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The Little Book of Diet Help

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Today in The Motherhood, author Kimberly Willis discussed the unique tips and tricks she outlines in her new book, The Little Book of Diet Help, with a fantastic group of bloggers, including Joey, Real Mom Media; Staci, November Sunflower; Shanna, Motherhood on the Rocks; and Steph, A Grande Life.

 

“My book is a portable diet coach. It can work with your lifestyle and help you to break the emotional chains which are attaching you to that excess weight,” Kimberly explained.

 

“I know that with the plan I’m on, it’s definitely a lifestyle change. I also like to call it a weight loss journey,” agreed Stephanie of A Grande Life.

 

 

Addressing Food Emotions

 

“I wondered if any of you have ever been on a diet and found that either you gained the weight straight back on – or that you just couldn’t seem to shift it in the first place?” asked Kimberly. “This happens to most of the people I work with. They know what they need to do – but there are emotional issues, habits and food rules that need to be dealt with.”

 

“I agree. Emotional. I lost 40 pounds. AHEM. Gained 60. And I wonder why?!?!?! I know why. I eat for comfort. BAD,” replied Joey, Real Mom Media.

 

The emotions and habits tied to food differ from person to person. In Kimberly’s own experience, “it was understanding the food/mood links. Realising that what I was eating changed the way I felt. For example loads of sugar would give me a buzz then cause my mood and energy to crash. Eating foods that support the feel good chemicals in your brain can really help – like turkey, almonds, bananas, etc.”

 

Beating the Cravings

 

Kimberly had a few suggestions for decreasing the intensity of food cravings: “If it’s an emotional craving – rub the area under your nose and above your top lip for a minute or two. This is a soothing acupressure point,” she suggested.

 

For sugar cravings, “you can try this tip – rub the cartilage at the front of your ear between your thumb and first finger for a minute or two. You will find your craving is much less,” Kimberly added.

 

Helping Yourself Eat Healthy

 

“Education and understanding how the food you eat affects you is key,” Kimberly said.

 

Shanna of Motherhood on the Rocks goes without.  “I have to keep unhealthy foods out of my house. Out of sight, out of mind.”

 

“Learning more about what I’m putting into my body helps a lot,” added Staci of November Sunflower. “And not depriving myself of anything I really want. I eat clean, but I still enjoy some not so healthy stuff once in a while.”

 

Avoiding junk food deprivation is important, according to Kimberly Willis. She agreed with Staci, “It’s best never to ban foods. Forbidding a food just makes you think about it more and more – then you have some and feel like you are a failure. Allowing yourself a bit of the food you crave is good, then you can get on with your day!”

 

Boosting Energy to Avoid Lazy Eating

 

“You totally need to get rest at night. It’s when your body heals itself,” said Stephanie of A Grande Life.

 

And many in the group echoed the sentiment expressed by Tammy of Tammy’s Two Cents: “If I am tired or stressed I eat poorly.”

 

If you feel your energy flagging during the day, “for a quick energy boost, try standing up (if you are not too tired) and marching swinging opposite arms – then change and swing the same arms as legs,” advised Kimberly. “Do this for a couple of minutes and you will boost your energy.”

 

Staying on Track

 

Kimberly and the blogger co-hosts provided good general advice.

 

1) Believe in yourself. “Have you ever thought about your beliefs? Some key beliefs that can cause problems for weight loss are ‘I will always be big’ ‘Diets don’t work for me’ ‘I always gain the weight back,'” Kimberly pointed out.

 

2) Drink lots of water. “It really helps to fill you up and flush out the toxins,” said Shanna of Motherhood on the Rocks.

 

3) Mental tools. “I try to think of one thing every day that has or will bring positive change into my life (even if its something silly like new mascara that makes me feel pretty). I also rely on inspirational quotes a lot,” said mommabrown08.

 

4) The right food. “Lean meats, whole grains, lots of vegetables, low glycemic foods in general,” Becki advised.

 

5) An exercise that fits your lifestyle. “If I get outside for a walk or go to yoga, I crave healthy foods afterward. If I don’t, my cravings lean toward chocolate and other sweets,” noted Emily of The Motherhood.

Raising Authentic Girls

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It’s a question every mother of a daughter is familiar with, and one that many of us still struggle with, even as adults: how can we empower our girls to embrace the best parts of their authentic selves? Deal with mean girls? Squash insecurities?

 

Rachel Simmons, founder of the Girls Leadership Institute, joined us in The Motherhood to talk about helping our daughters navigate the often treacherous waters of growing up female. Rounding out the discussion panel were Emily of Mommin’ It Up!, Jill of The Diaper Diaries, Molly of GO MOM!, and Jenna of A Mom’s Balancing Act.

 

Below, some of the highlights from our conversation:

 

Mean Girls in the Media

 

Annabeth asked how others deal with all the mainstream TV shows and movies that make mean-girl type behavior seem normal and acceptable.

