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can't believe how fast it goes
Kim West, the Sleep Lady, will lead a conversation on getting our kids to sleep through the night. Kim is a licensed clinical social worker and, over the last fifteen years, she has helped thousands of tired parents all over the world learn to listen to their intuition, recognize their child’s important cues and behaviors, and gently create changes that promote and preserve his or her healthy sleep habits. Post your questions here!
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The Sleep Lady Shares Her Secrets for Getting Kids to Sleep Through the Night
Nov 01, 2010 Monday, 1:00pm EST - Add as Favorites
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Category:FAMILY
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- NotQuiteSusie 27 comments
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So before I get wrapped up listening to-well, reading- Kim's advice, I want to include my issue with my son: We co-sleep, which I love, and he's still nursing, which I am trying to end at this point (again, he's 14 months, and I've decided its no longer the best option for our family.) Anyway he won't fall asleep with me unless he's nursing and will SCREAM if I refuse. Also, since birth he wakes up multiple times each night crying&screaming and often sitting up but with his eyes closed- I used to think it was night terrors but now I think he's just trying to put himself back to sleep but failing? He won't go back to sleep without me. I refuse to let him "cry it out" so I need another solution! :) Thanks.
about 1 year ago
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- Grace 15 comments
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Confession: My son missed preschool today because my husband and I slept through the alarm. Being up every night for the last YEAR AND A HALF, it tends to happen.
about 1 year ago
Grace
Yeah. I miss her tons! That was when we lived in Dallas. Now, I just need to find some "no judgment" friends in the Bay Area :-)
about 1 year ago
Kim -Sleep Lady
i like the "no judgement" comment also! My house is never as neat and clean as I want it to be!
about 1 year ago
Emily
Grace, I love the "no judgment" comment. So so great!
about 1 year ago
Emily
My kids' school scheduled their parent-teacher conferences today - such a great day to not have to rush in the morning. First time they've ever done it this way - I hope it sticks!
about 1 year ago
Grace
Thienkim, my friend and I used to just say "no judgment" before walking into each other's houses. It always made the other laugh!
about 1 year ago
juliepippert
I'm with LoveThatMax and Pamela! It happens, that's early years, and it's okay.
about 1 year ago
thienkim
Grace, we've been there plenty. Staying up late to catch up on housework. Now i just give up on keeping up with housework. It just means we can't have anyone over!
about 1 year ago
Grace
Not really. We were up until 2am getting caught up for the week, then my daughter woke up... of course! You know what they say about good intentions... :-)
about 1 year ago
pamela dayton
It happens. And really? It's only preschool.
about 1 year ago
LoveThatMax
Totally happens. No worries, he won't need therapy for it.
about 1 year ago
Karen of 3G2S
I think that's happened to almost everybody at least once.
about 1 year ago
Niri
So feels like us - OFTEN we end up missing the bus and dropping her off - because we are running late. lack of sleep messes up with everything
about 1 year ago
thienkim
Sorry! At least you got to sleep in a little, right?
about 1 year ago
Mary Davis
Totally understand. I've had sleepy days also where kids had to stay home. It happens.
about 1 year ago
Brandie
Ha! We were late today too. I couldn't get up. It happens - and I don't even have to stay up late with babies anymore LOL!
about 1 year ago
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NotQuiteSusie
Kim- I've been on my hubby's case about helping out but he works at 3am most mornings so he's a little unavailable- maybe if I tell him an expert said so, he'll do it. :P Thanks again everyone! :)
about 1 year agoMary Davis
Thanks for the great information, Pamela. We do have a really good chiro. Haven't taken the little guy in a while.
about 1 year agoEmily
Great, Kim! I'll post the article - I'm so interested to read it!!! Thanks!!!
about 1 year agoNotQuiteSusie
Thanks for the help & well wishes everyone :) I may just have to pick up a copy of the book &work on it!
about 1 year agoKim -Sleep Lady
Susie- I would start at bedtime when he has had a great day of naps (any way you can get them) and focus on putting him down awake- perhaps nursing sitting up with light on and then when he is down and still awake and you want to continue to cosleep put him in the cosleeper and lay next to him and pat, sh, hold. Slowly reduce your physical intervention. You can gradually wean him at night or do it all at once by reassuring, snuggling, holding etc until he is back asleep. I have had MANY fathers help with this also!
about 1 year agopamela dayton
Mary: Make sure you get really good, pharmaceutical grade oil. Young Living makes amazing oils, and I use many of them on a daily basis. As for the orthotics, there are pressure points for your whole body located in your feet, and keeping your feet supported is super helpful. Also, they help keep your body in alignment, which makes everything work better. A good, gentle chiropractor can also make a world of difference... even for the kids.
