The Social Good Summit Rocks Year Three

September 26, 2012 by The Motherhood

“My mom always told me to use my brain, but to make sure it’s linked to my heart.”

 - Angelique Kidjo, UNICEF Goodwill Ambassador, singer and songwriter

The third annual Social Good Summit concluded yesterday and it was chock full of brains and heart.

The Summit — organized by the United Nations Foundation, the 92nd Street Y, Mashable, Ericsson, the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation and UNDP — brought together an incredible mix of speakers who talked about the inventive ways they are using technology and social media to solve big problems.

Just to name a few of the extraordinary speakers … U.S. Ambassador to the UN Susan Rice, Dept of Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano, New York Times columnist Nicholas Kristof, Olympic Gold Medalist Allyson Felix, primatologist Jane Goodall, World Bank President Jim Yong Kim, author Deepak Chopra, musician Peter Gabriel, author Deepak Chopra, actors Forest Whitaker, America Ferrera, Maria Bello, Mira Sorvino and Alexis Bledel, and leaders or founders of Wikipedia, MeetUp, Grameen Bank, the Climate Reality Project, ForbesWomen, UNICEF, Mercy Corps, Time magazine, Glamour magazine and many more.

Distilling down the days of back-to-back presentations into a single post is impossible, and there will certainly more blog posts to come, but here are just a few of the things said that grabbed my heart:

“You serve best by doing the thing you love most.” –Maria Bello, Actress and ambassador for Haitian Women.

e05ce25e05a211e28a2e22000a1ea02d_7 — Maria Bello talking about empowering women globally. Photo credit: Isabel Kallman, Alpha Mom

“Never again should a country be called a basket case. Every country can develop, every country can end poverty, every country can boost prosperity, every country can create jobs for young people.” –Jim Yong Kim, President of The World Bank

“People don’t tune into cat videos to see a cat meowing at the screen and you shouldn’t be uploading videos of people sitting there staring at the screen … Let’s all take a cue from cat videos. Flood the Internet for social good.” –Jessica Mason, YouTube for Good

“You’ve got your time, you’ve got your dime, and you’ve got your voice. You’ve got to use all three.” –Maggie Fox, President and CEO, Climate Reality Project

“Philanthropy is about using the resources you have at your fingertips to improve the world.” –Melinda Gates, The Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation

“We have to open our eyes not just to what’s going on in other places; we need to open our eyes to what’s going on right in front of us.” –Forest Whitaker, actor and UNESCO goodwill ambassador

“We’re living in a moment where anyone can be a diplomat—all you have to do is hit send. Share your ideas, mobilize your friends, take action online and off.” –Secretary of State Hilary Clinton

“One thing the humanitarian world doesn’t do well is marketing. As a journalist, I get pitched everyday by companies that have new products. Meanwhile, you have issues like clean water, literacy for girls, female empowerment. People flinch at the idea of marketing these because marketing sounds like something only companies do.” –Nicholas Kristof, New York Times columnist

Giving Tuesday — Aaron Sherinian, Sharon Feder and Henry Timms announcing #GivingTuesday

“More is more. When it comes to conversations, more is more. It’s a favorite maxim of mine, and in this case it seemed to be coming from every corner of the Social Good Summit.” –Aaron Sherinian, Vice President of the UN Foundation

“The Internet is allowing for us to really experience people in some of the most distant places in the world — as other people just like us. So get to know people, seek out bloggers from a country you’re kind of curious about. It’s about building empathy, and breaking through to the point of recognizing people as people.” –Jimmy Wales, founder of Wikipedia.org

“I used Facebook during Libya’s uprising to urge women to get on board and play their role in the transition, and I did it again when the new government was forming, to encourage them to run for office.” –Susan Rice, US Ambassador to the UN

“The U.S. spends $700 billion on the military versus $30 billion on development. We have to focus our attention on cutting-edge technology that can help bring peace.”–Jeffrey Sachs, special adviser to the U.N. Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon

Kathy Calvin introducing surprise guest Peter Gabriel. Photo credit: UN Foundation

“You always hear the phrase ‘advocacy starts at home.’ In reality, with all the power we have to connect, it really means at home — where you’re sitting. It’s about doing what you can from where you are. We’re fortunate to have these tools to let you distill your message to make sure you’re getting out what you want to say and create a call to action.”  –Claire Diaz-Ortiz, lead social innovator at Twitter

