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Past Talks
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Jan.23.2012 1:00pm ESTThe Best Ideas For Getting Organized With Asha Dornfest Of Parent Hacks
Join Asha Dornfest of Parent Hacks to swap tips and tricks for organizing your home with a minimum of fuss, time and stress. We'll all learn from Asha, but, even better, we'll share our own best ideas. Come be inspired and learn new ways to get rid of the clutter and tidy up your home life!
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Feb.03.2011 1:00pm ESTCinderella Ate My Daughter
Join author Peggy Orenstein to talk about "new girlie girl culture." Peggy's new book, Cinderella Ate My Daughter, based on her enormously popular article in the New York Times on raising her own daughter, was just published and is getting tons of attention. We'll talk with Peggy about her book and share our own stories, experiences and talk about the challenges of raising daughters!!
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The Forum
Mindful Moms
Hi, CityMom and BurbMom here. We are writers juggling family life, work and friendships. With similar philosophies but divergent lifestyles (one of us lives in the burbs, the other in the city), being mindful is sometimes a challenge. But we try. Jump in and join us!
LATEST POSTED BY: DeborahDr. Gary Neuman's 4 types of toxic people to avoid..... Dr. Gary Neuman, a family counselor and mediator, helped Jennifer and her daughter Alyssa understand the toxic functions of their relationship, and offered advice for how the two can mediate their differences. Not all toxic relationships are repairable, however, and Dr. Neuman believes there are some people who can be cut out of your life completely. "You either have to avoid them, confront them, or get help in changing the relationship," Dr. Neuman says on the show about the toxic people in your life. "You cannot continue to allow it to happen to you." Read more: http://www.andersoncooper.com/2012/02/13/dr-gary-neuman-4-types-of-toxic-people-to-avoid/#ixzz1mUF9ryhLViewFebruary.15th.2012
Love to Bake
Share photographs and tips on baking your favorite recipe!
LATEST POSTED BY: Kayla SGingerbread in a snap CNN.com - Oh come all ye Christmas carol literalists: PNC Wealth Management recently released its annual "Twelve Days of Christmas" calculation for holiday shoppers in the market for milk maids and French hens. This year, springing for the whole menagerie, from twelve drummers drumming to a partridge (complete with pear tree), will set an aspiring Santa back a hefty $101,119.84. But in case your house is already crowded enough without throwing eleven pipers into the mix, the scent of gingerbread baking is a wonderful gift - for a smidgen of the true cost of Christmas. Pastry chef and bakery owner Dominique Ansel will have you run-run-running as fast as you can ... to the kitchen with his fragrantly spiced adaptation of the classic holiday treat. Click for recipe: http://eatocracy.cnn.com/2011/12/19/gingerbread-in-a-snap/?hpt=ea_mid&hpt=hp_bn8ViewDecember.19th.2011
Blunder Buys
Have you ever bought a product you thought you would love only to get it home and be sorely disappointed? Whether it's Christmas, birthdays or any other gift giving occasion some advance warning of not so great products is appreciated by everyone. Use this circle to inform others about products you have been disatisfied with.
LATEST POSTED BY: indianaI was sitting here beginning to think about Christmas. Even feeling a little proud because I've already picked up a few things when I remembered a big disappointment of mine from last year. Each year I get at least one ornament for each of my children. Many times I'll pick them up for neices and nephews. My mother did this for my sisters and I and we began our own tree decorating with a full tree. I decided to take the plunge and buy HallMark ornaments for my children last year. I got a Jessie (from Toy Story) ornament for my youngest and a Barbie ornament for my older daughter. I put the ornaments in their stockings (which is what I usually do) and was sorely disappointed to find them broken the next morning. They were made of very thin plastic, but I hadn't taken them out of the box at the store to see them-my bad. I had thought though that for $12+ I would be getting a quality product. I think these ornaments are mass produced expensive brittle plastic. I'll stick with the unique ornaments I can pick up at craft shows and out of the way stores.ViewOctober.18th.2011
Raising a Tween!!!!
My daughter is my life. Now that she is 12yrs,and the terrible tweens, some days she wakes up, and I'm wondering "Where did my daughter go, and who are you?" !!!
