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Regina Brett and God Never Blinks
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- Emily 12 comments
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I am so looking forward to this Talk!!!! Regina is wonderful! I thought I'd share some information on her from her website:
"My book is a collection of essays and stories that tell about the 50 lessons life taught me. Yes, I’m the author of that column that became an internet sensation. People from Australia to Zimbabwe have given it out at family reunions and weddings. They’ve tucked it in wallets, pinned it to work cubicles and stuck it under refrigerator magnets. Preachers have quoted it from pulpits, readers have posted it on thousands of blogs and small town papers have reprinted it all over the country.
"...Before my writing career, I worked as a waitress, ambulance attendant, alcoholism counselor, legal secretary and for a while picked up bodies for a funeral home. I’m from a family of 11 children -- I’m one of the many in the middle. I grew up in a small town in Ohio where I got lost on a lot of life detours. The two most unexpected detours in my life -- becoming an unwed mother at 21 and a breast cancer survivor at 41 -- turned into two of the most amazing gifts of my life and taught me many of these life lessons."
Join us for a conversation that is sure to be incredible!
about 1 year ago
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- Becki 0 comments
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I just found out I have to be out of the office for a couple of hours, and will miss the talk. I love the top ten life lessons, and can't wait to read more. Some of these have helped me already this morning! Especially #1--I think sometimes we (I) think that if God loves us (me), he'll make everything easy, or at least fair. Of course it's not easy or fair, but sometimes the greatest stuff grows out of the hardest times. I would never ask for hard times, though, and neither would most other people I know. Maybe that's another example of God knowing better what we need than we ourselves do.
Looking forward to reading everyone's thoughts!
about 1 year ago
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- Cooper 0 comments
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I just read the top 50 list on Regina's website and I am all misty. There are so many points on that list I want to share with my 13 yo right now. How do you recommend sharing "life lessons" with teens who might think they know all they need to know already?
about 1 year ago
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- Regina Brett 12 comments
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One way to share the lessons with teens is to have them come up with their own life lessons. You could also have fun with them and challenge them to name the lessons they think you're teaching them (or lecturing them about). My best conversations with my daughter when she was a teen happened late at night, when I was exhausted but she needed to talk. When I let her create the opening, I could sneak in some deeper topics.
about 1 year ago
Deborah
I've found as my boys head off to bed for the night I would go in a talk about their day....just opening some quiet space. In the dark they open up....and bonus they can't see my expression when they share stuff I wasn't expecting. ;)
about 1 year ago
Dawn Camp
Ummm, I wonder what the kids would think if I wrote DISMANTLE THE BUTTON across the big dry erase board in the kitchen... I need the reminder. ;-)
about 1 year ago
Sara Sophia
DISMANTLE THE BUTTON --Squee! I love it!
about 1 year ago
Dawn Camp
I love that—"dismantle the button"—that's my new goal! :-)
about 1 year ago
Brandie
I'm finding this especially with my oldest right now. Often, after everyone else is asleep, she'll come down and talk to me. I think it's because it's the only time she can be assured she'll get just me - and not her siblings interrupting. Often when we do this, we end up talking very serious and then we'll start getting silly or start an activity together and I love it. And at that point bedtime is the farthest thing from my mind. It's amazing what sorts of talks we can have when the house is quiet!
about 1 year ago
Regina Brett
I hear you Dawn, about those buttons. The best advice I got about parenting a teen was, "Don't take anything they say or do personally." If I dismantle the button, they can press all they want!
about 1 year ago
Regina Brett
My favorite passages are from the Psalms. They help keep me steady through the ups and downs of life. My favorite line, "I will come to the altar of God, the God of my joy." Love that kind of God.
about 1 year ago
Dawn Camp
I have a 13-year-old daughter who likes to "push my buttons." One of my goals is to show her unconditional love, that she can't push me away, that I'm always available to talk.
about 1 year ago
Sprittibee
A great place to look for life lessons - to talk about with your kids if you want to 'brainstorm' is the Bible. Proverbs and Ecclesiastes are chocked full of 'life lesson' material. My husband's favorite is "A nagging wife is a constant dripping." LOL
about 1 year ago
Sara Sophia
I agree, going over the day with my sons---even as little as they are...helps them to process struggles and hard moments in a positive way. Especially as sometimes we don't get a chance to truly address the issue otherwise.
about 1 year ago
Robyn
Great idea Regina. Even though my son is not quiet a teen yet, I'm preparing for those days! Starting those conversation early I hope pays off in a few years.
about 1 year ago
Emily
Bedtime is big in our house too. I've only just realized that it doesn't really matter what time they fall asleep. More important to be there for the conversations that show up then and only then.
about 1 year ago
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- Robyn 3 comments
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Regina, do you feel like you are still building your list of life lessons?
about 1 year ago
Sprittibee
Life is always teaching us something. :)
about 1 year ago
Sara Sophia
Beautiful. I've found photography to be a great way for me to stop and savor the moments. Its like I've caught them---frozen the minute to look back on--and when I do look back on it I just think "WOW, this is my life, these are MY children--and suddenly everything is much clearer." Puts all the hard spots in perspective.
about 1 year ago
Regina Brett
Robyn, every day life teaches me something. I have my first grandbaby, Asher, who is 1. He is teaching me to savor the sunbeams that fall on the step as he crawls up them.
about 1 year ago
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- Emily 10 comments
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Regina, are there particular lessons that resonate most for you right now?
