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The Top 20 Tips for New and Expecting Moms

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To help guide women through the joyful and exciting process of becoming a mom for the first time, Philips AVENT asked themotherhood.com, an online network of moms, to give their best advice for new and expecting parents. Moms came through with a virtual baby shower of tips. Here are the Top Twenty:

Pregnancy
1. Keep a journal or take weekly photos to capture the magical moments of your pregnancy. Philips AVENT has launched a Facebook application that will help you do this – check it out here!
2. Take naps, rest, and be OK with the fact that you might not be able to do as much as you normally would.
3. If this is your second pregnancy, know that it might not be the same as your first. Every pregnancy is unique!
4. Make a list and pack a bag for the hospital. Don’t forget less obvious items like a phone list of people you want to notify when the baby is born, change for the vending machines and baby’s first outfit!
5. Buy a baby memory book and ask the nurse at the hospital to put your newborn’s footprints and hospital bracelet in the book.

 

Preparing for Baby’s Arrival
6. Take a mom with you when you register for baby items so you know you’re requesting items you’ll really use, like baby bottles and pacifiers.
7. Make and freeze meals for yourself and your family before you’re due to give birth.
8. Put a small refrigerator in your bedroom and fill it with milk, snacks and water so you’ll have those items close at hand once your baby has arrived.
9. Stock up on diapers – you’ll need lots – as you won’t always have the energy to get more later on. You can spread out the cost by buying one package of diapers for each trip to the grocery store.
10. Look into local mom groups ahead of time – they can be a great source of advice, support, and even meals!
Caring for Your Newborn
11. You can NEVER love your baby too much! It’s okay to give him or her lots of affection.
12. Ask family and friends for recommendations on finding the right pediatrician shortly after your baby is born. A good pediatrician is like a parenting partner.
13. Read your baby, not the books. Trust your instincts and focus on your child’s needs.
14. When you need to put your baby down somewhere, put him/her on the floor. He/she can’t fall off the floor.
15. Don’t take on the entire process of caring for your child. Relinquish control once in a while, and let your partner help you.

 

Caring for Yourself
16. Be clear about visitation parameters. Everyone will want to see you and the new baby, but you need time to rest.
17. If you need something, ask for it! You aren’t superhuman, and people want to help.
18. Take a little guilt-free “me” time for yourself every day.
19. If someone asks how they can help you, ask them to bring food. The more meals you have stocked in the freezer, the less time and energy you have to spend making dinner.
20. Let go of perfection. When your baby is sleeping, you should sleep too – don’t use the time to clean the house or run errands.
For more than 25 years, Philips AVENT, the number one bottle brand in the world, has been a trusted partner from pregnancy through toddlerhood, giving parents the confidence to choose the products that support their baby’s developing needs. Learn more at http://www.philips.us/avent or visit Philips AVENT’s new Facebook page for more tips and advice.

You Have More Time Than You Think

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Author Laura Vanderkam, whose new book “168 Hours: You Have More Time Than You Think,” helps busy people find time they didn’t know they had, joined eight mom bloggers on TheMotherhood to talk about getting organized and streamlining their lives.

 

From outsourcing chores to writing lists of personal dreams, the participants enjoyed a lively discussion focused on finding the time both to be more productive and to pursue hobbies and interests.

 

Check out a summarized version of the Talk below – or read on if you have time!  A BIG thank-you to Laura and all of the wise and wonderful hosts and participants for a great conversation!

 

Fill in the Blank: “I spend way too much time on ____________!”

 

Worrying! Thinking about what hasn’t been done instead of what has! (juliepippert)

 

I spend too much time each day searching for lost/misplaced items because I’m disorganized. It sucks. It’s where I’m at though. I have to get more organized. It’s stressful to be otherwise! (Brandie)

 

Brandie, maybe you can identify one area that you is the biggest time drain for you due to disorganization and allocate some time to organizing just that one area? (ProductiveMom)

 

The computer and personal reading time. (jneuman88)

 

Laundry is never ending, unless of course you are a nudist. Well, and the rest of your family is too. I accept laundry as my nemesis. (Deborah)

 

What Do You Want to Spend More Time Doing?

