Tweens and Communication

October 4, 2011 by The Motherhood

On October 4, 2011, moms arrived at the third of four Tween Academy classes ready to talk about communicating with tweens – and it was a HOT topic. Questions, ideas and suggestions flew during the hour-long discussion.

The class was led by Rosalind Wiseman, parenting expert and New York Times bestselling author of Queen Bees and Wannabes, along with six blogger co-hosts. Rosalind will also be appearing on Anderson Cooper’s Town Hall show to talk about bullying on Oct. 9 and 14 at 8 p.m. ET, so check your local listings!

As a parent, it can be easy to think your child isn’t listening to you, but they are, and they need to know that you’re listening, too. According to the Unilever Tween Confidence Index, commissioned by fabulous Tween Academy sponsor Unilever’s partnering deodorant brands, the more tweens value talking to their parents, the higher self-confidence they’ll have.

But when it feels like they are disregarding your every word, it helps to get some sympathy and suggestions from other parents. As Dana said during the chat, it’s “nice to get ideas and know that you are not alone in the tween/teen zone.”

To be part of an ongoing discussion, you can visit Don’t Fret the Sweat on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/#!/DontFretTheSweat

And join us next week, October 11 at noon ET, to discuss Tweens and Building Self-Esteem!

Keeping Open Lines of Communication

Focus on listening. Often children confide in their parents to vent, not to get advice. Unless there is immediate physical danger, when your child tells you something, really listen. Many children are reluctant to share problems with their parents because they’re worried their parents will “freak out.”

Start with the small stuff. If you can talk to your kids at the start of puberty about growth spurts, body odor and deodorant, they will come to you later for bigger life moments and issues. Supporting research shows that confidence and self-esteem begins to decline as tweens transition to their teenage years (age 13-17), underscoring the importance of continual communication.

Thank them for sharing their problem with you. Reaching out to their parents is difficult for many kids, so it’s important to recognize this effort as you want to be a resource for your child in the future.

Overcoming Communication Challenges

Parents worry about a number of issues when it comes to communicating with their kids as they grow older and become quieter and less open.

“Keeping the honesty going is what I worry about,” said 1MomJustSaying, and Kailani at An Island Life said she struggles with “just getting my daughter to open up and talk to me.”

Dana sympathized, “Sometimes I wonder if he even hears me. I just get a blank look.”

You can find creative solutions to get through to your tween. Suggested Michele at Scraps of My Geek Life, “I use the technology to my advantage! Sometimes it’s easier for them to communicate using the phone so we text!”

And Kayla S had a low-tech version of the same idea. “Before cell phones (*GASP*), my mother and I would write letters to each other when the communication was hard,” she said. “That way, you can focus on what you want to say and get it out easier. It gives you time to think.”

To get kids to talk in more than a single syllable, “ask open ended questions. Not a yes or no answer. That helps us a ton,” said Carmen at Mom to the Screaming Masses. A few examples from the community:

Who did you sit with at lunch?

What did your teacher say about this?

Who ran with you in cross-country practice?

Did you have band today?

Do you like this band teacher more than the one last year?

How was your day?

Did you do anything fun?

And a few suggestions from Rosalind Wiseman, who asks “something specific but not oriented toward a task or achievement” to get her kids talking:

Anything unusually interesting happen today?

What was the weirdest thing that happened in school today?

What was the most interesting or surprising thing on the test?

“I get better answers when I’m more specific,” agreed Michele at Scraps of My Geek Life.

If the kids are being really unresponsive, “sometimes you just have to take a break. You know how sometimes you don’t want to talk with your hubby, but later it’s ok?” explained Carmen at Mom to the Screaming Masses.

Letting Tweens Know You’re on Their Side

Our kids often don’t understand that we are thinking of their best interests when we ask them to do something. In many cases, opening up and laying your cards on the table might be the very thing that convinces them that you’re trying to help.

To illustrate, Rosalind shared an example of how her 11-year-old son refused to shower one day. Finally, she told him, ‘Look, you and I will have about a million battles of wills in my lifetime. This shouldn’t be one of them. I am saying this to you because your body is changing, you need to take care of yourself, and you know that X kid in your class loves to tease people about anything he can and this is one of the ways kids embarrass each other. So this is not a battle of wills between you and me.’ Then she left. It worked – he took a shower.

“Those conversations usually start when I lay it all out and say, ‘here’s the deal….’” agreed Deborah.

“I LOVE that. So important to let them know that you’re on the same team,” said Becky Gillespie.

“Plus you walked away and let him internalize it – made it into his decision instead of forcing him ‘at gunpoint,’ so to speak,” added Sarah Auerswald.

Don’t make every teaching moment a battle of wills, and recognize when you and your tween have stopped listening to each other. “That’s the kind of honesty – about listening – that kids love. Some people worry that this takes away from our authority as parents. I disagree. I think it really shows them how and why to respect us as their parents,” said Rosalind Wiseman.

Competing with Technology for Attention

Cell phones and other technology can be one major battle of wills in the parent-tween relationship. While some moms use them to get kids’ attention and communicate, others struggle with tearing their tweens away from the devices.

“We prohibit texting one another in the house. We feel it doesn’t foster good conversations,” said Kristin at Only Parent Chronicles.

And Carmen at Mom to the Screaming Masses cited “getting my kids to put down the phones and listen to ME” as a communication barrier.

Sometimes you have to fight fire with fire. “If they keep looking at their phone, text them something like, ‘What’s so interesting?’ or repeat your actual question in a text. They may laugh it off and set the phone down,” suggested Dwan at Momma D Jane.

“I do find that when the cell phone is left at home, like on a family outing, we have a much better time,” Sandra said of her daughter. “She is more aware of her surroundings and participates with the family instead of being a by-stander with fingers glued to the phone.”

Make sure your kids are old enough to use a cell phone responsibly before rewarding them with one.

Rosalind Wiseman said, “I don’t think children should have cell phones until they are consistently going places on their own. When they go into large groups of people (concerts, an event the family goes to) I think it makes sense for kids to carry a cell phone [for safety], but that doesn’t mean they have to have their own.”

Privacy is a Privilege

When your kids do start using cell phones and open a Facebook account, you can – and often should – monitor their behavior.

“My twelve year old son has a cell phone, and I have told him that his texts are not private and I will periodically review them. I feel very uncomfortable doing this, but I feel less comfortable with him engaging in these kinds of communications without any supervision,” said Meryl.

Kristin at Only Parent Chronicles responded, “My kids got their cell phones with the understanding I could view their texts on demand. My daughter lost hers a year ago for sending inappropriate texts bullying another girl.”

Heather G laid ground rules right away when her daughter got a cell phone: “Phone stays off after 8pm in the kitchen, no Internet, no MMS (pictures), we have the right at any time to read her texts, we approve all address book adds.”

Some moms reported that their kids began deleting texts as soon as sending or receiving them to avoid punishment. Michele at Scraps of My Geek Life noted, “I told my kids that NOTHING is ever completely erased from their phones even when you hit delete.”

