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14 Tips For Budget-Friendly Weeknight Cooking from America’s Test Kitchen and The Motherhood

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In celebration of the release of America’s Test Kitchen’s new cookbook, Simple Weeknight Favorites, Senior Book Editor Suzannah McFerran led a Live Talk in The Motherhood on healthy, tasty, budget-friendly and, most important, easy recipes for weeknight cooking.

 

“Most of the recipes (from the new cookbook) can be prepared under 30 minutes, all of them are under 45 minutes. The concept was: Dinner on a page, minimal ingredients,” said Suzannah of America’s Test Kitchen.

 

 

Suzannah’s Tips for Saving Time in the Kitchen

 

1.) Jump-start. “Vegetables can be jump-started in the microwave then finished in the oven … same with rice. Here’s an example: Risotto – no tedious stovetop stirring!”

 

2.) Skillet pastas. “We cook the pastas in the sauce to flavor the pasta and minimize pots.”

 

3.) Ingredients that play double duty. “Make a marinade for chicken, reserve some for the salad, and then use it to give a final boost of flavor to the chicken at the end. (Important note: reserve BEFORE you marinate!)”

 

4.) Peel and cut certain veggies ahead of time. “Carrots for sure. Zucchini, onions are fine. Ones to be careful of are the ones that oxidize.”

 

5.) Go for the thigh. “Chicken thighs are a lot cheaper than breasts and we love to cook with them here. They are also harder to screw up!”

 

 

 

More great ideas from the wonderful bloggers who co-hosted the live event:

 

6.) Make Beans and Rice a Menu Staple. “Rice and beans is superbly nutritious, easy to make and everyone will eat it. Leftovers can be made into quesadillas, cooked with an egg from breakfast or used as taco or enchilada filling.” (Kate, Kate in the Kitchen)

 

7.) Short on Time? “In a pinch, I get the organic frozen rice from Trader Joe’s and pop in the microwave for a fluffy, delish side dish.” (Beth, Real Moms Love to Eat)

 

8.) Introduce Your Tastebuds to Quinoa. “Quinoa is usually found in the grain aisle with rices and is cooked like rice. It is a great backdrop for healthy flavors.” (Kelsey, The Naptime Chef)

 

9.) The Freezer is Your Friend. “I like to make meals ahead and freeze them – cook [staples like rice and quinoa] until just cooked. That way they aren’t overcooked when you pull them out and thaw them.” Click here for easy, freezer-friendly recipes. (Tricia, Once A Month Mom)

 

10.) Think Squash. “I love to roast 3 or 4 butternut squashes early in the week with some olive oil and maple syrup. Then I use the cut up squash in all my dishes for the week: soup, risotto, or just as a delicious side.” (Vanessa, Chef Druck Musings)

 

11.) Get Out the Slow Cooker. “The slow cooker is a wonderful helper for those busy nights. Anytime I know my time will be limited, I’ll set something up to cook in there when there’s still time in the morning. Dinner’s waiting when I get home.” (Julie, Mommie Cooks)

 

12.) Buy Meat in Bulk. “Pork is an inexpensive meat that tastes great. I buy large value packs of pork cutlets for quick weeknight dinners.” (Vanessa, Chef Druck Musings)

 

13.) Add Eggs to the Mix. “You can throw anything in with a pot of scrambled eggs (or an omelette) super quick!” (Julie, Mommie Cooks)

 

14.) Toss in Everything but the Kitchen Sink. “Stir fries are simple, fast and a good way to use up odds and ends of vegetables.” (Kate, Kate in the Kitchen)

 

 

 

To Whet Your Appetite

 

Three of Suzannah’s top picks from Simple Weeknight Favorites:

 

Coffee-Rubbed Rib Eye Steaks with Creamy Slaw.
A little sugar speeds up and ensures browning for quick cooking steaks.

 

Chicken Thighs with Fennel, Orange and Olives
Jump-start roasting of veg in oven, brown chicken on stovetop – then finish in oven so flavors can meld – thighs are cheap and more flavorful – hard to mess up!

 

Moroccan Fish and Couscous Packets
Flavorful sauce, fish goes on top. No searing or splattering mess in the kitchen for a delicious fast fish dinner!