 

One option, identified by Jill of The Diaper Diaries, was to severely limit exposure to TV and media: “Probably to an extreme, but I don’t apologize for it. There is very little quality programming aimed at youth. I would rather be a “mean mom” than have a mean girl.”

 

Others allow the programming to be watched, but all agreed that we need to use “teachable moments,” talking with our girls and helping them reflect on behavior they see on TV and whether it’s acceptable.

 

Where the Boys Are

 

Temysmom identified a situation in which a girl who has a lot of friends who are boys (as distinct from “boyfriends”) can find herself the target of other girls’ jealousy. Molly of GO MOM! acknowledged the importance of “teaching my daughter to know when something isn’t about her, but it’s the other person’s issue…that, I’m not looking forward to… (it’s) complicated even for grown-ups who just want to get along.”

 

Dr. G wondered if having older brothers helps with girls’ confidence at this age. Molly of GO MOM! acknowledged that it might, noting that older brothers can be both supportive and protective, particularly if there’s an age gap.

 

Rachel Simmons was asked, “If you could teach boys one lesson about girl culture and how to change it, what would that be?” Her thoughtful response was, “I would teach them about the pressures of masculinity and how it affects the way they interact with girls. That way, they could not only help girls, but understand the role society plays in shaping some of their behavior.”

 

Unholy Trinities and Other Hazards of Girlhood

 

Jenna and several moms observed that, even into adulthood, groups of three girls or women can be complicated, with someone often feeling left out.

 

Rachel Simmons offered that “some things you can do with your daughter include letting her know that it’s not her fault, and that it’s hard for everyone in threes…” She noted that role playing with our daughters can be really helpful in teaching them to articulate their feelings and needs.

 

Emily of Mommin’ It Up pondered whether we send messages to girls that mean-girl drama is a self-fulfilling prophecy or a way of life. Several people agreed, that through portrayals in the media, and sometimes our own behavior (like gossip), we do.

 

Rachel had this to say: “We live in a culture that doesn’t take female aggression as seriously as male aggression. There are many reasons for that – in part, it makes women appear less threatening, and it also makes it harder to take them seriously.”

 

And when you find out your daughter IS the mean girl? Molly of GO MOM! counseled, “Go straight to the source ~ kids aren’t inherently mean so I’d want to do all I could to find out what kind of situation could provoke that kind of response.”

 

Jenna of A Mom’s Balancing Act added, “We’d definitely be discussing how we treat others and the way she would want to be treated. Also taking a look at who she is hanging around, as well as what other factors might be contributing to her behavior.”

 

Sandy M. asked the panel at what age girls outgrow mean-girl behavior, if ever. Rachel cited recent research that suggests that mean-girl behavior is “like any other behavior your child displays: if you don’t weigh in and say “no,” the tacit message is, “go right ahead.”

 

One reason why we have so many aggressive girls is that mothers don’t always take it seriously when their daughters start saying things like, “You can’t come to my birthday party if you don’t give me that toy.” Rachel Simmons allowed that for some girls, being mean is a developmental phase that they do outgrow.

 

The Struggle All Girls Have

 

Emily McKhann wondered if there were particular themes that consistently arise in Girls Leadership Institute gatherings. Rachel Simmons responded that, in girls around second and third grade,”they are just coming into the sophistication of group divisions and how that can be manipulated both to deal with (their) own feelings and raise (their) social status.”

 

She went on to say, “One struggle girls — indeed, all women, have — is that no matter how carefully you try to assert yourself, people think you are being ‘mean.’ This has been observed in women who ask for pay raises, and girls who try to lead. I also think another issue that plagues girls’ leadership is that so many girls are taught to be friends with everyone. It is the one relationship they are told is primary. That makes it awfully hard to have colleagues, subordinates, etc. — and therefore challenging to have to invoke leadership skills. If you’re supposed to be liked by all, how can you assert yourself? That’s why I think it’s so crucial for girls to learn early that not everything is personal, and not everyone is your friend — and that’s okay!”

 

That, I think, is a lesson all daughters could stand to learn. Even (or especially) when they have daughters of their own.

 

More Good Reads on Empowering Girls:

 

Rachel’s website: http://www.rachelsimmons.com/

 

Molly: Why Are Girls (And Women) So Mean? http://www.gomominc.com/why-are-girls-and-women-so-mean

 

Emily: On Raising Daughters
http://momminitup.com/daughters/on-raising-girls/

 

Jill: Mean Girls Suck
http://thediaperdiaries.net/mean-girls-suck/

 

Jenna: Raising Confident Daughters
http://www.momsbalancingact.com/2012/01/raising-confident-daughters-live-talk.html

 

Packaging Girlhood by Sharon Lamb and Lyn Mikel Brown: http://www.packaginggirlhood.com/index.html

 

Enlightened Sexism by Susan Douglas: http://www.susanjdouglas.com/

 

 

Amy McCready on Parenting Without Nagging, Reminding or Yelling

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You’ve yelled and reminded and nagged … and your child’s room still isn’t clean.  And her homework still isn’t done.  What’s a parent to do?

