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is dreaming of a beach
We're talking about taking care of ourselves and the life lessons that are most important to us. Regina Brett caused a sensation when she wrote a column for the Cleveland Plain Dealer listing her life lessons. Her top ten life lessons are: 1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good. 2. When in doubt, just take the next small step. 3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. 4. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does. 5. Pay off your credit cards every month. 6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree. 7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone. 8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it. 9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck. 10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
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Regina Brett and God Never Blinks
Jun 02, 2010 Wednesday, 1:00pm EST - Add as Favorites
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TALK HOSTS:
Category:BODY AND SOUL
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- Regina Brett 21 comments
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One of the lessons is that your children have only one childhood, make it memorable. I spent too much time trying to be supermom (and dad, since I was a single parent) and realized she just wanted my presence, playing dolls, cards, whatever. Just really being with her 100 percent meant the most to her.
about 1 year ago
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- Tésa 17 comments
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Regina, I struggle with the lesson, "If you don't ask, you don't get." I'm horrible about asking for help or even for things I want. Do you feel like you are now any better at this? And do you have any advice for someone who finds this a seemingly impossible, but very important lesson to learn?
about 1 year ago
Deborah
That's good. Really good.
about 1 year ago
juliepippert
Regina, I hear you. I was actually thinking of a conversation from yesterday in which a friend's FB status was "Need to work, what will I do with kids today?" I offered that I could watch them. It seemed fitting. I learned definitely to ask "what will help" but then again, sometimes people hate that question and wish you didn't make them choose. So it's a subtle thing of knowing someone. You are someone who wants to be asked, others want specific offers. Or maybe it's a Southern thing LOL!!!
about 1 year ago
Regina Brett
Maybe you can say, How can I best help you? Or offer three possible options (that you'd like to do) and let them choose. Sometimes people offer something that they want to give, but won't really help you. When I was going through chemotherapy, someone offered to send gourmet meals over. I declined, because all I could eat was mashed potatoes and scrambled eggs. Someone told me, Treat people the way they want to be treated, not the way you want to treat them.
about 1 year ago
juliepippert
Hmm, pondering that. Emily, I agree, it feels like that for me, too. I am perplexed when I extend a hand and the other person has discomfort about accepting it, even if it's just an offer to watch kids for an hour so she can shop. I wonder about this discomfort.
about 1 year ago
Regina Brett
When I had breast cancer 12 years ago, I made a list of my Dream Team -- everyone I knew I could count on. I gave them each an assignment that fit them and helped me. If someone loved to cook, they were my chef. If someone loved to clean, they were on the crew to clean. Those who weren't good at anything brought me books and videos from the library. Maybe you have to match what you need with the person who has that ability to meet that need.
about 1 year ago
Emily
When my friend has cancer, it was so eye-opening to see how much people wanted to be asked for help. For many people, me included, it feels like a sign of true friendship to be called upon in a time of need.
about 1 year ago
Regina Brett
If someone always says no, that's a sign to ask someone else. One of my friends constantly let's me down, never shows up on time, can't be counted on to bring the dessert she promised to, etc. I had the choice to either let her go or accept her. I decided to love her as is, and to stop asking her to do what she obviously was unable to do. Go where the open door is. I count on people who can be counted. Mercy goes a long way, so does having a LOT of people in your life to ask.
about 1 year ago
Brandie
I know I can't always say yes, so I know others can't. Even though hearing no sucks. But I'd rather hear a no, sorry I can't do that for you right now, than have the person say yes (fully knowing they will never follow through) and finding out too late that was the situation. :(
about 1 year ago
juliepippert
Regina, a follow-up Q to this response: what did you do with a person, for example, who was a habitual no? Who and what did that person become to you?
about 1 year ago
Regina Brett
Start off with small things and ask more than one person. I have a deep fear of rejection so I hate to ask anyone for anything. Cancer knocked that out of me. I had to ask for help, and I gave people permission to say no, and gave myself permission to ask someone else after I heard a no back.
about 1 year ago
Brandie
I've been burned here - I've asked and been let down big time. I've also been made to feel guilty for even having to ask from some people. Well, I guess it was a lesson in who I could rely on. Now I have people I can ask and will jump through hoops to help me if they could - and I can not tell you how truly blessed I feel to have those people in my life.
about 1 year ago
Dawn Camp
Sara, I love that!
about 1 year ago
Sara Sophia
Ask and you shall recieve. Sometimes the gift that God wants to give you is in another pair of hands. The leading to ask is there---you just have to follow it.
about 1 year ago
Brandie
Sprittibee - that is amazing and wonderful! =)
about 1 year ago
Tésa
Wow! Congrats! That must be so exciting for you! I've had a few things happen in the past that have been positive results because I've asked, I just can't get over the fear & anxiety that comes with asking even though I've been proven wrong. I suppose it just takes practice and the more I do it the less I will feel nervous about it. Good luck with your trip! It sounds like it will be quite an event!