LATEST POSTED BY: Erin OThe special town hall discussion led by Anderson Cooper will include parenting expert Rosalind Wiseman, who joined us here on TheMotherhood for four Tween Academy classes over the past month! _____________ Bully-proofing your kids By Katia Hetter, Special to CNN Tune in all this week for a special series devoted to bullying and its damaging effects on our children, on "AC360º" at 8 p.m. ET. Then tune in Saturday night at 8 ET for "Bullying: It Stops Here," a special town hall discussion led by Anderson Cooper. (CNN) -- Miranda Jones can remember many afternoons in the counselor's office in her small-town Colorado middle school, crying about other kids relentlessly teasing about her weight. She'd change clothes in the bathroom stall after gym so the other girls wouldn't laugh at her size. By high school, she was spending countless hours in the library reading to avoid social situations and the possibility of being teased. She rarely complained to her teachers, assuming they would just make it worse if they confronted her bullies. "I went out on a limb (my freshman year in high school) and decided to join the speech and debate team, which filled countless hours of time that I would have otherwise spent being sad about my lack of friends," says Jones (who didn't want to reveal her real name because she's embarrassed by what happened to her). "Thanks to that activity, I actually made some wonderful friends. I had something to do every weekend. And I was good at it. That was the biggest thing, I think. I excelled at something that terrified most other people my age, and in that, I had some power." Now at a top-ranked women's college in the Northeast, Jones is grateful her debate coaches helped her find something she loved that kept her focused and got her into college. "Without an after-school activity, academic support from adults and without constantly reminding myself that it wasn't going to last forever, I never would have survived the endless taunts of my peers." It's unfortunate that our children will get bullied at school, whether it's about their appearance or dress, their academic ability or hobbies, a disability or just the fact that they're the new kids in town. Schools with vigorous anti-bullying programming are more likely to stop bullies in their tracks, but not every school has a commitment to stopping the abuse. However, there are things parents can do to strengthen their children before the bullying starts, convince them to tell parents if a verbal or physical attack occurs, and keep them safe. Start early. Does your child understand the difference between thinking, feeling and action? Starting when their son was 3, psychologist Tammy Hughes and her school psychologist husband started teaching him. At night, they'd say, "Tell me three good things that happened to you today." This helped him make the distinction between events and his feelings about them. Once he had that mastered, they added, "Tell me three good things that happened to someone else (lesson: the world includes me and other people, their feelings and actions)." Next they asked, "Tell me something you did that worked out well. Now, tell me something that someone else did that worked out well for someone else." "These simple questions help children differentiate themselves and others, and (teach them) cause and effect. If you can connect these ideas and feelings, then it helps children to prepare to identify bullying -- negative versus positive behaviors -- and who did what to cause the outcome," says Hughes, chair of Duquesne University's department of counseling, psychology and special education and co-author of "Understanding Girl Bullying and What to Do About It: Strategies to Help Heal the Divide." "These simple steps help children to guard against blaming themselves for the bullying of others and to help them feel they can act to change the situation." Read more: http://www.cnn.com/2011/10/11/living/bully-proof-kids-hetter/index.html?hpt=hp_bn8ViewOctober.12th.2011
Mothers of Boys (The MOB)
News, thoughts, ideas, anecdotes, frustrations, exasperations and joys about raising boys
LATEST POSTED BY: MarilynI recently joined my 7 yr. old son in Cub Scouts. My older boys did the same back in the 1990's. Still a traditional group & still a good thing for kids to do.ViewDecember.30th.2011
We Are...
In the banner you'll see we have a rotating tagline that starts with "The Motherhood" (it used to start with We Are... so, some of the posts in this Forum are finishing off the sentence We Are...) With the new header, we'd love to include your taglines there too. So, complete the sentence "The Motherhood" in a post here, and we'll add it to our tagline queue! YAY!
LATEST POSTED BY: Deborahmoving the conversation forward....ViewJanuary.12th.2012Women and Hormones
Women and Hormones!