 

Amy McCready, author of “If I Have to Tell You One More Time … The Revolutionary Program That Gets Your Kids to Listen Without Nagging Reminding or Yelling,” gave us numerous positive parenting solutions for common family situations during a Talk in The Motherhood today.

 

“MY VISION FOR YOU … that you can’t even remember the last time you raised your voice,” said Amy McCready. “Not saying that we’ll never yell. We ARE human! But, I want you to have to think long and hard about the last time you raised your voice.”

 

Here are the top parenting challenge areas that surfaced during the Talk, and the best advice for handling them:

 

1. How Can I Get Started?

 

“Being a parent can be hard and discipline can take a lot of practice and thought. Giving yourself time to learn and figure out the parent you want to be is the best thing you can do now [with babies and very young kids],” said Polly Schlafhauser, founder and president of Families With Purpose.

 

2. How Can I Discipline without Time Outs?

 

Amy McCready recently hosted a webinar on Why Times Outs Are a Waste of Time.

 

For a different take, “When my son was little, we did ‘hug-it-out Time Outs,'” said Katie Bugbee, managing editor of Care.com. “We held him tight and counted to 30 every time he did something bad (hitting, being out of control). In most cases, he just needed to calm his body – and we needed to help him do that.”

 

3. How Can I Get My Kids to Do Chores without Nagging?

 

“One thing I did was to share the ownership of the chores rather than be the keeper of the list,” said Polly Schlafhauser. “I now use a big dry erase board hanging in a very central spot where EVERYONE can see it.”

 

“WHEN-THEN routines work SO well,” added Amy McCready. “WHEN the yucky stuff is done – THEN you can do the more fun parts of your daily routine. Don’t forget to place a deadline on the when-then routine when it is appropriate.”

 

4. How Can I Eliminate Whining?

 

“Remember that kids continue doing what WORKS! If the behavior (whining) gets your attention – they’ll keep doing it!” Amy pointed out. “The best strategy is to IGNORE WHINING. Practice using a calm voice – but in the moment when she’s whining – IGNORE!!!”

 

5. How Can I Convince Them to Stop Telling Tall Tales?

 

“Depends on why he’s lying,” said Amy McCready. “If it’s to get out of trouble – be sure that your discipline methods are focused on ‘learning’ rather than blame, shame and pain. Sometimes they tell tall-tales. You can say… ‘Hmmm, that sounds interesting. Can you tell me more about what really happened?'”

 

6. How Can I Enforce Getting Homework Done?

 

“We require them to set goals for the grades they thought were appropriate in each subject if they gave 110%. After they set their goals, we promised to not nag them or follow up with them as long as they met their goals or came to us and told us they were having trouble,” said Polly Schlafhauser. “As long as they met their goals, they get to keep their cell phones. If they don’t meet their goals then they lose their phones.”

 

7. How Can I Make Them Stop Misbehaving?

 

“I usually get in their face and make them separate themselves,” said Kelly Lester, singer, actress and CEO of Easy Lunchboxes. “They hate that, so they usually stop the indoor wildness if it means they can’t play together anymore.”


Jodi Hitchcock suggested, “Make a point of having active time every day at the same time. About a half hour before lunch either bundle up and play outside or go for a walk. If the weather is not appropriate then turn on some music and have a crazy dance party in doors. Whatever it is, let them get all those wiggles out!!”

 

“Believe it or not – it has nothing to do with a consequence!!” replied Amy McCready. “It is spending 1-on-1 time with your kids on a daily basis filling their attention baskets. We call it Mind, Body & Soul Time. Honestly – do this daily and you’ll see misbehavior start to fall off the radar screen!”

 

8. How Can I Defuse a Tantrum?

 

“‘Forcing’ kids to go [to their rooms] can be counter productive – it’s better to remove YOURSELF from the room – disengage while he’s throwing a tantrum,” said Amy McCready.

 

Amy also shared a link with free articles and resources on specific strategies for dealing with tantrums.

 

9. How Can I Get Them to Clean Their Rooms?

 

Amy McCready suggested two strategies: “1) Use a when-then routine. WHEN your room is clean – then we’ll leave for soccer. 2) Our rule is that rooms have to be cleaned up by 5 PM. Anything that’s left lying on the floor, etc. – will go into a box and be unavailable for the next week.”

 

Added Kelly Lester, “I just told my 14 year old that she’s going nowhere unless I see a non-asked for general cleanliness improvement on a daily basis. NOT just when she wants to go somewhere!”

