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can't believe how fast it goes
From making new friends to managing classes and homework, heading back to school can be filled with sweat-inducing moments. During this class, renowned parenting expert Rosalind Wiseman, author of the New York Times bestseller Queen Bees and Wannabes, will lead us in a discussion about how to get back into the school routine. Along with her blogger co-hosts, Rosalind will offer advice on guiding tweens through classes, after-school sports, rough spots with friends, bullying and more.
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Tweens and Heading Back to School
Sep 20, 2011 Tuesday, 12:00pm EST - Add as Favorites
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Category:FAMILY
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Featured Guest- Jennifer 29 comments
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Bullying. Big topic for parents. What do your schools do on the topic for prevention? Here is Western MA it is a HUGE debate since we've had two teen suicides make national news.
8 months ago
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Talk Host
- rosalindwiseman 28 comments
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There are a couple of questions about organizing for tweens. This is such an important topic because they are right at the age where they need to take on more responsibility for their homework, what they need for the school day, their personal hygiene. So this is what I am doing,
Clothes/Appearance: I am washing their clothes but they have to put it away. Yes it's a mess (shorts are where shirts are supposed to be) but they have to do it. I am also having them do their laundry with me too. They have to be in clean clothes.
2. If they forget something like the shoes they need for a game, they have a two limit allowance where I will take these things to school. After that, I will not bring the forgotten item to school.
3. Deodorant. I don't know about you all but my almost 11 year old is seriously having BO issues. I am putting deodorant next to his toothbrush as a quiet reminder that he has to use it.8 months ago
Talk Host
rosalindwiseman
A lot of teachers I work with, have personal hygiene stuff in their desk so they can discreetly give it to the student. That's a sign of a good teacher in my book!
8 months ago
Featured Guest
ConnieFoggles
I pray for those teachers Kelly. Maybe they use Vicks or something to get through the day :)
8 months ago
Lori Drumm
I wash clothes but my daughter is responsible for putting them away. She's been wearing deodorant since she was 11 (she's almost 13 now). She plays soccer so that might be why so early.
8 months ago
KellyWhalen
It's so tough to get my 13yo son to wear deodorant. I have to remind him often. And I feel for his teachers have to mell all those kids all day!
8 months ago
msrachee
The organizing thing is hard for me. I am the opposite! But we have established a new school routine that works. Since she is home earlier the routine has been possible but there is still the stalling and mad dash in the mornings that can be stressful for the start of the day!
8 months ago
Featured Guest
Jennifer
My kids shower every day but it doesn't mean they are productive in there lol.
8 months ago
msrachee
I hate to say this but it comforts me to know that I don't have the only washing is optional tween!
8 months ago
Featured Guest
Jo-Lynne
My 8-y/o is asking to wear deodorant, but her 11-y/o brother is not interested. Yikes!!
8 months ago
Featured Guest
andTwinsMake5
If it goes in the drawer, I'm all good. My boys are better on the hygiene stuff than my daughter right now, which boggles my mind. It's almost as if she thinks washing her hair and putting on Deodorant and lotion is trying too hard on her appearance.
8 months ago
Jen. L
Ha! Ha! I was thinking the same thing Connie. Liz your kids need to teach a class. ;-)
8 months ago
Featured Guest
Liz
Anytime, Connie!!! LOL!
8 months ago
Becki
I remember my dad yelling at me for taking half-hour showers when I was a tween. I wonder why it's such a struggle to get them to take a shower?
8 months ago
Featured Guest
Liz
ha ha h a, Brandie!!!
8 months ago
Featured Guest
ConnieFoggles
Can we switch kids for a few days Liz? :)
8 months ago
Featured Guest
Liz
Thank goodness my kids (since they were babies) take morning and night showers!
8 months ago
Mary Davis
Sounds like some of the same thins we do here. I can't fight with them about putting things away neatly. I'm just glad they get put away.
8 months ago
Featured Guest
ConnieFoggles
We need like buttons here. Yes, Jennifer! My daughter thinks showering part of her body and washing part of her hair is fine.
8 months ago
Brandie
I wonder if there are things we can do to prevent arguments? We aren't there yet, but I have a feeling when we get there I'll be - if you are leaving the house within 24 hours you have to take my hygiene advice. If you are staying home, be filthy if you want (just don't come by me ha ha!)
8 months ago
Featured Guest
Jennifer
My almost 11 year old boy is responsible for keeping his room clean, sorting and turning all his clothes out. He loads the washer but I set it and switch it and then he puts it away. He has several other chores. He has been wearing deodorant for over a year.
8 months ago
Our struggle is washing his WHOLE head not just the back of it.
Jen. L
I love point #2 My daughter is notorious for leaving home without her glasses and house key. I'll get a call at work asking to leave and bring them. I've done it a few times but it truly is an inconvenience and the last time I didn't do it. I told her that I can't keep leaving work because she's not organized or she "forgets"
8 months ago
Featured Guest
ConnieFoggles
I wonder why there's such a dislike for showers at this age? It's common with my dd's friends too.
8 months ago
temysmom
I don't think she does realize it... or if she does, it doesn't bother her as much as it does me. I guess her friends at school don't really talk about how they look just yet.
8 months ago
Cooper
We had the "I took a shower yesterday" debate just last night!
