juliepippert A new interesting article from Ellen:
"What Makes A Parent-Child Relationship Close?"
My thirty-something-year-old daughter recently emailed a colleague of hers and me to introduce us, saying: “there are many overlaps in your work—you really should meet each other.”
So when we finally met (and after we had taken a cell phone photograph of us together to email to my daughter, saying “Mission Accomplished!”), I expected the conversation to begin with our mutual interests in work. It didn’t. My daughter’s colleague launched our conversation by asking:
“I don’t know many people your daughter’s age who are as close to their mothers as your daughter is to you. I have a 10-year-old and would love to have that kind of relationship with my own daughter. Why do you think you are so close?”
“I had that kind of relationship with my own mother,” I answered. “I connect to my daughter the way my mother connected to me.”
“What did she do?” my daughter’s colleague asked.
“I was always free to tell her when things weren’t working between us and why,” I answered.
Read the rest at: http://www.mamapedia.com/voices/what-makes-a-parent-dash-child-relationship-close
3 months ago -
Emily Ellen, Thank you so so so much for an amazing, incredible conversation today!!!!!! It has been pure magic, and we all have enjoyed it enormously! I am going to find a quiet moment and read the entire conversation again at my leisure so I can fully absorb every last word of yours, of the incredible mom bloggers who co-hosted and the wonderful community here in TheMotherhood.
Thank you Morra, Julie (themomslant), Amy (mojomom), Asha (parenthacks), Jo-Lynne and Miriam for co-hosting today! You have created the most welcoming, thoughtful, interesting, insightful, story-filled space for today's conversation and we love you and appreciate your contributions enormously!
Thank you, wonderful women!!!
Everyone is welcome to keep talking. Cooper and I will be in and out all evening - we just didn't want to miss a chance to say thank you to everyone who has made this so great.
Ellen, we look forward to having another Talk with you here in TheMotherhood, and cheering you on as the world continues to catch on to how brilliant your new book is!!!!!!!
4 months ago -
Brandie Favor please -
If you don't mind, can you all leave your twitter name/blog/website address. It's been such a great chat I want to stalk, err, follow you all some more =)
4 months ago -
Morra Thanks everyone! I have to thank Ellen especially too because through MITM she has taught me to breathe, smile, and have fun with my little one!!
4 months ago -
DebiP Whoops, I came late and have to leave early. Kids getting off the bus. Thanks for the few moments of encouragement and interesting dialog.
4 months ago -
parenthacks Thank you all for letting me be a part of this amazing conversation. I learned so much from all of you!
4 months ago -
MiriamPeskowitz Hey Everyone, I'm checking in late, but what an amazing conversation. I've been thinking so much lately about free play, and playfulness, and how so much of parenting conversation has been about anxiety. Thanks Ellen, for bringing us to such big and positive and forward-looking issues about kids and character.
4 months ago -
Emily The winners of the Vook of Ellen's new book are .... (drumroll, please ....):
1. Ashley
2. Thienkim
Congratulations!!!!!!!! Send me a message with the email you'd like to use to receive the Vook!
Yay!
4 months ago -
Emily We're about to do the random drawing - two participants in the Talk will win a Vook of "Mind in the Making"!!! Here's a link to the Vook: http://vook.com/product.php?book_id=33
4 months ago -
DebiP I'm sorry I'm so late. But I have a question. I hope no one's asked it yet. How do these recommendations apply to special needs children? Or is that an entirely different set of issues?
4 months ago -
Emily Here's The Mind in the Making video Morra referenced below! It's wonderful!!!
4 months ago -
Brandie In your article The Guilt Trip - you mention that a few parents talked about how it as too late for them - that their kids were too grown for them to use the info in the book. That made me feel sad and makes me wonder - how do I raise my kids to believe it's never too late?
And I'm curious, how many moms here think it's too late for me to And how do you personally try to overcome those sorts of feelings?
