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juliepippert This past November and again in December, I went to SeaWorld. The first time I came home with a fabulous book: Whale Done! -- a book about that positive training techniques the SeaWorld trainers use with the amazing animals we see when we visit the park. The key concept I took from the Whale Done! book about positive behavior motivation is to not wait until the end to notice and reward progress, whether for yourself or others. That concept, along with a job I held many years ago, came in handy for parenting this weekend. It helped me find a way to motivate my kids to tidy up.Nearly fifteen years ago I was working for a high-tech company that had created one of the earliest GPS models for long-haul trucking. I loved that job for a variety of reasons -- cool work, learning new things, adventure, travel, awesome coworkers -- but one thing that has stayed with me for all of these years is the concept of routing.For each trip, the company and driver created a route with way points. Each time the driver hit a way point, the GPS sent a ping back to the company. The company liked to reward drivers who accomplished the route.You see, a lot of truckers were varying routes, taking detours, getting off track, breaking speed limits, and so forth. It was a real problem on many levels for the company.By setting a route with way points, the company could tell when a driver stayed on track and stuck to the (legal) plan. Drivers who did this were rewarded. It really worked.Setting goals is important, but so is setting way points and guidelines along the way.When you keep your eye and attention focused on the goal, sometimes it's too easy to lose what you've accomplished so far.The Whale Done! book reminded me of setting routes, way points, and sending a ping as I met each point, not just the end destination. When my husband and I were struggling to come up with a way to get the kids on track with cleaning their rooms, it finally occurred to me that we needed to break it down, the big goal of cleaning, and reward the children for their progress, as the trucking company and SeaWorld trainers did.Yesterday, I set the egg timer for ten minute intervals -- a time I felt was age appropriate for my two kids (8 and 5) and long enough to accomplish some tidying but not so long as to feel overwhelmed or lose focus). At the end of each time period, my husband and I checked the kids' progress, and rewarded them if they stayed on track and hit a way point on the route to cleaning up their rooms. They had a choice among four rewards:1. A dime2. A red jelly candy3. A chocolate candy4. A hug and praise from Mom and DadThey did get off track some, and did get distracted, but on the whole, they kept to the route and they enjoyed choosing among their rewards (and they chose all four at some point). There was no yelling, no punishment, and although the rooms aren't perfect, they are indeed tidy and we all stayed positive about it.Most of all, I saw the kids taking ownership of the cleaning, and choosing what part to clean for each interval. It was great to see their independence, and wonderful to see them caring about the cleaning on their own. Best of all was their pride in doing the job well.It's funny how different things come together to be helpful for me in life, especially in parenting. I'm sure I never expected a job held long-ago to give me a good idea of how to parent. I'm sure I never thought that SeaWorld would provide good guidance about parenting. But that's the blessing in life -- getting great pieces that pull together for a something beautiful.
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