort mission. Abort mission! Turning off the lights won't do. Instead, we collapsed in exhaustion laying across the bed, with our heads half in the bassinet, with the ceiling fan light turned all the way on! Just about the time my brain and heart gave way and allowed my eyes to close,the baby woke up..starving. To my teet I drew my baby.She suckled. She didn't latch very well. I knew that my milk hadn't come in yet, as the lactation nurse had already informed me of my ineptitude before I had even left the hospital. She, also, had set me up with a medieval contraption known as an SNS . Not familiar with this?Oh, aren't you the lucky girl? SNS stands for Supplemental Nursing System which is basically today's scarlet letter for you are a fucking loser who doesn't have the capability of feeding your own offspring. That's right, there are broads in the world feeding their boobie nectar to chihuahuas and I can't keep my own human alive. Fuck. It was the Chia pet all over again. I was panicked. I was popping Fenugreek like they were the last tic tacs in the world. Anyways, those were my choices...Fenugreek and SNS...until my milk dropped. What does that even mean?It's not like a gallon of formula is going to come spilling out of me. I pumped..barely a taste for my infant.So, I grudgingly hook myself up to the SNS. Picture, if you will, some sort of human type version of what is used on cows. Basically, it was a small container that you filled with formula, that hung around your neck. There was a very small tube attached to that which was then taped to the top of your breast and down at the nipple.For me, that meant atop the nipple shield.It was a pretty hostile site. Poor baby Bella. Why couldn't her Mommy just produce like all the other Mommies? I don't know baby. These fucking D boobs apparently are for fun and not function.ARGH! The humiliation. As I sat there, her looking up at me, questioning what wrong she had done in a previous life to be saddled with such a worthless mom, was enough to break my heart. But I soldiered on because I wasn't stopping until that milk gave in and came in. I was going to feed this baby if it killed me or broke me. Oh, don't you worry...it almost did. I called the nurse and she barked at me to only do the SNS every other feeding and only an ounce so that it forced the baby to suckle harder and force my milk to drop. I listened because, quite frankly,this is her job and I didn't know what the hell I was doing. Then in that first 24 hour period, Bella fed avery 1/2 hour. Do you know what that means? She was literally off my tit for about 5 minutes every hour for 24 hours. She was crying, out of starvation. I was crying out of frustration, humiliation and guilt. I felt like the biggest piece of shit Mother to EVER walk the earth..even lower than those broads who drove their kids off a bridge. By the next morning, constant crying ( on both our parts) and no sleep, I was at my most vulnerable. And the baby was looking pretty much like an Oompa Loompa. I'm not going to lie to you, I lost my ever loving mind when I realized I had broken the baby. The perfect little baby. I called the doctor and he said to bring her to the hospital. I was raw. OMG. I was the most exhausted, vulnerable, crazed lunatic on the maternity ward. Oh yes, they made me return to the scene of the crime.The nursery. Immediately, they took one look at our Willie Wonka cast member and told us that our baby had jaundice...caused by my malfunctioning bossoms! It was if someone kicked me in my hemorrhaging crotch, smacked me in my sore raw nipples, and yanked my heart out through my chest all while laughing at me. I left the room and ugly cried hysterically...uncontrollably. The Big Guy was freaked out, his baby was orange and his wife was out of her mind. The nurses knew it was hormones. They tried to soothe my fears but it was impossible. The moral of the story is even after all this, I continued to nurse for 3 months...with the SNS system because I NEVER produced enough milk to sustain my child.NEVER! But that damn lactation nurse kept telling me to keep taking the Fenugreek, it will come in. Then she told me to withhold formula, then I lost her number. I have never felt like such a failure. To this day, it still makes me hang my head to know that I couldn't just breastfeed. It's like being 30 and still riding a bike with training wheels. But because I would have been ridiculed by everyone I knew and scowled at for not trying my damnest, I did it again with my second child and again we ended up in the hospital with jaundice. Breastfeeding isn't for everybody...no matter what people say. If I could have, I would have done it for longer. I did love the bond we formed during that breastfeeding time but if you pan out in the pictures, you can clearly see that I was strapped to that SNS contraption which was neither sweet or bond conducive. So, I say to you...for me...BREAST FEEDING SUCKED! Did you breastfeed? For how long? Was it easy? Was it hard? Did you use an SNS? Would you? I'd love to hear your thoughts.