The Motherhood

Sweet Treats

March 9, 2011 by The Motherhood

Women came to TheMotherhood on March 9, 2011, to chat about a very popular and tasty topic: Sweet Treats!

The class was sponsored by ConAgra Foods and led by food blogger favorites Julie Mastbrook (Mommie Cooks) and Kristen Doyle (Dine and Dish).

http://youtu.be/8e5X4DaOHW4

Keep reading for mouth-watering recipes for desserts on any occasion!

Desserts: Everyday occurrence or special occasion?

“We have dessert maybe once a week,” said co-host Monet Moutrie, Anecdotes and Apple Cores. “I don’t want to be feeding the family sugary treats all the time, but it is great to have something special during the week.”

On the other hand, participant Brandie and her family “have dessert almost every single night! But sometimes it’s fruit, applesauce, etc … not always cookies or cake.”

Kid-friendly dessert recipes

The hosts, along with many of the co-hosts and participants in the class, provided dessert recipes that are easy and fun for kids to help in creating.

Hosts Kristen Doyle, Dine and Dish, and Julie Mastbrook, Mommie Cooks, shared a recipe for Apple Popcorn Brittle from the ConAgra website: http://www.conagrafoods.com/recipes-Apple-Popcorn-Brittle-3474.html

For nutella crepes, kids “can help spread the nutella and sprinkle powdered sugar,” said co-host Cheryl Sousan, Tidy Mom: http://tidymom.net/2010/nutella-crepes/

“My kids had a ball helping to cut out these doughnuts!” reported host Kristen. http://dineanddish.net/2011/02/selfish-mama-recipe-homemade-yeast-doughnuts/

For making chocolate cupcakes without dirtying every dish in the kitchen, try this recipe from co-host Kaitlin Flannery, Whisk Kid: http://whisk-kid.blogspot.com/2010/02/peel.html “It needs just one bowl!” she said.

Co-host Kim Kopp, Quit Eating Out, suggested peanut butter cup cookies: http://quiteatingout.blogspot.com/2010/12/saturday-swap-peanut-butter-cup-cookies.html “They can roll the cookies and put the candy in the center,” she said.

“Something like these truffles is good because they can roll the mixture into balls … not a lot to mess up, and kids enjoy it because it’s fun and uncomplicated,” said co-host Kristan Roland, Confessions of a Cookbook Queen: http://www.confessionsofacookbookqueen.com/2011/03/thin-mint-truffles.html – “Also…no raw eggs or anything so I don’t have to worry about my son licking his fingers or eating any of it!!!”

“Animal crackers are the new favorite in our house,” said host Julie, providing a link to the recipe: http://www.mommiecooks.com/2011/03/04/homemade-animal-crackers/

“My son is an expert cookie-roller, so any time we make Mexican Wedding Cookies, I give him the job of rolling the dough into the little balls, which is perfect since it’s one of the tasks I’m not as fond of,” said co-host Cate O’Malley, Sweetnicks: http://sweetnicks.com/weblog/2008/05/just-desserts-mexican-wedding-cakes/

“We love S’mores cupcakes,” reported Robyn Stone, Add a Pinch: http://addapinch.com/cooking/2011/03/08/smores-cupcakes/

And “my li’l one loves these no bake s’mores,” added participant Prerna Singh: http://www.indiansimmer.com/2010/12/christmas-with-no-bake-frozen-smores.html

Co-host Monet said her “favorite dessert to make with kids are these amazing sour cream cut out cookies. They are HEAVENLY.”
http://anecdotesandapples.weebly.com/1/post/2010/11/sour-cream-cut-out-cookies1.html

“This is ALWAYS a huge hit,” said participant Dionne Baldwin of her monkey bread recipe. Her daughter has “been making this since she was 5.” http://tryanythingonce.wordpress.com/2011/03/08/theres-a-kid-in-my-kitchen-and-monkey-bread-too/

To round out the list, co-host Kaitlin offered up “a lot of great kid in the kitchen ideas in the newest issue of Sweet Paul.” http://athome.kimvallee.com/2011/03/sweet-paul-magazine-spring-2011-edition/

Desserts on the go

Whether you’re making treats for the classroom in honor of your child’s birthday, bringing desserts to a party or just need a treat to grab and go while running errands with your kids, here are some options for portable sweets.

“Cake pops, cookie pops, anything on a stick is generally loved!” said participant Karyn.

Agreed host Julie, “This year I made a big cookies for Alex’s class party as they don’t really appreciate cupcakes because of the crumbs.”

“I also like to bake a batch of cookies, make a bowl of frosting and let the kiddos spread a thick layer of frosting between two cookies…cookie sandwiches! Yummy and fun!” said co-host Monet. “Here is the recipe that I used for this particular batch, but you can try all different varieties.”
http://anecdotesandapples.weebly.com/1/post/2011/02/apple-buttercream-cookies.html

“Chocolate pumpkin muffins are a big hit here,” added co-host Cheryl. http://tidymom.net/2009/flavor-of-the-month-pumpkin/

But for co-host Cate, “cupcakes are usually my go-to treat of choice, because with those cupcake carriers, it’s super simple to carry in. One of our favorites are these Malted Ball Cupcakes.” http://sweetnicks.com/weblog/2009/04/malted-milk-ball-cupcakes/

Co-host Kaitlin had a great suggestion for a cupcake carrier: http://www.amazon.com/Cupcake-Courier-36-Cupcake-Plastic-Container/dp/B000XPOPXA

And Kristen remembered “in 3rd grade, a classmate’s mom brought in cupcakes in an ice cream cone. Those made quite an impression!”

On the other hand, “we can only bring store bought desserts for my son’s class, and now they want them to be ‘healthy’ – any good ideas for that?” asked participant Mandy.

Co-host Robyn Stone, Add a Pinch, said she had a similar experience, and “the moms set up a smoothie station and helped the kids make their own versions. They had a blast!”

Desserts “lightened up”

When you feel like something sweet without the calories (and the guilt), there are plenty of places to turn.

For desserts calling for whipped cream, Cooper Munroe, TheMotherhood, noted that fat-free Reddi-wip is a great option.

A number of participants also raved about the way mashed frozen bananas taste like ice cream, and participant Kayla S. said she loves adding Peter Pan peanut butter to the mix for protein.

“When the weather gets a bit warmer, I’m all over sorbet,” added host Julie. “Sweet and delicious with none of the guilt!” She provided this recipe for blackberry and blueberry sorbet: http://www.mommiecooks.com/2010/06/09/blackberry-blueberry-sorbet/

And “popsicles, homemade and store-bought, are a hit all year long” in participant Anti-Supermom’s house.

For baked goods recipes, “I try to remove some of the guilt by using greek yogurt in any recipe calling for sour cream or heavy cream,” said co-host Dennis Littley, More Than a Mountfull.

“Another great tip to lighten up recipes, is to prepare you muffin tins and cake pans with PAM instead of butter,” noted co-host Robyn.

“I love using raw sugar and agave nectar, too, to move away from white sugar,” added co-host Jennifer McGlinn.

Some participants suggested using applesauce as a healthy replacement for part of the butter or oil in a recipe, but Monet had a more unique tip: “One of my favorite ways to lighten desserts is to sub avocado for butter!”