 

Other great weeknight options:

One-dish sausage and spinach pasta, by Julie of Mommie Cooks

Roasted chicken and root veggies, by Kim of My Cup of Creativi-tea

Spaghetti primavera, by Beth of Real Moms Love to Eat

 

Slow cooker recipes you might try:

Slow cooker beef bourguignon, by Vanessa of Chef Druck Musings

Italian beef sandwiches, by Diane Campagna

Taco chicken chili, by JesicaD

 

And what’s dinner without dessert? For a sweet end to your meal, try out ATK’s Family Baking Book and Blue Ribbon Desserts.

 

See the Simple Weeknight Favorites recipes on display in the America’s Test Kitchen Facebook gallery, and get a behind-the-scenes peek at America’s Test Kitchen here:

 

 

Here’s the full transcript of the Talk with Suzannah from America’s Test Kitchen, the great blogger co-hosts and The Motherhood community.

 

And here’s a wonderful post from America’s Test Kitchen about the Live Talk, as well! Aren’t they cool?!?

Catch the ZZZ Train: Tips for a Better Night’s Sleep

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Insomnia. Sleep apnea. Night terrors. General anxiety.

 

Any number of issues can keep you awake at night. If you suspect that you’re having trouble sleeping because of a medical condition, you should talk with your doctor.  But if your lack of sleep is thanks to hyperactive kids or a racing mind, keep reading!

 

Guests from the Bedtime Network and a great group of bloggers shared their best sleep suggestions in The Motherhood today, and we’ve picked our top 10 favorite tips to share with you.

 

1.) Don’t caffeinate after noon. “Avoid coffee and other caffeinated drinks after 12 in the afternoon. It can take nine hours or more for the body to digest caffeine,” said Lisa Mercurio of the Bedtime Network.

 

2.) Take advantage of your kids’ natural sleepiness. With the kids asleep, you have more time to relax and unwind before your own bedtime. “I’m always trying to catch the kids when they are at that ‘just right for sleep’ moment!” said Stephanie of Mamma Bear’s World.

 

3.) If that fails, manufacture some sleepiness. “I used to give my boys milk every night before bed. It was a great way to have an excuse to also sit down and cuddle (can’t run around w/a cup of milk in your hand!)” said Amanda of Parenting by Dummies.


4.) Unplug. “Just remember that when the kids are finally in bed not to use your down time diving into technology, as this can further make you feel that your day has not ended,” said Nyiri Grigorian of the Bedtime Network. “Technology and staying plugged in is one of the major problems with having a smooth transition to sleep. It also deprives us of much needed alone time before bed.”

 

5.) Clear your mind. “I try to meditate before I go to bed for at least 5-10 minutes,” said Kayla. “It’s hard at first because you keep thinking about things, but come back to the quiet and it starts to get easier!”

 

6.) Watch what you eat – and drink. “Try to avoid alcohol. It’s not a relaxer. It’s actually a stimulant,” said Lisa of the Bedtime Network. “Also, sleeping on a full stomach leads to a bad night’s sleep.”

 

7.) Create a bedtime ritual. “I like to turn off the lights, play soft music on Pandora and light candles,” suggested Shannon of Potamus Prefers.

 

8.) Wind down with the family pet. “One thing that does help me to really relax at night is spending time petting our dog,” said Amanda of Parenting by Dummies. “She’s sooooo soothing when she cuddles up on the floor by my feet!”

 

9.) Tune into white noise. To drown out irritating nighttime sounds like a snoring partner, “I do have an air purifier next to my side of the bed, and that humming helps out some,” said Stephanie of Goober Monkey.

 

10.) Sleep elsewhere if you need to. “Sometimes my husband can really snore, and I leave the room. It’s not all the time, but it does help!” said Stephanie of Mamma Bear’s World.

 

We’ll be putting these tips to use in our own bedtime routines!

 

What helps you fall asleep at night?

How Do You Spend #10Minutes of Me Time?

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Last week, in The Motherhood’s Work Life Balance Talk, Christine Koh of Boston Mamas suggested that what we all need to do is to take #10minutes for ourselves every day.