When it comes to Facebook, “My kids have to wait until 13,” said Carmen at Mom to the Screaming Masses, which is the age stipulated by Facebook’s Terms of Service. “And I have your password until you are old enough to demonstrate you can be adult enough about it, and I’ve changed the password if someone needs to be reminded to behave appropriately.”

Jen at Jael Custom Designs said, “Facebook is another way I’ve caught my kids. I’ve had to tell them to erase a few status updates. I closely monitor those as well.”

Rosalind Wiseman summed it up when she said, “If you use social networking like FB, FB says ‘connecting you to the world.’ It doesn’t say, ‘connecting you to everyone but the people you don’t want to see your postings on a moment to moment basis.’ If your child wants privacy, give them a journal and tell them to put it under their bed.”

Tough Conversations

Puberty, privacy, simply getting your kids to open up about their lives – those are all tough conversations, as are many topics you address with tweens. But there are other conversations to consider that may be a bit more off the beaten path.

“The most difficult thing for me is getting them to see where they’ve made a mistake. My kids are stubborn and never, ever wrong,” joked Carmen at Mom to the Screaming Masses.

And Kristin at Only Parent Chronicles said, in a similar vein, “The most difficult conversations to have with my kids revolve around personal accountability.”

No one loves to admit they were wrong or take the blame for their actions, but it is an important part of growing up. Sometimes tough love is the only way to get that message across.

“I was always worried about my son getting bad grades, so I would run his book to school that he left at home, or I would over-help on a project,” said Dana. “Then I got tired of him not learning or even being appreciative of what I was doing, so I stopped. It was really hard, but after facing a couple of tough consequences he did finally start to show more responsibility and appreciation.”

Being There When They Need You

Sometimes your children will be visibly upset but refuse to tell you what’s wrong. It can be especially hard to face an uncommunicative tween when tears are involved.

“My daughter will be obviously upset about something – crying even – and sit there and tell me everything’s fine. I don’t want to push too hard, but yet, how do I get her to open up in those moments? Or do I wait ‘til she’s ready to come to me?” said Brandie.

The group consensus was “leaving her alone for awhile but letting her know I’m there whenever she wants to talk. Works 99% of the time,” as indiana said.

“I often will just sit with them. Quietly – no questions. It has worked a few times,” added Deborah.

Sometimes it’s better to let them be. “I leave her alone for awhile and let her cry it out. I found she is more responsive to talking after she gets the tears out,” said Jeannine M.

Rosalind Wiseman suggested saying, “’Look, I respect your privacy, and I can’t make you tell me. I just want you to know everyone at some point has a problem that is too big to deal with alone. And asking for help or talking to someone is not weak. If you can’t talk to me, is there some other person who you think is smart enough and I think has good values, that you can talk to? Like my sister, brother, mom, favorite neighbor across the street, etc.’”

Agreed Jen at Jael Custom Designs, “My kids are good about going to an aunt or uncle to talk if they don’t want to open up to me about a particular subject. Sometimes I’m bothered by it, but at least they’re talking AND my sister and brother-in-laws always keep me in the loop.”

Keeping Your Cool

When your kids finally start talking, you might not be thrilled with what they have to say. But a big negative reaction will only make them clam up again.

“I’ve had to practice not overreacting with my teen when she tells me ‘not so great’ stories about some of her friends. This has helped her continue to open up to me and discuss their actions,” said Dwan at Momma D Jane.

“When I’m angry, I talk at them and not to them and that results in not being a good listener,” added Jen at Jael Custom Designs.

Suggested 1MomJustSaying, “We have learned that controlling one’s tone when speaking is the key to keeping the conversation from escalating to an aggressive state.”

And while it can be tough to swallow, remember that your kids won’t always agree with you. “It seems like as my daughter gets older, I lose a little credibility because she is exposed to other people’s opinions. That is a good thing and I want her to form her own opinions, but I guess I don’t want to feel like she disregards my opinions,” said Kate B. “Staying a trusted confidante without going too much into friend territory is something I worry about sometimes.”

Remembering Not to Limit Communication

You can remain a trusted confidante by being open to talking about anything and everything with your tween, and not telling them to stop when they open up.

“I have trained myself to listen to EVERY story my 12 yo daughter tells me. Even though it may be so boring and long winded,” said 1MomJust Saying. “My feeling is that if I stop her from talking then she will.”

If they’re shy, let them know they don’t have to tell you absolutely everything.

Rosalind Wiseman suggested, “For private kids I always tell them that they don’t have to tell me 100% but if they could give me 30% that would be awesome. I also think it is really important to overwhelm them with questions. If they have a hard time with something and are telling you the MOST important thing to say is ‘I am so sorry that happened to you, thank you for telling me and together we are going to think this through.’”

And while you should always be a parent to your child rather than their friend, your relationship doesn’t have to be lopsided.

Said Becky Gillespie, “My best tool with my daughter is when we’re able to share a level playing field – we both have something to add and she doesn’t feel like it’s another lecture. Books are huge for us. We read the same book, then talk about it.”

Resources

Sandra shared an article on raising girls: http://www.dotcomsformoms.com/10-top-resources-for-raising-girls

From Carmen at Mom to the Screaming Masses – create a Mind Jar to help your kids de-stress: http://www.herewearetogether.com/?p=2054

Nails in the Fence – a story to help your kids understand that angry words hurt: http://www.care2.com/greenliving/nails-in-fence-anger-story.html

Thank you!!!

A BIG thanks to Rosalind Wiseman to lending her parenting expertise to our Tween Academy classes, and to Unilever for being our sponsor and making this all possible! Another thank-you to our fabulous blogger co-hosts:

Carmen, Mom to the Screaming Masses

Jen, Jael Custom Designs

Michele, Scraps of My Geek Life

Kailani, An Island Life

Kristin, Only Parent Chronicles

Dwan, MommaDJane

Don’t Fret the Sweat on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/#!/DontFretTheSweat

See the original Talk here: http://tmotherhood.wpengine.com/talk/show/id/62266

Tweens and Personal Hygiene

September 28, 2011 by The Motherhood

Tween Academy continued with the second of four classes on September 28, 2011, and the topic of the week was tween hygiene. Moms arrived at the Unilever-sponsored class in TheMotherhood ready to exchange ideas and stories for cleaning up their kids’ act.

“Can’t wait to hear about all of your experiences! I made sure to put on a ton of deodorant,” joked Deborah at VodkaMom.

Rosalind Wiseman, parenting expert and New York Times bestselling author of Queen Bees and Wannabes, led the class with help from six blogger co-hosts.

During the tween years, increased hormones are starting to cause noticeable differences in your child’s body, and it’s important to talk to your tween to help them understand these changes. Growth spurts and developing body odors are totally normal at this age – and you can help them through those issues.