 

10. How Can I Encourage Them to Take Responsibility?

 

“My husband created a chart to remind our boys of some simple household rules,” said staciebuesing. “If you turn it on turn it off….If you mess it up clean it up….If you open it close it….”

 

“Love it – visual reminders are so helpful so you don’t have to NAG!!!!” replied Amy McCready.

 

11. Why Don’t My Kids Respond to Discipline the Same Way?

 

“I feel like parenting is like playing a video game. Once you feel like you’ve mastered one level (kid) along comes another with totally new challenges that you have to decipher!” said Becki.

 

“Remember there aren’t ‘blanket consequences’ [for misbehavior],” said Amy McCready. “You pick the tool that will be most helpful for that behavior.”

 

12. The Most Important Takeaway

 

“UNIVERSAL TRUTH…kids have a HARD-WIRED NEED for emotional connection and POSITIVE attention,” said Amy McCready. “If we don’t fill their attention basket DAILY with individual time and attention – they’ll get our attention but in NEGATIVE WAYS – whining, tantrums, power struggles, etc.”

 

“Over the holidays, my husband and I had ‘dates’ with our son. It was so much fun for everyone.. but we had to hire a sitter to get the time alone with just him,” said Katie Bugbee. “Right now, our 1:1 time comes at bedtime.. when one of us snuggles with one of them.”

 

Thanks everyone!

 

Amy McCready, author, “If I Have to Tell You One More Time…” and founder of Positive Parenting Solutions

 

Polly Schlafhauser, founder and president, Families With Purpose

 

Jen Singer, Momma Said

 

Katie Bugbee, managing editor, Care.com

 

Jennifer Zaranis, senior manager for national marketing, The Mommies Network

 

Kelly Lester, singer, actress, CEO of Easy Lunchboxes

 

Be sure to check out the full Talk transcript here.

Weight Loss on a Budget: The Simple Diet with Dr. James Anderson

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Dr. James Anderson was in The Motherhood today to discuss his new book The Simple Diet: A Doctor’s Science-Based Plan, which outlines a budget-friendly diet for losing weight.

 

Some ‘food for thought’ from the conversation:

 

Getting Started

 

Dr. Anderson said, “To be successful, many people need to develop a deep commitment to the importance of losing weight and improving health and mobility for their family and loved ones. One needs to have a HEART for weight loss.”

 

We’ve all fallen off a dieting wagon at some point.  “‘Simple’ is such a critical thing for me,” said Becki. “I don’t want to have to whip out a little booklet or an app on my phone every time I want to eat.”

 

Said Jenn of SuperJenn, “Making this a family commitment is a big part of success, as well.  When one person is going it alone it is more difficult.”

 

When You’re on a Strict Budget…

 

“One of the central features of the Simple Diet is the use of three shakes per day. We estimate that moderately obese people can save $75/week on the Simple Diet,” said Dr. Anderson.

 

According to Nicole of SAHM Reviews, “When we changed our eating habits, we realized that we spent less because we were eating less. Think about the cost of a steak … we used to cook two when we ate steak, but now we cook one.  That savings offset what we spent on produce. Coupon savvy moms need to remember that they can just transfer their savings from one product to another!”

 

“For a budget-minded dieter, I recommend purchasing fresh fruit and vegetables in season and preparing them with Splenda or non-caloric additives to be tasty,” said Dr. Anderson. “Canned fruits and vegetables also are good choices – rinse them to get rid of sugar and salt.”

 

The frozen entrees allowed in The Simple Diet help with portion size but still can be “more expensive than the cost of making my own foods,” said Rachael of Empowering Mommy.

 

But, as Christy of Quirky Fusion pointed out, “I think about how much my time is worth, especially during the day. I’d rather spend a bit more on a frozen meal during the day than carve out precious work time to cook. But I also like working more than cooking.”

 

When You Can’t Cook at Home…

 

According to Brett of This Mama Loves Her Bargains, when eating salad, “Dip your fork in the dressing, then put food on the fork – then your tastebuds get the flavor and not a ton of extra calories in each bite!”

 

“When I order at a restaurant I ask them to bring a box at the same time and before I even begin, place half of the meal in the box to take home for another time,” added Jenn of SuperJenn.  She also advised, “I’ve found that all of the cheese found on restaurant food can really hide the flavor of the meal as well… asking for ‘lite cheese’ can cut calories and increase the flavor of the dish.”

 

As a guest in another person’s home, politely maintaining your diet can be trickier.  Rachael of Empowering Mommy said, “My husband has learned to respectfully say, ‘I’m just watching my calories as I try to lose weight.’ He still tries everything, but small portions of the things that are high in calories.”

 

When You Don’t Have Enough Time…

 

The Simple Diet allows for low-cal frozen food options, which are a time-saver, but as Dr. Anderson says, “The sodium content of many frozen food entrees can be high. You can shop the hundreds of entrees available and find lower sodium ones.”