Kaitlin at Whisk Kid agreed, “I love avocado!” and provided a recipe for cupcakes that use avocado: http://whisk-kid.blogspot.com/2010/05/green.html

“I haven’t experimented much with substituting with sweets so we just have smaller portions,” said participant Dionne Baldwin. “Or even a chocolate cupcake with applesauce and no frosting, now THAT I have done. The kids love it. They say it tastes like there is frosting inside!”

“My husband and son LOVE this” lighter recipe for chocolate cheesecake squares, according to co-host Bridget Edwards, Bake at 350: http://bakeat350.blogspot.com/2011/01/lightish-chocolate-cheesecake-squares.html

“And these low fat apple cakes taste like mini apple donuts. So good!” added co-host Monet: http://anecdotesandapples.weebly.com/1/post/2010/02/low-fat-apple-cakes.html

“Lately, I’ve been making yogurt parfaits with apples and pears that I’ve sauteed a bit with cinnamon and maple syrup,” suggested co-host Cate. “Layer it with vanilla yogurt and granola and it’s a healthy, guilt-free dessert!”

“Here’s one of my fave light and healthy recipes: Mini Chocolate Chip cookies (1 WW PointsPlus per cookie),” said co-host Kim: http://quiteatingout.blogspot.com/2011/03/ww-mini-chocolate-chip-cookies.html

Indulgent desserts

But sometimes, when a light dessert just won’t satisfy your sweet tooth, it’s necessary to break out the “indulgent” dessert recipes.

“This Deep Dark Chocolate Cake is about as perfect as it can be,” said host Kristen. http://dineanddish.net/2009/10/dealing-with-postpartum-depression-recipe-deep-dark-chocolate-cake/

Co-host Cheryl shared this recipe for Gooey Upside Down German Chocolate Cake: http://tidymom.net/2010/gooey-upside-down-german-chocolate-cake/

“Ice cream is my biggest weakness,” admitted co-host Kaitlin. “I really love this Coffee Crunch recipe.” http://whisk-kid.blogspot.com/2010/06/add.html

She added, “but I like this raspberry one when I’m in the mood for something ‘lighter.’” http://whisk-kid.blogspot.com/2010/08/make-raspberry-ice-cream.html

“This caramel apple cake does it for me every time,” said host Julie. http://www.mommiecooks.com/2011/02/11/family-friendly-fridays-caramel-apple-cake/

“And red velvet cake!!!” said co-host Robyn. http://addapinch.com/cooking/2010/11/07/red-velvet-cake/

“Cheesecake cupcakes are a nice treat,” noted co-host Dennis. http://www.morethanamountfull.com/2011/03/mini-lemon-cheesecakes-and-ask-chef.html

But, he added, “for a truly decadent easy dessert that screams americana, you can’t beat bread pudding.” http://www.morethanamountfull.com/search/label/Bread%20Pudding

Desserts to wow the crowd

When you have guests coming, but not a lot of time, you can still knock their socks off with these simple desserts that look like they took hours to create.

“Trifles… any kind of trifle! So pretty and beyond easy!” said host Kristen. “One of my faves – Strawberry Cheesecake Trifle.” http://dineanddish.squarespace.com/dine-and-dish-blog/2007/4/9/a-dessert-worth-destroying.html

“Definitely my Layered Walnut Pumpkin Pie,” said co-host Cheryl. http://tidymom.net/2009/love-the-pie-party-giveaways/

“This dessert takes you to the tropics!” added co-host Robyn of her caramelized bananas with coconut rum cream. “So EASY!” http://addapinch.com/cooking/2010/08/26/easy-banana-dessert-recipe-caramelized-bananas-with-coconut-rum-cream/

“I don’t know if this looks like I’ve been slaving away in the kitchen, but it’s EASY and decadent!” said co-host Bridget of her no-baking-no-mixing ice cream sandwich layered dessert. http://bakeat350.blogspot.com/2009/08/no-baking-no-mixing-no.html

Co-host Kim offered up a recipe for “super easy pound cake.” http://quiteatingout.blogspot.com/2010/08/chocolate-chip-pound-cake-ii.html

And if you have a little extra time, for a truly crowd-wowing dessert, try creating a six-layer rainbow cake like co-hosts Cate O’Malley, Sweetnicks, and Kaitlin Flannery, Whisk Kid. http://whisk-kid.blogspot.com/2009/08/say-it-with-cake.html

How to make a cheesecake

Making cheesecake can be a delicate operation, since cheesecakes are prone to cracking. Co-host Julie Mastbrook, Mommie Cooks, provided her top three tips for a foolproof cheesecake.

Tip 1: Letting your cream cheese reach room temperature before making the cheesecake will help avoid air bubbles in your cheesecake and ensure even mixing.

Tip 2: Place a pan filled with water on the oven shelf below your cheesecake. Adding water to the oven will help prevent your cheesecake from cracking. You can also place your cheesecake in a water bath if you prefer.

Tip 3: DON’T open the oven while the cheesecake is cooking or cooling. As tempting as it may be, opening the door will cause a quick change in temperature, which can cause your cheesecake to crack.

Helpful links

Rolling out cookie dough for shaped cookies (from co-host Cheryl): http://www.universityofcookie.com/2010/06/rolling-cookie-dough-video-tutorial.html

Decorating with royal icing (from co-host Kristan): http://www.confessionsofacookbookqueen.com/2010/12/cookies-with-royal-icing.html

Making your own sprinkles (from co-host Kaitlin): http://bravetart.com/recipes/RainbowSprinkles

Cookie decorating (from co-host Bridget, who advises watching the video demonstrations): http://www.universityofcookie.com/

Cake decorating (from co-host Cheryl): http://tidymom.net/2011/how-to-decorate-birthday-cake-with-butter-cream/

Thanks to our wonderful hosts…

Julie Mastbrook, Mommie Cooks

Kristen Doyle, Dine and Dish

Our talented and amazing co-hosts…

Cheryl Sousan, Tidy Mom

Kristan Roland, Confessions of a Cookbook Queen

Bridget Edwards, Bake at 350

Faith Gorsky, An Edible Mosaic

Monet Moutrie, Anecdotes and Apple Cores

Dennis Littley, More than a Mountfull

Kim Kopp, Quit Eating Out

Naomi Robinson, Bakers Royale

Robyn Stone, Add a Pinch

Rebecca Spivack, Let It Marinate

Kaitlin Flannery, Whisk Kid

Cate O’Malley, Sweetnicks

Jennifer McGlinn

And, of course, a BIG thank you to ConAgra Foods for partnering with TheMotherhood and all of our amazing bloggers to bring us Cooking Connections!

See the original Talk here: http://tmotherhood.wpengine.com/talk/show/id/62136

International Women’s Day and How Cancer Touches Our Lives as Women

March 8, 2011 by The Motherhood

On International Women’s Day – March 8, 2011 – women flocked to TheMotherhood to discuss one of the most important and least recognized issues affecting women’s health globally: cancer.

As one of the Talk hosts, Rennie Sloan, Director of Global Health Communications for the American Cancer Society, noted: “Funds for global health are not balanced. Even though cancer, heart disease and diabetes account for more than 60% of global deaths, they receive less than 3% of funding. Our U.S. Govt. and the UN leaders need to hear that cancer should be a global priority.”

