Happy Valentine’s Day, everyone. Kristen Chase, aka The Mominatrix, led a Talk on making Valentine’s Day extra special. Here are the Top Ten Tips from the conversation:
1. Take Time. “One of the reasons why I do like Valentine’s Day is because it can force us to take time out for our partner. Something that is often put low on the list,” said Kristen, the Mominatrix.
2. Your Love Language. TheMamaSutra recommends we all take the 5 Love Languages quiz. “The idea is we all feel love differently. I might love to be touched but my partner might love gifts. If I touch him and he would rather I show it with a present, he might not be “feeling” the love I’m showing to him yet,” said TheMamaSutra.
3. I’m Sexy and I Know It. Sometimes as moms, it’s hard to get that feeling. Redneck Mommy likes to start with a shower and a bra. ThienKim likes a bra that gets the girls up where they belong and adds cleavage. Robin agrees showering is a good start, and as long as you are in the shower, might as well shave. Meghan likes to wear sexy underwear to feel sexy. MaddieMom6 shared she did a boudoir photo shoot and felt incredibly sexy afterwards.
4. Add in Some Tools. Kristen said, “I love using an old nursing pillow for *that* kind of fun!” Don’t have a nursing pillow? Any pillow will do, but the favorite seems to be a wedge-shaped pillow. Want to add a little more fun? Facial scrubbers make a good “gateway vibrator.” They don’t beat the real thing, but you can pick them up anywhere and can be less embarrassing to buy. And do not underestimate the power of a good lube. Some say coconut oil will do the trick, but The MamaSutra recommends a combo pack by Wet Brand.
5. Layer in Erotica. Porn works for some, but not others. So feel free to explore soft porn, sexy movies, or invest in some books. ThienKim recommended watching The Short Bus – an artistic but sexy movie. You can also try reading erotica (TheMamaSutra recommends Aqua). Robin recommends the app 69 positions and The Joy of Sex book. ThienKim recommends investing in Ride’em Cowboy by Sadie Allison. Just go to your local bookstore and wander through the sex aisle.
6. It’s the Little Things. Say I love you in the day to day. Something as simple as making your loved one coffee before work in the morning. Send a love letter, a sexy e-mail or text … use technology to your advantage. Give a massage, hide love notes to be found during the day.
7. Go For It. “I think many women don’t see lack of good sex as an issue. It’s easy to just put it aside and think about other things,” said Kristen. “Then you realize something is wrong when you have HOT SEX and go, oh, now I see what I was missing.”
8. Rekindle. For those of you who are struggling with intimacy right now, take time to just be with your partner – cuddle, make out, hold hands, watch a movie. Sometimes, as Mominatrix points out, it can be “better to take a step back rather than try to do new tricks. Go out together. Get some alone time. Rekindle that way.”
9. Stay Home Tonight if Valentine’s Day Out Isn’t Your Thing. As Becki said “We usually avoid dinner out – overpriced, long waits, and babysitter expense. We do a special family dinner and hopefully catch some alone time once the kids crash.” Thienkim added, “Ideally I’d like to lounge around my home naked with hubby but those pesky kids will be around.”
10. Talk to Each Other. Talk to your loved one about sex. Share what you like, what you don’t like, etc. If you’ve never talked to your significant other, it might seem awkward at first, but my guess … the first time you had sex felt awkward too, but you didn’t stop doing it. It gets easier with time. And will probably lead to deeper connections and better sex. A win-win!
Regardless of what your Valentine’s Day plans are, I hope you have a wonderful day.
And a huge thank you to all of co-hosts (check out their great websites and resources!):
Kristen Chase of The Mominatrix
Kim of I’m Not the Nanny
Tanis Miller of Attack of the Redneck Mommy
Meghan Cooper of JaMonkey
Lanae of The MamaSutra
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