about 1 year ago
Robyn
Sprittibee I love that example and I am like your husband, still picking my jaw up off of the floor! God definitely provides, and *I think* He wants us to ask for what we need - of Him and of each other.
about 1 year ago
Sprittibee
I had to start asking recently when I wanted to do things that were impossible for me as far as blogging was concerned. I wanted to take a trip from Texas to DC for a conference and we have no money or way to do it. I asked GM for a loaner vehicle and THEY SAID YES! My husband is still shocked. Now I'm just raising the gas, travel and food money to go... but that one QUESTION saved me $1,200 in car rental fees.
about 1 year ago
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Becki
So, so true. Even small things are important--or especially small things. My grandmother was 75 when I was born, and when she was 80, she used to get on the floor at her house and build card houses with me. She told my mother she did it so I would have something to remember her by. She knew she wouldn't have too many years left, and she wanted her youngest grandchild to remember her fondly. It worked.
about 1 year agoDeborah
If you were to ask my own boys what they received for Christmas last year or the year before...I'd bet they'd REALLY have to think about it. And in ten years...they'd really be stumped. But, in 2005 we surprised the kids in my big family with a trip to Disney together. They still talk about that. We could have gone anywhere...it was the memory of that time together that is still with them.
about 1 year agoEmily
Oh, that is sooooo fantastic!!! It is about the moments and not the things!
about 1 year agoBrandie
I think a lot of people just need to shift their view of memorable - I think a lot of people are like your parents Deborah - planning really elaborate things for the memories - and so busy planning the big things that they forget the little things can be powerful memories as well.
about 1 year agoDeborah
Isn't that awesome??? :) :) :)
about 1 year agoRegina Brett
You're right - it isn't in the big stuff. I've still never been to Disneyworld. Our best memories are the spontaneous moments of fun. Same for me as a kid. I don't remember one single Christmas gift I got, but remember staying up with my sister Mary til 3 a.m. making popcorn balls to put in all the stockings.
about 1 year agoDeborah
Making it memorable sounds daunting. We cannot control what our children will remember...it's in the day to day stuff. The stuff that happens when we might not be paying attention. My own paretns would plan AMAZING vacations and my sister and I STILL talk about the inch worm crawling through my dad's meal or when my I swallowed a two inch trout bone. And had it stcuk in my throat. I think this reminds us it's in the everyday that we create memories and our hertiage.
about 1 year agoSprittibee
I love that quote that says "Cleaning the house while you have children at home is like shoveling the walk before it quits snowing." ;) That's my motto. So don't come over here with a white glove. I promise you'll get some dust! I keep hoping that one day, when the debts are paid, I'll be able to afford a maid! Until then, we do it when we can GET TO IT.
about 1 year agoEmily
Awww ... I love these reminders. Just to be with them. My girls are growing up so fast ... don't they all?!?
about 1 year agoSara Sophia
Yes, yes and double yes. I keep telling myself that and still find myself nagging about the shoes on the floor anyway. The practice of truth is where I struggle.
about 1 year agoRegina Brett
The dust bunnies can wait. The kids can't. They are gone so fast, and you end up longing for the days when you yelled at them to put their shoes away and clean their rooms.
about 1 year agoDawn Camp
When my mother-in-law comes to town, it puts it in perspective. She just sits and plays with the kids. It's hard sometimes to let go of the day-to-day and just spend time with them.
about 1 year agoRegina Brett
Emily, I love that -- the need versus the noise. Life can be so noisy (kids too!) My dad used to always tell us, "You don't need that." Which applied to almost everything we wanted, but but he was right.
about 1 year agoRegina Brett
One of the lessons in the book is All That Truly Matters in the End is That You Loved. Maybe love is being fully present, not always doing things but just being with our kids without other distractions going on.
about 1 year agoEmily
Triage is a great metaphor - where's the need versus the noise!!!
about 1 year agoSprittibee
My kids know when I'm not THERE. ;) Even when I am present in body.
about 1 year agoRegina Brett
I once worked as an Emergency Medical Technician and learned to triage, to find out who was wounded worst and take care of that person first, not the one screaming or complaining the most. With kids, you have to triage -- what needs addressed ASAP? You might not get to everything.
about 1 year agoTésa
This is so true. I often get so wrapped up in things that don't matter in the end, that I don't have enough time to sit down and just "be" with my children. It's always in the back of my mind and this is a great reminder to do so.
about 1 year agoRegina Brett
It really is. That's what's so amazing about children. They naturally stay put in today and don't drift off into regrets of yesterday or fear of tomorrow, until they grow up.
about 1 year agoRobyn
100% present is the key, isn't it?
about 1 year agoSara Sophia
Amen!
about 1 year ago