4 months ago -
Morra I love this video- on focus and self-control http://www.youtube.com/mitmchannel#p/a/u/1/Lu1V9GM6BXE Ellen shares research and tips. There will be more to come!
4 months ago -
Chrysula Fabulous conversation, but I must away for a while. Will check back in later. Gratitude for some thoughtful and helpful ideas. Am half way through reading Mind in the Making, LOVING it so far.
4 months ago -
catalystmom what activities do you recommend for a toddler (age 4) to help begin setting the foundation for these skills -- does your book provide specific things parent's can do at home with their children to support the essential skill development goals? thanks. Kaushika
4 months ago -
Chrysula One of my children often demonstrates a sort of "learned helplessness". She's my eldest and I've often thought it a tool to hold on to me, to consciously choose dependence to have more of my time. My 5 and 3 year old show more competency at certain basic tasks than she does. It's not an intellect issue. She's just as smart. Does anyone have any thoughts on this?
4 months ago -
Ellen Galinsky I have to sign off for a bit now...but will be watching the conversation and will be back before 3 to continue. I have LOVED this conversation. Emily and I just talked and if you all would like it, I would be thrilled to do this again. And we can have more book drawings too!
4 months ago -
Brandie Here is something my husband and I have talked about frequently that I hope will fit in here.
As a society - we are quick to force independence upon even infants - let them cry at night. If they don't learn to sleep well NOW they will never be INDEPENDENT sleepers. Baby turned one, get that bottle and paci out of their mouth right NOW because we don't want them to be dependent on a bottle or a paci. Heaven forbid. Stop feeding them - make them learn or they'll never be independent feeders. Are you going swimming? Don't use arm floaties - you know they will get dependent on them and never learn to swim independently. Etc, etc. Right - we have such a big focus on making them so independent in some areas and then we (again as a society) step in and they can't walk to school because something might happen. Don't let them ride their bike around the block. Don't leave them home alone - something bad could happen. Don't let them in the kitchen - they might burn themselves. Well basically, it seems at certain point our fear causes us to actual hinder a lot situations that can foster independence.
To my husband and I this seems so contradictory. Are we alone in our observation? Are we crazy? Or does anyone else see this too?
4 months ago -
Chrysula What are your thoughts about the "unschooling" movement, as it connects to the research?
4 months ago -
parenthacks An amazing book for those interested in keeping the learning "spark" alive in their kids. Practical ideas for supplementing the "programmed" school day, and for providing lots of encouragement for independent thinking, creativity, and problem-solving.
Guerrilla Learning: How to Give Your Kids a Real Education With or Without School by Grace Llewellyn
http://www.amazon.com/Guerrilla-Learning-Education-Without-School/dp/0471349607/
OK. This is just too interesting. I'm REALLY leaving now. Back soon!
4 months ago -
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Deborah Thanks for linking this in, Julie. I really heart Ellen. I think/hope I'm doing this with my sons. You know, without totally sMothering them. So, I'm trying to keep a balance....to honor their boy-ness. I wonder what Ellen saying specifically to moms of boys?
3 months ago
juliepippert That's a great Q. I wonder, as well.
I heart Ellen too. I've been pondering her point and question in the article all morning, since reading it.
3 months ago
Deborah I would LOVE another chance to pick her brain. That was a GREAT chat. I'm still chewing on all she had to say. I'm wondering if, being as open and honest ( with kindness) with boys would be in the same vain as telling my boys what's not working between us? Last week, the 15 year old said..."don't say it. Don't say 'sweep the floor'. I hate when you tell me to do it. I'd rather do it without you telling me." Oh. Alright. SO I said, "you know what I hated when I was in high school? when the teacher would say, 'now, open your books to page...'". B got up off his chair and hugged me. He says he hates that too. Hates it. We were really cracking up. I wonder what Ellen would say about that exchange? Lord knows I'm trying.
3 months ago
juliepippert Awesome story, Deborah! I bet she'd say way to go!
3 months ago