 

Of course, we all said ‘yes, great idea!’ right before saying, ‘darn, why is that so hard?’ So clever girl that she is, Christine suggested we all challenge ourselves to take just #10minutes a day to relax, do whatever we want, have fun, breathe, or take care of ourselves in some way.  Time just for us, without guilt.  And we could share with each other what we do with our time, how it feels and inspire each other along the way.

 

So, the #10minutes For Me Challenge was born.

 

Today in The Motherhood we kicked off the #10minutes for Me Challenge with a fantastic conversation among the most wonderful bloggers all sharing their favorite ways to carve out some time for themselves.  Now we are all charged up to actually DO IT, to take ten minutes every day for ourselves!

 

Check out their inspiring ideas and let us know how you most like to spend your #10minutes of downtime!

 

Twenty Ways To Take #10minutes for Yourself

 

1.) Run or Stretch.  “”A 10 minute run is better than no run … A 10 minute run feels awesome. You sweat and feel like you’ve done something, but it isn’t the commitment of spending an hour on the pavement.  But if you hate running, or don’t want to get sweaty, STRETCHING is one of the best things you can do for yourself.” – Christine, Boston Mamas

 

2.) Read a Book. “I read a lot. I’ll just sit on my bed and open a book. It lets me shut off everything else.” – temysmom

 

3.) Browse Pinterest. “I know I love to browse Pinterest in any free time I get – sometimes that leaks over into more than 10 minutes though!” – Tesa, 2 Wired 2 Tired

 

4.) Take Photos. “My everyday life is my muse. I use my photography (specifically Instagram) to get the little bursts of creative Me Time I need throughout the day. It works wonders for me!” – Tracey, Shutter Sisters

 

5.) Send a Card. “I try to send a card or letter to a friend once a week- #10minutes is all I need and it really lifts me up.” – Steph, Adventures in Babywearing

 

6.) Shower. “I take a hot shower with some aromatherapy! Peppermint is very invigorating!” – Diane, Turning the Clock Back

 

7.) Drive. “I enjoy ME time in my car!” – Liz, Thoughts of a Mommy

 

8.) Drink Tea. “I’ve started daily ‘tea time.’ The kids have figured out which kind they like. We sip tea, have a little snack, and then each person goes to their space for some quiet time.” – Julie, Using My Words

 

9.) Write. “I’ve started keeping a worry journal. Whenever I catch myself worrying about stuff, I write it down and save it for later. Clears my mind for more productive thinking, for a few minutes, anyway.” – Liz, This Full House

 

10.) Open a Magazine. “I’m such a magazine addict. HGTV Magazine is one of my new favorites. But I am starting to enjoy the style magazines like InStyle and Harper’s Bazaar.” – Mary, Everyday Baby Steps

 

11.) Get Outside. “In the summer, I weed the herb or flower gardens. It can be so relaxing to be outside in the nice weather playing in the dirt.” – Ellen, Confessions of an Overworked Mom

 

12.) Start a Playlist. “My new thing? Putting together playlists in Spotify. Finding new music, combining just the right songs in the right order and having a neat selection to listen to while working.” – Julie, Using My Words

 

13.) Make a Coffee Run. “Sometimes honestly my #10minutes is the car ride to the Starbucks drive-thru. My tunes, ALONE AND QUIET and caffeine.” – Steph, Adventures in Babywearing

 

14.) Walk the Dog. “Dogs are a great motivator to go walk. I call my walks “gratitude walks” and try to focus on all the things around me that I am grateful for. It’s a good perspective changer.” – Tracey, Shutter Sisters

 

15.) Phone a Friend. “I like to take #10minutes to call and catch up with a friend while waiting for kids in the carpool lane.” – Liz, This Full House

 

16.) Play Games. “I play Words With Friends or Sims Social on Facebook – such silly guilty pleasures.” – Mary, Everyday Baby Steps

 

17.) Do a Home Manicure. “I paint my nails. I’m always so impatient and can never wait for them to dry but if I had the time they just might come out perfect for once!” – Tesa, 2 Wired 2 Tired

 

18.) Knit. “My biggest ‘guilty pleasure’ for me time is knitting. Usually sneak it in more than #10minutes but it’s such a wonderful and fulfilling pastime.” – Steph, Adventures in Babywearing

 

19.) Hit the Stores. “I am going shopping for my #10minutes to finally spend some Christmas money.” – Ellen, Confessions of an Overworked Mom

 

20.) Power Nap. “My mom is a champ at taking a 10 minute nap and waking up feeling refreshed.” – Tesa, 2 Wired 2 Tired

 

 

Thanks to our host and co-hosts for setting aside #10minutes+ for this Talk!