LATEST POSTED BY: gottalovemomPregnant at 47 – or is it something else? I exercise. I diet. I meditate. And yet – the past few weeks, I was baffled. Who would have thought that in less than a year I would gain 15 pounds? Who would have thought that my mood would erratically change from “ready to conquer the world” to “I just want to lay down and sleep?” Who would have thought that I can be bloated in 1 day and then feeling slimmer again the next day? I thought I was pregnant at 47! I blurted out to my husband, “What kind of joke is this?” To read more: http://gottalovemom.blogspot.com/2011/10/pregnant-at-47.htmlViewOctober.12th.2011
mom's big night in
Pull up a comfy chair, kick up your feet...grab a glass of wine or cup of tea, and let's talk and laugh and have a good evening in...with friends.
LATEST POSTED BY: EmilyYeah!! Can't wait for tonight!!!!!ViewJanuary.23rd.2012
body consciousness
Where our minds, hearts and bodies can come together to honor ourselves--our wholeness, especially when we feel the most broken. We are enough.
LATEST POSTED BY: Erin OThe bully inside: Women who can't take a compliment Why so many have a tough time graciously accepting praise I recently approached a woman in my local gym, admiring her turn at the weight machines. "Wow, you are really strong," I said. "That's an awesome amount of weight." She looked at me blankly. "What's wrong with it?" "Nothing," I responded. "It's just impressive." “What do you mean by that?," she asked, eyeing me. "Uh, I don't know," I stammered, flummoxed. "I mean…It’s great. I just…anyway…O.K. then.” And I backed away slowly. This sort of thing happens all the time. I once complimented a retail clerk’s hands -- no kidding, she had gorgeous hands -- and you would’ve thought I had just handed her a mash note. Recently health writer Leslie Goldman addressed the issue of female discomfort upon receiving a compliment in her Healthbreaksloose blog. When another woman complimented Goldman’s legs Goldman said “‘Oh my God, are you kidding me?! My legs are covered with spider veins!’” Why, Goldman wrote, do women have such a tough time graciously accepting praise and simply saying thanks? In Goldman's view, the pressure to reject a compliment is ingrained in women from an early age. "I think women are just kind of raised to seem humble," Goldman told Kathie Lee and Hoda on TODAY Wednesday. Developmental psychologist Dr. Robyn Silverman suggests that at least when it comes to compliments about a woman’s appearance, an “inner body bully” makes women deny that the flattery could be true. "[It] tells us we're not thin enough, we're not good enough and not worthy enough to take the compliment and so we downgrade it," Silverman, author of "Good Girls Don't Get Fat" told TODAY. Read more: http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/44340053/ns/today-today_health/ViewAugust.31st.2011Moms on the Labyrinth
Discover the spiritual practice of walking labyrinths and find out if this sacred path speaks to the soul of who you are as a mom.... I started my company, "Labyrinth Wellness, LLC" five years ago to share with others the ancient spiritual practice of walking labyrinths. My passion is helping individuals, particularly women, learn more about this meditative tool for prayer and centering. Locate a labyrinth in your local community and enjoy a quiet walk on your own today. Discover how this practice can help you rediscover your Center and enable you to share the best part of yourself with your kids. Bring your children along and walk the labyrinth as a family.... I invite you to join our Circle today and share a bit of your own personal journey. Find us on Facebook and Twitter, too. Peace for your Path, Robin
LATEST POSTED BY: robinOur Winter 2012 Veriditas Journal in now online. This is our very special "Photography, Technology and Research" issue. I'd love to hear your thoughts on it: http://www.veriditas.org/newsletters/journal.pdf (Our cover photo was taken by Andy Buchanan)ViewJanuary.21st.2012
What Moms Think About the National Debt
Next week (Jan 11-12) I have the opportunity to go to Washington DC and talk to lawmakers and others about the national debt. More information about the trip here: http://www.sheposts.com/content/bloggers-prepare-trip-meet-congress This is an initiative from MomThink, a public awareness campaign dedicated to educating mothers about important issues that will impact their children today and in the future. It is a project of Intellectual Takeout, a non-profit, non-partisan think tank. I would LOVE to take YOUR thoughts with me. So tell me, what do you want to tell Congress about the national debt? Questions? Thoughts? Concerns? Issues? Solutions? Weigh in! Thanks!!
