Just because breastfeeding is natural doesn’t always mean it’s easy.
There are moms frustrated by the fact that their baby isn’t latching, wondering, “What am I doing wrong?” And then there are the dilemmas about breastfeeding in public, using a breast pump, and managing toddlers while trying to nurse your baby.
We spoke about these and other issues today in The Motherhood with Nancy Holtzman, a mom & baby specialist, board certified lactation consultant and certified pediatric nurse. She was joined by Cindy Meltzer of Isis Parenting and a group of experienced breastfeeding advocates.
You don’t have to go it alone
“Breastfeeding moms need to not be afraid of asking for help,” pointed out Lani, Armytbonegirl. “It doesn’t matter if your baby is 2 days old, 2 months old, or 10 months old. If you need help with ANYTHING, ask.”
It will seem better in hindsight
Breastfeeding might not be a walk in the park for you, and that doesn’t mean you’re a bad mom. As Nancy Holtzman said, “New moms often hear, ‘Oh my dear, enjoy it while you can! These are the most wonderful days/years,’ and while they may nod, inside they might be thinking, ‘OMFG, THIS is it? Because this is freaking hard and frankly I am NOT enjoying it very much right now.'”
Getting started with breastfeeding
Getting the hang of nursing won’t happen overnight, and it won’t always be a comfortable experience. “Took me a good 6-8 weeks to figure it all out and feel confident and get the right technique,” said anniestow.
“Take advantage of nurses for help while you’re in the hospital. Set appointments with lactation consultants for follow up after you leave. Also: good breastfeeding pillow,” recommended Jessica, Don’t Mind the Mess.
“Support is essential! Find a peer group of other new moms and those who will be supportive of breastfeeding,” added Nancy Holtzman.
And there are books you can use as references, too. “I can’t tell you how many times I referenced ‘So That’s What They’re For’ in the beginning,” said Kara, Bravado! Designs. “At least twice a day.”
Overcoming breastfeeding discomfort
Remember to take care of yourself so you can take care of your baby. “I remember turning into a breastfeeding martyr,” said Roxanna of Everyday Treats. “I had cracked, bleeding nipples, cried through every feeding…until a lactation consultant told me to take a night off, and then I realized that I have to feel good in order to nurse well.”
Nancy Holtzman recommended several products for healing sore and/or cracked nipples: a Nipple Shield worn during feeding, and a Breast Shell, worn over your nipples inside your bra, to allow air to flow and prevent anything from pressing on the nipples. “These breast shells can be very helpful to help heal sore nipples sooner,” she said.
“Another product that saved me during my sore/cracked nipple stage: The Lansinoh Soothies. They’re gel pad that you can reuse and helped my skin get back to normal,” added Roxanna of Everyday Treats.
Nursing in public
Location can make a difference when it comes to nursing outside the privacy of your home. “I’m happy and almost eager to nurse in public when we’re in a very public place, like a park or a store,” said Megan, The Other Baby Book. “But in a semi-private place, I’m a little more shy. Like, dinner parties, or over a friend’s house in mixed company…especially if I know other women are bottle feeding or their husbands feel awkward about it.”
For public spaces, “I carried a cover at first, but as long as I was wearing a tank underneath my clothes (I didn’t want to show my tummy) it wasn’t an issue,” said Roxanna, Everyday Treats. “I’ve nursed in restaurants, planes, malls, churches … people really didn’t notice. Or rather, I didn’t look at people (i.e., seek out eye contact) so I never noticed.”
Crystal of Expat Bostonians took a different approach. “I’ve never used a blanket, and I’ve never been harassed,” she said, but she still keeps “a copy of the 50 state’s laws with me. I’ve never actually had someone give me attitude, but knowing I have them printed out and with me makes me feel stronger.”
Nursing among friends
At gatherings of family and friends, some women are more comfortable with leaving the room and nursing in private, but you don’t necessarily need to separate yourself from the group. “When we had visitors I told them they were welcome to come over as long as they weren’t squirrelly over the possibility of seeing my boob,” noted Christine, Boston Mamas. “I was not going to relegate myself elsewhere in my own house!”
Added Stephanie, Exclusively Pumping, “I would often make a ‘grand announcement’ to let everyone know I was feeding my daughter. If they had issues with it, they were welcome to leave.”
“It can be hard when guests (especially family) are not supportive or make you feel awkward,” Charlene, Charlene Chronicles acknowledged. She recommended, “Pick the battles, and when you have to excuse, [use the time for] reading, catching up on email, talking to friends or tweeting.”
Bottle feeding and the “pumping zone”
You can pump breast milk and use it to bottle feed your baby – especially if you’re a working mom or you just want a break once in a while while your significant other handles the feeding.
“I cannot recommend enough the Simple Wishes bustier. Hands free pumping action = awesome. Cindy Meltzer from Isis bossed me into buying it,” said Christine of Boston Mamas.
For those experiencing pumping discomfort, “I suggest trying a fingertip dab of Olive Oil to lubricate the breast pump flange tunnel when pumping rather than lanolin,” suggested Nancy Holtzman. “Lanolin is thick and sticky and not very good at reducing friction. Olive oil is thin and slippery and a healthy skin conditioner.”
Nancy went on, “introducing the bottle seems to work best between weeks 3 – 5. Babies are interested in sucking and if there’s milk coming out, even better. Most babies take the bottle fairly easily at that stage.”
Keeping toddler siblings busy while breastfeeding
What to do when you’re breastfeeding baby and your toddler wants to play? “Television,” said Cindy Meltzer of Isis Parenting. “I’m not kidding, and I’m not ashamed. It’s not forever and my kid is not a TV watching zombie as a result. But boy was it a lifesaver in those early months of bfing my daughter.”
Charlene of Charlene Chronicles added, “I’ve heard to have a basket nearby with only toys that the toddler can play with when you are BFing. They get to play with the ‘special basket’. And just rotate the toys out. Doesn’t have to be expensive things. Even dollar store stuff.”
Additional Resources
You can ask Nancy Holtzman additional breastfeeding questions on her weekly Isis Parenting Breastfeeding Webinar, every Thursday at 12 PM (ET). Using the same link, you can view recorded topics on demand.