Representatives from the American Cancer Society were on hand during the Talk to lead the discussion and provide their insights, while women shared their own stories and offered words of encouragement and support.

Cancer touches all of us

Cancer kills more than 3 million women globally each year. And even if cancer isn’t “in your face” every single day, it is still part of your life.

As co-host Joanne Bamberger said, “When I was first invited to join in, I thought, ‘Well cancer isn’t really a part of my life.’ But, of course, it is — I had a cervical cancer scare in law school, family histories of breast, uterine, colon cancer, and my best friend lost her battle with breast cancer two years ago. So important to remember that even when it’s not staring us in the face on any given day, it is still there.”

You don’t have to go through it alone

“I am a single mom to a tween boy and was diagnosed with cancer last year,” said participant Ma21cuteboy. “It is something that I find comfort in talking about and hope that in talking about it more women will be aware that they can also get cancer – to get tested, watch for signs and don’t be afraid to ask questions!”

Added participant Laurie, “Cancer touched my life 2 1/2 years ago when I was diagnosed with Ovarian Cancer. I am doing great now. I belong to a great support group of Ovarian Cancer survivors, LTIO, Let’s Talk It Ovar, and these women are strong, supportive and truly my mentors and kindred spirits. We celebrate our lives each and every day. To all who are suffering either as a survivor or a loved one of a survivor or one who has passed, talk about it, support each other, form a group. It is so very healing. God bless you all.”

Kristen Sullivan, Director of Medical and Scientific Communication for the American Cancer Society, noted that for others looking for support groups, “the American Cancer Society offers an online community of support called the Cancer Survivors Network.” You can check it out at www.cancer.org/csn

A number of participants also mentioned Susan Niebur, an inspirational mother of two young boys who is battling cancer and blogs about the process at Toddler Planet, http://toddlerplanet.wordpress.com/, and Mothers with Cancer, http://motherswithcancer.wordpress.com/

Practice prevention, screening and detection

There are ways that you can strive to prevent cancer in your own life, and when that isn’t possible, to screen for cancer and detect it in its early stages when it’s more treatable.

Ann McMikel, Strategic Director of Planning and Operations for the American Cancer Society, said, “A third of cancer can be treated through healthy diet, exercise and avoiding tobacco. Prevention is key to advancing the global fight against this disease that is taking our mothers, daughters and loved ones away. ”

Co-host Julie Pippert suggested “CHOOSE YOU!” and provided a link to the site, http://www.chooseyou.com/

The Choose You commitments Julie listed:
Eat right
Get active
Health checks
Protect my skin
Don’t smoke

“There are some cancers that we can actually stop before they even start, such as colon cancer and cervical cancer, by getting recommended screenings,” said Jesica D’Avanza, Director of Strategic Communications Planning for the American Cancer Society. “For many other cancers, all of the healthy behaviors that Julie Pippert mentioned can help you reduce your cancer risk. As others have already mentioned on this chat, nearly half of all cancer deaths could be prevented completely by doing these things that we know work. That is a pretty powerful statistic.”

The American Cancer Society provides a lot of information and detail on when we should all get certain cancer screenings based on age, gender and other factors: http://www.cancer.org/Healthy/FindCancerEarly/CancerScreeningGuidelines/index

And if you feel like something is wrong, “I would definitely go with your gut,” said participant Elebelly&mommy. “So many doctors will just dismiss it and move on to the next patient. I was expecting to have my doctor send me for a mammogram after I mentioned family history but I guess she didn’t feel it necessary … We have to be our own advocates and be persistent.”

Don’t dismiss alternative treatments

When faced with cancer, remember that chemo, radiation and traditional medicine don’t need to be your only treatments if you want to try other things. Our conversation revealed that alternative medicine had dramatic results in certain cases.

“My dad was given 6 weeks and he got 10 years due to VERY radical lifestyle changes, working a lot with eastern medicine and not once believing that it wouldn’t work,” said participant Holland.

Ariella@Sanborn agreed, “I think the mind/body connection is even more powerful than we think. I have had a number of my mother’s friends who have been diagnosed–given VERY short timelines–and then with radical lifestyle changes, have added literally YEARS to their lives, and in one case, a remission.”

Don’t stop talking about the loved ones you lose

When a loved one loses the battle with cancer, don’t let that person slip away from your day-to-day life.

“I remember a dear friend saying to me after my mother-in-law passed away that an especially hard part about losing someone you love is that people stop talking about them,” said Emily McKhann, TheMotherhood. “With that in mind, we make a point of talking about Goldie to our girls, for ourselves and for them so they grow up feeling like they know something of her.”

“I think this is so important,” agreed participant Erin L. “After my friend died in high school, I made it a point to write her mother every year on her birthday, anniversary of her death and Christmas to ensure she knew that her daughter was remembered.”

Julie Pippert pointed out that many people avoid talking about loved ones they have lost for the same reason she used to, “because it choked me every time.” She added, “I heard recently about how grief shifts from sorrow at loss to feeling blessed to have known and had someone amazing in your life. I think I am shifting.”

Learn about cancer in other countries

Not every country is as enlightened as the United States is now when it comes to cancer, particularly female cancers like breast cancer and ovarian cancer.

“The pink ribbon and breast cancer awareness is a global phenomenon,” said host Ann McMikel. “These efforts are helping to raise awareness [for cancer]; however, much more needs to be done in the developing world so that women have access to the early detection and treatment that is saving lives here in the U.S.”

Participants noted that they were “pinked out” by the prevalence of the pink breast cancer awareness ribbon, but co-host Morra pointed out that we need to be grateful: “Imagine that 40 years ago, women could not say publicly they had breast cancer.”

Joanne Bamberger agreed. “Women just a few generations back couldn’t even talk about what they often called ‘women problems.’”

This is still the case in many developing countries, unfortunately, where cancer is viewed as a stigma.

“One cervical cancer survivor we know in South Africa was alienated by her family, and her husband left her when she said she had cancer,” said host Rennie Sloan.

Why?

According to Rennie, “It’s simply because in many countries, they are where the U.S. was many decades ago in terms of understanding that cancer is a major issue. There aren’t many well-known survivors speaking out … In many cases, other governments don’t know it’s a problem, their health care systems are not equipped, and doctors are more tuned in to infectious diseases.”

Continue to help

The primary thing you can do to help the global fight against cancer is RAISE AWARENESS.

In the words of Rennie Sloan, ACS:

“Globally, the cancer burden is rising dramatically. Tobacco companies are spending BILLIONS targeting women in other countries, which will cause chronic disease to rise drastically.

“In China, 65% of male physicians smoke, and many women are exposed to deadly secondhand smoke. Getting our government to include cancer – which is currently omitted entirely in its Global Health Agenda – will make a huge difference in funding and to pave the way for the UN to include cancer in its global agenda.

“Many foundations and private companies make monetary donations based on these two things – the U.S. government’s global health priorities and the UN Millennium Goals. Tragically, these two important agendas omit cancer, one of the world’s leading killers, according to the World Health Organization.

“HIV/AIDS received a TREMENDOUS boost in resources and awareness campaigns after a major UN Meeting on AIDS. There is a similar UN Meeting this fall on noncommunicable diseases. This will START the process of getting more awareness. But our government and UN leaders need to understand the depth of the issue.