As Rosalind said, “We love our children, but we don’t have to love their stink! Personally, my younger son’s soccer cleats could be used as a weapon of mass destruction!”

To be part of an ongoing discussion, you can visit Don’t Fret the Sweat on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/#!/DontFretTheSweat

Discussing Physical Changes with Tweens

Respect their privacy. Don’t ever say anything around their friends or in any public place. Ever. Be patient.

Keep it light. If you’ve already noticed a new odor in his or her clothes, find a gentle, upbeat way to talk about some new things they might want to do now that their bodies are growing into adulthood. Think about how you felt when you were his or her age. You may want to share a funny memory about you or a classmate. Start the conversation and give your tween an opportunity to react.

Give them a say. Ask them if they want to go to the store with you to buy deodorant or other personal hygiene products for them or if they want you to do it. If they want you to do it, casually tell them what you bought and where they can find the items when you return.

Helping Tweens Develop Good Habits

“It’s really hard to convince the kids that they smell bad. They don’t get it… or they don’t care,” pointed out Carolyn, This Talk Ain’t Cheap.

As the parent of an oblivious tween, one of your toughest jobs is to convince your child in the nicest way possible that he or she needs to shower regularly and wear deodorant. And not go overboard on the smell-masking products.

Noted Latricia, One Stop Mom, “A little goes a long way with body mists and perfume … My 9-year-old drowns herself in it.”

One solution for heavy scents: Suggest to your tween that he or she spritz their perfume/cologne/body spray once in the air in front of them and walk through it. It won’t smell quite so overpowering.

“What I worry about for tweens is that so many of them are reaching puberty faster and BO is one of the first and really painful ways kids tease each other. So it’s really important to talk to our kids,” said Rosalind Wiseman.

“It’s a tricky line between educating them and making them self-conscious,” added Mary Davis, Everyday Baby Steps. Sometimes the solution is taking small steps and creating new routines.

Carolyn at This Talk Ain’t Cheap said, “I think getting your kids into the habit of regular bathing is the key. If the habit is to shower every night then you don’t have as many stinky issues.”

And with her own daughter, LoraK “keeps setting the deodorant right by her clothes or her toothbrush” to get the point across.

Showering Regularly

Habitual bathing can help eliminate BO problems, but only when your tween actually cooperates – and to keep smells at bay during the day, deodorant is key.

“Showers aren’t the issue, it happens each night. It’s proper cleaning!” said indiana.

“I was just talking to my 10 year old about it,” said gottalovemom. “Last night, I actually showed him how to take a shower. I told him, I won’t look. Hopefully it worked!”

And a thorough washing should include hair scrubbing. “My son washes his hair every day when he takes a shower. I buy bodywash that can be used for hair and body. This definitely makes it easier,” suggested Latricia at One Stop Mom.

On the other hand, some tweens like showering a bit too much. Jeannine M. explained, “Mine is in there for almost 30 mins. I have tried a timer to get her to cut back, but she showers through it.”

Agreed Stacie, The Divine Miss Mommy, “Sometimes I have to go in and turn off the water on my 9 year old. This is after several warnings and around 45 minutes of water.”

Convincing kids to shower when they don’t want to – or to cut back on showering when they love it – can be tough. A few suggestions for cutting back:

Help your tween create a 10-minute play list of favorite pop songs. When the songs end, she’ll know to get out of the shower.

If they’re environmentally conscious, remind them that they’re wasting 2.5 gallons of water for each minute they’re in the shower.

Set a schedule – for example, if she isn’t out of the shower and ready by a certain time, she has to make her own breakfast.

Dealing with Problem Hair

Getting kids to wash their hair on a regular basis to avoid the greasy look can be just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to handling hair problems. For girls, knots and tangles can be a painful issue, too.

“I have a great hair tip I just learned from my hairdresser,” shared Carolyn at This Talk Ain’t Cheap. “I know my girls like to use a ton of conditioner and hairspray. That builds up and causes lots of tangles in their hair. When they shower… rub a handful of baking soda into their hair… then use shampoo as normal… and the baking soda takes all the waxy build-up right off the hair. No more knots. It’s amazing.”

Said Deb at Mom of 3 Girls, “I just reviewed a product called the Knot Genie – it’s been amazing to use on my 8yo’s long hair. It doesn’t totally get rid of tangles/crying but it is so much easier to use and she doesn’t resist brushing her hair like she did before. I would totally recommend it!”

“We love John Frieda’s serum. (Any of them work.) My daughter had the same issue. If you put it on her hair wet and come it out. I promise it will stay out of knots. That was the first thing my daughter said. Mom…no knots!” added Tammy.

And as boys and girls enter puberty, facial, underarm and leg hair can also become a source of self-consciousness you need to address.

Shaving

While necessity often dictates when boys begin shaving, girls are more likely to begin feeling social pressure to shave their legs as they get older.

Deborah said she thinks it “totally depends on the boy. Some of my son’s friends began shaving at 13 and some still don’t (at 17)…and don’t need to. My son shaves just a few times a week. My younger son will undoubtedly begin sooner.”

Meanwhile, “with girls the decision of when to begin shaving is one that must be decided on the family level rather than following a general guideline,” said You ARE Loved. “However, please keep in mind that if she has hair and is self-conscious it is worth considering – regardless of her ‘tween age’ at the time. Girls can be quite cruel to one another in these years.”

“Self-esteem is such an issue,” agreed Deborah at VodkaMom. “This is why I felt that the shaving thing was a battle I wouldn’t be involved in. If it made them feel better about themselves, then great.”

It’s important to let your kids know that they can approach you with this issue when they are ready. Sneaking mom and dad’s sharp straight-edge razors can be dangerous – it’s often easier and safer to start your tweens with electric razors, which are less likely to cut them.

Convincing Tweens to Brush Their Teeth

Tooth-brushing is an activity that often gets a lot of complaints – and it can be like pulling teeth to get kids to do it in the morning AND the evening. Moms had a few suggestions for encouraging good brushing behavior.

“I got small dry-erase boards from the dollar store and have magnets that they stick by each item to ‘check’ it off every time. So far it’s really helping!” said Deb, Mom of 3 Girls.

We do the breath test. The kids have to breathe on me… which they never do because I just have to ask them and they run to the bathroom to brush,” added Carolyn at This Talk Ain’t Cheap.

Suggested Jeannine M., “I make her brush at the same time I do. We also set an alarm in her room to remind her.”

And Stacie at The Divine Miss Mommy has “a reward system. When they do chores and things like brush their teeth, etc, they get stars in return to put on a chart.”

Tackling Stink at School

After heavy activity at school during recess or gym class, tweens might need to freshen up.

“Especially for the kids who are on the later stages of tweendom – 11 and 12 – I think its a really good idea to give them the travel sizes [of personal hygiene products like deodorant] so they can put one in their school locker for emergencies, one in their sports bag, and one in their bathroom,” suggested Rosalind Wiseman.

Some teachers are also particularly understanding.