 

To me, time management isn’t just about shaving 5 minutes off our errands (though we’ll get to that). It’s about filling our lives with things that *deserve* our time. So a starter question: what do we want to have more of in our lives? What do we want to spend *more* time doing? Me: date night (particularly going out to eat — mmm!) with my husband. (laura vanderkam)

 

Date night here isn’t usually at night. It’s grocery shopping together in the afternoon or an after dinner walk, out for coffee at our favorite coffee house or even wine on the patio–sans kids. Thinking that our intention was to spend time together–as partners led to thinking why *Saturday night*? Saturday nights have never worked for us. (Deborah)

 

For me I want to be able to have a little time for myself without sacrificing time with my toddler… (Joy)

 

Spending more time with friends and learning Spanish. We sent an email out in August to 30 family/friends listing all of our open Sundays through December and started Sunday Suppers, asking them to each pick a night to join us. Dinner at 5:30, out the door by 7:30 (as it is a school night) and it’s been great. (Holland)

 

Making Time for Your Dreams

 

Laura has a great part in her book about writing down your 100 dreams. For anyone who has done this, or a similar bucket/goal list, have you ever asked your spouse or family what theirs are and how do theirs align with yours? (Holland)

 

We did a Summer Dreams list as a family and it worked out really well. We checked off almost everything on the list – and filled our summer hours with things that everyone enjoyed. (NancyS)

 

My husband and I created lists years ago and (surprisingly) had a bunch of fun doing it together … time to refresh! (Emily)

 

Finding Ways to Pursue Hobbies

 

I found when I put things on my calendar they got priority. So I schedule in “exercise” and “reading” time every day. Those are my fave hobbies. (juliepippert)

 

Interestingly, I find that when I take a little time in the morning to write in a journal, I am more focused on the important things in life. And more inspired to work on them. (altdotanise)

 

I try to concentrate my energy on a few personal passions, and then put them on the to-do list right next to the work/family ones… (laura vanderkam)

 

Mine (bad habit) has been diet and exercise for THE longest time. A few weeks ago I decided to change one very small thing each week and go from there. Something as simple as drinking more water one week and adding a new vegetable one week. I found that I’m less overwhelmed when it’s in tiny increments but they start to add up. (Holland)

 

I’m trying to get my kid more involved around the house. It’s easier to just do it myself, but they need the training and eventually it’ll free me up for other jobs they can’t do. (annaed)

 

Time Management

 

I’d say the phone is a big problem. It seems like I am always getting interrupted by a phone call from someone. I don’t feel comfortable turning it off in case it’s important but I don’t always want to answer it. (Ellen Christian)

 

Then don’t. I definitely screen my calls. (Deborah)

 

I try to direct people to my email. After a while, they “get” that I am faster on my email than my phone. (ProductiveMom)

 

I am able to manage my time better when I can trade skill for skill. Someone is better at the technical side of my blog/website and I’m great at declutter and streamlining home systems. (Holland)

 

I also love making lists… keeps me focused and I love checking those to-do items off! (Joy)

 

I have a detailed schedule on our refrigerator with what time everything needs to get done. Breakfast, cleanup, get dressed, snack time, nap time, etc….It is LARGE and I find that if I tell me toddlers that “The schedule says we need to take a nap now” it is more likely to be followed than if I tell them myself. (MommyInstincts)

 

My time saver is sleeping more! I’ve just recently discovered that I really do need eight hours of sleep a night, and the days I actually manage to get that much, I am so much more productive! (Emily)

 

The Book

 

Big primary take-away is to try logging your time for a week. Most of us have no idea where our 168 hours go, or how we allocate them to different activities. Keeping a time diary is like keeping a food journal. Keeps us honest! (laura vanderkam)

 

Did someone say there was a chart to download? (annaed)

 

You can find it here annaed http://www.my168hours.com/time-management-spreadsheet.html (Brandie)

 

Mom-Recommended Apps for Organization

 

–       Remember the Milk

–       Toodledo

–       CalenGoo

–       Cozi

–       Teux Deux

 

 

The Hosts

 

The talented and time-conscious mom bloggers who co-hosted the Talk were:

 

Joy Charde, Creative Mama

Ellen Christian, Confessions of an Overworked Mom

Grace Hester, The Productive Mom

Deborah King, Apples in Wonderland

Brandie Langer, Journey of 1000 Stitches

Trisha Novotny, 24/7 Moms

Julie Pippert, Using My Words

Holland Saltsman, Life Simplified for You

 

 

See the original Talk here: http://tmotherhood.wpengine.com/talk/show/id/62079

Postpartum Sadness, Depression and Anxiety

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Here in TheMotherhood, we are continually awed by the collective wisdom of moms and how we help each other to make things a little better every day.

 

Yesterday, we saw this goodness in action in a really big way.

 

We hosted a live chat on postpartum depression and anxiety, led by experts and mom bloggers who went through PPD themselves. The love and support and information shared were incredibly valuable and beautiful.

 

And, so many of the important facts shared AREN’T WIDELY KNOWN.

 

We all need to know how widespread postpartum depression and anxiety is (up to 20% of moms get it), that it can appear during pregnancy, immediately afterwards or even months and months after childbirth.