about 1 year ago
Regina Brett
This conversation really is helping me to see that so much of the burden on us is that we think we have to parent perfectly, as if there is such a thing. I'm learning to do the best I can right now, and that's a moving target. My best at 2 p.m. might not be as good as my best at 5 p.m. but it's all I can do right now.
about 1 year ago
Brandie
I'm so on that practice failing - I had to do it too. And amazing, my kids are learning to fail because I'm learning to fail. And here's something else - I don't want my kids to think I'm perfect. Because I think that will put unnecessary stress on them to feel like they must be perfect in order for me to love them. The pressure of that is so daunting and so hard to carry. I don't want them to have to do it.
about 1 year ago
Tésa @ 2 Wired 2 Tired
I love this! It makes it all seem so simple and not nearly as scary. My daughter thinks it's hilarious when her socks don't match. She'll think it's a riot when mine don't tomorrow!
about 1 year ago
Regina Brett
Start with the possible. Start with the small thing you know is do-able. A counselor once told me to lower my expectations. She encouraged me to practice failing so I wouldn't be so terrified of it. She said, wear socks don't match one day just to try out being imperfect and realize it's not so horrible.
about 1 year ago
Sprittibee
I've also heard, "Do the next thing." or "What CAN you do?" My lesson right now is to accept that we won't be getting as much done as I plan. Having a 1 year old in our homeschool is a challenge that is teaching us all some very important life lessons! However, when the day is done, we laugh together - we love each other - we learn to serve one another... and really, that is so much more important than "how long it takes to get the school year finished". This IS the school year. They ARE learning. Being a list-making, Ninja-get-it-done type of mom, this has been a REALLY hard lesson to learn for me. I've had to DRASTICALLY change my expectations. And learn to have a better attitude when things aren't complete on deadline! ;) Still working on that.
about 1 year ago
Sara Sophia
How true, that is a great quote that should be engraved on something I own---"take the next small right step." I need a new Lisa Leonard necklace now:P
about 1 year ago
Brandie
Sara - I think I could say the same thing about me.
about 1 year ago
Regina Brett
The lesson When in doubt just take the next right step has worked for me every step of the way. The big leap scares me, but I usually know what the next small right step is.
about 1 year ago
Sara Sophia
I'm still learning to let go. To not let the day to day matter---and focus on the bigger picture. That its the days I DON'T have it all together that may be the most meaningful for my children. (especially when I feel like I NEVER HAVE IT TOGETHER:P)
about 1 year ago
Emily
Actually, that's a question for all of us!!!!!
about 1 year ago
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- Sara Sophia 6 comments
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I love this quote from Charles Schulz--the creator of Charlie Brown, "In the book of life, the answers aren't in the back."
I think its important to remind our children and OURSELVES, that we learn as we go :)
about 1 year ago
Regina Brett
I always say, "I'm a work in progress." Kind of like we're all still under construction.
about 1 year ago
juliepippert
In our house we have a saying, "I am a learning child." The kids love it when Mom and Dad say it about ourselves lol. The point is that nobody is perfect, but without focusing on a quest for perfection or imperfection, and with focusing on understanding it's a journey and the point is not what so much you do but what you learn and how you grow.
about 1 year ago
Emily
I like the idea of our kids knowing we're learning and growing too and that's what life is all about.
about 1 year ago
Dawn Camp
Yes, sometimes my kids think I was perfect as a kid, and expect them to be, too. It's tricky sharing enough to not let them know you weren't perfect, but not enough to give them any ideas. LOL
about 1 year ago
Regina Brett
Sara, that is so true. And we don't have to know all the answers. Sometimes I don't even know the questions!
about 1 year ago
Cooper
Wonderful!
about 1 year ago
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- Regina Brett 21 comments
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One of the lessons is that your children have only one childhood, make it memorable. I spent too much time trying to be supermom (and dad, since I was a single parent) and realized she just wanted my presence, playing dolls, cards, whatever. Just really being with her 100 percent meant the most to her.
about 1 year ago
Becki
So, so true. Even small things are important--or especially small things. My grandmother was 75 when I was born, and when she was 80, she used to get on the floor at her house and build card houses with me. She told my mother she did it so I would have something to remember her by. She knew she wouldn't have too many years left, and she wanted her youngest grandchild to remember her fondly. It worked.
about 1 year ago
Deborah
If you were to ask my own boys what they received for Christmas last year or the year before...I'd bet they'd REALLY have to think about it. And in ten years...they'd really be stumped. But, in 2005 we surprised the kids in my big family with a trip to Disney together. They still talk about that. We could have gone anywhere...it was the memory of that time together that is still with them.
about 1 year ago
Emily
Oh, that is sooooo fantastic!!! It is about the moments and not the things!
about 1 year ago
Brandie
I think a lot of people just need to shift their view of memorable - I think a lot of people are like your parents Deborah - planning really elaborate things for the memories - and so busy planning the big things that they forget the little things can be powerful memories as well.
about 1 year ago
Deborah
Isn't that awesome??? :) :) :)
about 1 year ago
Regina Brett
You're right - it isn't in the big stuff. I've still never been to Disneyworld. Our best memories are the spontaneous moments of fun. Same for me as a kid. I don't remember one single Christmas gift I got, but remember staying up with my sister Mary til 3 a.m. making popcorn balls to put in all the stockings.
about 1 year ago
Deborah
Making it memorable sounds daunting. We cannot control what our children will remember...it's in the day to day stuff. The stuff that happens when we might not be paying attention. My own paretns would plan AMAZING vacations and my sister and I STILL talk about the inch worm crawling through my dad's meal or when my I swallowed a two inch trout bone. And had it stcuk in my throat. I think this reminds us it's in the everyday that we create memories and our hertiage.