“Cancer is a leading cause of death in the world, yet it’s not on UN and global health agendas. In fact, it gets less than 3% of the global funding.”

Tweet your support for global cancer awareness and funds. Some tweets you can

Tweet: “Tell #UNWOMEN to put #cancer on its agenda”

Tweet: “Tell the #USgovt to put #cancer on its #globalhealth agenda. Cancer kills more than 3 million women globally each year.

Thank you to the amazing hosts of today’s meaningful Talk, from the American Cancer Society:

Ann M. McMikel, Strategic Director, Planning and Operations

Jesica D’Avanza, Director, Strategic Communications Planning

Rennie Sloan, Director, Global Health Communications

Kristen Sullivan, Director, Medical and Scientific Communication

And the wonderful co-hosts:

Morra Aarons-Mele, Women Online
Joanne Bamberger, Pundit Mom
Sarah Braesch, Sarah and the Goon Squad
Leanne Chase, Career Life Connection
Jennifer James, The Mom Salon
Catherine Morgan, catherine-morgan
Julie Pippert, Using My Words
Renee Ross, Cutie Booty Cakes

Chrysula Winegar, Work.Life.Balance

See the original Talk here: http://tmotherhood.wpengine.com/talk/show/id/62174

What’s Next? Judith Warner on Shifting Gears When Our Kids Don’t Need Us as Much

March 3, 2011 by The Motherhood

We were honored to welcome back to TheMotherhood Judith Warner, the New York Times columnist and author of Perfect Madness and We’ve Got Issues, to talk with her about a book idea she is working on. The topic was what we as women think about that time ahead when our kids don’t need us as much and when we begin to re-take ownership of our lives … and then what?

TheMotherhood members were very passionate on the topic, and Judith got the conversation going by posing some thoughtful questions. Read some of the comments below, but to summarize, here were the key conclusions:

· As your kids get older, the physical demands on mothers become less, but the psychological ones may actually rise.

· Moms feel conflicted about going back to work – or even other commitments because of that feeling that they want to be around to support their kids.

· Some of these problems are societal: there are too few supports for working moms and too few flexible options.

· Finding your way through this question may require adjusting your expectations.

Read on to see in what directions this exciting conversation wandered—and see if you agree with Warner and our other mom bloggers who brought such interesting viewpoints to the table:

INTERNAL OR EXTERNAL—WHAT NEEDS TO CHANGE?

Judith Warner: I am struck by how many women enter periods of painful self-questioning right at the point when they reach midlife and face the crossroads of what to do – how to live, how to be – in the second halves of their lives. The easing-up of the most physically intensive years of motherhood brings more time and energy for self – and that can be, to put it mildly, a mixed blessing.

I am eager to hear of how others experience this life “passage.” Do you sail through it smoothly, or is it rocky and uncertain? How do you get to the other side? What fuels/sustains/guides you along the way? Do you find yourself questioning/wanting to change the circumstances of your life – or do you – as I tend to do – focus instead on changing yourself? And what role does external reality play in all this: the economy, the scope of your possible life choices, your relationships, your support systems, your health and financial resources? We tend to avoid those externals as topics of conversation, but I tend to think they play a very major role in how we conceive of, and navigate, this phase of our lives.

Domesticnotdead: I’m actually right there, Judith. My son went off to kindergarten this year, and while I knew it was coming, and thought I was absolutely ready, it hit me like a ton of bricks. I felt like I had lost my job. So, I decided I wasn’t alone. Obviously everyone’s kids go off to school, and they figure out what to do with their lives. I did a little poking around, and realized that women were excited to use the brains they still had intact after cleaning up poop and spit up. I started a blog around this entire subject, praising and featuring women who have chosen to chase the dreams and kids all the while keeping their post-modern housewife status.

For sure, mothering never stops, and I think that’s why our generation has determined it’s the most important “job” to have. I think it’s why so many in our generation are leaving work to stay home. And those who may not be able to afford to quit or may not want to quit altogether, are being able to continue that work from home. It’s an exciting time.

Deborah: I suppose the question on what I’m going to do next does make me question myself. My boys need me in different ways and now my parents do too. I think reminding myself of my “lifework” instead of the more popular “worklife” helps.

Judith Warner: “Lifework” is great. Especially because it can mean something slightly different — yet equally vital — for each of us.

Emily: I think it’s so interesting to look at the distinction between changing one’s circumstances and changing oneself. I think I look to doing both. One side of me wants to learn to be more zen and yoga-ified, and the other wants to move to a farm and try growing heirloom tomatoes in quantity

THE TRICK TO FINDING SOMETHING FLEXIBLE

Kristin: How do smart, capable women, experienced in the business world, figure out a way to get back into the workforce in a flexible way so that they can be around for their pre-teens/teenager? This is such a frustration for me and so many other women. The business world doesn’t seem to offer any flexible situations (except for the rare job-sharing or telecommuting arrangement).

Judith: See — I think this lack of flexibility, lack of social supports for parenthood, is always the backdrop against which we have these sorts of conversations. We have very circumscribed choices.

Julie Pippert: So true — when is that flexibility going to be more prevalent? Especially since studies keep showing how it works better and leads to more productivity!!

Kristin: So many of us share this frustration and feel that our “work” options are limited to volunteering, PTA, etc. Are there any companies/organizations that have done a good job harnessing the power of these smart, capable women, many of whom are available from 9-3 every day – but don’t want to commute or become road warriors?

OPPORTUNITY LIES IN TECHNOLOGY…BUT WE’RE STILL CONFUSED

Domesticnotdead: I think what I’ve learned from my self-diagnosed elementary school empty-nest syndrome is that this is the greatest time in history to follow your dreams. Technology has made so many avenues readily available. It’s a matter of convincing yourself that your creativity matters and can make a difference. It’s amazing what actually taking that step will do.

Little Jacket: Judith–when I hear you wondering if you were building a good life, with your accomplishments, it makes me think that there is a condition at work here that prevents us from realizing that we are who we are now…? I produce Gretchen Rubin’s videos, who you mentioned in your recent article–she has this saying Be Gretchen. meaning be actually who you are. Thoughts?

Judith: … the ability to “Be Gretchen” or “Be Judy” or whatever means that you have to really be able to identify who you are and like who you are. That’s not a given for a lot of people, either part of the equation.

Wildgeese: I find that it is easy to lose who I am because motherhood has drained my confidence. I care so much about raising happy, healthy good citizens of the world that I lose myself. I find the work feedback loop so much more confidence building and so much easier to Be Me.

WE NEED TO “CREATE A KINGDOM INSIDE OURSELVES”

Judith Warner: This is a quote from F. Scott Fitzgerald’s “The Crack-Up” which, of course, has nothing to do with motherhood, …it fitted so perfectly how I was feeling after the years of trying to do absolutely everything. I wonder if others will relate as well:
“I began to realize that for two years of my life I had been drawing on resources that I did not possess, that I had been mortgaging myself physically and spiritually up to the hilt.”

Tracy Mayor: I do feel all of this searching has something to do with our larger society — people are really not feeling fulfilled by our culture, work, economy, shared values. It’s like we’re each trying to create a little kingdom inside of ourselves because the world around us isn’t doing it. I kind of dream of a time — which probably never existed — where a majority of people all felt at least somewhat on the same page. But of course there was a huge price to pay for that homogeneity (paging Betty Draper).