“It’s about turning government into a platform for open innovation. Data by itself is useless. I can’t feed my baby daughter data, as much as I’d love to because I love data. It’s only useful if you apply it to create an actual public benefit.” –U.S. Chief Technology Officer Todd Park

A billion people in the world will never see a doctor in their lives.” Josh Nesbit, founder of Mobile Medic

“More is spent in a single month [in the U.S.] fighting the war on drugs than all monies ever expended domestically or internationally fighting slavery from its inception.”  –Mira Sorvino, actress and U.N. goodwill ambassador

“There wasn’t a time like this before where we had the tools and technology to help make the world a better place. It’s our time. It’s on us. I’m just trying to participate to connect in this journey we’re all on this spaceship called Earth.” –Forest Whitaker

“Social networks are the extensions of our minds. We’re seeing the evolution of human identity into a global identity. It’s inevitable—it’s the next phase of evolution of the human species.” –Deepak Chopra, Author and Founder of the Chopra Foundation

More to come, but I’ll close for now with this video by Beyoncé in honor of World Humanitarian Day:

Learning About Safe Household Products from Deepak Chopra

September 19, 2012 by The Motherhood

I attended a panel discussion today called, “It’s Time to Take the Toxins Out of Our Lives” with Deepak Chopra, Sara Snow, Jeanne Rizzo, CEO of the Breast Cancer Fund, and John Replogle, CEO of Seventh Generation, and sponsored by Seventh Generation.

At the event, Seventh Generation released the results of a survey saying that 2 of 3 Americans are concerned about toxins in their household products.

“Using products with petrochemicals causes inflammation in the body,” said Deepak Chopra. “This type of inflammation is what causes many types of cancer.” said Deepak.

Deepak went on to talk about how as a country we have invested heavily for decades in trying to find a cure for cancer but we haven’t taken action to get rid of petrochemicals in the products we use daily on our skin and in our homes – even when we know they are dangerous.

“More Americans are becoming aware of the ingredients in products they put on their skin,” said Seventh Generation CEO John Replogle. “We can’t be healthy humans on a sick planet. The level of concern voiced by the American public represents a mandate for immediate, sweeping systemic change.”

Seventh Gen is ahead of the curve here. The company’s products are all “bio-based”, meaning all ingredients are derived from plants, animal, marine or forestry materials. I think you’ll be hearing more about “bio-based” materials – which are different from organic materials, in that organic speaks only to how something is grown and certified organic products can still contain petrochemicals. Bio-based products do not.

As Deepak said, “We are not nouns on this planet; we are verbs. We are in action on the planet every day.”

Calling all Sh*tty Moms! Let’s celebrate!

September 9, 2012 by The Motherhood

Sh*tty Mom: The Parenting Guide for the Rest of Us is out (yay!) and we’re celebrating with the authors on Monday! Mark your calendars for a Twitter party with our brilliant, hilarious friends, Today Show producers Alicia Ybarbo and Mary Ann Zoellner, and their fabulously funny co-author Laurie Kilmartin. Join us at 1 pm, East Coast time / 10 a.m. on the West Coast.

Get ready to laugh. Sh*tty Moms is LOL, tears-streaming-down your-face funny. My girls kept saying, “What’s so hilarious, Mom?” and all I could do was laugh harder.

Why didn’t they write this book sooner?!

We cannot wait to laugh together on Monday. Among the Sh*tty Mom topics we’ll cover are:

– Organized Sports Might Be Great for the Kids, but They Suck for You

– How to Get Rid of a Mom Who Wants to Stay Over During the Entire Playdate

– How to Sleep in Until Nine a.m. Every Weekend

– Yes, the Babysitter is Judging You

– This Tradition Must Die: Handwritten Thank You Notes

Come ready to share your Sh*tty Mom stories and you could win one of TEN copies of Sh*tty Mom being given away! You can sign up for the Twitter Party here.

The fabulouso hosts for the party are:

Alicia Ybarbo – @AliciaYbarbo, @Todaysmoms, @Shttymom

Mary Ann Zoellner – @Todaysmoms, @Shttymom

Laurie Kilmartin – @Anylaurie16

Kimberly C. Blaine, The Go-To Mom @Thegotomom

Maureen Dennis, Wee Welcome @Weewelcome

Heather Gibbs Flett, Rookie Moms @Rookieheather @Rookiemoms @510families

Dina Freeman, Babycenter, The Pursuit Of Cute @Dinadingo

Isabel Kallman, Alpha Mom @AlphaMom

Renee Keats, Windy City Momma @Windycitymomma

Sara R. Fisher, Self-Made Mom @Selfmademom, @2momsmedia

Emily McKhann, The Motherhood @EmilyMckhann

Cooper Munroe, The Motherhood @CooperMunroe

Danielle Smith, Extraordinary Mommy @Daniellesmithtv

Tamara Walker, Mom Rn @Momrn

Get ready for TONS of fun on Monday! Can’t wait to see you there!