 

Christine, Boston Mamas

Diane, Turning the Clock Back

Ellen, Confessions of an Overworked Mom

Jennifer, Mom Bloggers Club

Julie, Using My Words

Kami, Working Mom Fence

Lindsay, Rock & Roll Mama

Liz, This Full House

Liz, Thoughts of a Mommy

Mary, Everyday Baby Steps

Steph, Adventures in Babywearing

Tesa, 2 Wired 2 Tired

Tracey, Shutter Sisters

Top Twelve Ways to Find Work-Life Balance

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Maybe you’ve scoffed at the idea that work-life balance is actually possible.  We have too. But, we know we can do better with this, especially with the help of friends.

 

Chrysula Winegar, whose blog is WORK. LIFE. BALANCE., organized a fantastic team of bloggers to lead a live discussion in The Motherhood to share ways they find more balance in our lives.

 

Here are the Top Twelve Ways to Find Work-Life Balance from our conversation together:

 

12. Overcome Work Guilt: “I have been struggling as I’m looking to re-join the work force again. I’ve gotten pep talks from all my working mom friends and one really stood out. She said, ‘Ask yourself whether you’re a better mom working or staying at home. Then any time you start feeling guilty or turmoiled, go back to that answer.’ So true! I’m a better mom at work!” ~ Elle, See Mom Work Blog

 

11. Do What You Do Best, and Let Others Do the Rest: “YOU do the things that are most important for you to do, but if others can step in and help (i.e., virtual manager, house care, a babysitter, etc.) then welcome the chance to delegate. You will find your time and talents so much more well spent.” ~ Sarah Jane Wright, Sarah Jane Studios

 

10. Lean on Your Partner: “My greatest tool is a weekly planning meeting with my husband. We even have an agenda. Goals, kids, calendar, priorities for the week, planning a date night. It has made ALL the difference.” ~ Chrysula Winegar, WORK. LIFE. BALANCE.

 

9. Decide When to Say ‘No’: “Saying no is so tricky for me — though necessary. I try and create little equations to help me gauge whether a new project or opportunity will be worth it. The equations help me be realistic about time required and what I expect the outcome to be.” ~ Gabrielle Blair, Design Mom and Kirtsy

 

8. Set Aside 10 Minutes for Yourself: “Just today I started to engage in a 10 minute a day gift to myself — whether that is running, walking, meditating, a few sun salutations, etc… I put it in my Outlook to do as a recurring daily event. The point is, giving yourself that time — even just 10 minutes — is amazingly effective to recalibrate and help you restore a sense of balance.” ~ Christine Koh, Boston Mamas

 

7. Make Time for Friends and Partner: “I have been trying to make sure that I have dinner or drinks with a friend/friends one night a week. I also have a standing date night with my husband once a week. Those two things help me de-stress. They make me feel like a real person, beyond being a mom and beyond my job.” ~ Kami Lewis Levin, The Fence

 

6. Let Go of the Negative: “Research has shown that having a positive outlook actually helps you cope with work-life challenges better. If you always look at the negatives, and think ‘I’ll never get all this done’ it can actually sabotage you!” ~ Jennifer Sabatini Fraone, The Boston College Center for Work & Family

 

5. Perfectionism is Not the Answer: “Giving your 100% to everything is NOT balance. That’s being an overachiever. Having BALANCE in your life means that your willing to let certain areas in your life shift according to what is the most pressing on your plate. I gave up trying to have folded laundry long ago. But I feel balanced!” ~ Sarah Jane Wright, Sarah Jane Studios

 

4. Remember, Your Life is YOUR Life: “Letting go of OTHER people’s definitions of what your life is supposed to look like is essential.” ~ Chrysula Winegar, WORK. LIFE. BALANCE.

