Live Talk

Summer Challenges: Managing Food Allergies

June 13, 2012 by The Motherhood

I’ve heard that there are families out there who travel, stopping for a bite to eat whenever and wherever they feel like it. Families for whom the worst danger from a birthday party or carnival is a kid hopped up on sugar. Families that send their kids to sleep-away camp, trusting that the scariest thing their child will encounter in the mess hall is the mystery meat.

None of those families have a kid with food allergies, though.

The incidence of food allergies has skyrocketed in the last two decades, and almost everyone seems to have a kid with one (or more), or to know someone who does. Summer experiences that are fun for most kids, like camp, cookouts, and parties, are daunting and potentially deadly for families dealing with food allergies (FA).

Today in The Motherhood we were so fortunate to have a large panel of moms sharing their experiences and wisdom in dealing with this particular challenge. Lori Sandler, Susan Weissman, and Sandra Beasley were joined by panelists Sloane (Allergic Girl), Nicole (Allergic Child), Jen, Jodi, Sarah (The Allergist Mom), Barbara (Food Allergy Initiative), and Kelly (Food Allergy Mama). These wonderful moms weighed in on a number of situations that parents of FA kids deal with every summer.

On camp…

Lori reminds us that camp “is all about fun, and should not be stressful.” To keep it that way, we have to make sure our kids feel safe. This starts with the selection of the camp in the first place. Not all camps have the resources to deal with food allergies. Get recommendations from trusted friends, allergists, and allergy-friendly Facebook pages. Susan offered TheCampLady.com as a resource for locating allergy-friendly camps. Once you find a camp, Lori recommends talking to the camp owners at length and getting a feel for their philosophy, because you really need to feel able to trust them. Nicole and Kelly agreed that awareness of allergies is very much on a camp-by-camp basis.

Susan also emphasizes, “Trust in the counselor is crucial since they are there in the minute by minute. I think that simply talking to them about it in an open, calm, and anecdotal way really helps. Let them know that e-mailing or calling you is NEVER a bother.” And Sandra noted, “Consider going in to meet with folks with a copy of an Emergency Action Plan (if you have one) or else a one-page sheet that lists all allergens, likely points of exposure (not only food but CRAFTS), and prescribed course of response. Offer to bring in several laminated copies to make it easier on camp staff.” Having a small picture of your child in the corner of the sheet can help, too.

Another resource that can be helpful to camp staff is this snack list offered by Susan. Nicole has an ebook on her AllergicChild.com site about traveling and eating out with food allergies that also includes preparing for summer camp.

One critical safety tip from BestAllergySites: “Make sure the EpiPen follows your child. There are some camps/staff that will leave it in the medical kit and then stray from the kit to do various activities with the kids. The medical kit should always be close by. Also, make sure the counselor in charge of your child can and will administer if necessary.” If possible, having your child wear the EpiPen on his person in a waist pack is a good option.

On Cookouts…

Even if peanut satay isn’t on the menu today, that doesn’t mean the grill is safe. Hosts who may have been careful in their ingredient preparation may have forgotten about potential cross-contamination from previously grilled foods. Sandra recommends taking along an extra roll of aluminum foil and a separate set of tongs to create an allergen-free zone for grilling. On the bright side, she points out, summer desserts like watermelon are usually much safer than baked goods!

On Traveling…

Barbara offered this terrific resource for families traveling with food allergies this summer. Sarah reminded us never to leave an EpiPen in the car, especially in summer heat, which can quickly destroy the effectiveness of this medication. You can find guidelines for EpiPen storage here. While EpiPens shouldn’t get too cold, either, Sarah says a cooling pack can help keep them closer to room temperature.

And what about that adjunct to the great American tradition of the road trip – eating on the road? While you may not be able to just pop in to any old roadside stand for a bite, there are options, especially if you’re willing to plan. Susan says she’s had success avoiding restaurants and packing picnic lunches to be eaten in state parks. Jen agrees, noting that “picnics tend to be cheaper and much less effort anyway.”