“Many I work with have a drawer of things like deodorant, sanitary pads for girls, etc. It’s these seemingly small things that make the difference between a tween feeling comfortable in school or not,” said Rosalind Wiseman.

Helping Girls through Puberty

These days, girls are reaching puberty at an earlier age, and you should be prepared to discuss these physical changes with her.

“I have talked to my girls about this. I have found it easier to be blunt about these topics. My kids like it that way because they are ok asking me almost anything,” said Latricia at One Stop Mom.

Others might not feel comfortable talking so openly.

“I think mothers can really worry and freak out a little about how young their daughters develop – especially if it’s younger than when they did. But if your child is starting to go through puberty (and BO is one of the first signs), then you have to go where she is,” said Rosalind Wiseman.

“My girls have definitely started developing much earlier than I did,” said Carolyn at This Talk Ain’t Cheap. And Mary at Everyday Baby Steps agreed, “My daughter carries pads with her at almost 11yo because some of her friends have gotten their periods. Adds another level to the hygiene issue.”

“One of my friends suggested girls wearing bike shorts (or something similar) to help them feel comfortable with a pad on” when they first get their period, said Tammy.

And indiana added, “The school nurse is an excellent resource. I tell my daughter (she has a male teacher) ask to go see the nurse. Say it’s personal. The teacher will get it!”

To help explain physical changes and hygiene issues to your daughter, you can seek out resources in your community.

“At my 10yo’s checkup last spring, our pediatrician gave her a copy of the Care & Keeping of You book from American Girl – it’s been a great resource for her (and me)!” said Deb at Mom of 3 Girls. Agreed Carolyn at This Talk Ain’t Cheap, “It talks about everything from brushing your teeth to using tampons.”

“We took a puberty workshop through Girl Scouts and it was VERY helpful. Presented in a way that the girls were not embarrassed – they had fun,” added Stacy.

And You ARE Loved said, “We are glad to be a resource. If anyone has menstrual questions — please ask freely. You can be in touch through our contact us link.” Here is the link: http://you-are-loved.org/contact-us/

Pat Yourself on the Back!

Participating in this chat, reading the summary, or seeking out resources of any kind to help your tween through the tough transition years demonstrates how much you care!

Said Carolyn at This Talk Ain’t Cheap, “This is so great that we are all having this conversation about helping our tweens through this time of their lives. Our kids are lucky to have us.”

Thank you!!!

Deb, Mom of 3 Girls
Carolyn, This Talk Ain’t Cheap
Mary, Everyday Baby Steps
Stacie, Divine Miss Mommy
Deborah, Vodkamom
Latricia, 1 Stop Mom

Don’t Fret the Sweat on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/#!/DontFretTheSweat

See the original Talk here: http://tmotherhood.wpengine.com/talk/show/id/62265

Tweens and Heading Back to School

September 20, 2011 by The Motherhood

Tween Academy, sponsored by Unilever and Don’t Fret the Sweat, is now in session! On September 20, 2011, moms flocked to the first class on TheMotherhood to share advice and anecdotes for starting the new school year with tweens.

That back-to-school transition can be tough for everyone in the family, but especially for tweens, who are also experiencing emotional and physical changes. That’s why it’s important for your tween to know that you will be there to help them through issues with schoolwork, friends and all the other sweat-inducing moments they might encounter.

Rosalind Wiseman, parenting expert and New York Times bestselling author of Queen Bees and Wannabes, led the class with help from six blogger co-hosts. (In addition to counseling real moms through Tween Academy, Rosalind has scheduled upcoming TV appearances with Anderson Cooper and Dr. Phil.)

Moms were thrilled to have a place to discuss the tricky tween years – a topic that hasn’t often been addressed elsewhere. “There is a lot of focus on the teens and toddlers, but tweens is a tough age that deserves more focus,” said Stephanie at And Twins Make 5.

To be part of an ongoing discussion, you can visit Don’t Fret the Sweat on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/#!/DontFretTheSweat

Starting the School Year

“I wanted to start out with what I think are the essentials for any mom with children who are a couple of weeks into the new school year,” Rosalind Wiseman said to kick off the conversation. Here is her advice:

1. 2 cans of foot/shoe odor spray. One for your front door and one for the back. If you’re like me, sometimes when you walk into your house you are assaulted by this really bad smell and it gets you into bad mood. Then you look down to see your children’s shoes. Having a can to spray at those shoes (and worse, socks) really makes me feel better.

2. By the second week of October, all moms should have scheduled a dinner or drinks with their friends as a mom only night out. Mine is scheduled for the 22nd but I have to be out of town working. Rest assured though, my friends will go out and have a good time on my behalf.

3. Pads of paper placed throughout the house so when your child tells you why they didn’t do their homework or why they didn’t deserve to get into trouble you can write down the details of their version of events. This is helpful when you can barely remember what your child said when you try to explain to your spouse or to the teacher later. Bottom line is we have to be informed and it’s too easy to forget what happens in a day.

Helping Tweens Handle Sweat-Inducing Moments

Be encouraging and excited. As your child gets into the swing of the school year, there will be opportunities to make new friends, join a sport or club, and/or start new classes. Talk to your tween about what they are looking forward to most this school year. If they seem a little shy or nervous, find ways to encourage them and help boost their confidence.

Help them juggle the day-to-day stress. Close to 70 percent of 8- to 12-year-olds admit homework is a stressful part of their day, while others have anxiety about classes (42 percent). Help your tween combat these sweat-inducing moments by creating a study space and helping them stay organized.

Dress your tween for success. Sprucing up with a new outfit, taking some extra time for grooming and practicing a nice smile can help your tweens feel more confident as they tackle the school year.

Encouraging Tweens to Self-Advocate in School

“I struggle with my daughter being afraid to use her ‘voice’ at school. She gets very shy and it’s such an opposite trait from her at home persona,” said Stephanie at And Twins Make 5.

Connie at Brain Foggles, whose daughter has similar difficulties speaking up for herself, offered a suggestion: “We are working with her teachers and a counselor. This isn’t a new problem for her. Perhaps bring it up to the guidance counselor?”

Remaining positive and encouraging self-esteem will pay dividends in the long run. To chat more about tweens and building self-esteem, come back for a Tween Academy class on that topic at noon ET on October 11: http://tmotherhood.wpengine.com/talk/show/id/62267

Making Friends

Having friends is a big part of social confidence, and for kids transitioning to a new school, finding friends can be difficult – especially for those who are shy or don’t enjoy sports. The group had a few ideas for non-athletic extracurriculars where kids might meet new friends.

Jennifer at Mom Spotted suggested “Boy Scouts, band, swim lessons,” and Liz at Thoughts of a Mommy came up with “The Y, community centers and church.”

Emily at TheMotherhood said, “Maybe a new sport that doesn’t have a competitive side, like rock climbing or fencing? Or are there Middle School clubs he might like? Our school has started a Friday afternoon movie screening to give the kids a chance to watch and talk about it afterward. So far, it seems like a big hit, especially with the shy ones.”