 

Double your favorite recipes when you’re cooking, so you can freeze the extra.  “I love making soups. Tons of veggies and plenty of leftovers to freeze for another night,” said Emily.

 

When You Just Want MORE…

 

“The Simple Diet relies on VOLUME,” said Dr. Anderson. “We recommend 64 oz of noncaloric fluid daily. Fruits and vegetables provide volume with only 15-30 cal/oz. Shakes provide volume with 10-20 cal/oz … People report initially that they cannot eat all the food.”

 

“Hydration can make such a difference in so many aspects of your health!!” agreed Jenn of SuperJenn. “Sometimes when we feel hungry, our bodies are actually thirsty, right?”

 

“On the Simple Diet we recommend eating fruit but not using fruit juices. The fruits, often with the apple, peach or pear skins, have more fiber and take longer to eat. Research shows that this is an important aid to weight loss,” said Dr. Anderson.

 

Here’s to a healthy New Year! You can read the whole transcript of the Talk with Dr. Anderson here.

 

Thanks to Dr. Anderson and our fantastic co-hosts for leading an inspiring and informative Live Talk:

 

Brett, This Mama Loves Her Bargains

Christy, Quirky Fusion

Jenn, SuperJenn

Nicole, SAHM Reviews

Rachael, Empowering Mommy

 

Navigating Food Allergies: Safe Halloween Treats and a Live Talk with Author Sandra Beasley

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Just in time to get into the spirit of Halloween, moms concerned with food allergies met in TheMotherhood on October 25, 2011, to discuss safe and fun ways to handle this food-centric holiday with their children.

 

Sandra Beasley, author of “Don’t Kill the Birthday Girl: Tales from an Allergic Life,” and Lori Sandler, founder of Divvies Bakery and author of The Divvies Bakery Cookbook, hosted the class and led the conversation with their insights and ideas.  Contributing to the discussion were co-hosts Barbara Rosenstein from the Food Allergy Initiative, www.faiusa.org (the world’s largest private source of funding for food allergy research), and Susan Weissman, advocate, writer for the Huffington Post, and past co-host of the Navigating Food Allergies series on TheMotherhood.

 

Read on for the top seven “spook-tacular” tips discussed during the live chat!

 

 

#7: Take the Focus Off of Food

 

Halloween generally revolves around “treats” – particularly candy, which often is not safe for kids with food allergies.  Some parents substitute non-food items like money or toys for candy.

 

“I’ve been hearing about some inventive ways to approach candy that’s not safe,” said Sandra Beasley. “One parent suggests bringing in the tooth fairy to save the day!” Here is the story: http://alwayssick.com/2011/09/22/trick-or-treating-with-food-allergies/

 

Julie Pippert said, “This year, for a variety of reasons — food allergies, health, etc. — I got little Halloween themed toys to hand out: erasers, pencils, sticky lizards and spiders, silly little things.”

 

“Putting emphasis on the costume really helps too,” added Sandra Beasley. “But I love seeing goody baskets that include little notepads, plastic spider rings, etc. Those are cheap & easy to mix in — just go to the party supply section of any dollar store.”

 

“We do have a tradition in my neighborhood where we take basket of treats to two neighbors in the days before Halloween, ring-and-run, and leave the baskets on the doorstep with a poem asking that they do the same,” said Becki. “We stuff our baskets with fun things like cookie cutters, glow sticks, etc., as well as a few nut-safe candies. That’s a fun tradition that my kids love, and the emphasis is less on the food.”

 

Pumpkin carving and Halloween crafting and decorating could be another good way to celebrate the season while avoiding food.

 

“Traditions , such as pumpkin carving, are a wonderful way to make holidays more special,” said Lori Sandler.

 

 

#6: Practice Allergy-Friendly Treating

 

However, you don’t need to leave food completely out of the equation.  In addition to treats, Halloween is a big social event – particularly for older kids.  Try using the social aspect of the holiday to ensure your child feels included in the activities.

 

Lori Sandler “always organized a pre-Trick-or-Treating dinner for our sons’ friends and parents. Made all of their favorite foods and desserts … totally allergen-safe for Benjamin and his other friends who have food allergies. This way, everyone felt that they had lots of treats before we even began Trick-or-Treating!”

 

At the bottom of this page, you can find tips for hosting your own allergy-safe Halloween Boo-fet (Buffet)!

 

 

#5: Empower Your Kids

 

Look at Halloween as an awareness and education opportunity, both for your children and others who might not have food allergies or understand the challenges.  We can educate others about food allergy safety and inclusion by example.

 

Susan Weissman pointed out, “We don’t use Halloween as a time to raise food allergy awareness. We just navigate the challenges of that particular year.”

 

“That’s why it is so good when you let the kids who come to your door pick their OWN treats, instead of picking out the candy for them,” replied Sandra Beasley. “Give kids the power.”