about 1 year ago
Sprittibee
I love that quote that says "Cleaning the house while you have children at home is like shoveling the walk before it quits snowing." ;) That's my motto. So don't come over here with a white glove. I promise you'll get some dust! I keep hoping that one day, when the debts are paid, I'll be able to afford a maid! Until then, we do it when we can GET TO IT.
about 1 year ago
Emily
Awww ... I love these reminders. Just to be with them. My girls are growing up so fast ... don't they all?!?
about 1 year ago
Sara Sophia
Yes, yes and double yes. I keep telling myself that and still find myself nagging about the shoes on the floor anyway. The practice of truth is where I struggle.
about 1 year ago
Regina Brett
The dust bunnies can wait. The kids can't. They are gone so fast, and you end up longing for the days when you yelled at them to put their shoes away and clean their rooms.
about 1 year ago
Dawn Camp
When my mother-in-law comes to town, it puts it in perspective. She just sits and plays with the kids. It's hard sometimes to let go of the day-to-day and just spend time with them.
about 1 year ago
Regina Brett
Emily, I love that -- the need versus the noise. Life can be so noisy (kids too!) My dad used to always tell us, "You don't need that." Which applied to almost everything we wanted, but but he was right.
about 1 year ago
Regina Brett
One of the lessons in the book is All That Truly Matters in the End is That You Loved. Maybe love is being fully present, not always doing things but just being with our kids without other distractions going on.
about 1 year ago
Emily
Triage is a great metaphor - where's the need versus the noise!!!
about 1 year ago
Sprittibee
My kids know when I'm not THERE. ;) Even when I am present in body.
about 1 year ago
Regina Brett
I once worked as an Emergency Medical Technician and learned to triage, to find out who was wounded worst and take care of that person first, not the one screaming or complaining the most. With kids, you have to triage -- what needs addressed ASAP? You might not get to everything.
about 1 year ago
Tésa @ 2 Wired 2 Tired
This is so true. I often get so wrapped up in things that don't matter in the end, that I don't have enough time to sit down and just "be" with my children. It's always in the back of my mind and this is a great reminder to do so.
about 1 year ago
Regina Brett
It really is. That's what's so amazing about children. They naturally stay put in today and don't drift off into regrets of yesterday or fear of tomorrow, until they grow up.
about 1 year ago
Robyn
100% present is the key, isn't it?
about 1 year ago
Sara Sophia
Amen!
about 1 year ago
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- Tésa @ 2 Wired 2 Tired 17 comments
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Regina, I struggle with the lesson, "If you don't ask, you don't get." I'm horrible about asking for help or even for things I want. Do you feel like you are now any better at this? And do you have any advice for someone who finds this a seemingly impossible, but very important lesson to learn?
about 1 year ago
Deborah
That's good. Really good.
about 1 year ago
juliepippert
Regina, I hear you. I was actually thinking of a conversation from yesterday in which a friend's FB status was "Need to work, what will I do with kids today?" I offered that I could watch them. It seemed fitting. I learned definitely to ask "what will help" but then again, sometimes people hate that question and wish you didn't make them choose. So it's a subtle thing of knowing someone. You are someone who wants to be asked, others want specific offers. Or maybe it's a Southern thing LOL!!!
about 1 year ago
Regina Brett
Maybe you can say, How can I best help you? Or offer three possible options (that you'd like to do) and let them choose. Sometimes people offer something that they want to give, but won't really help you. When I was going through chemotherapy, someone offered to send gourmet meals over. I declined, because all I could eat was mashed potatoes and scrambled eggs. Someone told me, Treat people the way they want to be treated, not the way you want to treat them.
about 1 year ago
juliepippert
Hmm, pondering that. Emily, I agree, it feels like that for me, too. I am perplexed when I extend a hand and the other person has discomfort about accepting it, even if it's just an offer to watch kids for an hour so she can shop. I wonder about this discomfort.
about 1 year ago
Regina Brett
When I had breast cancer 12 years ago, I made a list of my Dream Team -- everyone I knew I could count on. I gave them each an assignment that fit them and helped me. If someone loved to cook, they were my chef. If someone loved to clean, they were on the crew to clean. Those who weren't good at anything brought me books and videos from the library. Maybe you have to match what you need with the person who has that ability to meet that need.
about 1 year ago
Emily
When my friend has cancer, it was so eye-opening to see how much people wanted to be asked for help. For many people, me included, it feels like a sign of true friendship to be called upon in a time of need.
about 1 year ago
Regina Brett
If someone always says no, that's a sign to ask someone else. One of my friends constantly let's me down, never shows up on time, can't be counted on to bring the dessert she promised to, etc. I had the choice to either let her go or accept her. I decided to love her as is, and to stop asking her to do what she obviously was unable to do. Go where the open door is. I count on people who can be counted. Mercy goes a long way, so does having a LOT of people in your life to ask.
about 1 year ago
Brandie
I know I can't always say yes, so I know others can't. Even though hearing no sucks. But I'd rather hear a no, sorry I can't do that for you right now, than have the person say yes (fully knowing they will never follow through) and finding out too late that was the situation. :(
about 1 year ago
juliepippert
Regina, a follow-up Q to this response: what did you do with a person, for example, who was a habitual no? Who and what did that person become to you?
about 1 year ago
Regina Brett
Start off with small things and ask more than one person. I have a deep fear of rejection so I hate to ask anyone for anything. Cancer knocked that out of me. I had to ask for help, and I gave people permission to say no, and gave myself permission to ask someone else after I heard a no back.