LATEST POSTED BY: juliepippertMore information: the Dept of Treasury Accounting and Budgeting FAQ (very good to know stuff): http://www.treasury.gov/resource-center/faqs/Budget/Pages/us-budget.aspxViewJanuary.5th.2011
Sen.KirstenGillibrand's Circle
Personal Circle for SenatorKirstenGillibrand
LATEST POSTED BY: SenatorKirstenEach year approximately 87 million Americans -- 5 million in New York alone -- are made ill by contaminated food. Of those, 371,000 are hospitalized with foodborne illness, and 5,700 die. In 2010 America, this is simply unacceptable. The fact is, our food safety laws have not truly been overhauled in more than a century. Back in December, in my post here at The Motherhood "post.php?sid=453576 ," I wrote about the importance of developing a new comprehensive food safety agenda that brings these laws up to date and focuses on prevention and notification. As I wrote then:...we must improve public education and ensure that information about food-borne illnesses and recalls are distributed accurately and efficiently. I am authoring the Consumer Recall Notification Act – legislation that would improve communication among states, state and local health departments, food distributors and vendors to provide consumers with faster and more complete information. For example, we must post all recall notices on the very grocery store shelves and freezers where a recalled product would have been bought. This will help consumers receive vital information in a timely manner.I am now proud to report that this week, I've introduced The Consumer Recall Notification Act and we're hoping to include it as a part of Senator Durbin's comprehensive Food Safety Modernization Act, which the Senate will take up next month. This bill would accomplish several important goals:Notify ConsumersStores that track purchases through customer loyalty cards or membership programs would be required to notify consumers when they have purchased a recalled product;Distribute Information to Restaurants and Food RetailersFacilities that have distributed foods subject to a Class I recall would be required to notify stores and restaurants within 24 hours of the public announcement of the recall. The FDA would also be required publish a list online of all stores and restaurants that received contaminated products, which in turn must then post notices where the contaminated product was sold so that consumers can be alerted that they may have purchased a recalled product.Distribute Information to Health WorkersWhen there is a Class I recall, the FDA would be required to distribute advisories to States, local health departments and frontline health professionals, which include a list of symptoms to look out for and test for in order to diagnose food-borne illness. We still have a lot more work to do to reform America's century-old food safety laws. Currently these laws do not go far enough to protect our families from foodborne illnesses. As the mother of two young boys, protecting children and all Americans from such preventable tragedies is one of the reasons I went into public service. The government must do all it can to protect its citizens and I'm proud to play a part in pushing this important piece of legislation forward.While it's still an uphill climb to get included in the larger bill -- more likely, the bill will call for a study of the value of such notification procedures -- I'm proud that this bill has injected the importance of consumer notification into the conversation. I'm hopeful that -- whether through my bill or another -- similar consumer protections will be included in the final legislation that the Senate will take up next month.As http://www.goodhousekeeping.com/product-testing/ghri-test-kitchen/new-food-safety-legislation-an wrote last week, you can help by letting your Senator know that you support the Food Safety Modernization Act.You can find out more about Senator Gillibrand at http://kirstengillibrand.com . You can also follow her on http://www.facebook.com/KirstenGillibrand and on http://twitter.com/sengillibrand .ViewMarch.17th.2010
Complaint of the day!
In one sentence, make a complaint, like you are complaining (or whining) to the person that can change it. It'll feel good to get it off your chest, even if it is something small.
LATEST POSTED BY: JoyHere's one I know has probably NEVER been complained about before....... Dear House, will you please either clean yourself or start throwing things at the people who defile you?! Oh, but not me. You can't throw things at me because I've been picking you up for years!! I've earned the right to defile you if I want to!ViewOctober.25th.2011
Three things I got done today!
Because as Mom's the stuff we get done also gets undone just as quick... we need to make a note of the things we did get done everyday!
LATEST POSTED BY: Quiltndollmaker1. Dusted the floors quietly with a dust mop. 2. Had a political discussion with son M and his friend that I hope made them think since they are newbie voters. 3. Watched a big beef roast shrink in oven as it cooked...but it was good!ViewApril.30th.2012
Catching Myself
I am tired of "letting myself go." Here is the place for those of us who have taken ourselves off our priority list to put ourselves back on.