 

Julie Pippert suggested a slightly different method.  “I tend to hand it out myself, though I’ll let them verbally pick,” she said. “It’s portion control. We get a TON of trick or treaters. I easily buy $40 worth and 10 lbs and run out every year!”

 

 

#4: Think of New Uses for Candy

 

If your child goes trick-or-treating and comes home with a full bag of candy he can’t eat because of food allergies, find another way he can use it.

 

“Here’s one idea I had based on my own childhood: make a BINGO card for your child’s Halloween experience that includes different brands, types of candy, ‘red wrapper,’ etc.,” suggested Sandra Beasley. “For every row they complete they win a non-food or allergy-friendly prize. This means that even when they go to a house with nothing they can eat, they might be able to get excited about X-ing out a square.”

 

You can also have your kids use candy as a form of “currency,” or something to trade for allergy-safe items.

 

At the end of the night on Halloween, Gabrielle’s kids “turn their candy in to us and we take them to the toy store and let them pick out whatever (within reason) toy they would like in place of the candy. Of course, we always keep safe treats in the house for them to enjoy too!”

 

 

#3: Safety First

 

Even with wrapped candy, cross-contamination can occur.

 

“We have a rule that candy cannot be eaten until we eliminate the unsafe candy, check the quality of the wrappers, and wash hands,” said Julie Trone. “Any wrappers that have been loosened get tossed.”

 

Added knmtwins, “I deliver safe treats to everyone we know double bagged in Ziplocs. May be obsessive, but haven’t had cross contamination issues since.”

 

“My strategy is to buy all nut-allergy safe candy and then, at the end of the night, let my daughter trade the unsafe treats she’s picked up from the goodies left over in our candy bowl (all of which I’ve chosen to appeal to her),” said Becki.

 

And be careful about less obvious risks, like Halloween masks and haunted houses.

 

Lori Sandler’s son Benjamin broke out in hives once after trying on another child’s latex mask after he had eaten something Benjamin was allergic to.

 

And Sandra Beasley pointed out, “I can remember being sent through houses that recreated freaky textures using foods (i.e. peeled grapes for eyeballs); they didn’t realize that for me, the REAL terror was getting an unfamiliar food on my hands.”

 

 

#2: Be Available at Your Children’s Halloween Parties

 

To help your children avoid uncomfortable party situations, make yourself available whenever possible to check out the food ahead of time.

 

Lori Sandler proposed that parents/guardians “plan on attending classroom and out-of-school parties in order to check ingredients of all food being served, and to resolve safety concerns. If you can’t stay for the entire party, be sure to stay long enough to check all of the food ingredients.”

 

Sandra Beasley shared more tips from her experiences as a child. “If you’re ever dropping a child off into a party environment and you’ve made special arrangements, make sure your kid sees you talking to the person who will be in charge,” she said. “Sometimes a well-meaning parent would tell me ‘oh, you’re fine,’ but I wasn’t comfortable unless I knew my mother had actually talked to the adult.  At the same time, I didn’t want to be rude by refusing the parent’s offer. There were some awkward moments. Color-coded plates or bowls that the child knows are ‘safe’ — maybe serving ware they can recognize, with a distinct pattern from home — are also really helpful.”

 

“It helps to develop a relationship with the other parents in the class beyond friends parents and especially with any room parent,” noted Julie Trone. “I happen to be a bit nervous with other people bringing in food for my sons so I tend to discuss the idea beforehand, then ask if I can add to the classroom treats with safe treats for everyone. This way my children feel included.”

 

Gabrielle shared, “Yesterday I noticed some snacks on the table that I knew had a nut warning. Luckily I was there and mentioned it, even though my son brings his own personal snack every day just to be safe … I felt bad speaking up, but they were actually glad that I did!”

 

 

#1: Take Care of Kids’ Emotional Needs

 

All of these risks can add up to children feeling sensitive about perceived differences.

 

Lori Sandler emphasized that above all, when we take care of our children’s hearts first, it helps keep moments like trick-or-treating special and less stressful: “Remember your child’s emotional needs, and be careful about drawing unnecessary attention to his food allergies!”

 

Susan Weissman supported this point with a personal experience. “I find that younger children need our ‘language suggestions’ for tricky situations. (My) son went on a spooky Halloween walk in a local botanical garden with friends and he needed me to tell him how to say ‘no thank you’ to the spooks handing out candy if he didn’t feel like touching it.”

 

Sometimes Halloween becomes emotionally easier as children grow up.  Lori Sandler of Divvies and Elizabeth from Onespot Allergy have sons who have experienced similar situations.  Lori said her son Benjamin, now 13, enjoys Halloween a lot more now since it is more about being with friends rather than collecting tons of candy.

