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is dreaming of a beach
It used to be that no one talked about postpartum depression. Thankfully those days are behind us and we have each other. Join a group mom bloggers who have LIVED this topic, having gone through it themselves and blogged about it extensively. We'll talk about how to get through PPD or help someone else get through it, issues on your mind (there's been a lot of talk about breastfeeding while on medication, for example) and give each other all the love and support we possibly can. Leading the conversation will be Katherine Stone, the author of Postpartum Progress, the most widely read blog on postpartum depression, and a group of really wonderful mom bloggers. Bring your questions, share your experience and find out about the great new resources that exist!
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Postpartum Sadness, Depression and Anxiety
Sep 29, 2010 Wednesday, 1:00pm EST - Add as Favorites
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TALK HOSTS:
Category:BODY AND SOUL
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- Katherine Stone 22 comments
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What are some of the symptoms you had when you suffered PPD or anxiety? It's important to see that these illnesses are not one-size-fits-all.
about 1 year ago
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- Married2PPD 16 comments
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My wife and I have just had our first baby, my son who is now two months old. She goes into very intense emotional breakdowns due to her PPD, and my support doesnt seem to be helping. What advice would you give as to the best ways to support her until all this passes?
about 1 year ago
michelle
all i wanted to hear was " i am here for you, i support you, you are not alone and you will get better..."
about 1 year ago
Katherine Stone
Did someone recommend Karen Kleiman's book "The Postpartum Husband" yet? It was written specifically for men whose wives/partners are going through PPD. I would definitely check it out.
about 1 year ago
Kim Rogers
great point alexis, that's another thing my husband would say "it's me and you against PPD" - like we were a team.
about 1 year ago
Kim Rogers
oh, and be encouraged that you will get your wife/partner/best friend back!! she won't resent you and be an emotional wreck forever :(
about 1 year ago
Alexis Lesa
You're not the problem. She's not the problem. PPD is the problem. If you can really internalize that and make it your mantra, you'll make it through this.
about 1 year ago
Married2PPD
Thank you for that last comment Alexis. Even though I know in my head the things she says sometimes are not what she means to say, they can get pretty nasty and it has been a struggle not to take it to heart and feel like im the problem.
about 1 year ago
Kim Rogers
My husband kept telling me "I would still marry you" "you are a great mom" I would apologize for being defective and he would assure me that I wasn't . He also took over most of the baby duties on the weekends and every Wednesday night I went out to dinner or to a book store by myself. Those things helped me a lot. It's hard for the partners :(
about 1 year ago
Alexis Lesa
I feel for you...it's not easy trying to support a woman with PPD. But I echo what everyone else has said, and also would like to add that what helped me most was when my husband did kind things without asking and without expecting me to notice. For example, he'd often take care of night feedings for my son so I could sleep. I know it sounds like a lot to ask for you to just do these things without any recognition or thanks, but if I'm being honest that's what made the most difference in my day. Also, really, really know that PPD can make women say things they don't mean. It's awful to feel like you can't control the words that are coming out of your mouth, but it's even more awful to think that the people you love might believe those words.
about 1 year ago
lauren-hale
When I was on Zoloft it knocked me out within 20 minutes of taking it. I began to take it at night right before I went to bed so I would sleep the side effect off.
about 1 year ago
Married2PPD
Yes, I have been trying to remind myself its the PPD and to not take it personally when she vents my way. Reguardless, it has generated alot of stress for both of us.
about 1 year ago
Kathy Morelli
Hi - well, yes , suggesting that she see a doctor & a therapist are good starting points..perhaps you could both go for 2 sessions or so to help get a support plan together....it must ne stressful for you as well...
about 1 year ago
Married2PPD
Yes, I am a dad, and feeling pretty outnumbered, lol. I will look into the dad project, I was unaware of it. My wife went in to consult her OB with her concerns, and the prescribed her zoloft. We were not seeing any results as it made her very drowsy and want to sleep all day. It didnt seem to help, and she wasnt able to function very well.
about 1 year ago
lauren-hale
I would also refer you to http://www.daddysdown.com. (full disclosure: It's my husband's blog) He has been through hell and back with me and I know he would be more than happy to discuss his experience in depth with you. We don't hold anything back about what we went through.
about 1 year ago
Katherine Stone
Thanks for mentioning that Amber. Plus, Postpartum Support International hosts a once monthly free call just for dads to get information and support. Find out more here: http://postpartum.net/Get-Help/PSI-Chat-with-an-Expert.aspx#chats_for_men
about 1 year ago
Amber Koter
The Postpartum Dads Project may be a great starting point for you, in terms of support your wife and coping yourself: http://postpartumdadsproject.org/. Good for you for being here and seeking help to find the best way to be supportive!
about 1 year ago
Katherine Stone
So happy to have a dad here. Assuming you are a dad, or perhaps another mom, which is great too. Has your wife seen a doctor?
about 1 year ago
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Katherine Stone
Oh, and the worry that every time my husband left something horrible would happen and he'd never come back. And the lack of focus - I actually drove through stop signs more than once.
about 1 year agomichelle
Constant worry, sweating, tears, racing heart, loss of appetite, nausea, no energy or motivation, and inability to feel able to just sit down.
about 1 year agoDiana
Lauren-hale, I am paranoid too. I always close all the windows when the baby is crying. I think the neighbors will call Social services and report me for something. I don't know what but it freaks me out. I know I am a great mom but I always worry about what everyone else thinks.
about 1 year agoValerie
Heart racing was the biggest thing. Followed by short fuse.