 

PPD doesn’t always look like depression. Sometimes it can manifest as anxiety and/or OCD behavior and compulsions.

 

There are drugs you can take while breastfeeding.

 

And most importantly, as the wonderful Katherine Stone said, for everyone going through it, you need to know that PPD is TEMPORARY and TREATABLE. You will feel better, and these amazing, loving women are here to help and support you.

 

Katherine Stone, who blogs at the widely read Postpartum Progress, led the conversation and was joined by clinical psychologist Dr. Shoshana Bennett, and four stellar mom bloggers, Lauren Hale, Amber Koter-Puline, Alexis Lesa and Victoria Mason.

 

Following are some quotes from the conversation. (Really, though, they are just a sampling. Read the whole chat and be sure to click on “view all comments” under each post – on the “symptoms of PPD” post, for example, there are 22 comments.)

 

 

You Will Not Always Feel Like This

 

I want to kick off by saying the most important thing about postpartum depression and anxiety, or any mental illness related to pregnancy, childbirth and new motherhood: It’s not your fault, and what you have is TEMPORARY and TREATABLE. (Katherine Stone)

 

You will be yourself again, and will be *honestly* happy again. You will love life, love being a mom, and love your kids… it is TEMPORARY! And support is here.  (Kim Rogers)

 

PPD creates a different person within the person. When I was at my worst, I felt like someone else was living in my body, and it was the most frightening thing I’d ever experienced. But it was even more horrifying when I thought that the things I was doing was because of the person I was. When I finally realized that the PPD was causing very different actions and reactions than my normal self would do, my attitude toward myself changed a lot. (Alexis Lesa)

 

 

You Are Not Alone

 

Hugs here too. I had four bouts of PPD, and made it through. You WILL survive this. Keep in touch with women here, you will get better. (mindimer)

 

I suffered from this after the birth of my first son and during my pregnancy with my second son and after his birth. It was a long battle … I am doing much better. I think it is so important to spread the word about this and how it isn’t just a few weeks of the “blues.” (Shannon)

 

I would want moms suffering right now to know that it won’t always be so dark and hopeless. You aren’t alone. More and more moms are sharing their experiences and reaching out to other moms. As we do this, it increases awareness, builds support, and we can also help encourage each other to seek good professional help. (lauren-hale)

 

1 in 8 new moms in the US develops a Postpartum Mood Disorder. (lauren-hale)

 

While the CDC states that approx. 12% of women get PPD, we believe the numbers are much higher. After all, the CDC’s numbers are based on self-reported cases, and many women never report their illness. I believe it’s around 20%. And in areas where there is high poverty, it’s 25%. (Katherine Stone)

 

 

You Are Not Weak

 

Feeling vulnerable isn’t weakness. Those of us who have “been there” certainly understand what it feels like to be shaky after a depression or anxiety, when we didn’t feel shaky before. If the level of fear is high, or you find yourself obsessing about it, talk with someone with expertise who can reassure you. Often with this extra bit of education you can learn to self-calm instantly. (Dr. Shosh)

 

It was really hard to admit that I was so depressed, but such a relief once I got help. I was treated with meds and saw a therapist briefly. I still see this as one of my strongest moments, not my weakest. (Holly)

 

 

Don’t Be Afraid to Ask for Help

 

If the normal, mild Baby Blues aren’t gone by about 3 weeks postpartum and they linger, get help. Also, if the severity of the symptoms get in the way of your daily life, even if it’s immediately following the delivery, don’t wait – get help right away. If a woman isn’t able to sleep AT NIGHT when her baby is sleeping, this is also a warning sign to get help now. (Dr. Shosh)

 

It’s such a tough road to travel, especially when the therapy you’ve tried isn’t working. It’s so crucial to communicate with your caregivers about how things are going. Remaining silent only hurts you. Your caregivers are only able to help you with what you share. (lauren-hale)

 

Where I used to live, there was a wonderful support group that I attended, and it was great! I still stay in contact with the nurse who runs it as well as a couple of the other moms. (Nicole)

 

I’d love them to know two things: don’t be afraid, ashamed to seek help and also there is a long life ahead and PPD is a bump in the road of life and can be a maturing experience from which to draw depth & strength later on in life. (Kathy Morelli)

 

Sometimes women hesitate to reach out and seek help/treatment because they find themselves on a roller coaster daily, hourly or even by the minute. Feeling like your emotions are not easy to regulate right now is definitely something I would encourage you to share with your doctor. (Amber Koter)

 

 

PPD Can Develop Anytime

 

Can PPD develop months after birth? (Sara)

 

