soccer game that hurts others may not be the time to refuse, but find one that only hurts him a touch?

@Connie we have white boards too. It's definitely helped but sometimes it only gets him half way there.

In the long run, you have to occasionally refuse to save them. It's a life lesson that is hard for me to give them but good for them long term.

Not bring him a soccer uniform only hurts the team if they are forced to forfeit and all the parents a $50 fine. That's not something that's worth teaching him a lesson over.

We use a white board. Actually two - one in the bathroom and one in bedroom. So far, so good.

Lists ... can you hang something on the front door that says what they need when they walk out? I had a friend do this. And it worked well for them. After a while it all became habit so the lists weren't needed.

Oh gosh, that is a big one here. I think the ideal answer is consequences and not always rescuing them - make them live with the "natural consequences" but that is often easier said than done.