“Our library has a book club for fathers/sons and a chess club and some other activities that are good for kids and gets them out there, but not in a sports/competitive way,” added Brandie.

Aside from making friends, your tweens might also have to navigate the waters of being teased or bullied as an outsider.

Dealing with Mean Girls (and Boys)

Every school has bullies, and it’s tough when your kid is the one being picked on.

“We went through a mean girl phase in 3rd grade – it was just awful. Usually if the mean kids see that it doesn’t bother you, they will stop their teasing. They do it to get a rise out of you. Don’t let them,” suggested temysmom.

Added Connie, Brain Foggles, “And if it gets bad, get the school involved.”

Rosalind Wiseman encouraged moms to ask their child to articulate exactly what the problem is. “Kids needs skills to know how to handle mean kids … depending on the situation, you decide from there what you do. Tell the teacher, she talks to the girl, etc.”

“My daughter just started in a program called ‘Girls on the Run.’ It’s great. It teaches girls respect, teamwork, positive thinking and other good values, while building body confidence as they train to run a 5K,” said Becki. “I think it’s available to girls in 3rd grade and up. If there’s a chapter near you, maybe your daughter could get involved.”

Communication is essential – make sure your tweens know they can come to you with problems. “If it isn’t a social issue causing our kids to be depressed it is grades, looks … there are so many more things that kids have to deal with today,” said Connie at Brain Foggles.

“I think many kids don’t feel they can talk to their parents about school issues… or any issues for that matter. Communication with your tweens is SO important,” said temysmom.

We will be discussing Tweens and Communication in TheMotherhood on October 4 at noon ET as part of our Tween Academy classes: http://tmotherhood.wpengine.com/talk/show/id/62266

Rosalind Wiseman created this Anti-Bullying Pledge and an accompanying Facebook page that you can take a look at if you would like to learn more about stopping bullies.

Tweens Online

Bullying and social interaction don’t start and end at school anymore. With Facebook and text messaging, tweens have constant access to their friends and peers, and it is important to encourage them to be responsible and mindful about their communications.

“We are constantly discussing how once a text or FB post is ‘out there’ it is out there’ for good,” said LisaSp11 of conversations with her daughter. “It is a tough lesson to teach, but with constant monitoring and reminding, I think she has been doing a pretty good job of navigating so far.”

And mean girl issues can stretch from real life to the Internet. “My daughter is not on FB but has a twitter and I check her texts. I do try to keep her out of that mean girl, mean talk chatter! It’s tough when friends are trying to pull you in different directions,” said msrachee.

As Kayla S summed it up, “Someday tweens will learn that they bring the drama on sometimes and that they need to change their attitude. It stinks not being able to tell them what to do because you already know, but it’s part of life!”

In addition to learning how to relate to peers and deal with negative situations, both in reality and online, part of life is taking responsibility for their own actions, remembering the work they need to do, and so on.

Staying Organized

When it comes to staying organized, Rosalind Wiseman said, “This is such an important topic because they are right at the age where they need to take on more responsibility for their homework, what they need for the school day, their personal hygiene.”

Rosalind handles her tweens and organization with a few simple steps:

1. Clothes/Appearance: I am washing their clothes but they have to put it away. Yes, it’s a mess (shorts are where shirts are supposed to be) but they have to do it. I am also having them do their laundry with me too. They have to be in clean clothes.

2. If they forget something like the shoes they need for a game, they have a two-limit allowance where I will take these things to school. After that, I will not bring the forgotten item to school.

It’s a tough lesson, but it needs to be taught, others agreed. “In the long run, you have to occasionally refuse to save them. It’s a life lesson that is hard for me to give them but good for them long term,” said Stephanie at And Twins Make 5.

But you can help your kids ease into remembering things on their own. “We use a white board [for reminders]. Actually two – one in the bathroom and one in bedroom. So far, so good,” said Connie at Brain Foggles.

3. Deodorant. I don’t know about you all but my almost 11-year-old is seriously having BO issues. I am putting deodorant next to his toothbrush as a quiet reminder that he has to use it.

A number of parents lamented the fact that it’s so difficult to convince their tweens to take regular showers and wear deodorant. “It’s so tough to get my 13yo son to wear deodorant. I have to remind him often. And I feel for his teachers have to smell all those kids all day!” said Kelly Whalen.

For a more in-depth discussion on tweens and personal hygiene, join us for a Tween Academy class on September 28 at noon ET: http://tmotherhood.wpengine.com/talk/show/id/62265

Getting Homework Finished

Homework and time management plays a big part of being organized and taking responsibility in school.

All kids are different when it comes to homework. Some have no trouble buckling down and doing it, and some do everything they can to resist. How to convince the procrastinator to get the work finished?

“There has to be a consequence – [take away] something that matters to her” or him until the work is accomplished, said Jo-Lynne at Musings of a Housewife.

Agreed Theresa at Faith and Family Reviews, “A loss of privilege or extra work can nip this in the bud, especially if you can outlast them … they will eventually ‘get it’ because they don’t want extra work or to lose a privilege.”

And just getting to the end of the assignment isn’t enough – make sure your child has put some brain power into it.

“They rush through it so fast. We recheck and make them go back to things they missed,” said Mary Davis. “No TV, computer ‘til it’s done right.”

“There was a great link on Parent Hacks about a Back to School Contract,” said Cooper at TheMotherhood. “We actually did this and it WORKS!”

Working with Teachers

Teachers are not one-size-fits-all, and sometimes that can pose a problem for your child and your family.

“Last year my son didn’t like his teacher at all. Honestly, we didn’t either, but you just have to try your best to make it work,” said Jennifer at Mom Spotted.

If your child has problems with a teacher, take them seriously, but give the teacher a chance to give his or her side of the issue. “That is the hard part … knowing if the kid is just complaining or the teacher really is being too hard on them,” said temysmom.

“I’ve taught my children to respect their elders and that includes teachers. Now if there’s something terrible going on, they can come to me, but it has to be abuse for me to do something,” said Connie, Brain Foggles.

And when kids don’t like a teacher, Stephanie at And Twins Make 5 has a silver lining: “It’s real life and they need to come to terms with the fact they will quite possibly have future authority figures they don’t love either. (Bosses, coaches, etc.) Learning to deal with it early in life can be a great lesson.”

Remember, teachers that kids perceive as mean might not be the enemy.

“My son thought his science teacher was mean. When I met her, I realized she’s not. But she is strict, and focused on helping the kids learn (as opposed to just do well on standardized tests),” said Becki. “Guess whose class my son is doing best in?”

If your child is having an issue with a teacher, Rosalind Wiseman advised, “You need to meet with the teacher and say, ‘My child came home and told me X; in your opinion is that accurate?’ You can tell the intent of the teacher from how they respond to that question. If they are an abusive teacher they will get defensive and attack your kid, if they have made a mistake they may be a little defensive but they’ll focus their comments on the well being of your child.”