Absolutely! It did for me both times. I would hit the two month mark and BAM! I’m six week post-birth right now with my third and getting a little freaked out. I keep waiting for it to hit me like a truck. (Victoria Mason)

 

Yes. It can show up in the first couple of months, but some women don’t get it, or don’t notice it, until much later. (Katherine Stone)

 

PPD can begin any time within the first year following delivery. But, there’s nothing to be afraid of – you just need a wellness strategy. (Dr. Shosh)

 

There’s a huge difference between postpartum depression (PPD) and postpartum psychosis (PPP). If PPP is going to occur, it typically is there within the first month (it usually begins within the first few days following delivery). As long as you’re working with an MD – preferably a psychiatrist – who has expertise in this field, don’t be concerned with being on two antidepressants. Hopefully you’re also working with someone to help you with a comprehensive wellness plan including nutrition, sleep, exercise, and the right types of support. (Dr. Shosh)

 

 

Give Yourself Time

 

The best advice my mom gave me in the thick of it all was to stop watching the clock. Once I did, such a weight lifted off my shoulders. After all, if you’re not watching the clock, the clock can’t “watch” you! (lauren-hale)

 

It’s important to know that there is no exact timeline for recovery. The length of time it takes to get better depends on so many things: the severity of your illness, how much support you have, how long you had the illness before you reached out for help, how effective the treatment is that you are taking. Make sure not to compare your recovery to anyone else’s (not that you are). Instead, keep communicating with your doctor about your symptoms so he or she can see if the plan you have is working or if changes need to be made. (Katherine Stone)

 

It can take a mom with no events after birth up to 2 years to fully recover emotionally and physically after the birth of a child. Recovery is such a slippery slope with no real time frame. It depends on you, the success of the therapy you’re involved in, what’s going on, what continues to happen with you, etc. (lauren-hale)

 

 

Planning Another Pregnancy After PPD

 

It’s important to find a specialist in perinatal mental health whenever possible – otherwise it can be so frustrating (as you’ve already experienced)! With an excellent plan of action for your next pregnancy, you can help minimize – and often prevent – another episode. (Dr. Shosh)

 

Having another child after postpartum is a very personal decision. I would recommend reading “What Am I Thinking: Having a Baby After Postpartum” by Karen Kleiman. As for how to deal with it while pregnant, Dr. Shosh has an excellent book – “Pregnant on Prozac” which addresses this issue better than any book I’ve ever read. (lauren-hale)

 

Research does show that you have an increased risk of getting it again if you’ve had it once, but that’s not a guarantee. The best thing to do would be to work with a psychiatrist or other perinatal mental health specialist to create a plan and look out for you. (Katherine Stone)

 

 

Take Care of Yourself

 

Remembering to care for yourself (which is not a selfish act, as well mama=well baby and family) is very important. Considering what activities and types of support would benefit you and then seeking that out is sometimes overwhelming when sad and fatigued but worth the effort. Exercise, time alone, getting outdoors, taking vitamins and supplements that will improve your health and have shown mental health benefits (such as B and D vitamins and omega-3s), etc. can make a huge difference. Of course, these efforts are many times just supplements to the treatment plan your doctor will offer (which may or may not include medications, therapy, etc.). (Amber Koter)

 

I have had great results with Celexa. And as corny as this sounds- exercise has been a lifesaver for me. I go out for a run or a walk or to the gym and it saves me. I journaled the first time around too. I talked with a lot of women in the same boat online as well. (Victoria Mason)

 

Talk to a psychiatrist. They can usually help you find the right prescription/dosage. It’s not an exact science, so sometimes it takes more than one try. (Alexis Lesa)

 

The truth is that different meds work differently for different people. So what one person says worked for them on this forum really doesn’t matter. Your body is unique. That’s why you have to talk continuously and openly about your symptoms and side effects. Also, if you feel your doc isn’t listening or you are getting nowhere, it’s ok to get a new one. You can always ask one of us who the specialists are, as there may be one in your area. (Katherine Stone)

 

 

The wonderful women who co-hosted the Talk were:
Katherine Stone
Blog: Postpartum Progress: www.postpartumprogress.com
Email: stonecallis@gmail.com
Twitter: @postpartumprogr
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Postpartum-Progress/140443741228
Shoshana Bennett, Ph.D., Clinical Psychologist
Website: http://drshosh.com
Email: DrShosh@DrShosh.com
Twitter: @DrShosh
Lauren B. Hale
Blog: My Postpartum Voice http://www.mypostpartumvoice.com
Twitter chats every Monday at 1pm & 830pm EST at #PPDChat
Email: mypostpartumvoice@gmail.com
Twitter: @unxpctdblessing
Victoria Mason
Blog: The Mummy Chronicles http://www.themummychronicles.com
Email: veamason@gmail.com
Twitter: @Veamason
Amber Koter-Puline
Blog: Beyond Postpartum http://www.atlantappdmom.blogspot.com/
Email: atlantamom930@gmail.com
Twitter: @atlantamom
Alexis Lesa
Blog: Depressions and Confessions http://www.depressionsandconfessions.com/
Email: alexistlesa@gmail.com
Twitter: @alexistlesa
Resources for You and Your Partner