Sandra says she gets tired of never having hot food on the road, though, and says that for shorter trips, she’ll pack something microwaveable, like organic Amy’s wraps or rice bowls, because many gas stations have microwave ovens where she can heat up her food. What a great idea! Along similar lines, Sarah says, “My mom got us a cooler/warmer that plugs into the outlet in the front of the car! It has been a life-saver on warm days to keep food cool (or in the winter when you need to keep food warm).” Divvies.com and Tasterie.com also offers lots of road-friendly foods.

But getting there, as they say, is only half the fun. When you arrive, you may have to deal with hosts who don’t have as thorough an understanding of food allergies as you would like. One option, of course, is staying in a hotel where you can prepare your own food, as several of the moms in the discussion like to do. As Susan observes, however, that can get expensive, and sometimes it’s just not practical. If staying with friends or family, Lori advises, “Start by having an in-depth discussion with your potential hosts to get a sense of their willingness to keep an allergen-safe environment. Calling restaurants and grocery stores ahead of time can prove very helpful.” It’s a judgment call; staying in a hotel may keep you away from Grandpa’s cashew addiction, but being in a house offers you more opportunity to cook and store food and to thoroughly wash pans and dishes.

On Summer Jobs…

For teenagers, getting a summer job is a rite of passage, and many (if not most) of the summer jobs available to teens are in restaurants. Sandra says that her parents “flat-out vetoed (her working in a restaurant) out of fear. But in hindsight, I wish we’d sat down to brainstorm options that didn’t require direct exposure to food – hostessing, for example, or making deliveries. It’s as important to cultivate independence as it is to protect.”

On Summer Sports…

If your kids participate in sports leagues over the summer, don’t forget the most important part of the game: the team snack. Don’t forget to communicate with coaches about your child’s food allergy, especially, as Sarah points out, if you drop the child off for practice and don’t stay to watch. Kelly cautions NEVER to forget to pack the EpiPen in sports bags (and let coaches know it’s there). Susan points out that some coaches require the removal of all jewelry, including medical alert bracelets, during play. This makes it especially important that the coach knows your child and her allergies. When you sign your kids up for sports, there may be an area on the form that asks about food allergies and medical issues. Ask if this information makes it onto the roster so the coach sees it regularly.

On Sending them Off to School (or College)…

Even the most blissful summer eventually comes to an end, followed by … school. (Insert collective sigh here.) For the little ones, get a 504 Plan. Ideally, your child should be able to self-carry her epinephrine and staff who deal with her, including bus drivers, should know how to administer it. In some ways, sending a student off to college is even more scary than sending a five year old to kindergarten. By this age, your child should know how to talk to others about his allergy in order to protect himself. All-you-can-eat dining hall buffets can be a nightmare for those with food allergies (not to mention dining tables with lots of food spillage), so talk to college administration with your child to see what measures are in place to protect those with food allergies, and see if your child can have living arrangements where he can (safely) prepare his own food.

In the end, as Lori says, we have one goal for our food-allergic and non-allergic children alike: “to make sure their physical, emotional, and social needs are met so they can focus on going about the business of being regular kids.” By helping each other through challenges in the summer – and all year round – we can do just that.

How To Bring On The Funny In Life And Parenting

May 31, 2012 by The Motherhood

What do you do when you’re stressed, angry, at the end of your rope? A lot of words probably come to mind – and I doubt “laugh” is one of them.

But that is exactly what Shari Simpson-Cabelin – blogger at Earth Mother just means I’m dusty, comedy teacher at Gotham City Improv, and all-around funny lady – advises we should do. In times of stress, laugh!

Shari gathered a group of side-splittingly funny bloggers in The Motherhood today to share their take on bringing humor into the home: Marinka of Motherhood in NYC, Alexandra of Good Day, Regular People, Tarja of The Flying Chalupa, Erin of I’m Gonna Kill Him, and Ann of Ann’s Rants.