And be sure to tune into the Today Show the next day on Tuesday to see the Sh*tty Moms live!

Collecting Family Memories in the Digital Age

September 5, 2012 by The Motherhood

Our kids are probably the best-documented generation in the history of the world. Not because they’re spoiled or because we’re helicopter parents, but just…because we can.

One short generation ago, when we were kids, taking pictures involved a little forethought and patience. Pictures were for “occasions.” Our parents had to buy film and flashbulbs (remember those?) and carry around a camera that was a little on the bulky side. And when the last photo on the roll was snapped, that was it. Three days after you took them in, your pictures came back from the Fotomat. Your editing choices? Like it or lump it.

Left: Photo by Brandie Langer, Journey of 1000 Stitches. Right: Scrapbook page by Amy Mallory, Snap & Scrap.

Now, when taking a picture is as easy as whipping out a tiny digital camera or your phone, capturing family memories isn’t just for birthday parties and vacations. It’s all about documenting the wonderful, fleeting moments of everyday life, the ones that are so easily buried under, well, the rest of everyday life.

We talked today with Michele of Scraps of My Geek Life, along with Katie Pertiet of Designer Digitals, Stephanie of Bizzie Living, and Amy of Snap & Scrap. They shared their thoughts on capturing and preserving family memories in the digital age.

A Year In the Life

I’d heard of Project 365, but really didn’t know what it was about, or what was required to participate. It’s simply a project where you take a photograph every day for a year. It started as a way for photographers to hone their skills, but as Michele observed, it’s become much more. She says, “I see it as a way to capture my family’s daily lives…the mundane. The things you never think you are going to care about, but 10 years later are awesome. Like all the shoes in my back hall that drive me crazy….” Michele offers a link to this tutorial to help us get started. Although many people start their project on the first day of the year, starting on any day is just fine; Stephanie suggests that starting on a birthday can be fun.

Several of us expressed some regret at not having taken more pictures of our older kids while they were growing up. Project 365 provides motivation to snap photos on days that don’t necessarily cry out to be documented, and that can pay dividends later, as Amy notes: “My kids seem to be drawn to the everyday photos when looking through their albums.” Looking for inspiration? Michele recommends Googling “Project 365 shots” and checking out Photojojo, where she first discovered the project. View a sample of what Michele does with her photos here.

Okay, I’ve Taken My Pictures – Now What?

Taking pictures with film and having someone else develop them took a lot of the pressure off. On the one hand, if they came out badly, you couldn’t do anything about it. On the other hand, if they came out badly, you didn’t have to do anything about it. If you were feeling fancy, you put your pics in a self-stick album; if not, into a shoebox.

Now of course, there are all kinds of options for photo editing and getting creative with how you display your photographs. Several people confessed to being stymied by Photoshop. Michele concedes that Photoshop can be challenging to master and suggests, “Photoshop is much more complicated, but Photoshop Elements takes the features most of us would use often for our personal photos and makes it easy to do them. There is a 30 day free trial. It’s much easier.” PicMonkey is a free photo-editing site that Deborah called “super easy,” and which offers upgrades for a fee. Lightroom is a good option if you have large numbers of photos (Michele has over 75,000!).

Speaking of which…one of the joys of digital photography is that you can take all the photos you want. But then where do you store them?

Left: Photo by Stephanie Elie, Bizzie Living. Right: Photo by Katie Pertiet, Designer Digitals.

Katie says, “I have crashed iPhoto…and now that file is 400gig and I can’t get it backed up! Not good. I have gone to storing photos in a folder system on an external hard disk.” Others use external hard drives as well, and Michele also keeps her photos on Flickr. Her settings are such that only she and her family can see them, a privacy feature that’s likely important to you if you’re posting pictures of your kids.

If you want to share your photos, of course, the photo editing tools above can help you come up with hundreds of creative ways to do so. It may take a little patience to sit through the tutorials and master techniques, but it’s a lot better than handing someone a dusty shoebox full of snapshots with curling edges, isn’t it?