about 1 year ago
Brandie
I've been burned here - I've asked and been let down big time. I've also been made to feel guilty for even having to ask from some people. Well, I guess it was a lesson in who I could rely on. Now I have people I can ask and will jump through hoops to help me if they could - and I can not tell you how truly blessed I feel to have those people in my life.
about 1 year ago
Dawn Camp
Sara, I love that!
about 1 year ago
Sara Sophia
Ask and you shall recieve. Sometimes the gift that God wants to give you is in another pair of hands. The leading to ask is there---you just have to follow it.
about 1 year ago
Brandie
Sprittibee - that is amazing and wonderful! =)
about 1 year ago
Tésa @ 2 Wired 2 Tired
Wow! Congrats! That must be so exciting for you! I've had a few things happen in the past that have been positive results because I've asked, I just can't get over the fear & anxiety that comes with asking even though I've been proven wrong. I suppose it just takes practice and the more I do it the less I will feel nervous about it. Good luck with your trip! It sounds like it will be quite an event!
about 1 year ago
Robyn
Sprittibee I love that example and I am like your husband, still picking my jaw up off of the floor! God definitely provides, and *I think* He wants us to ask for what we need - of Him and of each other.
about 1 year ago
Sprittibee
I had to start asking recently when I wanted to do things that were impossible for me as far as blogging was concerned. I wanted to take a trip from Texas to DC for a conference and we have no money or way to do it. I asked GM for a loaner vehicle and THEY SAID YES! My husband is still shocked. Now I'm just raising the gas, travel and food money to go... but that one QUESTION saved me $1,200 in car rental fees.
about 1 year ago
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- Brandie 9 comments
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Number 30 is time heals almost everything. Give time time. Any advice for those of us who aren't feeling healing with some things in our lives yet? And you are feeling like time isn't doing it's job?
about 1 year ago
Emily
Oh, Julie, I hear you.
about 1 year ago
Regina Brett
It really does take an act of faith to wait. I tend to want action to solve everything instantly and if it doesn't, I try more action. Sometimes life calls for waiting. The seeds do it. The leaves do it. It looks like nothing is happening, then months later, bouquets and apples and berries.
about 1 year ago
juliepippert
You know, a loss...that's grief. In a way, though, I envy it compared to never having had, still not having, and feeling, at times, a lack of something crucial not there that is not Loss but is lost. If that makes any sense.
about 1 year ago
Regina Brett
What I do is pray for healing, really ask God to bless the person, situation, then trust it's going to be fine. I do what I know to do then really have to surrender the timetable.
about 1 year ago
Sprittibee
I would say that if you are in the pain, reach out - to someone who has been there. Also, stay busy with the things that matter to you - especially if you are grieving the loss of someone - so that you won't lose your own will to move forward.
about 1 year ago
Robyn
Julie I struggle with this myself. I agree with you on perspective. I'm still learning how to pray about it and turn it over. I've learned through prayer, time and perspective to celebrate my father's life rather than soak myself in the grief of loss. Some days are easier than others.
about 1 year ago
juliepippert
I go back and forth about healing and forgiveness. There are some things that, for lack of better description, re-injure with some constancy, requiring constant re-healing. I know what Oprah thinks about this, but I'm not sure I agree with her. I think time provides perspective. And there's no telling how much perspective -- time -- will be needed.
about 1 year ago
Tésa @ 2 Wired 2 Tired
I know what you mean Brandie. There was a time in my life where I thought that nothing could heal me. Even as time passed I thought I would never smile or laugh again. But thankfully I was proven wrong and I am now on the other side. Surprising now to me I find myself laughing & smiling every day. I know for me when I focused on how much time had passed and I wasn't feeling better, it made me feel worse. Every day, every step, and every breath is one more closer to that healing and you'll get there.
about 1 year ago
Sara Sophia
For me its realizing that MY time for healing---isn't how it works. It really is giving time TIME to do its work. We don't know what we need like God does. For some it may take a year to heal from a life situation---others 10. So Regina says it perfectly; give time time.
about 1 year ago
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- littlemama86 15 comments
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Since becoming a wife and mother a little under two years ago I've had to rethink my idea of who I am and what makes me happy. I've found joy in the kitchen staring at a well matched set of mixing bowls, nicely nested together and looking so clean and comfortable. And I've learned the agony of not getting a full nights rest in two years. A lot of what I based my self image on just 36 short months ago is no longer true. I guess my question for the more experienced women is, did your indentiy become nebulous after children? When did you feel yourself coming back " into your own" so to speak?
about 1 year ago
MammaLoves
I think I know myself better now that I am a mom. I certainly have a better sense of humor. It took a few years though. I feel like two is the magic age. Once my boys turned two I felt like I had a little more time to even think about what made me happy and pursue those things rather than being in total survivor mode. My priorities definitely changed (though please know I need to be reminded of them from time to time).
about 1 year ago
Robyn
Yes, Emily. Exactly. The days I feel guilty over not doing enough or being enough and the days when my world seems completely out of sync. If I step back when those feelings begin and just take a deep breath and shift my thinking to "I am God's child", the "not enoughs" go away.
about 1 year ago
Emily
Robyn, what's also so great about what you're saying is that we need to bring that same kindness and understanding to ourselves now too. There always seem to be things that we beat ourselves up about - and as impossible as it might be on some days, we need to be our own best mothers - to ourselves.
about 1 year ago
Robyn
It is and I'm not really sure I would have listened like I should have to anyone else. I thought I knew it all, I'd read the books for months! I laugh at myself now, but just want to go back and hug her (me).