about 1 year agolauren-hale
Oh, I forgot to mention the paranoia that everyone that could see me (regardless of where they were actually looking) knew that I was a horrible mother. They all judged me. I closed the blinds in our home and refused to leave the house. I would peek out the blinds to make sure no one was outside or across the street to go get the mail. (This was after my first - the paranoia did not return as a symptom with my second)
about 1 year agoDeborah
The anxiety was overwhelming. I wouldn't shower because I couldn't leave the baby. Worried to an extreme. Had a constant fear that my husband would drop the baby coming down the stairs (he never did).
about 1 year agoKatherine Stone
I didn't cry as much. My problems were not being able to eat, not being able to go back to sleep after I got up with the baby, and having intrusive (scary) thoughts about harming my child. Also, I felt like I was an awful mother who would never be any good at it, and that my baby would never love me.
about 1 year agoNicole
Not sleeping! I know that with a newborn, sleep is almost non-existent, but I didn't sleep at all! I had this terrible rage and resentment towards my husband and even the baby. I had horrible thoughts that would scare me. I couldn't leave the house and when I did, I felt as though I was being watched. Depressed, lifeless, I felt as though everything I was doing was wrong. Couldn't get into the back to school routine with my older child, I had no interest in him. No interest in sex. It was as if I was just going through the day to day tasks with no emotions or feelings.
about 1 year agoAmber Koter
My personal symptoms included hopelessness, anger, detachment, intense anxiety, inability to be alone, insomnia, and complete disdain for motherhood. I felt incredible guilt and shame and experienced my childbirth as traumatic and because it wasn't as expected as my own failure. Later, I became obsessed with everything around my son's eating and sleeping. The depression and anxiety took a while, as well as did bonding with my son. The longest lasting symptoms for me were the obsessions. Being completely "me" and normal took a long time, but was SO worth it! The interesting thing for me (and I hear for many moms) is that the first 80% of recovery is fairly quick once effective treatment is begun. The last 20% can take some patience...don't lose hope and keep working towards it. As Kimberly of "Make Mommy Go Something..." says, "It will blow your socks off" to be a well mama!
about 1 year agomelinda
@ Victoria....my kids are so angry that I can not remember ANYTHING! They will say "Mom this is the 5th time I have told you" and my husband has nothing left to give me. He has been dealing with the brunt of this for over a year and is emotionally exhausted. But this "foggy" brain ....I just can't take this much longer!
about 1 year agoMel
Like I was a shell of my former self. And I was paralyzed with worry and anxiety, and even the simplest tasks (making a bottle, getting dressed, wiping off a counter, etc.) felt like marathon running: impossible and exceedingly difficult.
about 1 year agoVictoria Mason
@karenebayne I had that too the second time around- I was obsessed with SIDS. @melinda the foggy brain thing both times as well. It made me so frustrated and was equally frustrating for my spouse.
about 1 year agoDiana
I have no energy by 3pm. I cry at the drop of a pin. I usually cry between 5-9pm. Sometimes it is nightly and other times it is every 3 days or so. But once I finish crying I feel great. Could this be a nervous breakdown?
about 1 year agoKaren Bayne
Thanks for saying anxiety. That really was the overwhelming symptom I experienced. I was constantly afraid of the baby dying - of the baby dying if I left him for a moment, an hour, if I took a shower, etc, etc. It consumed me for months.
about 1 year agomelinda
Did anyone else have this "foggy" brain thing and being very forgetful? I am about going CRAZY just from these 2 things!
about 1 year agoJanna
i had and still do at times, real bad derealization... My psych says it is a defense mechanism... that scares me sometimes and she said to not pay it any attention... One thing I hate about anxiety is loss of confidence in yourself,, I always doubt myself,, I used to be confident and strong and now I am more vulnerable... I am much stronger than 8 months ago but still weak... SHEER FEAR of everything..
about 1 year agoVictoria Mason
Aside from the immense sadness and crying I felt really restless. Unsatisfied and highly irritable. With my first child I got really violent feeling towards people I didn't even know. I wanted to ram people with my car or would yell at perfect strangers. I am not like that at all normally and this side of me was so bizarre. Insomnia too. The second time around I had panic attacks and felt hopeless. My brain wouldn't settle. I couldn't calm myself down for anything.
about 1 year agoKathy Morelli
Just very very depressed crying, exhausted, feeling worthless, useless, stupid, incompetent, like a BAD mother, what else??? Goodness, just like a NOBODY!! And you know I WAS a SOMEBODY! I was/am SOMEBODY'S MOTHER! i
about 1 year agoAlexis Lesa
That's such a good point. For me: huge mood swings, meaning euphoric happiness one moment, then blinding rage the next. Also, inability to focus, loss of sex drive, apathy, emotional overeating, hopelessness, greatly exaggerated periods of introspection (to the point of not living my actual life, but only dealing with things that were going on in my head), heightened sensitivity to criticism, crying jags that would last hours, intense fatigue that would prevent me from moving sometimes.
about 1 year agoAmber Koter
Amen! While my symptoms began literally at childbirth, I have a college girlfriend whose first pregnancy and postpartum were blissful. After her second child, she felt great again...until 6 months postpartum when she began to experience symptoms of PPOCD and eventually intense depression and anxiety. Everything from onset to symptoms and certainly treatment options are unique to the woman.
about 1 year agolauren-hale
I struggled with Postpartum OCD, something not many women are familiar with. I had intrusive thoughts and would compulsively brush my hair, clean, frantically cook, etc, when these thoughts would race through my head. I rarely cried. My pulse was always rapid, blood pressure was high, racing thoughts, over-anxiety about What if's.., panic attacks, a lot of symptoms not normally associated with "Depression" which is why it's so important to acknowledge the different variations! Good question!
about 1 year agomelinda
Tired, withdrawn, agitated, cloudy feeling in my brain, can't stay on task long, very forgetful, anxiety, do not want to be around people, emotional highs and lows, etc.
about 1 year ago