Judith Warner: That is so true!!

A FULL-TIME JOB CHANGES EVERYTHING–ALMOST

Judith: Is anyone in a traditional, full-time job? I would be eager to hear her perspective, because, in my experience so far, women in that position experience this transition a bit differently (much less dramatically, in fact).

Magpie: Me! Traditional FT job. (Well, maybe not that traditional, it’s an arts non-profit.) My husband is the stay-at-home parent, because he’s on LT disabililty. I feel like I’m missing lots of bits of my daughter’s growing up, because he’s the one putting her on the bus, and taking her to activities, and hosting playdates.

Judith: I guess I was thinking of this: I tend to experience these issues much as you all do. But, last summer, I got together with a group of women in Washington, DC who really felt differently about things. They just didn’t ask themselves these kinds of questions. It was like: they knew where they were from and they knew where they were going, and they didn’t let themselves be sidetracked by these kinds of concerns. And I felt sort of silly. I’d assumed the kind of angst I was experiencing was very widespread (which obviously it is). But what accounts for that kind of difference? How you grew up? What your expectations were of life on your way up?

Some were women who’d grown up in very modest backgrounds, who’d been very clear, always, on where they wanted to go in life and what it would take to get there and were very aware of how good they had it now and that life could be very different. One was a woman whose mother had really felt she’d sacrificed her own life to her family (and husband in particular before getting divorced) and I think she’d always had an agreement with herself that she wouldn’t end up in that position. I think that everyone’s individual life story plays a big role here.

Little Jacket: Yes, and I suppose that the angst of all of this is a luxury that people with certain economic conditions can only experience?

DO KIDS EVER STOP NEEDING YOU?

Gray Matter Matters: The premise of the chat is based on “our kids not needing us as much.” At what point do you believe that happens. Here’s why I ask. It’s easy to believe your little children need you. They need you for day to day survival. But I would say that my son needs me more than ever (even if he doesn’t like to admit it) because he’s entering the years where he has more “internal” needs. Anyone know what I’m saying? Until they’re out of the house I don’t think they need us less.

Judith Warner: Yes, I agree the need is different as they get older. Less physically taxing — you’re not picking them up all the time — but more psychologically so. And I’ve also had the experience, as my kids get older, of feeling like I’m out of my league — when they encounter social challenges, for example, that I STILL don’t know how to handle. I am struck more and more, though, by how much daughters at my older daughter’s age (13 going on 14) seem to depend upon their mothers for a sense of how to be in the world (whether they recognize that or not.)

Deborah: As our kids grow….so do we. I am not the mom I was 16 years ago. We’ve all grown from what we needed/provided then to what we need/provide now.

Tracy Mayor: It’s the “position” analogy — first you lead, then you parent side-by-side with your child, then you drop back and parent from the rear. My high schooler, he’s already out in front of us, but he still needs a lot of encouragement and guidance from behind. My middle schooler, we’re side-by-side right now. It’s a great time, frankly. Tricky but enjoyable.

Kristin: I so agree. And I am frightened by the idea of not being around for the angst of teenagedom (not to mention the trouble they could get it) while also loving the idea of going back to work.

Wildgeese: I love this quote from Jean Luc Goddard and I think it applies to dealing with teenagers who I agree, still really need us. “…all the dragons in our lives are perhaps princesses expecting us to be handsome and brave. All the terrifying things are perhaps nothing but helpless things waiting for us to help them.”

Co-hosting the Talk were these fabulous bloggers:

Betsy Cadel, Gray Matter Matters and Cool Mom Tech
Tracey Clark, Founder, ShutterSisters
Maria Giacchino, My Little Jacket
Isabel Kallman, AlphaMom
Julie Pippert, Using My Words
Liz Thompson, This Full House

Expanding Your Family’s Palate by Placating Picky Eaters

March 2, 2011 by The Motherhood

Women filed into TheMotherhood for virtual cooking class on March 2, 2011, to share tips and tricks for “Expanding Your Family’s Palate by Placating Picky Eaters,” the latest installment in the Cooking Connections series, held in partnership with ConAgra Foods.

The class was led by Jennifer Leal (Savor the Thyme), Kimberly Coleman (Mom in the City) and Kelsey Banfield (The Naptime Chef), and focused on methods for getting picky eaters out of their food ruts – along with offering up plain old encouragement for worried moms.

http://youtu.be/86yr5nSg1-M

As co-host Brooke McLay, Cheeky Kitchen, put it, “When all is said and done, the fact of the matter is some kids just need time … A combination of clever ideas, never giving up, and lots of patience always tends to win out in my book. Good luck!”

Picky Eating is Normal – Don’t Stress!

“From my experience as a dietitian, if a child is going to become picky, it will probably kick in around age two. Picky eating is normal,” said participant Liz Weiss. “Best to downplay it and keep offering a healthy variety of foods over and over again. Presentation is key. Eye and texture appeal can make a big and positive difference.”

Stacie Billis at One Hungry Mama had an interesting series of points about picky eating:

– There’s an evolutionary explanation for some picky phases. (some phases come at times of increased mobility, when baby might be exploring places without mama or papa immediately nearby to protect them. Pickiness, natural skepticism of new foods, prevented the cave baby from putting just about anything – like a poisonous berry – in baby’s mouth)

– Some kids have limited palates because of the way they are fed for the first few years of life (kids who are raised on bland and overly sweet processed cereals and packaged baby food can’t be expected to suddenly have a taste for fresh broccoli and cauliflower!)

– Sometimes it’s a developmentally appropriate power struggle (food is one of the few things over which baby can exert control and it’s important that they experiment with this)

“These are not things that can be turned around quickly,” she said. “Rather, it’s a slow process with the goal of helping kids develop healthy eating habits that will sustain them a lifetime.”

Just Try It

Many participants use the “one-bite rule” to get their kids to try a food before simply refusing it.

“Our rule is you just need to take a full size bite, chew, swallow and then say, ‘Yes, please’ or ‘No, thank you,’” said host Jennifer Leal, Savor the Thyme.

Co-host Cookin’ Canuck agreed, but said, “We actually have the 3-bite rule. I think kids are likely to refuse the food on the first bite if it’s something new. If they take a few extra bites, they often end up liking it.”

And Keep Trying It

“Always introduce food several times in several forms,” said host Kelsey Banfield, The Naptime Chef. “Kids will pick up on it eventually.”

“It can take upwards of 6-10 tries for a child to accept a new food – so it’s super important to the course by repeatedly serving healthy foods (openly!) and modeling eating them, too,” added Stacie Billis. “Even when they say they don’t like them!”

Liz Weiss added, “And sometimes it’s the texture that makes all the difference. As tastebuds change and mature, so may tolerance to certain textures.”

Interesting Food Everyone will Love

Host Kimberly Coleman, Mom in the City, asked participants to share some of the healthy, interesting foods their picky eaters enjoyed.

“My kids are big fans of eggs,” said co-host Cookin’ Canuck. “We make a lot of frittatas for dinner (quick and easy). We’re able to include a variety of proteins and veggies into them.”

And for those with kids who won’t touch fruit, “My 12 year old son wouldn’t eat fruit until he discovered smoothies,” said co-host Amy Johnson, She Wears Many Hats. “He now enjoys preparing one or more daily! Even combining several kinds of fruit!”