about 1 year ago
Sprittibee
Loved your comment about writing a letter to your younger mom self, Robyn. I was nursing my 14 month old to sleep before I got online just now. I was stroking his sweet curls and watching him sleep... knowing that in just a few short months these moments would be gone. It's so hard to explain that to a young mom in the thick of things for the first time.
about 1 year ago
Emily
I love the sea worthy idea, Julie! And Tesa, reading at the gym when the kids were really little ... love love love that!!! Dawn, your photographs are inspired - you found a calling!
about 1 year ago
Tésa @ 2 Wired 2 Tired
When my two were little (they are 14 months apart) there was always someone needing to be changed, fed, or put to sleep. It was so time consuming and exhausting that I had no time for me. Once I discovered my gym had a wonderful and cheap daycare, I would take them for an hour a day a couple of times a week and it was amazing. To be truthful, sometimes I didn't even workout, but read a book or magazine for that hour. Now that they are older, at 3 & 4, they play together all the time and I have a few minutes here and there during the day to myself and really am starting to feel like my own person again.
about 1 year ago
Dawn Camp
For years I didn't have any sort of hobby. Now I love blogging and photography. I know those things can keep me from my kids, but I can also use them as a means to give to them, too.
about 1 year ago
juliepippert
It feels nebulous but it's a transition. I got to calling it a developmental spurt. You might feel disrupted as the new pieces shift into place, but with time you realize they do. Now that my kids are older (elementary school) I realize my identity and relationship between me and my kids, and me and the rest of my life will keep shifting. So I feel a bit more sea worthy, I guess you could say, better able to ride the waves. When they are babies, you can steal time, is how it felt, but now that they are older, I can choose to make time for me and feel all right about it. I'd say that transition came about the time the youngest was able to walk, talk, and feed herself. Hmm, that might also have been around when I stopped nursing. A little more independent. For them and me.
about 1 year ago
Robyn
I think over the years, I've changed a great deal. Who I thought I was is not at all who I actually am. {oh my, that's deep!}
about 1 year ago
Emily
I remember thinking I had to have everything figured out when my kids were really young, and then realizing that I just needed to relax and let things happen in their time. Young kids need so much attention, and that was good and wonderful, but it wasn't until my girls were close to 4 and 2 that I started to catch my breath and feel a bit more of the whole me was showing up.
about 1 year ago
Brandie
For me, my identity was nebulous (here's where I admit I just had to look that word up!) before having children. I think when I got married and became a mom (both in a relatively sort time period) I tried to hard to act the role I thought mom/wife was supposed to be. Then that got old. Some days I'm still searching for parts of who I am, but I think I mostly I know. It's just trusting myself to be who I am that I struggle with now. If that makes sense at all?
about 1 year ago
Robyn
Yes, I wish I could write a letter to my younger mom self and tell her not to fret so much. To just enjoy the moments.
about 1 year ago
Sprittibee
Having a third baby in my late 30's has been a real change for me. I was much more worried about things with the first two. I'm still not getting sleep - but it's because of him. My older set are in the middle of Junior High. They tell me I'm parenting him like he's a grandkid. I guess so - I just cherish it more as I get older... and I'm not as worried about my appearance, or other pressures that used to plague me as a younger mom.
about 1 year ago
Robyn
What a wonderful question. For me, each stage has held an "into my own" feeling. But honestly, more recently I've felt more connected. Most of that comes from taking time to enjoy the small stuff - like time just playing with my son, reading stories together, and just "being."
about 1 year ago
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- Sprittibee 6 comments
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Yesterday one of our authors at The Homeschool Post wrote about interruptions... and she used the most awesome QUOTE that puts it in perspective:
I spent years complaining about all the interruptions that occurred,
keeping me from my work.
Then one day I realized the interruptions
WERE my work.
It's the journey that is the most important... all those busy things we do - with and for our kids - and our attitude about them, that matters.
about 1 year ago
Tésa @ 2 Wired 2 Tired
What a great quote. Really makes me think about my priorities.
about 1 year ago
Dawn Camp
I love that quote!
about 1 year ago
Robyn
Oh I do love that quote, too. Perfect!
about 1 year ago
Brandie
So so true! (also, can you link me to the homeschool post? I'm curious and want to check it out now!)
about 1 year ago
Sara Sophia
We deal in interruptions. That's Motherhood. Amen and Amen
about 1 year ago
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- Jacquie Chak 9 comments
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Regina, a recent study revealed that single mothers are on the rise - significantly. I was raised by a single mother and I know you raised your daughter on your own, so what would you say to moms who are juggling so many priorities?
about 1 year ago
Becki
Regina, I love that. I'm going to start doing that.
about 1 year ago
Robyn
Oh how lovely, Regina. When my son was a baby, I would pray over him as I bathed him. It became our special time each day together with God. He still prays as he takes his bath!
about 1 year ago
Regina Brett
Someone told me to pray over my daughter every night once she was asleep and ask God to heal anything you said or did that hurt her. I felt like she was completely in God's hands, which could "make it all better."
about 1 year ago
Sprittibee
God knows what our days are like. He knows how demanding babies are... and how busy we are... and what we need. My prayer is that he helps me to prioritize and simplify - to Live on Purpose... let go of whatever is nonessential (like you said).
about 1 year ago
Jacquie Chak
That is a brillant visual for moms everywhere to process.
about 1 year ago
Sara Sophia
Wow. I'm copying and pasting that. Brilliant.