LATEST POSTED BY: Erin OGet more sleep!!! I know I need to! _______ 7 Telltale Signs You’re Sleep Deprived By Babble.com People love to joke about sleep deprivation and new parents. Ha ha, it's so funny - you'll never sleep again, they say. Of course no one is kidding. Seriously, it's not a joke. You have a new baby, you don't sleep. And you don't sleep, you're not in the mood to laugh. Or live, really. There are telltale signs that you're a sleep deprived new parent. They're hard to miss. Unless, of course, you're so tired that you miss everything. In that case, here are the top 7 signs you're in need of an Ambien (or 12): 1. You put things where you shouldn't Is that cream I grabbed out of the fridge and put in my coffee? … Or was it breastmilk? On second thought, who cares as long as it's coffee I put in my coffee. 2. You know all the players on C-SPAN I'm not a political junkie, but at 3 a.m. I'm not going to even attempt to fetch the remote when it falls to the ground - because the very fragile baby in my arms just fell asleep. Maybe I can't figure out how to sleep while my baby sleeps, but after 7 straight hours of Key Capitol Hill Hearings on C-SPAN, I've actually figured out how to run the government. So I've got that going for me. 3. You drive like it's your 90th birthday Yep, that's me driving 9 mph in the right lane. You're right, I probably shouldn't be driving on negative sleep. And you're right, the reason I keep drifting into your lane is because I can't remember where I'm going. But that's what the right lane is for (well, that and my grandpa). Get in the left lane, be thankful I didn't have that fifth espresso (because do you really want me driving faster when I'm sleep-deprived and can't remember where I'm going?), and keep moving, buddy. 4. You forget to actually replace the diaper Oh, right. A new diaper. Whoops. When you take off a dirty diaper, you're supposed to replace it with a clean one immediately after. That's something that being well-rested would help me remember to do. Otherwise being peed on helps me remember. Either way. (But preferably the former.) Read more: http://shine.yahoo.com/parenting/7-telltale-signs-8217-sleep-deprived-153600388.htmlViewJanuary.11th.2012Imperfect Parents
Are you the perfect parent? Me neither. Instead of fighting it, i'm coming clean! By the grace of God, I won't totally screw up my children and I might even survive adolescence! Sharing your struggles... think of it as free virtual therapy! ;0)
LATEST POSTED BY: Truthful MommyPregnancy~The Top Ten Things Not Even Your Mama Tells you There are books a million about what you are supposed to do while pregnant. But there is so much information that is withheld from all of the books.It's like a really cruel game and we all just like to watch the new person learn as they go. But not me,I'll tell you what your mama won't. Pregnant women; your smelling powers will become so heightened that you will be able to smell a cookie baking 30 miles away.Unfortunately, no one ever tell you that you will also be able to smell food burning in a wok in China, body odor from a homeless man laying out in the sun wearing his winter parka on a 100 degree day,your husband's dirty socks downstairs and dog shit from the humane society on the other side of town. Pregnancy~Top ten things not even your mama told you Photo courtesy of Google Mama; your morning sickness will actually be all day sickness; culminating in an all out, earth shattering, mind breaking alternating marathon of explosive diarrhea and projectile vomiting brought on by whatever may have happened to blow your direction that day.The White Castle burger that you had to have yesterday can quickly become the catalyst for simultaneous mass exodus of the bodily fluid kind. Thank God nothing like this happens on the birthing table. Mom; your skin will become so dry from hormones that your feet will itch to the point that you will literally rip flesh to quench the itch. That no amount of hydration, moisturizing or wishful thinking and praying will EVER bring your feet back from the grasp of the dry Sahara hell that is the new status quo of your feet. Mommy; The Linea Nigra is actually a landing strip so your husband can find his way back into the pregnant promised land, because, let's face it, there comes time in pregnancy where those "vivid" dreams and our own devices are all we are left with. A little point in the right direction never hurt anybody. Mother; your once beautiful and pert bosoms, will be replaced with over indulged,filled to capacity milk bags with what looks like a road map made of bulging blue veins. And that your sweet little pinky tip, glass cutting nipples will be replaced with flat saucers that look like a bulls-eye..and will NEVER revert back to their previous glory ( without the help of surgery). Mum; your labia will become so engorged with blood, that when you give