You Are Your Child’s Mom, Not Friend

Liz at Thoughts of a Mommy summed up the one of the most important things to remember when it comes to raising tweens – as much as you might want to be the “cool” parent, it’s more important to be your child’s parent than his or her friend. “My motto, and I’m sure that many of you here think the same way: I am my son’s mother, not friend. He has plenty of friends but only one mom,” she said. “I am here when friends are not. NO MATTER WHAT!”

Thank you!!!

Connie, Brain Foggles

Jennifer, Mom Spotted
Jo-Lynne, Musings of a Housewife
Liz, Thoughts of a Mommy

Stephanie, And Twins make 5!

Theresa, Faith and Family Reviews

Don’t Fret the Sweat on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/#!/DontFretTheSweat

See the original Talk here: http://tmotherhood.wpengine.com/talk/show/id/62264

Morning Routines and Breakfast in America

September 8, 2011 by The Motherhood

On September 8, 2011, moms hungry for breakfast and conversation came to TheMotherhood for the third chat in the Kellogg Virtual Breakfast Series. Led via live video feed by Sarah Woodside, MS, RD and Nutrition Business Partner at Kellogg, the discussion explored back-to-school tips for establishing morning routines in light of Kellogg’s Breakfast in America survey findings.

“Our greatest inspiration behind these breakfast chats is that at Kellogg, we believe that great days start with great breakfasts,” said Sarah Woodside.

“I just feel so much better in the mornings when I make myself eat breakfast. That is why I want the girls to eat every morning so they will have a good day at school,” said Jennifer, One Mom’s World.

Breakfast in a Back-to-School World

We’re all dealing with the challenge of getting our kids to eat a nutritious breakfast as they rush out the door to school. And we all know that breakfast is important, but mornings are so busy with getting everyone ready to go.

A number of bloggers shared the morning routines that work for them.

“Be prepared,” advised Lori at La Vida Lori. “Have foods on hand for breakfast that are quick and easy to prepare, make sure the kitchen is clean the night before so you don’t have to deal with it when you’re trying to get breakfast together, and make lunches the night before.”

And it’s not just the kids who sacrifice breakfast on busy mornings!

“My problem? I always make sure my kids are fed. I am the one left hungry!” said Molly, A Day in Mollywood. For a solution, Sarah at Water, Water Everywhere suggested, “I keep a Special K bar in my purse for just those kind of days.”

Noted Maria, A Savings WOW, “I used to run around so much in the mornings trying to get the kids ready that I didn’t have time to eat breakfast myself, but this school year, I made it a point to get the kids up a half-hour earlier and to make sure that I took my shower and got myself ready before waking them up so that I could actually eat breakfast with them.”

Finding Variety in Breakfast Food

In addition to finding time for breakfast, there’s the ongoing issue of what to prepare – foods that will offer variety, nutrition and convenience on a daily basis.

“Cereal and milk are convenient, ready-to-serve/ready-to-eat breakfast options that people of all ages enjoy,” said Sarah Woodside. “Other breakfast choices might include hard-boiled eggs with whole grain toast and a glass of milk; whole grain crackers with peanut butter and a yogurt; a wedge of cantaloupe with cottage cheese and slice of whole grain cinnamon raisin toast.”

“My 14-month old has his favorites, but he’s pretty open to new things,” said Julie, MamaMash. “We’ve done toast with egg/cottage cheese/hummus. Or a chunk of cheese and some fruit, then some graham crackers. He’s always excited for pancakes!”

In the household of Emily, West of the Loop, cereal is king. “My husband is a total cereal guy. Remember how Jerry Seinfeld always had a huge selection of cereals in his cupboard on the show? That’s my husband. We always have five or six varieties going. Favorites include Special K w/ Red Berries and Rice Krispies,” she said.

“I make mini quiches in a muffin tin – eggs, veggies, sausage, anything,” said Donutsmama. “I then freeze them and pop them in the microwave to thaw out. You can eat them all week.”

“Definitely more protein is important … [which is] why I love eggs,” said Sarah at Water, Water Everywhere.

Julie at A Year with Mom and Dad agreed, “I think it’s important to have protein too – and a balance of healthy fats and some carbs for energy! Eggs are great!”

Leigh at Hines-Sight Blog strikes a balance: “I love cereal because I know my children are getting great vitamins and minerals. I also like to give them cheese or egg with it for protein,” she said.

If you’re really strapped for time and need something to grab and go, “some of our travel friendly options are apples, toast with peanut or almond butter and string cheese,” said Lisa, Mommyality.

Breakfast in America Survey Findings

“Recently, Kellogg sponsored one of the largest surveys ever conducted on breakfast and found surprising statistics about breakfast consumption, especially among kids,” said Sarah Woodside. Among those findings:

– We see that 77 percent of young children eat breakfast every day, but the number falls to 50 percent in the middle-school years and to only 36 percent among high school students

– Results show 54 percent of all adults would like to eat breakfast every day, but in reality only one-third (34 percent) actually do

– Research shows us that although 89 percent of moms want their kids to eat breakfast every day, 40 percent report that their child does not eat breakfast daily

“Both kids and adults need to eat something in the morning to refuel from sleep and refresh their energy levels for a productive day ahead,” Sarah emphasized.

Julie at A Year with Mom and Dad agreed, “As a former middle school teacher, I can’t stress enough how much it affects a child’s behavior and learning when they are not starting the day with breakfast (and a good one!).”

Know Your Family

From morning meltdowns to being too tired to eat, you can navigate any obstacles in your morning routine and breakfast menu by planning ahead.

Kayla S suggested keeping a “menu of choices for breakfast in the morning posted on the fridge” and having the kids pick what they want for breakfast the night before so you can be ready to make it in the morning.

In some cases, an earlier wake-up time might be key.

“I find that my child likes about 15 minutes to 30 minutes of awake time before sitting down to breakfast. I think that is crucial in our schedule, otherwise, my son does not eat as well if he sits down immediately for breakfast,” noted Leigh at Hines-Sight Blog.

Thank you!

“Thanks to Sarah Woodside for these helpful tips on breakfast nutrition! I appreciate that Kellogg is making the effort to help parents get their kids off to a good start every day,” said Emily, West of the Loop. “I am glad to have learned about how older kids don’t always get breakfast so I can be more prepared as my kids get older.”

Thank you to Kellogg for sponsoring the virtual breakfast, and thank you all for participating in the Talk! Our fabulous co-hosts are:

Emily, West of the Loop
Julie, A Year With Mom and Dad
Lori, La Vida Lori
Maria, A Savings Wow
Sarah, Water Water Everywhere
Julie, MamaMash
Molly, A Day in Mollywood
Leigh, Hines-Sight Blog
Jen, One Mom’s World
Lisa, Mommyality

See the original Talk here: http://tmotherhood.wpengine.com/talk/show/id/62256

Great Taste + Nutrition = School Lunches for Healthy Kids

August 31, 2011 by The Motherhood

On August 31, 2011, moms came to TheMotherhood to discuss school lunch nutrition and the ongoing nationwide debate about flavored milk in schools. Andrea Carrothers, MS, RD and Nutrition Communications Manager at Dean Foods, which sponsored the Talk and produces TruMoo chocolate milk made with all-natural ingredients and less sugar, led the conversation.