 

List of PPD and PPA Symptoms http://www.postpartumprogress.com/weblog/2009/11/the-symptoms-of-postpartum-depression-anxiety-in-plain-mama-english-1.html
The Edinburgh assessment is available here, as well as a phone number for depression support: http://www.virtua.org/health/depression-and-pregnancy/overview.aspx
The Postpartum Dads Project: http://postpartumdadsproject.org/
Postpartum Support International hosts a once monthly free call just for dads to get information and support. Find out more here: http://postpartum.net/Get-Help/PSI-Chat-with-an-Expert.aspx#chats_for_men
Been-there dad blog: http://www.daddysdown.com
Dr. Courtenay’s site for men with Paternal Postnatal Depression: http://www.saddaddy.com

 

 

See the original Talk here: http://tmotherhood.wpengine.com/talk/show/id/62052

Getting Back to the Table with Libby’s and Hannah Keeley

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Hannah Keeley, host of the TV show Hannah Help Me!, led a chat on TheMotherhood about the importance of “getting back to the table” with your family to spend quality time together during meals.  She was joined by 10 co-hosts and a number of participants who attended Libby’s lunch events across the country to create dinner kits for families in need.

 

The conversation covered a number of topics, from ways to make family dinners happen to setting mealtime rules – and everything in between.  Read on for excerpts from the Talk, or read the whole conversation to see all of the wonderful ideas!

 

Thank you to Hannah and all of the co-hosts and participants!  Your conversation has provided plenty of food for thought around family dinners!

 

 

Getting Creative

 

Do any of you ever do theme nights at the table? They make dinnertime sooo much fun! I will base it around what the kids are learning in school sometimes. We did Greek night one time — wore togas, ate Greek food on the floor and listened to Greek music. The kids had a blast (and so did I)! (Hannah Keeley)

 

Sometimes we have “Morning Nights” and we have pancakes, eggs, bacon, crepes, etc for dinner. The boys LOVE it! (Alaina, Dinker & Giggles)

 

We have a glass table, so I let my son write the menu on the table with window crayons. We’ll also draw fun placemats as well. (Tracie)

 

A good spinoff of that would be to cover the table with butcher paper like they do at restaurants and let them color on it! (Candy, Mommypalooza)

 

Another great way to make dinner more fun is to ask open-ended questions around the table such as “If you were a superhero what would your special power be?” The kids love it and their answers are usually hilarious! (Hannah Keeley)

 

Have picky eaters? Here’s some tips: cut up the food into small pieces and give them a toothpick to eat it; allow special silverware or a cup for them to use. At least have them try it and tell you what they like/don’t like. We then offer ONE alternative – mom is not a short order cook. (Tracie, Penny Pinchin’ Mom)

 

A fun thing that we have done is have “switch night” where mommy and daddy use the kids plates, cups, and silverware and kids get to use mommy and daddy’s normal dinnerware. (Alaina, Dinker & Giggles)

 

Mealtime Rules

 

We do our best to put our phones away for dinner… Sometimes since we both run our own businesses it’s hard. If we need to use a phone we leave the table to take the call and we quickly let the caller know that we’re eating and that they will get a call back asap. As for the TV it is NEVER on during a meal. We often will put music on but only as a background. (Cara, This is Where I Come Up with Something Witty)

 

Get everyone involved in helping with clean-up and also emptying the dishwasher the next day, etc. I won’t use paper plates, but for those who do, there are some great biodegradable ones and more eco-friendly than others =) (Brandie)

 

Some kids bring toys to the table…we have a NO TOYS rule…what do you do at your house? (MyKCMommy)

 

We have a no toy rule too, however, my daughter used to be attached to this stuffed pig and she brought him to the table, set him a place, with his own chair. He was a part of our family so I just let it slide. (Sara, Momma Findings)

 

I have an 8-year-old who likes to be the center of attention for all the conversation. We started having a “talking candle” at our table. If the candle is in front of you, it is your turn to share about your day, or answer our conversation jar question. It helps to halt the constant interruptions! (Kristen, Dine&Dish)

 