about 1 year ago
Regina Brett
The biggest priority is you, the mom. As the flight attendant reminds us, put the oxygen on you first, then your child. Then the next priority is the child -- the basic needs first, food, shelter, safety, clothes. Some days that's all you might get to, and that's okay. I learned to trim away the non-essentials.
about 1 year ago
Emily
Oh, such a fantastic question!!!
about 1 year ago
Sara Sophia
I was raised, and homeschooled, by a single Mom. She gave us more than she really had to give---and I feel so blessed to have my husband for support. I honestly don't know how she did it!
about 1 year ago
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- Regina Brett 5 comments
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Someone once told me interruptions are Divine assignments
about 1 year ago
Deborah
Love that Dawn!!!! If given the choice between justice and mercy....I'm hoping for mercy, too:)
about 1 year ago
Dawn Camp
Sometimes instead of punishing my kids when they deserve it, I tell them I'm going to show them some mercy, like God does for us. It's a big responsibility to realize that as parents, how we treat our kids may be seen by them as a model of how God treats us.
about 1 year ago
Sara Sophia
That is why responding with Grace is so much easier than kicking and screaming. Know He has a plan for you.
about 1 year ago
Sprittibee
I love that. ;) Writing it down. I also heard that each obstacle we face is God's way of squeezing his grape to see what type of juice comes out... bitter or sweet.
about 1 year ago
Emily
Regina, I'm going to have to spend some time with this idea!
about 1 year ago
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- Regina Brett 9 comments
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Another lesson to consider is, If You Don't Ask, You Don't Get. It's okay to ask for help parenting, to depend on aunts and uncles and neighbors and friends. We don't have to be SuperMoms.
about 1 year ago
Becki
This is a big, big lesson for me. I recently read that there are two kinds of people: Askers and Guessers. Askers ask for what they want or need, fully aware that they might be turned down, and they're okay with that possibility. Guessers won't ask for something unless they're pretty sure the answer will be "yes," and they're crushed if it's not. I've always been a Guesser, but I'm trying to learn to be an Asker.
about 1 year ago
Deborah
My own dad likes to say "we're coming to get the boys so that they can get escape their parents". I LOVE that. My parents and boys have such a pure love....without me. It's one of my greatest joys in life....watching my folks with my boys.
about 1 year ago
Robyn
Deborah - that is so true. It took me a while to learn to let them have that relationship without me getting in the middle of it. As I stood back, I watched it grow.
about 1 year ago
Robyn
Yes, I love that parable. It causes you to wonder from time to time, what blessings has God tried to give me that I ignored.
about 1 year ago
Deborah
Such a gift that someone else can do it differently and it can still be okay. Another perspective. My parents can do things with my boys in a way that honors their relationship. With me out of the picture. I love that.
about 1 year ago
Sara Sophia
Its like that parable I'm sure everyone has heard at church. There is a flood and a man gets stuck on a roof, a raft, boat, and helicopter each come by--and the man says "no thanks" to their rescue efforts...because God will save him. He eventually drowns and when he gets to heaven he asks the Lord why he wasn't saved---and God says, "Well, I sent you a raft, a boat and a helicopter!!!" Sometimes what comes from the Lord is something we have to reach out and take.
about 1 year ago
Regina Brett
Dawn, that is so true. So many people stepped up to "parent" my daughter. Sometimes I merely had to get out of the way and let them do it. I often wanted to "correct" the way they did things then realized, I need to let others love my child the way they can love her best.
about 1 year ago
Dawn Camp
I was really blessed when my older kids were younger. I lived close to my parents, and also to my grandmother and two of her sisters, my great aunts. We called them the Golden Girls. My dad is still here, although we live about 80 miles apart now across Atlanta. The others have passed on. I'm so glad my kids had the time with them. On the flip side, I had friends with small children whose friendships were strengthened because they had to rely on each other for help. I had family that helped me, but I sometimes felt left out with the friends.
about 1 year ago
Heather
Great Advice!! I learned early on parenting & from something I always heard when I was growing up: "It takes a village to raise children!" We all try our best to help each other out not just through relatives but in my community, church family, and friends as well!
about 1 year ago
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- Emily 9 comments
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Regina, could you talk about how your life has changed since you published the article that became such a sensation? Some lessons there for us?!
about 1 year ago
Deborah
Me too.
about 1 year ago
Sara Sophia
Wow. Just, wow. I am humbled.
about 1 year ago
Regina Brett
Your mom is a wise one. When I had cancer, I was so scared of going bald, of losing my breasts, of being sick from chemo. They all happened, and they really weren't so terrible. I got to live. I call my fake boobs Thelma & Louise and keep a picture of me bald in my wallet to remind myself TODAY is a GREAT day no matter how frizzy my hair looks etc.
about 1 year ago
Dawn Camp
My mom always told me that the things you're really afraid of usually aren't as bad as you think.
about 1 year ago
Sprittibee
I heard a kitchen quote that I love that fits this topic well... "Always use a bigger bowl than you think you'll need." :)
about 1 year ago
Regina Brett
Sara - you are so sweet! The lessons came about by many teachers. One of the greatest teachers was cancer. It pruned away a lot of needless worries and made me confront big fears and realize they weren't all so terrifying after all.
about 1 year ago
Sara Sophia
Another quote to copy and paste:) Regina....I'm ordering a copy of your book today!
about 1 year ago
Emily
LOVE lesson #22!!!!!!
about 1 year ago
Regina Brett
The 50 life lessons took off in a column first, then as a book. I keep practicing Lesson 22: overprepare and go with the flow. You truly do have to go with the flow and not try to manage it or dam it up or stop the river. Life really is a wonderful ride -- and I'm not in charge of it!