about 1 year agoRenae
My oldest had night terrors a lot last year. It is very difficult to watch. Luckily he seems to have outgrown them- at least I hope!
about 1 year agojuliepippert
GL NotQuiteSusie! Enlist a good friend, sitter, or relative too if you need. I did and that's how I figured it out for my youngest!
about 1 year agoKim -Sleep Lady
Night terrors- I will send Emily an article she can post on the difference between night terrors and nightmares since its too long to post.
about 1 year agoNotQuiteSusie
Thanks Brandie, I'll be sure to read the article after the chat! :)
about 1 year agoStephanie
Julie - great idea, thanks!
about 1 year agoKim -Sleep Lady
I like your ideas Julie and I totally agree with your pediatrician!
about 1 year agoBrandie
True night terrors are hard - my oldest had them after a hospital stay when she was 1. Very traumatic, very scary, the first time she had one it scared the you know what out of me. I mean, hers were intense. My 4 year old went through a period where he had them, but I don't think they were true night terrors (there is a step between bad dream and night terror, but of course I can't remember what it's called). It's tough. Here's an article on them though that might be helpful? http://www.parenting.com/article/Pregnancy/Behavior/Ask-Dr-Sears-Dealing-With-Night-Terrors
about 1 year agoNotQuiteSusie
Julie- I really like that concept! I'll have to "spy" on him to figure out what his thing is! :)
about 1 year agojuliepippert
My kids had a tough transition from nursing as soothing and back to sleep cure to doing it on their own. My oldest sucked her thumb so that helped her, but I couldn't find my younger's "thing." My sister noticed it -- when she was tired, she'd rub her ear. So I taught her when she felt tired and needed to fall asleep, rub her ear. Really helped. Both outgrew these, so now the older (my texture kid) has a puppy dog and she rubs his ear, and the younger reads and cuddles books. I had a pediatrician who was a big believer in helping kids find good self-soothing techniques. But be ready to change because as soon as you find the thing, it's as likely to change. But there's always another thing. :)
about 1 year agoMary Davis
Pamela, I will look for lavender oil. What do orthotics do to help night terrors? So interesting.
about 1 year agoNotQuiteSusie
ThisFullHouse- my son's a little young to be afraid of monsters- night terrors are actually different than nightmares- it's a physical reaction (heart racing, etc.) so Monster Spray wouldn't do much- HOWEVER, I think it's a genius idea & will be using it when my son's a little older &does fear monsters! :)
about 1 year agoLoveThatMax
I've been through the lie-down-next-to-kid thing too. Then I graduated to just sitting on a chair in their rooms.
about 1 year agoNiri
I like sleeping early but my day is a mess after that - I used the no cry sleep solution book on my older kid who had the same issue and worked like a charm - just tough when both are in the same room - and one has to go to school next morning
about 1 year agopamela dayton
One thing we have found to be helpful is Essential Oil of Lavendar. I put a drop on my fingertip and dab the middle of the forehead, and then massage their backs and feet with a lavendar oil/olive oil combo. For older kids with night terrors, you might talk to your doctor about getting orthotics for their shoes.
about 1 year agoNotQuiteSusie
Yeah I lay next to him & it's to the point where I get ready for bed early in case I accidentally fall asleep lol- although when he's sleeping is when I clean & do homework (I'm a full time university student) so when I fall asleep early I always regret it. But when it's like the 10th time in 3 hours that I've had to run in to the room, I start to get a little tired.
about 1 year agoThisFullHouse
Re night terors: for me, monster spray made ALL the difference -- filled a spray bottle with water and lemon juice (or, whatever) and sprayed that sucker in every corner, under the bed, etc... heck, I even let the little ones take it and spray wherever they thought necessary. Not the best answer, but it was enough to get them to settle down.
about 1 year agoE@thatsitmommy
Yup right there with the lie down next to for sleep! It is so time consuming on most nights I end up falling asleep with my daughter. I really don't like going to bed for the night at 7:30~
about 1 year agoalbertamel
that`s what i did until my daughter, now 8, started telling me she was ready for bed.
about 1 year agoNiri
I also could not do the cry it out. It seemed forever with mine back to back nursing pregnant - I have 2 kids 22 months apart. It always felt like it was nurse to sleep, then rock to sleep. - now I am at lie down next to - for sleep.
about 1 year agoGrace
You bring up a great point! To this day, I still get conflicting advice on night terrors. Some say leave them alone. Others, to pick them up and comfort them. What is the deal? Kim, please tell us the final word on this :-)
about 1 year agoStephanie
Susie, I am having a similar issue w/ my 9 month old. I am in the habit of nursing him to sleep (though we do not co-sleep). My older son never did this and now I feel like I have nursed to sleep too long with DS2. Not quite sure what the answer is, but you are certainly not alone!
about 1 year ago