I run a child care and have a rule that we *have* to remain seated for 30 minutes, even if their plates are clean. It’s something that I think is a benefit to my family – and theirs. I’m excited to hear more one this topic! (Anti-Supermom)

 

Overcoming Dinner Obstacles

 

My biggest obstacle, and it is so silly, is remembering to take things out of the freezer to thaw… like meat or a meal I made ahead of time. Seriously – that is my biggest obstacle with dinner and I run into it all the time! (Kristen, Dine&Dish)

 

This is so simple it is silly, but anyone else have a hard time keeping their dining table cleared? I have now made it a priority to clean up all projects, crafts, mail, etc. from the table *before* I even start dinner preparations. We’re more likely to sit down then. (Anjanette, Eat From Your Pantry)

 

Making Family Dinners Happen

I usually have 2-3 freezer meals ready to go. Soups, frozen taco meat, spaghetti sauce, etc. It helps when you have that moment of “WHERE DID MY DAY GO!” (Kelly, Kansas City Mamas)

 

When I go grocery shopping, I tend to buy whatever is on sale and plan my meals accordingly. (icefairy)

 

Always have “go to” ingredients so that you can fall back on them. If you have fresh veggies and frozen chicken breasts, then you can throw together a big salad with grilled chicken breast strips or take a can of cream of chicken soup, some rice and chicken and make a casserole. (Shannon, Potamus Prefers)

 

Crock pot in the morning! LOL! Except I often don’t remember. I love allrecipes.com – you can also search by ingredients so that’s nice! (Brandie)

 

Plan, plan, plan! Otherwise you’ll have the 5 pm meltdown. (Hannah Keeley)

 

I do a weekly meal plan – it makes shopping so much easier and less expensive. I try to do one poultry night, beef night, vegetarian night, fish night, leftovers night, and a freebie night ( homemade pizza, breakfast. etc.) We usually eat out one night a week (on Saturday). (ctcwriter)

 

Getting the Kids Involved

 

I have my kids plates low enough that they can “pick their plate” and they LOVE that! Also their cups are within reach and they can get their own water out of the fridge door…that makes them feel involved! (MyKCMommy)

 

I let the kids make their own plates (with non-toxic paint, of course). They can draw whatever they want, write their names on them, whatever. It makes eating more exciting! (Hannah Keeley)

 

I like to ask my kids to choose meal items. I give them options, corn or beans? Chicken or beef? They get to choose their salad dressing too! I also involve them in helping to set the table! They LOVE to help and it keeps them busy while I’m trying to get dinner on the table. (Cara, This is Where I Come Up with Something Witty)

 

When I have my children help me set the table, it also makes them more of a part of the meal. It leads to them wanting to sit down at the place they set. Plus – MOM doesn’t have to do it all! (Tracie, Penny Pinchin’ Mom)
Part of my menu planning routine is letting each kiddo who can speak (my two boys) pick what’s on the menu for one night a week. Usually it’s beef stroganoff or something else I don’t care too much for but they love it and eat it so I make it! And they take ownership of that meal that they picked and planned so it makes it fun for them too! (Candy, Mommypalooza)

 

I always enjoy participating in food drives and getting my children involved. I think when kids realize others go hungry, they may appreciate what’s on their own plate more. (1Chef)

 

 

 

The Hosts

 

The incredible mamas who co-hosted the Talk were:

 

Alaina, Dinker & Giggles
Anjanette, Eat From Your Pantry
Candy, Mommypalooza
Cara, This Is Where I Come Up With Something Witty
Crystal, Simply Being Mommy
Jenn, SuperJenn
Kelly, Kansas City Mamas
Kim, ClumberKim
Kristen, Dine and Dish
Rachel, Following in My Shoes
Shannon, Potamus Prefers
Tracie, Penny Pinchin’ Mom

 

You can sign up for Libby’s Virtual Canned Food Drive here: http://help.feedingamerica.org/site/TR?fr_id=1130&pg=entry

 

 

See the original Talk here: http://tmotherhood.wpengine.com/talk/show/id/62073

 

Babies and Children: How Smart Are They, Really?

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Alison Gopnik, author of “The Philosophical Baby: What Children’s Minds Tell Us About Truth, Love and The Meaning of Life,” and professor of psychology at University of California at Berkeley, joined forces with seven mom bloggers on themotherhood.com to lead a Talk about baby brain power.

 

The conversation opened a door into minds of our children – with some surprising and interesting revelations!  Read further to learn about how babies perceive their surroundings, develop language skills and learn.

 

Alison and co-hosts, thanks for your incredible insights!