 

3. Keep Your Eye on the Ball: “I feel confidence with work life balance. I think a big part of that is finding meaning in all aspects of my life. Not everything can be exciting, but I try to keep my mind on why what I’m doing is important to me.” ~ Rachael Ellison, Reworking Parents

 

2.  One Thing at at Time: “Juggling it all can be difficult. But it is do-able. I always say ‘I’m EVERY WOMAN. Just NOT at the same time.'” ~ LaShaun – Shootie Girl

 

And the number one way to find work-live balance:

 

1. Choose a fight song:  Yes, indeed.  Choose the music that rocks you.  “This song gets me happy every time: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3LMVJ2xd1g8” ~ Sarah Jane Wright, Sarah Jane Studios

 

Visit our wonderful hosts and these great resources:

 

Chrysula Winegar, WORK. LIFE. BALANCE.

Gabrielle Blair, Design Mom and Kirtsy

Elle, See Mom Work Blog

Kami Lewis Levin, The Fence

Sarah Jane Wright, Sarah Jane Studios

Jennifer Sabatini Fraone, The Boston College Center for Work & Family

Rachael Ellison, Reworking Parents

 

Marketwatch: Dads Don’t Sacrifice Family for Work

“I Am” documentary

Making Tech Work For You with Carley from Digitwirl

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With gadgets galore and thousands upon thousands of apps to choose from, it can be tough to know where to start when it comes to tech that makes your life easier.

 

“I tend to feel so overwhelmed by the amount of app choices that I neglect to download the ones I need!” said Holly at The Culture Mom.

 

That’s where the awesome Carley Knobloch of Digitwirl, along with a team of tech-savvy bloggers, can help. They dispensed advice and recommendations for apps of all kinds during a highly useful live chat in The Motherhood today.

 

http://youtu.be/v6P2T_kHaIM

 

By category, here are their favorites!

 

Entering the World of Apps

 

“I agree with Carley to focus first on what you actually need a specific app for. General organization? Grocery lists? Calendaring? And then go from there,” recommended Jeana Tahnk, Tech writer for Parenting, Cool Mom Tech, Mashable and others.

 

“You could really start with the basics and begin using all the native software: Calendar, Reminders … also apps like ZipList to solve the grocery list problem (i.e., not remembering to take it with you to the store!)” said Carley.

 

Sarah Kimmel at Technology for Moms provided a brief list of must-have apps for newbies:

 

Google for calendar
Toodledo for tasks
Grocery IQ for shopping
Evernote for keeping notes

 

Time Savers

 

Said Sarah at Technology for Moms, “I love using ToodleDo.com for my to do list. Recurring tasks, organized into folders, synced with every device I own.”

 

“One of the browser extensions I’m most addicted to is Read It Later. Every day I see so many articles I want to read, but don’t have time to do it right then and there,” said Betsy Cadel at Gray Matter Matters. “I press the ‘Read it Later’ button on my tool bar and read it when I have time.”

 

When it comes to managing Twitter for your blog or business, “LOVE Hootsuite! And Buffer is my new favorite for scheduling tweets!” said Carley of Digitwirl.

 

“Yelp. I use it so often to find new places to go when I meet up with friends,” suggested Betsy of Gray Matter Matters.

 

Organizers

 

“I manage our family calendar on Google and grocery shop with GroceryIQ,” said Grace Duffy of Splash Creative Media and Formerly Gracie.

 

“I’m a big fan of Cozi for calendaring since I can access it via the web, iPhone, Droid, Blackberry, etc. and it works with Outlook and Gmail,” said TechSavvyMama. “So easy to have everything in one place and updating in real time!”

 

“A few great apps for organization are Intuition, Paperless, Evernote,” suggested Jeana. “TeuxDeux is a very simple app (and website) for making lists as well.”

 

“I LOVE Notability,” added MJ Tam. “I write notes with my iPad pen and it records sounds too. It converts my notes in PDFs or however I want to convert it so I can share.”

 

Babysitters

 

“In terms of finding great sitters, I’ve heard SitterCity is great,” said Betsy at Gray Matter Matters.

 

“Have you seen SitterScout? It texts all of your sitters at once and helps organize who is coming, when. Brilliant!” replied Grace of Formerly Gracie.

 

Finders

 

“I love AroundMe for the quick ‘where’s the nearest pharmacy’ type questions,” said Carley of Digitwirl.