about 1 year ago
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- Sprittibee 10 comments
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The paying off the credit card one on your list hit me square in the face. ;) Forget stepping on toes. That's a hard one in today's economy when people are in flux with job losses and needs that can't be met. Do you have some advice for 'learning to live within your means'?
about 1 year ago
Brandie
Julie - as far as living within your means being a moving target - this is precisely why dh and I do a new budget every single month. January is not like July, July is not like October, October is not like December - when you set a plan each month it's easier to move with the ebb and flow of things. There is no average month, so if at the start of the year you make the average monthly plan that you intend to follow for the next 12 months, well, IMO, you are essentially setting yourself up for disaster. Because kids/adults get sick, gas prices change, jobs get lost, jobs get found, school starts, birthdays/holidays happen and all of those can be moving targets hard to estimate for August way back in January, ya know?
about 1 year ago
Brandie
Deborah and MommaLoves - I think it's both actually. We think we're special so we buy, but then buying becomes what makes us special, so IMO it's a vicious cycle that keep feeding itself. In terms of how I think parents are adopting it - I don't think they are buying to make themselves special - I think to parents - buying = loves, so if you love your child a lot you will buy lots for them. Which again starts a viscous cycle in that you buy to show love, child expects things from you and if you don't buy them something they don't feel loved (or special) so you run out and buy them something even bigger the next chance you get to make up for it and prove you love them that much, etc, etc, etc, etc. So kids start to expect it and parents feel forced to keep doing it. That's just how I see it.
about 1 year ago
juliepippert
I think the current challenge is how to alter your lifestyle when cost of living increases faster than income, which might even drop. We are exactly one step behind right now because hubs income has dropped faster than mine has risen and cost of living has increased. It requires constant re-budgeting. So "living within your means" is a great concept and I'd love to see "living within your means when that is a moving target"!!!!!!
about 1 year ago
MammaLoves
Deborah I think there is some of that too. It's all very interesting. And something to be conscious of, no?
about 1 year ago
Deborah
Or does spending correlate to NOT feeling special? We purchase our *special*? Hmmmm????
about 1 year ago
MammaLoves
I wonder if you're on to something Brandie. A whole generation of children grew up under a parenting model that told them how special and deserving they were and while I agree that all people are, we now have a generation of young adults who think they should be rewarded just for showing up and not for hard work. I wonder if there is an official correlation between that thinking and our credit crisis? Certainly the parents raising those children must have adopted that thought in their own spending.
about 1 year ago
Becki
Brandie, I think the same thing when I see those commercials.
about 1 year ago
Deborah
I think living UNDER your means is key. If that could catch on....then we'd have a real revolution!!!!
about 1 year ago
Brandie
One of my most favorite sayings now is "Act your wage." Also, dh and I laugh about those new Chase commercials where you can text in to see your balance ... it is our opinion that if you have to get your balance in the middle of the mall to see if you can keep shopping or not, you probably shouldn't be shopping! Also, you have to let go of the "but I work hard so I totally deserve it and even though I cant' really afford it Im going to get it anyway because darn-it I'm special and I should have it" (not that I have any experience with that line of thinking - and yes, I"m saying that really sarcastically because I struggle with it so much!!)
about 1 year ago
Sara Sophia
My husband and I paid off and cut up all but one emergency credit card this past month. We can use debit cards for transactions that require the use of a card---and can save ACTUAL MONEY for emergencies. Now we pay as we go for what we need. Its liberating and the temptation to overspend is gone. If we can't pay cash, we don't do it.
about 1 year ago
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- Tésa @ 2 Wired 2 Tired 2 comments
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I love Lesson #21 - Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special. This is such a live in the moment statement. One that I truly hope to pass on to my children. My husband is wonderful at living in the moment (almost to a fault!) and I am a planner. While I can see the benefits to both worlds I hope to live in the moment more. Anyone have any advice for someone who comes from a long line of planners trying to change?
about 1 year ago
Robyn
I love this Deborah. When my son says something negative, I ask him to follow it with a positive. Amazing how you can see the wheels turning and the outlook shifting.
about 1 year ago
Deborah
Learn to be grateful. Each day. Write it down. Pick three things. It'll change your perspective and then change your life. I've been doing it for more than a decade? Holy. But, you see the special in everything.
about 1 year ago
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- Sprittibee 13 comments
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Another favorite of mine on your top ten was the chocolate - I have to agree with you there. The darker, the better. What are your favorite chocolates?
Mine are: Choxie Dark Chocolate Truffles, Godiva Raspberry Dark Chocolate Bars, Double Chocolate Milano Cookies, ... and I love a chocolate chip cookie with milk, or a glass of chocolate milk made with Nesquick!