 

Elizabeth added, “I feel fortunate that my peanut/tree nut allergic son lost interest in trick or treating years ago. His brother is older and doesn’t go out either, so he doesn’t feel he’s missing anything. We also always have candy in the house, so there’s no motivation for him to hoard it at Halloween.”

 

 

BONUS! How to Host a Pre-Trick-or-Treating Boo-fet! (Buffet)

 

Here are some ideas for themes and allergy-friendly treats to feature at a Halloween Boo-fet:

 

 

Susan Weissman noted that “kids like the color theme – things that are black and orange even if they aren’t traditional Halloween fare. Could be tangerines and chopped up black licorice in bowls (we find Panda brand is safe).”

 

Erin suggested looking through The Divvies Bakery Cookbook by Lori Sandler, www.divvies.com, purchase safe candies and small toys, and create Halloween Baskets similar to Easter Baskets.

 

Lori Sandler asks her son Benjamin to help plan the menu. She noted that “it gave him a great sense of control and distracted him from thinking about what he may not be able to eat later in the evening.”

 

Julie Pippert shared a recipe for Jack O’Lantern Fruit Cups: http://parentingteens.about.com/od/recipesforkids/r/halloween221.htm

 

Sandra Beasley loves “the idea of playing with color versus sugar. Roast a mix of purple potatoes and butternut squash! Just preheat the oven to 400 degrees, coat it all in olive oil and salt, and roast away.”

 

Julie Trone makes a delicious gluten-free pumpkin bread that has been a hit in her home.  “It is also dairy, peanut, tree nut, seed, and soy free,” she said.

 

 

Resources

 

Fact sheet for avoiding anaphylaxis on Halloween: http://www.aaaai.org/Aaaai/media/MediaLibrary/PDF Documents/Libraries/EL-food-allergies-halloween-patient.pdf

 

Tips for handling Halloween parties at school and at home: http://www.kidswithfoodallergies.org/resourcespre.php?id=42

 

From Barbara Rosenstein, a link to companies (including Divvies) that offer allergy-friendly treats for Halloween and other holidays:
 https://www.faiusa.org/sslpage.aspx?pid=661

 

Making paper pumpkin ornaments: http://www.hostessblog.com/2008/09/diy-project-paper-pumpkin-craft/

 

 

Thank you to our wonderful hosts and co-hosts for their insights and suggestions on this important, timely topic!

 

Sandra Beasley, Don’t Kill the Birthday Girl: Tales from an Allergic Life

Lori Sandler, Divvies

Barbara Rosenstein, Food Allergy Initiative

Susan Weissman, Peanuts in Eden

 

 

See the original Talk here: http://tmotherhood.wpengine.com/talk/show/id/62286

 

The Science of Play

by

On June 8, 2011, moms came to TheMotherhood to chat with Susan Magsamen, Director of Interdisciplinary Programs at the Johns Hopkins School of Medicine and Co-Developer of the Neuro-Education Initiative in the School of Education, about her work with play and education and her new book, The Classic Treasury of Childhood Wonders.

 

Hosting the Talk with Susan was Michael Sarbanes, Executive Director of Partnerships, Communications, and Community Engagement at Baltimore City Schools.

 

Susan and Michael chatted with the group about the benefits of play and family activities.

 

“There is a growing body of research about play from a range of fields – psychology, neuroscience, cognitive science, education, etc. This work is really helping to shape parenting skills, education and other places where our kids are,” Susan said. “In the fall we are launching a site for folks interested in the research of learning called L-rn.com.  I am hoping all of you will be a part of it.”

 

Read on for more highlights!

 

 

How can you help your kids succeed?

 

“Parents are always asking me what they can do to help their children be successful in school and in life,” Susan acknowledged. “The answer is simple – play. We know that play is how children learn essential social and emotional skills that they need to learn to read, understand math and science and engage creatively in the world.”

 

Jo-Lynne Shane, Musings of a Housewife, voiced a concern echoed by others: “Uh oh. I’m so not a player with my kids. I look forward to hearing your suggestions!”

 

“So many moms aren’t!” Emily McKhann, TheMotherhood, reassured. “We hear that all the time in TheMotherhood. Life is super busy and there is so much to get done on any given day.”

 

“There is no limit to play. Think about all of the very successful people that play every day. They imagine, explore, create, take risks – sounds like fun to me,” said Susan.  “But perhaps we have forgotten and also, with the best intentions, replaced play with tests, sitting in chairs and overscheduled activities. I think this is the right intention and the wrong answer.”

 

 

Overscheduling

 

When it comes to play and learning, allowing kids ample free time to let their imaginations run wild is key.   Scheduling one activity or lesson after another saps children’s energy – factor in schoolwork, and you have an overly packed schedule!

 

“As my kids get older, I see this more and more! School and homework alone keep us so busy!” said Melissa Angert, Girlymama.

 

“We try to find that balance too!” agreed Tammy Berbells, Tammy’s Two Cents. “It’s hard because you want them to participate in things that interest them. We are learning as we go.”