 

Recorders

 

“Another app I use a lot is Dragon Dictation (free),” said Jeana. “It’s like having a personal stenographer with you at all times!”

 

“If you use Evernote‘s voice record, you can have it transcribe your voice notes as well,” added Carley of Digitwirl.

 

For real paper “recording” needs, “I LOVE our HP Photosmart Premium printer – we can print before we even get home and then it’s waiting there for us – gotta love wireless printing!” said Sarah Burns, mompreneur and writer at The Ohana Mama.

 

Money Managers

 

For overall budgeting and tracking, “Mint.com all the way!” said Grace of Formerly Gracie. “Pulls in all of my accounts, sets up budgets based on expenses, and reminds you when bills are due.”

 

“Expensify is great when dealing with bills/receipts and working with a couple of people together,” said MJ Tam.

 

“Manilla is great for keeping all bills in one place,” added Jeana.

 

“NeatReceipts and the Neat scanning software is also great for when you’re scanning receipts for an expense report — or just for personal stuff. And TONS of other uses too,” said Carley of Digitwirl.  “Also loving Lemon — a receipt tracker.”

 

Unclutterers

 

“Some of you have asked about going paperless: We’ve done some research at Digitwirl and here are a few simple tips,” said Carley:

 

 

She added, “I also love the Doxie scanner — you don’t even need a computer to scan while you’re on the go… and the new Doxie is WIRELESS… you don’t even have to connect it EVER!”

 

There is MUCH MORE in the conversation – be sure to read the whole thing! And visit Carley and our other tech savvy friends on their sites:

 

Carley Knobloch, Digitwirl,@digitwirl @carleyknobloch

Betsy Cadel, Gray Matter Matters, @graymatterbc

Sarah Kimmel, Technology for Moms, @tech4moms

Sarah Burns, The Ohana Mama, @theohanamama

Jeana Tahnk, tech writer, @jeanatahnk

Grace Duffy, Formerly Gracie, @graceduffy

 

Amy McCready on Parenting Without Nagging, Reminding or Yelling

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You’ve yelled and reminded and nagged … and your child’s room still isn’t clean.  And her homework still isn’t done.  What’s a parent to do?

 

Amy McCready, author of “If I Have to Tell You One More Time … The Revolutionary Program That Gets Your Kids to Listen Without Nagging Reminding or Yelling,” gave us numerous positive parenting solutions for common family situations during a Talk in The Motherhood today.

 

“MY VISION FOR YOU … that you can’t even remember the last time you raised your voice,” said Amy McCready. “Not saying that we’ll never yell. We ARE human! But, I want you to have to think long and hard about the last time you raised your voice.”

 

Here are the top parenting challenge areas that surfaced during the Talk, and the best advice for handling them:

 

1. How Can I Get Started?

 

“Being a parent can be hard and discipline can take a lot of practice and thought. Giving yourself time to learn and figure out the parent you want to be is the best thing you can do now [with babies and very young kids],” said Polly Schlafhauser, founder and president of Families With Purpose.

 

2. How Can I Discipline without Time Outs?

 

Amy McCready recently hosted a webinar on Why Times Outs Are a Waste of Time.

 

For a different take, “When my son was little, we did ‘hug-it-out Time Outs,'” said Katie Bugbee, managing editor of Care.com. “We held him tight and counted to 30 every time he did something bad (hitting, being out of control). In most cases, he just needed to calm his body – and we needed to help him do that.”

 

3. How Can I Get My Kids to Do Chores without Nagging?

 

“One thing I did was to share the ownership of the chores rather than be the keeper of the list,” said Polly Schlafhauser. “I now use a big dry erase board hanging in a very central spot where EVERYONE can see it.”

 

“WHEN-THEN routines work SO well,” added Amy McCready. “WHEN the yucky stuff is done – THEN you can do the more fun parts of your daily routine. Don’t forget to place a deadline on the when-then routine when it is appropriate.”

 

4. How Can I Eliminate Whining?

 

“Remember that kids continue doing what WORKS! If the behavior (whining) gets your attention – they’ll keep doing it!” Amy pointed out. “The best strategy is to IGNORE WHINING. Practice using a calm voice – but in the moment when she’s whining – IGNORE!!!”