“My kids always respond to the fun shaped fruits and veggies,” added Brooke McLay. “Last week, we tried starfruit, kiwi, and berry skewers. Keep introducing new colors and flavors of fresh fruits and veggies and you never know what might stick!”

For kids who are hesitant about fruit, try this great peanut butter apple wrap recipe from ConAgra’s recipe website Ready Set Eat: http://www.readyseteat.com/recipes-Peanut-ButterApple-Wraps-5279.html

You can also try “playing” with your food to encourage kids to try new things. Participant Stephanie said her son loves “sugar snap peas – since we made it a game of the peas peeking out of the pod, he now calls them peek-a-boo peas!”

“I got my son to eat his first sandwich by cutting it into a letter shape because he loves the alphabet,” commented Shari Simpson-Cabelin, who writes at Earth Mom just means I’m dusty.

Kim also shared a link from CBS about great lunch ideas for kids: http://newyork.cbslocal.com/guide/best-school-lunch-ideas-for-kids/

Making Meals Work for Everyone

“One of the things I love to do is make one meal work for everyone,” said Kelsey Banfield. “I usually take one or two elements of a meal and adjust them for the adults and children. For example, we all love pesto (daughter included). So for her I do cheese tortellini with pesto and for us I do salmon with pesto. I hope someday she’ll be curious about the salmon part since it includes one of her favorite condiments … Starting off with a common ingredient and branching out from there is a great way to introduce new food.”

Brooke McLay added, “My pediatrician is fond of saying that no well-loved kid has ever starved themselves to death. At some point, they get hungry enough to taste the food that is available. So, in our house, it’s one meal for everyone. And if they don’t like it, they can brush their teeth, go to bed, and wait until breakfast.”

You can also ask your kids to help you prepare the meal to encourage them to eat the same thing you’re eating.

“Sometimes I’ll cook with both of my girls and I’ll intentionally choose something that is new,” said Kristy Bernardo, The Wicked Noodle. “They’ve never turned down something they’ve made themselves – they’re too proud of it!”

Educating the Littlest Consumer

Kelsey noted that taking your kids to the farmer’s market or grocery store when you stock up for meals “can be a great way to get kids curious about food and maybe give them a choice of healthy snacks.”

Co-host Shaina Olmanson, Food for My Family, added, “My husband and I do our grocery shopping and our cooking with all four of our children … We have seen how important this is to getting them to eat healthy and develop a good relationship with food.”

“I love showing my kids where food comes from – we visit farms and farm markets all the time,” said co-host Jo-Lynne Shane, Musings of a Housewife.

Co-host Jen Rabulan-Bertram, Next Kid Thing, suggested “going strawberry, apple and pumpkin picking–or whatever is in season,” which can be “fun and educational, too.”

You can take that a step further and start your own backyard garden with your kids – “My daughter loved realizing that the tomatoes we grew made tomato sauce!” Kelsey noted. And kids who grow their own veggies “can’t wait to wash them and bite right in,” said Jennifer Leal.

“Sneaking” Foods into Meals?

Opinions varied widely on whether moms should sneak healthy foods into other foods their kids like to help them vary their diets.

“I don’t see anything WRONG with it, but I don’t go out of my way to be ‘sneaky’ either,” said Jo-Lynne Shane. “I just keep a variety of nourishing food around. They eat what they like and leave the rest. I don’t stress over it.”

“I think sneaking is okay as long as it doesn’t replace trying to teach children how to eat healthy,” said Kristy. “The goal is to get them to develop lifelong healthy habits, not just get the foods down their throats.”

“My Mom would say it was chicken when it was really tofu,” added Charlene. “Later she would tell us. I guess because she knew us and that for us it was mental. So like most said, it depends on who and how picky your child is.”

“I sometimes ‘hide the truth’ about what’s in a meal, said Kelsey. “Don’t delve into it too much. I think keeping things low-key is ok. I don’t lie, but I keep it low-key.”

Similarly, Cookin’ Canuck and her husband “don’t actually lie about what is in a dish, but we do have certain names for a couple of foods. For example, for awhile we called couscous ‘mini rice’ because both of my boys liked rice, but were hesitant about the couscous.”

“I think that exposing kids to the real, actual foods is most important without a doubt,” concluded Kimberly Coleman. “However, every kid is different and I think that moms should do what they need to do in order for their kids to get their (real, not imagined) nutrient needs met.”

No Snacking

Co-host Dara Michalski, Cookin’ Canuck, had additional advice for parents of picky eaters based on experience. “I have worked with many children who have significant eating issues, and one of the most basic and helpful changes the parents make is to insist on a regular meal and snack schedule so that kids are not grazing on food throughout the day (and are then not that hungry at mealtime),” she said. “Also, requiring that the child sits at the table to eat, rather than taking a couple of bites between playing, can make a big difference.”

Stacie Billis agreed, noting that the policy in her home is “no snacks at all after 3:30 pm. Being hungry at dinner time is key to helping dinner go as smoothly as possible.”

And if they won’t eat dinner anyway? “If my son won’t eat his dinner, I save it for him,” said Shari Simpson-Cabelin. “If he says, ‘I’m hungry’ at bedtime, he gets… the same dinner. It’s helped quite a bit.”

Rewards for Trying New Foods or Flavors

Participant Janice Bissex said, “We have a recipe reviewer chart on MealMakeoverMoms.com. It helps to get kids excited about trying new foods when they are the official reviewer. After trying a certain number of new foods, the child get a prize – we encourage rewards to be fitness or education related: http://mealmakeovermoms.com/mealtime-tools/recipe-reviewer-chart/

Jennifer Leal also had a few healthy but delicious suggestions for food rewards:

http://www.savoringthethyme.com/2009/02/cleaned-up-sweet-potato-zucchini-muffins/

http://www.savoringthethyme.com/2010/04/strawberry-mice-getting-kids-to-eat-fruit-at-a-birthday-party/

“Sometimes I buy the healthier versions of regular food like Whole Wheat Spaghetti instead of regular,” said Kelsey Banfield. “I do reward my daughter, but usually with the promise of an extra book for bed time!”

Great Links

They look like burgers, but they’re … Tuna Sliders: http://www.readyseteat.com/recipes-Tuna-Sliders-5236.html

Work some fruit into an old favorite … Grilled Cheese and Pear Sandwiches: http://www.readyseteat.com/recipes-Grilled-Cheese-and-Pear-Sandwiches-4727.html

To expand the horizons of those kids who will ONLY eat mac and cheese … try South of the Border Mac and Cheese: http://www.readyseteat.com/recipes-SouthoftheBorder-Mac-and-Cheese-2214.html

Exploring food with your kids: http://food.yourway.net/exploring-food-with-your-kids/

Supermarket scavenger hunt: http://www.superkidsnutrition.com/sckids/nutrition-adventures/na_abby1.pdf

How to develop and teach your family healthy eating habits: http://newyork.cbslocal.com/guide/how-to-develop-and-teach-your-family-healthy-eating-habits/

Thanks so much to the amazing hosts!

Kelsey Banfield, The Naptime Chef

Kimberly Coleman, Mom in the City

Jennifer Leal, Savor the Thyme

And their insightful, wonderful co-hosts!