birth your nether regions will look like Goldie Hawn's over injected collagen fish mouth in the First Wive's Club. Mami; the same outrageous hormonal highs and lows that make you smack a random passer by for looking at your baby bump will be the very same that make you cry when fly lands on your shoulder. Momma; you may have flatulence of the skunk killing kind. So horribly pungent and uncontrollable that you may get yourself barred from any women's functions that you previously belonged to. The Junior League does not appreciate those sorts of donations. Ma; your pregnancy glow is actually increased blood flow causing you to sweat like a fat whore in church. And that the increased hormones that cause the glow also bring with it increased susceptibility to acne (of the face, back & ass variety), increased cervical fluid ( the kind that could cause an unsuspecting pregnant woman to slip right off her stool if she weren't wearing her appropriated parachute pregnancy panties), hair growth in unsuspecting parts ( bearded lady , anyone?), and constipation ( talk about insult to injury) Mumsy; all the meticulous and copious amounts of time that you have spent over the years "landscaping" probably the very source of your pregnancy will become, at 9 months pregnant , non existent. That which once resembled the topiary of the Tuileries will no be more akin to an abandoned outhouse.And we all say that we are going to make our husbands shave us...and none of us actually ever do. There are more, many more, but I feel I have scared the first time mothers sufficiently for now.Happy procreating and remember, there is a 98% chance that you will vomit and or poop on the birthing table.ViewJune.14th.2011
The Rice Krispies Making Memories Circle
We are back for 2011 and so excited! Throughout this year we're adding a twist to the Rice Krispies® challenges of the past that we think everyone will love. Through the Rice Krispies Making Memories Challenge, we're kicking it up a notch to add to the fun. The Motherhood is working with some of our favorite mom bloggers - who are working in four teams of four across the country - to create new Rice Krispies recipes and event "displays" based on surprise themes. Check back often for details on the mom bloggers’ Rice Krispies Making Memories Challenges! We will have four of them throughout the year, so the fun never stops! If you LOVE Rice Krispies® cereal like we do – or have a great memory about Rice Krispies cereal, tip or recipe you want to share – please join the conversation.
LATEST POSTED BY: Erin OAfter tallying the total number of points scored by each team during the four challenges this year - Easter, summer, Halloween and the winter holidays - our judges have reported the results and named a grand prize winner! The overall year-end honors go to the talented ladies of Team Phoenix! Congratulations to Ashley, Wendy, Jacquilyn and Kristyn! ALL of our teams went above and beyond time after time this year. Great job, ladies, and thanks for everything! Happy New Year!!!ViewDecember.20th.2011Raising our Kids & a Garden Too
Welcome to The Motherhood Community Garden! Every year I learn a little more about gardening. Would love to connect with other moms who also like to dig in the dirt and make things grow.
LATEST POSTED BY: Kayla SFirst Lady writes book on edible gardening Washington (CNN) – First lady, wife, mother, careerist, fashionista - Michelle Obama can now add "author" to her list of credentials. Obama has written a book that highlights one of her most visible initiatives as first lady: promoting better nutrition and edible gardening as a means for Americans to get and stay healthy. "American Grown: How the White House Kitchen Garden Inspires Families, Schools, and Communities" aims to explore "how increased access to healthy, affordable food can promote better eating habits and improve the health of families and communities across America," according to a press release issued Monday by the Crown Publishing Group. "Mrs. Obama will describe how her daughters Sasha and Malia were catalysts for change in her own family's eating behavior, which inspired Mrs. Obama to plant an edible garden on the South Lawn - the first since Eleanor Roosevelt's "Victory Garden," planted during World War II." The first lady did not accept an advance for the book and will donate all proceeds to a charity to be revealed later, the statement says. Random House Inc., Crown Publishing Group's parent, will also make a donation to a charity. The book will be on sale nationwide starting April 10. Original article: http://politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com/2011/10/24/flotus-writes-book-on-edible-gardening/ViewOctober.26th.2011Husbands and Wives
The highs and lows, fights and makeups, issues and intrigues of being part of a couple "for better or worse." And how we as couples influence our children.