 

“Agreed. It is a major problem,” said Susan. “There is research that suggests that kids are significantly more productive after a vacation. Think about that for adults. You rest, play, reconnect to your support systems. Makes so much sense.”

 

 

Summer play

 

When school is out for the summer and there’s no homework to be done, kids have more time to use their imaginations and enjoy playtime.  The group had some wonderful suggestions for summer play.

 

“Summer learning is so important, and play is the perfect way to really engage kids in meaningful and fun experiences,” said Susan. “When children are playing they are doing so many important things – creative expression, problem solving, collaborating, gaining knowledge and also, very importantly, learning how to communicate with others.”

 

“Outdoor play is fantastic for kids anytime of the year,” added R Golinkoff. “Not only do they get to use their bodies but they get to explore and play with other kids. There are many local parks within walking distance that Moms can use to turn their kids loose. Just add sunscreen!”

 

“I love playing hide and seek with my two kiddos (4 and 6),” said Aracely Worley, Daytripping Mom. “It’s a classic game and the kids love it. We also play tag. Many of the same games that we played when we were kids.”

 

For a different take on hide and seek, Tammy Berbells at Tammy’s Two Cents said, “One activity we do as a family that is fun and educational is geocaching! The kids are learning about GPS coordinates and using their brains thinking about where the treasure might be. If is a great family fun activity!”

 

“The Dragon Hunt activity in Susan’s book (my daughter’s favorite) is like a no-cost lowtech geocaching. She loves it,” said Michael Sarbanes.

 

Susan elaborated, “In the book we have a dragon hunt where you make a map for your child and they have to find the dragon.”  She added a few suggestions of her own: “Daydreaming is really fun and so is looking for fireflies – if you have them. Think about things you can do in the car too.”

 

Gardening was a popular outdoor family activity.  “We have a big family garden in our backyard, the kids love to help with it. They look so forward to it every year,” said Cheryl Budge, The Budge Bunch. “They have learned so much from talking about it, and picking everything out. They don’t even realize it!”

 

“This year we planted a pizza garden,” added Emily McKhann, TheMotherhood. “Of course, it’s round and has lots of tomatoes, basil and other veggies. The kids thought it was hilarious that we were planting everything in a big circle.”

 

Aracely Worley, Daytripping Mom, also suggested visiting “our local children’s museum. They are great resources and provide plenty of opportunities for play.”  She also noted that “one of our favorite activities in the summer is heading to our local beach or lake. We build sand castles, collect seashells and play in the water.”

 

“Children’s museums are a great resource,” Susan agreed. “We worked with several over the last year to launch the Ultimate Block Party. This is a day event that brings the science of learning and play together. Our first was in New York and we had over 75,000 people. Last weekend we hosted one in Toronto. In the fall we will have on in Baltimore.”  Check out www.ultimateblockparty.com to learn more!

 

Added Michael, “Childhood Wonders and the Block Party fit into a broader strategy to really empower parents – it also includes building a strong parent-child connection, learning at home, connecting with school, tapping into community resources, and celebrating!”

 

 

About the book

 

“The Childhood Wonders book is chock full of ideas for parents to do in everyday moments that reinforce natural curiosity and a child’s love of learning,” said Susan. “We have incorporated the 6 Cs – a developmental essential skills model in every activity.”

 

Susan added that the book “was created with hundreds of families – sharing their childhood memories. We added the development lens to help make everyday moments learning moments too.”

 

“I love this concept!” said Anjanette Barr, Raising the Barrs. “I draw frequently from the activities I remember enjoying most as a child. I frequently ask my mom if she remembers the way we did this or that.”

 

“So, building on favorite pastimes and layering in what researchers know about childhood development? That’s incredibly cool,” agreed Emily McKhann, TheMotherhood.

 

“Baltimore City Schools is providing copies of Susan’s book Childhood Wonders to all our pre-K students next week,” said Michael Sarbanes. “We will be doing workshops with parents at our public libraries during the summer to help introduce/reinforce the notion that family time can be incredibly powerful learning time. We also are providing a DVD of the readings and activities in the book so that parents can see and use the book, regardless of reading level.”

 

“Baltimore City School’s Family Institute is creating such an engaging model for families,” said Susan. “The idea of beginning to get families information, ideas and best practices – through a series of programs and tools to help inform, inspire and engage kids – is very exciting.”

 

 

THANK YOU to Susan Magsamen, Michael Sarbanes and our wonderful co-hosts!

 

Anjanette, Raising the Barrs
Aracely, Daytripping Mom

Cheryl, The Budge Bunch
Melissa, Girlymama
Shannon, The Mommy Files
Tammy, Tammy’s Two Cents

 

 

See the original Talk here: http://tmotherhood.wpengine.com/talk/show/id/62218