Why the Stress?

Life is stressful, yes. But we all have particular triggers that can turn a little tension into a lot of anger. For Tarja of The Flying Chalupa, “Low blood sugar is the cause of much non-humor in my household. Because nothing is funny without a full stomach. For me or my kids.”

So rather than succumb to the triggers – try to inject some lightness and humor into the situation and bring your family back from the Dark Side.

If “The Funny” doesn’t come naturally to you, don’t worry. “Funny does NOT come naturally to me when I’m running late for preschool. Or in a fender-bender. Or dealing with sick kids. Or…a lot of the time,” said Tarja. But “you CAN learn humor. I finally found it by the 4th year of college.”

Humor Through Humility

The jokes don’t always need to be about someone else, as Marinka of Motherhood in NYC reminded us: “It’s great to be able to show your kids that you can laugh at yourself, that someone else doesn’t have to be the butt of the joke,” she said, and Ann of Ann’s Rants agreed, “I think laughing at ourselves gives our kids permission to take life a little less seriously. It’s when they start heckling me I have a problem.”

When your kids still show signs of flying into a full-on tantrum, Tarja of The Flying Chalupa takes the if you can’t beat ’em, join ’em approach. “I like to indulge in the Adult Boo-Hoo,” she said. “You’re gonna cry? Mommy’s gonna cry too! Get’s ’em every time. Or it gets me every time at least.”

Having – and Being – a “Fun” Parent

It’s okay to laugh with your kids. Humor done right won’t make them respect you any less, and they’ll thank you for it when they’re older. “My kids do get embarrassed when I dance around or sing, but I know they will have fond/terrifying memories of it later,” said Ann of Ann’s Rants.

“I would much rather have an embarrassing mom than a boring one,” added Tarja of The Flying Chalupa about her own mother.

“My two teens feign embarrassment. But deep down I have myself convinced that they’ll be telling stories about me with their hand over their mouth stifling a laugh. In a very good way,” said Alexandra of Good Day, Regular People.

Bringing Humor to Your Own Family

1) Use exaggeration and sarcasm. “It’s the best tip in the world and works every single time with everyone,” said Marinka of Motherhood in NYC, and Erin of I’m Gonna Kill Him added, “Exaggeration and sarcasm can totally be taught – even my 3 year old knows when I’m being ridiculous.”

2) Keep track of the funny moments. “I keep a hard copy family calendar in the kitchen only for the funny that they say. I’ve been writing down the funny they do or say since they could move. So, I have 17 calendars of all the funny stuff,” said Alexandra of Good Day, Regular People. “They’ll get these out and laugh at them. They think of themselves as funny b/c of this proof. To think of yourself as funny is a pretty good self esteem builder.”

3) Do pet voices. Shari does her dogs’ voices, and her “kids (and husband) LOVE that,” she said. Alexandra voices her two beta fish, and Marinka does her cat’s voice: “And she’s always saying how right I am about everything.”

4) Turn on the music. Tarja of The Flying Chalupa gets “loosey goosey when I turn on the music. I’m curious – which songs helps you lighten things up?”

5) Know what always works. “My kids can always make each other laugh with funny faces. Of course, I’m stuck with mine,” cracked Ann of Ann’s Rants.

And if you can’t do it for any other reason, bring some humor into your house because it’s healthy. And so is chocolate. No joke.

The Naptime Chef: Fitting Great Food Into Family Life

May 23, 2012 by The Motherhood

Is there anything more enjoyable than sitting around with your women friends, talking about family and trading recipes? Not for me. That’s why I loved our talk today in The Motherhood, when we sat down with Kelsey Banfield, known around Internet parts as The Naptime Chef, who’s got a new cookbook out. Kelsey was joined by Winnie Abramson of Healthy Green Kitchen and Angie McGowan of Eclectic Recipes … and a bunch of moms hungry for a good discussion about cooking foods we love for people we love.