“Back-to-school is the perfect time to focus on nutrition and getting kids started with a healthy routine and start some new habits for the new school year,” Andrea told the group to kick off the chat.

“I think many moms struggle with healthy lunch ideas,” said Stefany, To Be Thode.

And Amy, The Finer Things in Life, said she was “excited to hear more about TruMoo” as a better chocolate milk option. “They are definitely taking steps in the right direction, with no HFCS and no artificial growth hormones. Every baby step helps!”

To learn more about healthier school lunch options and TruMoo, keep reading for the highlights or click the “Talk” button to read the entire conversation!

Replacing “Other” Flavored Milk with TruMoo

“Some of you have probably heard a lot about this debate going on at the local-PTA level. Some parents and schools are questioning whether flavored milk should be available to children because of the sugar content,” Andrea said.

However, according to Andrea, the absence of flavored milk in schools can cause milk and dairy consumption among kids to drop by as much as 40 percent. That’s a lot of critical nutrients that kids don’t get.

To combat the nutrition deficit from removing flavored milks altogether, “we really wanted to come up with a winning formula – something that moms could feel good about and schools could feel good about,” Andrea added.

TruMoo is available in both skim (fat-free) for schools, which meets the proposed USDA school nutrition guidelines, and 1% in retail and grocery locations. In addition to great taste, both varieties have great nutrition, providing all the 9 essential nutrients of white milk with only 10 grams of added sugars per serving.

“With so many peanut-free schools now, having the protein from milk is a good thing for many moms,” agreed Stefany, To Be Thode. “I can totally see how taking milk out of schools can create a problem with the milk consumption. My son gets one glass a day simply from school lunch!”

Kendra, Me and My Insanity, had a natural follow-up question: “Is TruMoo working on being a supplier for school lunches? And replacing the chocolate milk alternatives? If we wanted to suggest it to our schools, is there a way to do that?”

Andrea explained that “school milk contracts are almost always bid out annually in the spring and summer. Because TruMoo is made with fresh white milk at regional dairies, Dean Foods needs to have a nearby processing plant in order for us to consider responding to a bid. If you know TruMoo is available in grocery stores where you live but it’s not being served in your school, it’s likely because our local dairy didn’t win the school bid (or flavored milk has been banned from that school). While the bids of course may vary by region and by dairy, the cost is comparable with other milks. If you’d like to see TruMoo in your school, we’d encourage you to contact your school’s food service director or nutrition director to ask about TruMoo specifically.”

Healthier School Lunch Options

Finding portable, tasty, healthy food to send to school for your child’s lunch can be a tall order. Most of the conversation centered on bag lunches, as the participants’ kids ate school lunches infrequently.

“Our son is such a picky eater that we pack his lunch most days, which always includes a grain, a protein source and fruit,” said Cat, 3 Kids and Us.

“My son doesn’t like school lunch for the most part, but he isn’t a big eater anyway … but he will always drink the chocolate milk,” reported Lisa, Life with Lisa.

And Shannon, The Mommy Files, agreed, “My boys LOVED the TruMoo Chocolate Milk we received. They would love to add these to their lunches!”

A number of women had ideas for ways to use whole wheat tortillas in lunches.

“I make peanut butter and jelly rolls with the wraps and my 7 yo loves them,” said Lisa, Life with Lisa.

“The whole grain tortilla wraps with melted cheese – my kids loooove!” said Ruth.

“Yes, cheese roll-ups and quesadillas are great ways to get those grains in,” agreed Stefany, To Be Thode.

“My kids love peanut butter honey tortilla roll-ups. We also sometimes stick a banana in there or some apple slices. Raisins are good, too.” Amy, The Finer Things in Life.

“Great ideas, everyone! I like to make pizzas on pita bread. Pretty sure it comes in a whole grain variety, too,” added Kendra, Me and My Insanity.

In addition, “All kids love pasta, so switch to whole grain. I also mix brown rice with white,” suggested Jennifer, Savor the Thyme.

Getting Kids to Eat Fruits and Veggies

Putting a whole piece of fruit in a kid’s lunchbox often means that fruit makes its way into a trash can. Andrea suggests pre-slicing them so they’re bite-sized and easier to eat. Providing dips like hummus, yogurt or almond butter can also encourage kids to try healthier food items.

Fruit smoothies are another tasty option “to boost both dairy and fruit consumption in one great beverage,” said Andrea. “Kids can really customize that.”

“I always add a bit of kale or other greens to their smoothies” to get some vegetables in the mix, said Amy, Cajun Joie de Vivre. They don’t affect the taste of the smoothie.

“Smoothies are a favorite at our house,” agreed Amy, The Finer Things in Life. “Make them with frozen fruit and you don’t need any ice.” And you can put them in a thermos to keep them cold until lunchtime.

Cooking with Chocolate Milk

Using chocolate milk to replace ice cream in milk shakes, for example, is a healthier dessert option for kids and adults alike.

“We use chocolate milk to make pudding, smoothies and milk shakes,” said Amy, Cajun Joie de Vivre.

“We do the chocolate milk/ banana/ peanut butter, but we do it thick like soft-serve ice cream. Yum!” replied Amy, The Finer Things in Life.

Andrea added, “Another fun thing you can do is to use a little in baking – for things like muffins and scones or in waffles.”

Drink Milk for Health and Hydration

“I know, it is surprising, but milk naturally contains as much potassium as a banana, plus small amounts of sodium. That plus the fluid content makes it a great way to rehydrate,” said Andrea.

In fact, milk contains more electrolytes than sports drinks!

A cup of TruMoo, like all chocolate milk, has a very small amount of caffeine (which occurs naturally from the cocoa) – typically less than 5 mg. For comparison – a can of cola has around 35-40 mg and a cup of coffee around 100 mg.

The TruMoo website features the TruMoo Switcheroo, where you can compare flavored milk to other beverages kids commonly consume, like fruit drinks, energy drinks and soda!

More Information about TruMoo

In response to a question from Lisa at Life with Lisa, Andrea reported that TruMoo does “have a strawberry flavor that’s available in most markets. It’s got the same great nutrition stats as the chocolate – 130 calories and 22 g sugar (10 g added) in the fat-free and 150 calories and 22 g sugar (10 g added) in the 1%. I should note too that it’s made with all natural colors – the pink color actually comes from beet juice powder!”

Added Amy, Cajun Joie de Vivre, “I also like that it is available in so many sizes: gallon, half, etc. I have four boys and my hubby and I both have a glass of chocolate milk before bed time. We need BIG sizes. I’m glad we have that option.”