 

5. How Can I Convince Them to Stop Telling Tall Tales?

 

“Depends on why he’s lying,” said Amy McCready. “If it’s to get out of trouble – be sure that your discipline methods are focused on ‘learning’ rather than blame, shame and pain. Sometimes they tell tall-tales. You can say… ‘Hmmm, that sounds interesting. Can you tell me more about what really happened?'”

 

6. How Can I Enforce Getting Homework Done?

 

“We require them to set goals for the grades they thought were appropriate in each subject if they gave 110%. After they set their goals, we promised to not nag them or follow up with them as long as they met their goals or came to us and told us they were having trouble,” said Polly Schlafhauser. “As long as they met their goals, they get to keep their cell phones. If they don’t meet their goals then they lose their phones.”

 

7. How Can I Make Them Stop Misbehaving?

 

“I usually get in their face and make them separate themselves,” said Kelly Lester, singer, actress and CEO of Easy Lunchboxes. “They hate that, so they usually stop the indoor wildness if it means they can’t play together anymore.”


Jodi Hitchcock suggested, “Make a point of having active time every day at the same time. About a half hour before lunch either bundle up and play outside or go for a walk. If the weather is not appropriate then turn on some music and have a crazy dance party in doors. Whatever it is, let them get all those wiggles out!!”

 

“Believe it or not – it has nothing to do with a consequence!!” replied Amy McCready. “It is spending 1-on-1 time with your kids on a daily basis filling their attention baskets. We call it Mind, Body & Soul Time. Honestly – do this daily and you’ll see misbehavior start to fall off the radar screen!”

 

8. How Can I Defuse a Tantrum?

 

“‘Forcing’ kids to go [to their rooms] can be counter productive – it’s better to remove YOURSELF from the room – disengage while he’s throwing a tantrum,” said Amy McCready.

 

Amy also shared a link with free articles and resources on specific strategies for dealing with tantrums.

 

9. How Can I Get Them to Clean Their Rooms?

 

Amy McCready suggested two strategies: “1) Use a when-then routine. WHEN your room is clean – then we’ll leave for soccer. 2) Our rule is that rooms have to be cleaned up by 5 PM. Anything that’s left lying on the floor, etc. – will go into a box and be unavailable for the next week.”

 

Added Kelly Lester, “I just told my 14 year old that she’s going nowhere unless I see a non-asked for general cleanliness improvement on a daily basis. NOT just when she wants to go somewhere!”

 

10. How Can I Encourage Them to Take Responsibility?

 

“My husband created a chart to remind our boys of some simple household rules,” said staciebuesing. “If you turn it on turn it off….If you mess it up clean it up….If you open it close it….”

 

“Love it – visual reminders are so helpful so you don’t have to NAG!!!!” replied Amy McCready.

 

11. Why Don’t My Kids Respond to Discipline the Same Way?

 

“I feel like parenting is like playing a video game. Once you feel like you’ve mastered one level (kid) along comes another with totally new challenges that you have to decipher!” said Becki.

 

“Remember there aren’t ‘blanket consequences’ [for misbehavior],” said Amy McCready. “You pick the tool that will be most helpful for that behavior.”

 

12. The Most Important Takeaway

 

“UNIVERSAL TRUTH…kids have a HARD-WIRED NEED for emotional connection and POSITIVE attention,” said Amy McCready. “If we don’t fill their attention basket DAILY with individual time and attention – they’ll get our attention but in NEGATIVE WAYS – whining, tantrums, power struggles, etc.”

 

“Over the holidays, my husband and I had ‘dates’ with our son. It was so much fun for everyone.. but we had to hire a sitter to get the time alone with just him,” said Katie Bugbee. “Right now, our 1:1 time comes at bedtime.. when one of us snuggles with one of them.”

 

Thanks everyone!

 

Amy McCready, author, “If I Have to Tell You One More Time…” and founder of Positive Parenting Solutions

 

Polly Schlafhauser, founder and president, Families With Purpose

 

Jen Singer, Momma Said

 

Katie Bugbee, managing editor, Care.com

 

Jennifer Zaranis, senior manager for national marketing, The Mommies Network

 

Kelly Lester, singer, actress, CEO of Easy Lunchboxes

 

Be sure to check out the full Talk transcript here.