How about you?
about 1 year ago
Dawn Camp
If you want to save a buck, Publix brand are really good. :)
about 1 year ago
Deborah
Haribo? My gummi of choice. :)
about 1 year ago
Sara Sophia
Yes you are Dawn, yes you are;)
about 1 year ago
Dawn Camp
Deborah, I'm a gummy addict.
about 1 year ago
Robyn
Oh yum on all of this chocolate talk. Definitely going to have to have a chocolate party at Relevant. :D
about 1 year ago
Deborah
who said gummi bears? Come sit next to me. :)
about 1 year ago
Sara Sophia
Oh my goodness, I need to meet this woman! (and yes of course...we chocolate lovers have a tie that bindsP)
about 1 year ago
Dawn Camp
Heather, I have a bag of Dove peanut butter/chocolate hidden in my closet next to the rest of the second bag of gummy bears you sent me. ;-)
about 1 year ago
Deborah
Dove Promises are heavenly. Kilwin's chocolate fudge should come with a warning label.
about 1 year ago
Emily
Can I come too!?!? I'll bring chocolate from our local maker (she opened her shop after seeing the movie Chocolat - don't you love that?!).
about 1 year ago
Sara Sophia
(Heather. You are my soul-sister. I love you. We need a chocolate date for Relevant :P)
about 1 year ago
Robyn
I loved that one, too! I'm a simple milk chocolate kinda girl raising a dark chocolate lover. Makes for super chocolatey chocolate chip cookies. :
about 1 year ago
laytonfamily
any chocolate with peanut butter is a friend of mine!
about 1 year ago
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- laytonfamily 7 comments
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I like #4 - trying to explain that to my hubs so he is not so hard on himself all the time and can enjoy himself - faults and all.
about 1 year ago
Becki
I see this in myself, and in my eldest child.
about 1 year ago
Deborah
Hmmm....I sometimes see this in my husband and most certainly in my youngest.
about 1 year ago
Sara Sophia
Oh! I am calligraphy-ing that onto a plaque for my sons room! Perfect!
about 1 year ago
laytonfamily
oh so tough on themselves! We taught our son Galatians 6:9 and you can sometimes catch him repeating it to himself, "don't give up". I love that!
about 1 year ago
Sara Sophia
My oldest son reflects that as well. Every mistake is magnified in his eyes and he just wants to give up. i want to empower him to keep trying and have JOY in the journey!
about 1 year ago
laytonfamily
I think a lot of men are - I see it in my 7yr old boy already!
about 1 year ago
Sara Sophia
I know! I am ordering this book specifically to read with my hubs. He is SO hard on himself:(
about 1 year ago
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- Sprittibee 1 comment
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I can't wait to read your book. Thanks so much for chatting with us! I have to go eat a hotdog and chili with my mama before the baby wakes from his nap. ;) xoxo to everyone! Look me up at www.sprittibee.com or www.hsbapost.com later. My link was not on the sidebar.
about 1 year ago
Emily
I'm adding your links right now!!!!!!
about 1 year ago
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- Emily 8 comments
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Oh, this has been the most wonderful conversation!!! I can't wait to reread the ENTIRE conversation again tonight! There's just such rich and wonderful material here!! Thank you everyone for being a part of this fantastic Talk!!!!!!
And now to announce the winner of Regina's book ....
The winner is Sara Sophia!!
Oh, how perfect is that?!? Right after you said you would order it! LOVE how that worked out!!! Ask and you shall receive!!!
about 1 year ago
juliepippert
And it works out so beautifully -- congrats Sara! What a spectacular conversation with amazing people!
about 1 year ago
Robyn
Congratulations! I know what you mean about the smile - mine has been constant, too! This has been a wonderful conversation. Thank you so much to Emily for hosting it. And to Regina for providing all of her wonderful insights. I can't wait to read your book. I've just ordered it for my Kindle!
about 1 year ago
laytonfamily
way to go Sara!! Can't wait to check out this book!!
about 1 year ago
Regina Brett
Thanks for all your great lessons! Hope you share more of them with me at www.godneverblinks.com All the best!
about 1 year ago
Dawn Camp
Congrats, Sara! What an awesome conversation we've had!
about 1 year ago
Jacquie Chak
Enjoy Sara! It's amazing how the right words can have such an impact on our lives. Regina- many thanks to you for inspiring us all with your wisdom and wit!
about 1 year ago
Sara Sophia
WOOO HOOO!! Wow, praise the Lord---my face hurts from smiling. I haven't stopped this entire conversation!
about 1 year ago
Brandie
Congrats Sara! =)
about 1 year ago
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- Sara Sophia 2 comments
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Thank you all so much for sharing your hearts here--Regina, you are nothing short of an inspiration. Your life lessons are truly a gift you've given us.
about 1 year ago
Sprittibee
Really enjoyed the chat. :)
about 1 year ago
Emily
So well said! Thank you, thank you, thank you, Regina, and the wonderful co-hosts. Your heart and thoughtfulness and insights and ideas have just blown me away.
about 1 year ago
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- MammaLoves 0 comments
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So sorry I missed participating today. Work is always getting in the way. ;-) Can't wait to read the posts!
about 1 year ago
We're talking about taking care of ourselves and the life lessons that are most important to us. Regina Brett caused a sensation when she wrote a column for the Cleveland Plain Dealer listing her life lessons. Her top ten life lessons are: 1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good. 2. When in doubt, just take the next small step. 3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. 4. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does. 5. Pay off your credit cards every month. 6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree. 7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone. 8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it. 9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck. 10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
Sprittibee
The bodies part is what got to me. Man, that must have been difficult. Did you have to deal with grieving families?
Emily
Happy Birthday, Regina!!!!!!!
Robyn
I am truly inspired by Regina's story! And Regina, happy belated birthday!
Jacquie Chak
Hello gals! Looking forward to talking with Regina and you!
Sara Sophia
Hi everyone!
Tésa @ 2 Wired 2 Tired
Hi everyone! Excited for this talk!
Sprittibee
I have no idea how to log in. I'm a dork.
Robyn
Just a few more minutes until the talk.
Sara Sophia
Me too.....sixteen minutes:D
Dawn Camp
Woo hoo! Counting down until 1:00. ;-)
Emily
Agreed, Robyn!
Robyn
Emily, I'm looking forward to the talk on Wednesday. Regina's story is inspirational!