Additionally, TruMoo contains “8 grams of protein – that’s more than is in an egg! – plus [it is] a good or excellent source of 8 other nutrients including 3 of the 4 ‘nutrients of concern’ that kids aren’t getting enough of – calcium, protein and vitamin D,” according to Andrea.

Where to Find TruMoo

“If you can’t find TruMoo in your area, chances are we may not have a dairy nearby. TruMoo is made with fresh white milk at your local dairy. Our corporate website has a map of all of our regional dairy brands… if you don’t recognize one of these brands from your area, chances are you won’t have TruMoo in stores,” said Jamaison, who works with Andrea at Dean Foods.

You can use the TruMoo store locator to help you find TruMoo in your area.

Thanks so much to Dean Foods and TruMoo for sponsoring the Talk, Andrea Carrothers for leading the conversation, and our wonderful blogger co-hosts!

Amy, The Finer Things in Life

Amy, Cajun Joie de Vivre

Lisa, Life with Lisa

Jennifer, Savor the Thyme

Shannon, The Mommy Files

Kendra, Me and My Insanity

Stefany, To Be Thode

Cat, 3 Kids and Us

See the original Talk here: http://tmotherhood.wpengine.com/talk/show/id/62248

Summer Paint Projects: Olympic ONE Has You Covered

August 10, 2011 by The Motherhood

On August 10, 2011, celebrity DIY guru Eric Stromer – HGTV host and father of three – joined a crowd of women on TheMotherhood to share some of his best tried-and-true DIY painting tips via live video feed.

Read on for his advice!

Eric Stromer’s Paint Prep Tips

“With any DIY project, prep work is key!” said Eric, adding that although it may take you a few extra minutes, it will ultimately save you time in the end.

Prior to starting a painting project, put blue or green painter’s tape around windows and doorframes, or where walls and ceilings meet. This will create nice clean lines, and the tape is designed to come off easily.

Eric also suggested moving furnishings and collectibles to the center of the room and covering them with plastic. This will protect your valuables from splashing or drips.

But before you even think about painting, Eric said to “find your own sense of design” – rather than decorating your house based on what’s trendy or what’s in the magazines, figure out what you love and go from there.

Added Deborah, “Paint is the easiest and most cost effective way to change a room. Choose colors that you love–not just because it *goes*, you know? Recently I’ve been lightening our home–from stuff and from darker colors. I love it and the artwork just shines.”

Eric Stromer’s Painting Tips

According to Eric, if you make a mistake like splattering paint on the windows or getting the wrong color on the wall, wait until it dries. Then you can easily scrape the paint off the window with a straight-edged razor blade or paint over the wall in the correct color.

“BUT be sure to clean up wet paint off your floors ASAP with water!” noted Kayla S.

Eric also recommends lightly sanding all glossy surfaces before painting to help the paint stick much better. And when he advised that painters should “hold your paintbrush like a pencil for more accuracy when cutting a line,” it resonated with a number of moms.

“I have learned something already!” said Jen, The Suburban Mom.

And another popular tip from Eric described the best way to clean paint brushes and rollers – using a wire brush to comb out the paint.

“Loving this so far! I never knew about the wire brush thing … cleaning is always the part that annoys me most,” said Jennifer, Jen Spends.

“Yes, seriously, I will be trying the wire brush for cleaning!” added Janel, A Mom’s Take.

Olympic ONE Paint

“Not only is prep work important, but I’m always stressing the importance of using quality products,” Eric noted. “However, quality doesn’t always mean products have to cost more.”

Olympic ONE Paint is formulated to give you a complete DIY solution with extreme hide and stain and scrub resistance and starts at $24 – a great value for budget-conscious consumers.

The scrub-resistance of Olympic ONE is “perfect for a playroom!!!” said Jen, The Suburban Mom, and Jennifer at Mom Spotted laughed, “This is a great feature for my kitchen!”

In addition, Olympic ONE is a paint and primer, all in one can, which can save both time and money. “I love the fact that ONE has primer in it…I have wasted so much time priming over the years,” said Jennifer, Jen Spends.

Olympic also has a great ColorClix tool (and it’s FREE!) to help you color match.

Enter to win $10,000 on Facebook!

Eric has partnered with Olympic Paint to launch the “Simply Done” Facebook promotion.

Now through August 26, consumers can visit www.olympic.com or “Simply Done” on Olympic Paint’s Facebook page to upload a photo of their paint project. Eric will choose a winner the week of September 5, and that lucky person will win $10,000.

Enter here: http://www.facebook.com/olympicpaintandstain?sk=app_233075190059768

Q&A

Deborah: What is your recommendation for covering RED walls–specifically what primer? I really don’t want to HAVE to spend all of September doing this.

“Red and orange are tough colors to paint over because they require so many coats to cover – primer is key,” said Eric.

Olympic ONE Paint is a great option, because it’s a paint and primer in one for just $24 per gallon, which will save time and money on the paint project.

Andrea, Lil’ Kid Things: We plan to paint our 1960’s hardwood cabinets rather than replace them. Is this something we can DIY without it looking tacky or should we hire out?

“Sanding and primer are your friends,” suggested Kelly, Kansas City Mamas.

Olympic Paint added, “You can definitely DIY!”

Jennifer, Mom Spotted: I heard their paints are fume free and safe for pregnant women- is that all of Olympic Paints or just a certain one?

Olympic Paint replied, “Our Olympic Premium is ZERO VOC including colorants… our new Olympic ONE paint & primer in one is low VOC! Both found exclusively at Lowes.”

Shannon, The Mommy Files: I’ve rented many places where the owners have painted the windows shut! How do you prevent something like that from happening?

“Well, you could ask them not to do that,” joked Eric, before suggesting that, when encountering windows that are painted shut, you can wrap a towel around your hand for safety and slide a broad knife or putty knife into the sealed crevices to unstick them.

“Great advice for unsealing windows using a broad knife/putty knife! So simple!” said Anjanette, Raising the Barrs.

Michelle, Burgh Baby: Any tips for covering textured paint or paint that is thicker in some spots than others? I once had to deal with trying to cover the texture from sponge painting (which, NIGHTMARE).

Eric suggested two approaches: sanding the walls until the paint is an even texture, or using a broad knife 6-8 inches wide to coat the walls in a thin layer of drywall to even out the wall surface.

Thanks to Olympic Paint for sponsoring this incredible Talk, Eric Stromer for hosting, and our talented and creative blogger co-hosts!

Andrea, Lil’ Kid Things

Anjanette, Raising the Barr

Janel, A Mom’s Take

Jennifer, Mom Spotted

Jen, The Suburban Mom

Jen, Jen Spends

Joey, Real Mom Media

Kelly, Kansas City Mamas

Michelle, Burgh Baby

Shannon, The Mommy-Files

See the original Talk here: http://tmotherhood.wpengine.com/talk/show/id/62241