Jen Rabulan-Bertram, Next Kid Thing

Marla Meridith, Family Fresh Cooking

Kristy Bernardo, The Wicked Noodle

Jo-Lynne Shane, Musings of a Housewife

Dara Michalski, Cookin’ Canuck

Brooke McLay, Cheeky Kitchen

Shaina Olmanson, Food for My Family

Carol Cain, NY City Mama

Shari Simpson-Cabelin, Earth Mother just means I’m dusty

Amy Johnson, She Wears Many Hats

Stacie Billis, One Hungry Mama

As always, many thanks to our amazing partner, ConAgra Foods, for making Cooking Connections possible!!!

See the original Talk here: http://tmotherhood.wpengine.com/talk/show/id/62135

Share Your Breakfast

March 1, 2011 by The Motherhood

On March 1, 2011, TheMotherhood hosted its first-ever Kellogg virtual breakfast via LIVE video feed!

The conversation over virtual breakfast centered around a very meaningful program called Kellogg’s Share Your Breakfast, aimed at fighting childhood hunger.

Joining us to talk about the program via live video were Kellogg Senior Brand Manager Trinh Le and pediatric cardiologist Dr. Reginald Washington, chair of the board of Action for Healthy Kids.

http://youtu.be/MZSRMEi0RPs

You can read the summary to get an overview of the conversation, watch a recording of the broadcast in the video player above, and/or read through participants’ comments and questions by clicking here. It was truly a special 30 minutes, and we invite you to be part of it!

About Share Your Breakfast

“We [at Kellogg] are partnering with Action for Healthy Kids – and all of you – because we want to share breakfast with kids who might otherwise miss out,” said Trinh, starting the discussion.

The Kellogg’s Share Your Breakfast program was designed with the goal of helping share one million breakfasts with kids who need them most.

To accomplish this goal, Kellogg has partnered with Action for Healthy Kids, a nonprofit organization that focuses on childhood obesity and undernourishment. One way Action for Healthy Kids supports their cause is by providing funding directly to school districts to expand or initiate school breakfast programs. To learn how you can further help kids and schools, visit ActionforHealthyKids.org.

Kellogg’s Share Your Breakfast began January 20 and runs through July 31, 2011, and there are multiple ways to get involved. Each time you share a photo or description of your breakfast, Kellogg will donate the monetary equivalent of school breakfasts to Action for Healthy Kids. A single dollar donated is equivalent to five school breakfasts shared through the grants distributed by Action for Healthy Kids.

How You Can Share Your Breakfast

As co-host Ellen Seidman, All That Max, said of the Share Your Breakfast program, “I just LOVE how simple this is to do.”

Option 1: Online with photo
– Head over to http://www.shareyourbreakfast.com
– Find the upload station in the yellow band and click ‘browse’ to find your photo (You can also click the link to take a photo with your webcam!)
– Be sure that your photo is a JPG or PNG file, that it’s no more than 3MB and that no recognizable logos are included
– Fill out all the information, agree to terms and click ‘upload’!

Option 2: Online with no photo
– Head over to http://www.shareyourbreakfast.com
– Find the upload station in the yellow band and type in a description of your breakfast in the box provided
– Fill out all the information, agree to terms and click ‘upload’!

Option 3: Text Message
– Text the word SHARE with a photo or description of your breakfast to 21534
– Be sure that your photo does not include any recognizable logos.
– Message and data rates may apply. See your carrier for details.

Option 4: Twitter on March 8th ONLY
– Share a photo or description on Twitter using the #ShareUrBreakfast hashtag
– Will only count on March 8, 2011 (National Breakfast Day!)

Trinh noted that your breakfast doesn’t have to be a Kellogg product! It can be anything, even just a cup of coffee.

Co-host Nirasha Jaganath, Mommy Niri, commented, “Kellogg’s rocks for not making it about THEIR product – shows that they truly believe in the cause.”

Why This is Necessary

According to national statistics, 50 million adults and 17 million children are living in food insecure households. Shockingly, that means 23 percent of children in this country are impacted by hunger. And of those kids, a staggering number simply are not getting the food and proper nutrition they need to grow and do well in school.

Breakfast programs in schools help ensure that all kids get a morning meal. “We know breakfast gives your brain a head start in getting ready to learn,” said Dr. Washington. He noted that kids become better students and citizens, and are less likely to have health problems, when they eat breakfast.

“My daughter is never ready to eat before school,” said co-host Jenny Rapson, Mommin’ It Up. “Just one of the reasons I am thankful she gets breakfast AT school.”

Action for Healthy Kids is working on innovative ways to get kids more access to free breakfast, whether it’s breakfast in the classroom, or universal free breakfast to remove the stigma of coming to school early for a free meal.

“One of the statistics that was really telling is that fewer than half of the kids who qualify for free or reduced price breakfasts are actually taking advantage of that,” said Trinh – one reason Kellogg is working with Action for Healthy Kids to help fund programs that would remove the stigma of accepting free breakfast.

Other Ways to Get Involved

“Parents cannot assume that schools and teachers … are doing their part,” Dr. Washington commented. “Parents have an obligation to make sure their kids are getting the best nutrition and exercise possible.” He suggested joining the Action for Healthy Kids volunteer network to find ways to help make a difference at local schools.

You can find out which schools in your area participate in breakfast programs by visiting the Food and Research Action Centers website: http://www.frac.org or the Action for Healthy Kids website: http://www.actionforhealthykids.org.

Dr. Washington also suggested asking the principal of your child’s school if they are part of the Action for Healthy Kids network.

National Breakfast Day

Kellogg will be celebrating breakfast on a nationwide scale on Tuesday, March 8, 2011. The Mayor’s office in New York City has declared this date as National Breakfast Day – a day dedicated to sharing breakfast with children in need.

You can take part on this day by sending in pictures of your breakfast and encouraging your social media communities to share their own breakfasts!

Thanks to Trinh Le, senior brand manager for Kellogg, and Dr. Reginald Washington, chair of the board of Action for Healthy Kids, for talking about their wonderful initiative with us!

And thanks to our co-hosts:

Tricia Callahan, Once A Month Mom

Audrey McClelland, Mom Generations

Felicia Carter, Go Graham Go

Jenny Rapson, Mommin’ It Up

Connie Roberts, Brain Foggles

Ellen Seidman, Love That Max

Nirasha Jaganath, Mommy Niri

Beth Knudsvig, Anti-Supermom

Shannon Stilwell, Potamus Prefers

Crystal Reagan, Simply Being Mommy

See the original Talk here: http://tmotherhood.wpengine.com/talk/show/id/62163

Babycare and Mom Helpful Hints with Heloise and Dr. Smith’s Diaper Ointment

February 24, 2011 by The Motherhood

Women gathered in TheMotherhood on February 24, 2011, to share helpful hints about baby and household care. We were joined by hints expert Heloise, an internationally syndicated columnist, TV personality and author of several books, including her latest, Handy Household Hints from Heloise.

As Heloise noted at the end of the Talk, “My mother, the original Heloise, started the Mom’s community back in 1959 in her newspaper column. She told her housewives ‘I love you, and you’re not alone.’”

We are saying the same thing to moms today, more than 50 years later. The communication is different, but the intent is the same – to provide a safe place for moms to ask questions, get answers, sympathize, share stories and stay strong!

Thank you to Dr. Smith’s Diaper Ointment for partnering with us to bring you this incredible, powerful Talk!