 

 

Working with Babies

 

The scientific problem was that we can’t talk to babies directly, and even with young children, when we ask what they think, we’re likely to get a beautiful story about ponies and birthdays. So we have to look at what babies do and where they look instead of what they say. (Alison Gopnik)

 

Much of what we’ve discovered are things that moms and other caregivers suspected intuitively all along. Things like the idea that your baby can recognize you, or responds to your emotions. But we couldn’t prove all that scientifically until quite recently.  For instance, we could put a baby in a cradle with speakers on either side and play mom’s voice in one speaker and another mother’s voice in the other speaker.  Then we can see whether the babies turn towards their mom’s voice – and in the first MONTH of life, they do. (Alison Gopnik)

 

 

Infant Language Development

 

This is a great chat! We have a lab at Carnegie Mellon that studies infant language and learning. My kids have been research subjects, and the lab director has given talks at the campus childcare center. http://www.psy.cmu.edu/~thiessen/home.html (Clumber Kim)

 

When we talk to babies, we all use a funny voice called “motherese,” sort of high-pitched and exaggerated. We can’t help it even if we try! It turns out that that funny voice actually makes the sounds of language easier to learn. So naturally and unconsciously, we’re helping babies to learn how their language works. (Alison Gopnik)

 

The data about signing are complicated.  Babies are very good at understanding gestures at a very early age, and they can certainly learn to sign easily, and it’s fun. There’s no very good evidence that it makes them smarter or better at spoken language later. (Alison Gopnik)

 

We did a lot of sign language with my second daughter because of a speech delay that was diagnosed as a toddler. Yet despite the speech delay (apraxia) she still had excellent language comprehension – sign language gave her an additional way to express herself when the words wouldn’t come out. (mommystory)

 

Like anything, it’s the parental involvement more than what is being done. If you use sign language, you probably talk and connect with your child more. (albertamel)

 

 

Infant Learning

 

There are some nice recent studies in our lab (you can find them on my Web site, www.alisongopnik.com) that show that babies are using the same methods as scientists. They pay attention to statistical patterns, they experiment (we call it play) and they learn from the experiments of others (we call it imitating). And they even make up wild hypotheses about how other people work (we call it pretend play). (Alison Gopnik)

 

Often when moms hear how much babies can learn, they think, “I should be more like a school teacher – crack out the flash cards, etc.”  But that’s just the opposite of what the studies show. The best learning comes through playing with someone who loves you. (Alison Gopnik)

 

Makes sense – I don’t know anyone who prefers to learn in a flash card manner. Make learning part of playing and it comes more naturally! (mommystory)

 

And we’ve also discovered things about babies that even mothers would never have suspected. Even babies, for example, have a first grasp of numbers and can do statistical analyses of what they see! (Alison Gopnik)

 

Its important to say that number learning, and all the rest of the great learning that goes on, is happening just in the course of babies’ everyday activities – counting games, playing with blocks, putting together mixing bowls. So just using number words with a young child can help them learn. (Alison Gopnik)

 

Yes, I’ve totally found this to be true! I counted everything (puffs, toys, etc) even when my little one was tiny and later she picked it up quickly! (Sarah)

 

 

Infant Perception

 

Even very young babies will look longer at unexpected events or events that don’t fit a pattern they expect to happen. That’s one of the best ways we have of finding out about them. (Alison Gopnik)

 

So by asking the babies in their language (facial expression, tone of voice, etc.), and letting them answer by what they did instead of what they said, we showed that even these little ones could take someone else’s point of view, and help them to get what they wanted. (Alison Gopnik)

 

I was amazed when we took our baby to another country and she responded to people so well – even though she didn’t speak the language. She was relying on facial expressions, tone of voice and such, and was communicating with them! (Melissa)

 

I agree with you, Melissa. My boys, when they were babies – and even now, as they are older – were always exposed to my husband’s relatives that spoke only Spanish, and they were able to have communications and relationships with them that I couldn’t. The facial communications and sounds transcend the language barriers. (Kimberly at PPM)

 

 

The Hosts

 

The incredible mamas who co-hosted the Talk were:

 

Bing Yuan, Ice Fairy’s Treasure Chest
Christina McMenemy, A Mommy Story
Joey Fortman, Real Mom in the Media
Kimberly Ortiz, Pretty Pink Momma
Liz, Goddess in Progress
Melissa Angert, girlymama
Rachel Matthews,  A Southern Fairytale
Victoria, Veep Veep

 

 

See the original Talk here: http://tmotherhood.wpengine.com/talk/show/id/62068

 

Living the Life of Your Dreams on a Budget

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Kelly Whalen, who blogs at The Centsible Life about her family goal of being debt-free by 2011, hosted a Talk on TheMotherhood with eight frugal and fabulous co-hosts to address the issue of living a good life on a budget.