Succeeding as a Single Parent

August 29, 2012 by The Motherhood

Being a parent is hard. I don’t care who you are or how much money you have, or how smart you used to feel before you had kids. I’ve never met a mother who felt she had it completely under control, all the time.

Being a single parent has its own challenges, of course. No matter whether you become a single parent by choice or circumstance, in some ways, it makes a hard job even harder. No live-in backup when you need to take a break. Maybe no one to remind you, when you’ve lost all perspective and feel like you’re doing it all wrong, that you’re a wonderful person succeeding at one of the hardest jobs in the world.

But just as single parenthood has its hardships, it carries with it unexpected joys and blessings. Today in The Motherhood, we talked about managing the challenges and cultivating the rewards of single parenthood with talk host Issa Mas of Single Mama NYC and panelists Shannon of The Mommy-Files, Crystal of Kid Things, Linda of NYC Single Mom, and Teresa of TeresaOlvera.com.

There are Challenges…

The challenge most frequently cited by the moms we talked with today was simply, “never enough hands,” as Crystal put it. Teresa said, “The hardest part was when I was sick or working. I was the one that had to take the time off of work. I had to make sure (my daughter) made it to the dentist appointments. But when it came time for when I was sick, she had to learn to be there for me.” The upside, she noted, was that facing those challenges together made for a closer relationship over the years. Also difficult, Teresa pointed out, was missing her daughter on holidays when she was with her other parent.

One talk participant, who is a recent widow, spoke of going to her child’s back to school events: “It’s tough going alone, knowing there isn’t anyone there to laugh with or make fun of goofy speakers with.”

Issa Mas shared advice that is helpful with regard to both administrative and emotional challenges: “I am a believer in a little bit of planning and forethought going a long way. If you can sit down and identify what your challenges are or will be and try to address those needs before they arrive, it lessens stress considerably.” Sometimes just knowing what you’re facing helps you to be ready for it.

… and Rewards

Richard Bach wrote, “There is no such thing as a problem without a gift for you in its hands.” And whatever problems are inherent in being the sole grownup-in-charge, they come bearing gifts. One mom enjoys all the one-on-one time she gets with her child. Linda loves hearing her daughter acknowledge that she’s a good mommy. Shannon hears her sons using good manners (with one another, no less!) and thinks to herself, “I did that – I taught them to do that.” Those are no small things–they’re signposts along the path, reminding you that yes, you are headed the right way. For the road is long, is it not? One of Teresa’s rewarding moments was seeing her daughter on her first day of college. And she guided her child to that proud day.

One of the great rewards of single parenting can be, as Issa Mas puts it, “growing your village.” Sometimes partnered parents are a unit unto themselves, and if it works, that’s great. But when you’re parenting on your own, it becomes necessary to build a network of trusted friends and family for those inevitable times when you need help or encouragement. It might be as practical as a group of other moms to trade off child care with. It may be as life-changing as creating a chosen family: aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents who may not be related by blood, but by choice and love.

Don’t Forget About You

You’ve heard it before: parenting is like being on an airplane when the cabin pressure drops. The oxygen masks fall, and the temptation is to make sure your child’s mask is on, that they’re protected. But the reality is that if you don’t put your own mask on, you’ll be no good to anyone.

When you’re a single parent, self-care is your oxygen mask. It gives you what you need to be a better parent, and you should no more feel guilty about having it than you would about needing to take a deep breath of oxygen. Teaching the kids to pull their weight around the house is a form of self-care, as well as a means to build mastery in self-esteem in your kids. (As most of our panelists acknowledge, though, getting the kids to be helpful is something of a process. I guess some things are the same no matter how many parents are in the house.) Time to yourself, especially with friends who understand, is another important component of self-care. Being a mom is wonderful, but so is eating chocolate-covered doughnuts–and you wouldn’t want to do that 24/7 without a break, either.

It Gets Better, and Other Words of Wisdom

Single parenting can be overwhelming sometimes, especially if you’re new to it. Crystal says, “it does get easier. It may not be today or tomorrow, but it really does get easier. You’ll get into a routine and most day-to-day stuff won’t seem quite so difficult anymore.” Teresa reminds us, ” Try to do your best to have a decent relationship with the child’s father. Try to get along as much as you can.” Sometimes easier said than done, but always worth striving for. She also urges, “Try to be flexible with your child’s schedule and make time for you. Make sure you still live your life. Your child wants to see you independent so that they can learn from you.”

Good advice, from women who have been there, who are there, who are there for each other. Sounds like the village got a little bigger today.