Taking care of our families and ourselves

It’s easier to care for your children when you take care of yourself, too!

“If you can find some money for a mother’s help or trade off with friends for a babysitter, I find it helpful to have a day to myself every so often,” said co-host Jill, The Diaper Diaries. “Even grocery shopping without kids is like a spa day. It is a luxury!!”

Added participant 1Chef, “Sometimes I think we all try to multi-task too much! Sometimes focusing more on fewer tasks at a time is helpful.”

Baby care and advice

Moms also discussed their best hints for taking care of babies, ranging from practical to emotional.

Co-host Cat, 3 Kids and Us, advised new moms to “buy a lot of infant gowns and skip the frilly clothes. Babies grow so fast and the gowns are so easy for diaper changes, which happen so frequently.”

In a similar vein, “do your homework, visit and talk with other families and see what you really need in way on baby equipment,” added 1Chef. “It’s easy to over-do and get too much stuff that you actually don’t need or use.”

Co-host Janel, A Mom’s Take, said she would have appreciated knowing how difficult breastfeeding would be. “No one told me it would be hard at first and I could have easily quit if I wasn’t so sure I wanted to nurse. Once I got over the initial learning curve I have loved nursing, but boy I wasn’t prepared for that!”

And when baby is old enough to eat in a highchair, Heloise had a great tip to prevent slipping: “Putting non-skid shelf liner or bathtub appliqués on the seat of the chair.”

When it comes to keeping your child’s toys clean, Heloise recommends “baking soda for stuffed animals and a solution of simple white or apple cider vinegar to de-grime plastic toys.”

She also endorsed using “a quality diaper ointment (I love Dr. Smith’s Diaper Ointment and use it on my hand and feet!)” to treat diaper rash – AND after each diaper change to help prevent rashes.

Above all, “be flexible,” said co-host Rachael, Empowering Mommy. “Only take advice from those you really trust and ignore all other comments. Don’t be afraid to test things and come up with your own rules.”

Potty training

As your kids grow out of diapers, potty training can prove to be a delicate balance, especially overnight.

“I think the pull-ups with their erasable symbols really seem to work with my kids,” said participant mmmyatt. “When they can see a sign that they’ve stayed dry, they are really proud–and they work hard to see those symbols still there in the morning.”

Co-host Angela, Frugal Living NW, suggested waiting to potty train “until you notice a dry diaper. It’s worked for me with my first 3. It might be another year until your child is ready for a dry night.”

“Don’t give any liquids two hours prior to bedtime,” added Krista S. “This helped so they didn’t wet the bed at night or come running into our bedroom and then pee in the middle of the night!”

Getting the kids to help with chores

It isn’t always easy to get help around the house – kids are more interested in playtime.

“Make it a race,” said co-host Alison, Being Alison. “See who can put away the most things the quickest. Or just how fast they can do it.”

You could even use “a timer. I am amazed at how motivated my kids get when I set a timer for 5 minutes,” added co-host Jill Anderson, Diaper Diaries.

ShannonK gets her kids moving by giving them an incentive. “I make a list of what I need each kid to do, then take all media away until it is done. It is shocking how fast they can move, if they are motivated.”

“I make weekly household chore for every family member, especially my kids,” said SuzanneDS. “A star is placed after chore done, and monthly a special surprise awaits.”

Uncluttering

Most of the moms agreed that avoiding clutter, or clearing it, was a major task. They traded suggestions with Heloise for minimizing the problem.

“For teens, if they decorate their rooms, they’ll be tidier,” said 1Chef. “Also, for teen clothes, they can re-sell/trade at consignment stores like Plato’s Closet.”

“I actually boxed up my daughter’s clothes when she grew out of them,” said Aubrie. “It keeps it organized by size (and gender) for the next possible addition.”

Brandie gets her whole family involved to “do it Clean Sweep Style (if anyone remembers that show). We literally move everything out of the bedroom into the living room. We spread it all out and then we start going through it. We do this about 3 times a year.”

Heloise Hints for uncluttering

1. File it wherever it goes

2. Fix it if it can be fixed, if not, throw it out

3. Five minutes or five things (five minutes cleaning out a kitchen drawer, one shelf in the fridge, etc. Five things – touch and deal with five and only five things: five things out of your makeup drawer, your purse, etc.)

4. Forward: If it goes to another room, carry it with you when you move. If it goes to the kitchen, carry it with you when you walk through the house. Hint from my mother, the original Heloise: Never ever leave a room empty handed.

5. FORGET ABOUT IT!

Heloise last ditch stain remover for washable clothes

One gallon hot water
1 cup powdered dishwasher detergent
1/4 cup household liquid chlorine bleach

Stir to dissolve the dishwasher detergent. Put the clothes in, let them soak for ten to twenty minutes and then check.

If the stains do not come out in twenty minutes, soaking longer or overnight is not going to be any better.

Bleaching out yellowing clothes

Brandie and other moms suggested “vinegar and sunshine!”

Heloise added, “Try one garment and soak it in a bottle of 3% hydrogen peroxide which acts as a slower, milder bleaching agent.”

BEST HINTS FROM HELOISE AND THEMOTHERHOOD

1. Dealing with Kids’ Boo-Boos:

From Heloise: Use a red washcloth, which shows no blood, and tiny frozen fast-food condiment packages as ice packs, remove bandage, without an ouch, by covering first with baby or mineral oil.

From Brandie: Fill cloth bags with flax and lavender. You can put them in the freezer. They feel good on bruises and small injuries and have a nice scent that can be calming.

2. Ways to Organize Tot’s Things:

From Heloise: Put complete outfits, underpants and all, in a large zipper bag. On the weekend, put together a week’s worth to save stress and time on hectic mornings.

From “Clumberkim”: When you get a new toy, give away, sell or donate an old one to avoid an excess buildup of unused or forgotten toys.

3. Keeping Track of Bath Toys:

From Heloise: Corral them with a plastic colander or mesh vegetable bag, which go right into the tub and allows for easy drying.

From “This Mama Loves”: To clean bath toys, put them in a lingerie bag, zip it and put it on the top shelf of the dishwasher. Avoid squirty bath toys or toys with holes, which are harder to clean and sanitize.

4. Maintaining the Peace During Naptime:

From members of The Motherhood: When the baby is sleeping, put a note on your front door that says, “Do Not Disturb, the baby is napping” to prevent people from ringing the doorbell and waking him or her.

From Heloise: Heloise’s mother, the original Heloise, published this hint in her newspaper column that she started in 1959 (a true reflection of the importance and power of women sharing their best ideas).

5. When Heloise invited the community to share their best advice for new moms, the community overwhelmingly said, trust your instincts and don’t be afraid to come up with your own rules.

Thanks to Heloise, Dr. Smith’s Diaper Ointment and our AMAZING blogger co-hosts:

Janel, A Mom’s Take

Sheryl, Cents’Able Shoppin

Jessica, The B Keeps Us Honest

Jill, Diaper Diaries

Angela, Frugal Living NW

Catherine, 3 Kids and Us

Crystal, Simply Being Mommy

Rachael, Empowering Mommy

Brett, This Mama Loves Her Bargains

Alison, Being Alison

See the original Talk here: http://tmotherhood.wpengine.com/talk/show/id/62162