 

During a diverse conversation ranging from methods of bill paying to the difference between being cheap and frugal, the group also covered a number of ways to maintain healthy finances.

 

Read on to learn how to set a budget, use coupons, save money and establish an emergency fund – and there is plenty of additional information in the Talk itself!  THANK YOU Kelly and co-hosts for a fun and informative chat!

 

 

Best Money-Saving Tips

 

Mine is to always make a list. I make a list for everything we buy – if it’s not on the list, I don’t buy it. (Kelly Whalen)

 

Wait. Whatever it is you think you just HAVE to have . . . wait. Chances are in a week you won’t really want it anyway. 2nd best tip? Cook at home, from scratch. (Jenn Fowler)

 

Leave the kids at home! For me, the more people come along, the more time and money I spend. (Kim at MMI)

 

Stock up when it is on sale! (Missy)

 

Buy with cash only for 6 months. After that, use credit card only if it can be paid off at the end of the month.  6 months of cash only will change how you think and behave with money. (Deborah)

 

My #1 money-saving tip is to always do your research before buying anything! Make sure that you’re getting the best deal for the quality that you want! (Jen)

 

 

Establishing a Budget

 

I would start by tracking what you’re spending now. Just carry a little notebook with you and write down every single penny you spend. It’s not fun, but it can be enlightening! (Kim at MMI)

 

We utilize Mint.com to track our spending, budget, etc. They also have a great saving feature. (Joy)

 

Switch to cash only and bring a calculator! That helped us out a lot! When you only have so much cash to spend you are really able to decide what you need and what you want! (Brandie)

 

I wrote a post called “How to make a budget in 5 steps” – (Jenn Fowler)

 

 

Organizing and Using Coupons

 

I like to use the binder system with baseball card inserts. It allows you to easily flip through and see what coupons you have and the expiration dates. (Mindi)

 

I keep it simple. I have two small accordion-type holders; one for grocery and one for drugstores/other. I carry them both and only cut coupons I know I’ll use, then print others as I see them on the blog match-ups. (Gina)

 

I like to organize my coupons by weeks. On the spine of the coupon inserts you get in the mail there are dates on them, so that is how you know which paper the insert came in! (Coupon Princess)

 

 

Ways to Pay Less

 

Don’t forget to always check for coupon codes/free shipping before you shop and to shop through a portal like Ebates. I earn cash back on every online purchase! (Gina)

 

Always sort through your mail. Recently I received FREE Chick Fil A coupons for a new store that opened up in my town. Also check bottom of store receipts, there are often coupons there too! (Coupon Princess)

 

I frequently find stickers for my kids inside junk mail! Always a nice surprise! (StephanieR)

 

I buy my daughter’s clothes at the season-end sale the year before. For example, I went to Target yesterday and bought her summer wear for 2011. Everything was 75% off!! (Danielle)

 

 

Creating an Emergency Savings Fund

 

We trick ourselves into savings – money is deducted into a separate account that we can’t touch easily. (Kelly Whalen)

 

Sock away every little “extra” bit of money – they call it snowflaking. If you get a raise of $20/week, don’t start spending it, just save it. You get a rebate in the mail, pay it to your savings acct. (Gina)

 

If at all possible, make it an automatic deduction from the paycheck – then you won’t have a chance to spend it. (Jenn Fowler)

 

Put any “found” money straight into savings. Could be from a gift, tax refund, inheritance, or side job. You can’t miss what you’ve never had. (Kim at MMI)

 

 

The Difference Between Frugal and Cheap

 

Cheap is buying junk, frugal is buying smart! I don’t consider myself cheap! (Coupon Princess)

 

Frugality means that you are mindfully purchasing and saving. Being cheap is just spending as little as possible. (Deborah)

 

Being cheap is always buying the lowest priced item, regardless of quality. Being frugal is seeking out high-quality items at the lowest price. (Mindi)

 

Frugal is cutting back on unnecessary things so you can buy what you love. Cheap is cutting back on everything. (albertamel)

 

When you are frugal you still live life to the fullest, you just make choices, prioritize, etc. Being cheap is saving money regardless of comfort, situation or even ethics. (Jenn Fowler)

 

 

The Hosts

 

The awesome frugalistas who co-hosted the Talk were:

 

Gina, Money Wise Moms
Jen, Thrifty Northwest Mom

Jenn, Frugal Upstate
Kim, Blogging for Change
Mindi, Moms Need To Know
Rachel, Surviving the Stores
Shannon, Coupon Princess
Stephanie, Couponing101

 

 

See the original Talk here: http://tmotherhood.wpengine.com/talk/show/id/62051