My first dinner after bringing my first child home from the hospital was Chinese takeout. My second was lasagna, made by a friend, and fed to me forkful by forkful while I tried to nurse a newborn. After those early days, I had more time to cook (and eat) … but not much. That’s why the premise of Kelsey’s blog and cookbook is so welcome: we can feed our families well, in the little snippets of time we have.

Kelsey’s cookbook features breakfast, salads, snacks, dinner, dessert and pantry staples – what she refers to as “all the food we consider family food.” In other words, the types of recipes and tips we all turn to for everyday eating. And like cooking for family, it sounds like the creation of the cookbook was a labor of love. Kelsey said, “It was a ton of work, but I loved it. I tested each recipe several times, used a recipe tester and then wrote everything down. It took a lot of work to keep the voice and work consistent throughout. I loved the process!”

When you’re talking with a cookbook author, the conversation necessarily turns to meal planning – and the lack thereof. Kelsey says flying by the seat of your culinary pants can be a great way to generate recipes you never would have thought of otherwise – reassurance for those of us who sometimes look up to see it’s 5:00 and realize we don’t have anything planned, much less prepared. Pinterest is a new favorite tool for both finding and keeping track of recipes we’d love to try.

Several people commented that planning about three meals a week works out well – plan too many, and you can’t eat all the leftovers; plan not enough, and you find yourself at the drive-thru. Winnie has a designated noodle night, Asian night, and Mexican night. She noted, “This helps direct my shopping but there’s still lots of room for creativity.” A perfect metaphor for motherhood: structure and flexibility are both needed for things to work.

Of course, we just had to ask Kelsey what her favorite recipe from her cookbook was. Like all good mothers, she had trouble identifying a favorite among her babies, but allowed that she really likes asparagus with feta, browned butter asparagus risotto and couscous salads for spring and summer. Artichoke lasagna is a beloved cold weather dish. I’ve never had it or even heard of it, but it sounds so good I think I’d pick up the cookbook for that recipe alone.

It’s possible to cook well, and it’s possible to cook easy foods, and it’s possible to cook healthfully. It’s just difficult to do them all at once. Kelsey, like so many of us, is hooked on fresh summer produce from the garden or the farmer’s market, which helps achieve the nutritious/delicious/efficient hat trick. I had to ask about convenience foods, too. As much as I prefer not to rely on box, bag, or can, sometimes your back’s against the dinnertime wall and you have no choice. Kelsey avoids canned foods as much as possible because of BPA, but finds boxed POMI tomatoes and boxed chicken stock useful, healthy, and tasty. Angie seconded the recommendation for POMI, and also depends on olives, beans and refried beans as staples.

Of course that launched us into a discussion of go-to meals when time’s short. Deborah says her family will eat “anything wrapped in a tortilla.” Cooper makes marinated grilled flank steak, Emily makes risotto with whatever veggies are on hand, and Erin makes ravioli with sauteed zucchini and Parmesan. And because our kids love dessert, even when we don’t love making it, we shared ideas for that, too. Lots of fresh fruit, of course, but surprising presentations – Emily said her kids have actually learned to make pavlovas, big fancy looking meringues that she swears are easier than pie. And Erin shared her recipe for one-minute chocolate cake!

Kelsey has an automatic popsicle maker that’s a big hit at dessert time at her place. She wondered what appliances the rest of us love and can’t live without. Angie swears by her food processor, Winnie and Deborah by their blenders. Immersion blenders are popular favorites, as are slow cookers, and everybody loves a Kitchen Aid stand mixer.

I could have sat forever at my (virtual) kitchen table, trading tips, tricks, recipes (and confessions) with everyone, but these talks, like all good things, must end. Maybe in a few months we can have another one after we’ve had a chance to try out Kelsey’s cookbook, so we can share our favorite Naptime Chef recipes. Cookbook club, anyone?

Read the stellar reviews for Kelsey’s cookbook, The Naptime Chef: Fitting Great Food Into Family Life, here.