LATEST POSTED BY: Erin ODoes your partner look like you? My husband and I are similar in coloring and height, but no one has ever mistaken us for blood relations. ____ Reflection connection: Finding your face mate By Georgia Garvey I RedEye Ever look into a mirror and say, "Hey there, good-looking. Come here often?" Some online dating services are banking on just that--an affection for your reflection--and matching clients based on similar facial features before lining them up on the other stuff (likes, dislikes, level of distaste for Coldplay). The sites use facial recognition software to match features and then pair couples who have the most in common. Among them are the New York-based findyourfacemate.com, which launched this year and claims to pair daters based on their faces, and an offering from Coca-Cola, which recently announced a face-matching app on Facebook. Some dating experts said the new focus puts too high a priority on looks and not enough on personality. "It makes no sense at all. ... How self-conceited do you have to be?" said Vilius Gavrilenka, an event director for Chicago-based Date & Dash, who did say he can see how some would want to date someone of a similar level of attractiveness. But, he added, "There are so many other variables in a relationship that are more important." The idea behind the sites is based on studies like one published in June 2010 by the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign that examined people's sexual attraction for others who resembled them. In that study, people said those who looked like them or their parents were more attractive. R. Chris Fraley, who authored the U. of I. study, said he can see implications for dating. "If you were to set people up on the basis of similarity in their facial features, those people would find one another as more attractive than they would if they were paired in a less systematic fashion," Fraley said in an email, but added that "simply finding someone attractive doesn't guarantee that the relationship will work well in the long-term." Others said the computer-based scheme takes some of the mystery out of dating. "It sounds so scary," said Jim Sullivan, a New York-based dating coach. "It's an abomination of the whole dating process." But many acknowledge there's no harm to the approach. Ultimately, any excuse to chat someone up can be a good ice-breaker. "It's actually both goofy and it makes sense," said Kevin Chmura, a River North dating coach. He said that regardless of whether there's "legitimate" psychology behind the process, just having a seemingly scientific rationale for setting two people up "can give them that kind of [dating] confidence." Read the article: http://www.redeyechicago.com/news/redeye-reflection-connection-finding-your-face-mate-20110605,0,6484535.photogalleryViewJune.6th.2011Dodging Lemons
Sometimes it's hard to make the lemonade when the lemons seem to be coming at you with lightning speed. Consider this a spot to share your successes and get comfort for your weary soul. Whatever your state of mind at the moment, share it here.
LATEST POSTED BY: indianaMy secret life. This is what I would never EVER dare share with my mother-in-law or one of my two sisters. I'm even a bit hesitant to share it with my open minded liberal sister. It's not the sort of place you would ever expect me to go to or the people anyone would ever think I would "hang out" with. Sunday night I went to a gay bar (wait, thats not all) for a drag show. A friend of mine had always wanted to see one. She said movies she loved such as "The BirdCage" and "To Wong Fu; Thank's for Everything Julie Newmar" had always made her curious My friend has two male gay friends who had been, but not for years and wanted to see what had changed and what had stayed the same. Some of what I experienced was expected and some unexpected. The first thing I noticed was the burley and not friendly bouncer. They took your ID and scanned it to make sure it wasn't fake. This, as a mom I have to say, I appreciated. The next was the very friendly and extremely PTA/Soccer Mom looking woman who took our money for the cover charge (which was happily only $5 with no drink buying minimum. PLUS!) Then on to the bar where my wild friend and I ordered our Diet Cokes from (no joke) this drop dead gorgeous bartender. Oh and he had the personality to make tips! Very nice guy, young enough to at least be my nephew. It was a varied and friendly crowd. There were many strange people, and I'm not talking about the drag queens here. There were a few people obviously star struck by the Queens and they were a little obsessed and "off;" Other than that there were obviously gay couples, after awhile obviously gay couples, couldn't ever really tell groups of people, groups of friends, and the drag queens who had already performed there to cheer on the Queens yet to perform. All but one person was very convincing as a woman and there is one my friend and I were convinced was thrown in there for fun because I still can't see how it wasn't a woman. I stood there doing what women do, looking at hair, makeup and clothing, taking mental notes on things I liked. No one was out of control. No one was a jerk. Everyone in the room was supportive of the person on stage at the time. It was a kind of Utopia where everyone was accepted and encouraged and no one was put down or judged I know this all may sound strange, and maybe even a bit scarey. I may go again sometime, I may not. I am glad though that I did go because it opened my eyes to a community I'm just not ever exposed to and let me see that in the end Drag Queens are just people. People looking for the same things we all want. Recognition for hard work, acceptance in a community and the freedom to live life in the way they see fit.ViewJanuary.18th.2012
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