8 months ago
Talk Host
rosalindwiseman
Does she realize this or do you?
8 months ago
temysmom
My big issue is getting my 11 year old to shower and wash her hair every day - if she doesn't it looks greasy and she has already started getting acne.
8 months ago
Talk Host
rosalindwiseman
We have started this school year with mandatory showers at the end of the day. No more, But I just took a shower yesterday" is an acceptable excuse.
8 months ago
Emily
Hi Rosalind! On point #3, I have to say my 11 year old doesn't believe me. :) I mentioned it again just the other day and she laughed. I think this one might end up coming from her friends ...
8 months ago
temysmom
My 11 year old daughter has been using deodorant for over a year now.
8 months ago
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Talk Host
rosalindwiseman
Unfortunately there other communities like South Hadley that have similar challenges but didn't have it for the country to see. Nevertheless, one of my biggest frustrations in this work is dealing with administration that either don't know how to do a good job.
8 months agoFeatured Guest
Jennifer
The school knew, the parents, knew, the teachers, and principals knew and NO ONE did anything but it was the kids that got pinned against the wall.
8 months agoFeatured Guest
Jennifer
@Rosalinda If you go back you'll learn that the media twisted the story to their liking. That's half the problem.
8 months agoFeatured Guest
Theresa
It's hard. If it isn't a social issue causing our kids to be depressed it is grades, looks....there are so many more things that kids have to deal with today. It's been over 20 years since I graduated from high school and I cannot recall one suicide back then. How about you?
8 months agoFeatured Guest
ConnieFoggles
Thanks for the info. I will follow up.
8 months agoTalk Host
rosalindwiseman
I worked in South Hadley MA where Phoebe Prince was in school. I really hope one day to get back there.
8 months agoBrandie
The link isn't showing up ... can you try to share it again?
8 months agoCooper
Rosalind, that is AMAZING. Your program will make a huge difference.
8 months agoTalk Host
rosalindwiseman
But you can see on October 9th and 14th with Anderson and Dr.Phil and tween, teens, and parents at 8PM both nights for this special. And if you go to the page I just linked you can take a great pledge I helped write!
8 months agoFeatured Guest
ConnieFoggles
Rosalind, I commend you for that. I hope to learn more about it.
8 months agotemysmom
Our middle and high schools all have a Sheriff stationed during school hours. Still... it's more reactive than proactive. He can't be everywhere.
8 months agoTalk Host
rosalindwiseman
This is a really complicated issue. So many moving parts! I am working right now with Cartoon Network, Facebook and Anderson Cooper on a new bullying program. Here
8 months agoFeatured Guest
Jennifer
Both of our teens hung themselves in their bedrooms. Carl Joseph Walker-Hoover did it because he was gay and getting neaten for it at school. Extreme Makeover is actually here building a new home for his family right now.
8 months agoPheobe Prince who was on the cover of People slept around and got harassed for it afterwards.
Featured Guest
ConnieFoggles
Our school district take bullying seriously too. There's a contract for each student to sign. Gives all incidents of what is considered bullying and consequences.
8 months agoKayla S
"Standing by is participating." SO TRUE, Jennifer. And this is sooo scary!
8 months agotemysmom
Yes, Brandie. A lot of time it's a he said/she said kind of situation and it's hard to know what to believe.
8 months agoJen. L
Most of the Middle & High Schools in my district have sheriff's in them. I don't know if it's a state wide thing but, here in Durham County, North Carolina sheriffs are stationed at all middle and high schools.
8 months agoBrandie
It seems to me, based on what I hear/read that schools claim to have a zero tolerance approach - ding students for doing things that they probably shouldn't get in trouble for but now will because of zero tolerance, but look the other way when it comes to kids who are the biggest bully - who know how to affect the students around them but do it just enough so that they fly under the radar.
8 months agotemysmom
That's a great idea Jennifer - let them all know they are ALL responsible if they do nothing.
8 months agoBecki
Those things are terrifying. As if the emotional heartache of bullying weren't enough.
8 months agoFeatured Guest
Jennifer
All the children in all levels of school are having to sign ;Peace Builders Pledges' and they have meetings about how if you can intervene you will and if it's turned violent you get help. Standing by is participating.
8 months agotemysmom
I think many kids don't feel they can talk to their parents about school issues... or any issues for that matter. Communication with your tweens is SO important.
8 months agoFeatured Guest
Theresa
Oops teens, nursing my little guy who keeps kicking!
8 months agoFeatured Guest
Jo-Lynne
Omygosh that is TERRIFYING.
8 months agoBrandie
I can't even imagine? Stabbing and acid? :(
8 months agotemysmom
I don't think most school take bullying seriously enough.
8 months agoEmily
Jennifer, that must have been devastating. Is your school taking any innovative approaches?
8 months agoFeatured Guest
Theresa
It's so sad. Have you seen the movie To Save a Life? Good for older tens, but deals with bullying and the popular vs the unpopular crowd, teen suicide, cutting and more.
8 months agotemysmom
We've had serious incidents of bullying gone overboard. We had a stabbing at a high school last year and just a week ago, my friend's daughter had acid poured down her back in high school because she wouldn't do what a boy wanted. So scary.
8 months ago