The Little Book of Diet Help

May 8, 2012 by The Motherhood

Today in The Motherhood, author Kimberly Willis discussed the unique tips and tricks she outlines in her new book, The Little Book of Diet Help, with a fantastic group of bloggers, including Joey, Real Mom Media; Staci, November Sunflower; Shanna, Motherhood on the Rocks; and Steph, A Grande Life.

“My book is a portable diet coach. It can work with your lifestyle and help you to break the emotional chains which are attaching you to that excess weight,” Kimberly explained.

“I know that with the plan I’m on, it’s definitely a lifestyle change. I also like to call it a weight loss journey,” agreed Stephanie of A Grande Life.

Addressing Food Emotions

“I wondered if any of you have ever been on a diet and found that either you gained the weight straight back on – or that you just couldn’t seem to shift it in the first place?” asked Kimberly. “This happens to most of the people I work with. They know what they need to do – but there are emotional issues, habits and food rules that need to be dealt with.”

“I agree. Emotional. I lost 40 pounds. AHEM. Gained 60. And I wonder why?!?!?! I know why. I eat for comfort. BAD,” replied Joey, Real Mom Media.

The emotions and habits tied to food differ from person to person. In Kimberly’s own experience, “it was understanding the food/mood links. Realising that what I was eating changed the way I felt. For example loads of sugar would give me a buzz then cause my mood and energy to crash. Eating foods that support the feel good chemicals in your brain can really help – like turkey, almonds, bananas, etc.”

Beating the Cravings

Kimberly had a few suggestions for decreasing the intensity of food cravings: “If it’s an emotional craving – rub the area under your nose and above your top lip for a minute or two. This is a soothing acupressure point,” she suggested.

For sugar cravings, “you can try this tip – rub the cartilage at the front of your ear between your thumb and first finger for a minute or two. You will find your craving is much less,” Kimberly added.

Helping Yourself Eat Healthy

“Education and understanding how the food you eat affects you is key,” Kimberly said.

Shanna of Motherhood on the Rocks goes without. “I have to keep unhealthy foods out of my house. Out of sight, out of mind.”

“Learning more about what I’m putting into my body helps a lot,” added Staci of November Sunflower. “And not depriving myself of anything I really want. I eat clean, but I still enjoy some not so healthy stuff once in a while.”

Avoiding junk food deprivation is important, according to Kimberly Willis. She agreed with Staci, “It’s best never to ban foods. Forbidding a food just makes you think about it more and more – then you have some and feel like you are a failure. Allowing yourself a bit of the food you crave is good, then you can get on with your day!”

Boosting Energy to Avoid Lazy Eating

“You totally need to get rest at night. It’s when your body heals itself,” said Stephanie of A Grande Life.

And many in the group echoed the sentiment expressed by Tammy of Tammy’s Two Cents: “If I am tired or stressed I eat poorly.”

If you feel your energy flagging during the day, “for a quick energy boost, try standing up (if you are not too tired) and marching swinging opposite arms – then change and swing the same arms as legs,” advised Kimberly. “Do this for a couple of minutes and you will boost your energy.”

Staying on Track

Kimberly and the blogger co-hosts provided good general advice.

1) Believe in yourself. “Have you ever thought about your beliefs? Some key beliefs that can cause problems for weight loss are ‘I will always be big’ ‘Diets don’t work for me’ ‘I always gain the weight back,'” Kimberly pointed out.

2) Drink lots of water. “It really helps to fill you up and flush out the toxins,” said Shanna of Motherhood on the Rocks.

3) Mental tools. “I try to think of one thing every day that has or will bring positive change into my life (even if its something silly like new mascara that makes me feel pretty). I also rely on inspirational quotes a lot,” said mommabrown08.

4) The right food. “Lean meats, whole grains, lots of vegetables, low glycemic foods in general,” Becki advised.

5) An exercise that fits your lifestyle. “If I get outside for a walk or go to yoga, I crave healthy foods afterward. If I don’t, my cravings lean toward chocolate and other sweets,” noted Emily of The Motherhood.

My Mom and Dementia

May 7, 2012 by The Motherhood

At first, my brothers and I didn’t realize what was going on. Our Mom, a former restaurant reviewer and talented, adventuresome cook, no longer cared about cooking or what she ate. She complained about feeling low, saying she couldn’t find joy in life. She started falling, resulting in trips to the emergency room for stitches. Then, she side-swiped another car and didn’t realize she’d done it, and it started to sink in for us.

Mom has dementia, though seven or eight years in, we still don’t know what kind. Not Alzheimer’s. Maybe frontotemporal dementia, maybe not.

Yesterday, the New York Times front page was dominated by a story on frontotemporal dementia A Rare Form of Dementia Tests a Vow of ‘for Better, for Worse’ that is #1 on the most emailed list today.

Frontotemporal dementia, also called frontotemporal degeneration or Pick’s disease, refers to a group of diseases that destroy nerve centers in the frontal and temporal lobes — the home of decision-making, emotion, judgment, behavior and language. Some forms of the disease also cause movement disorders.

… Patients generally receive from one to four misdiagnoses, and it may take years to finally get the right answer. Mistaken diagnoses can include Alzheimer’s disease, stroke, midlife crisis or psychiatric illnesses like depression, bipolar disorder, post-traumatic stress or anxiety. Many relatives of patients say doctors dismiss their reports of personality change. But it is real.

Mom has a lot of the personality changes mentioned in the article, and differences too. Her balance issues are outside the norm for frontotemporal dementia, but difficulties forming word and reading and other symptoms are typical.

Thankfully, Mom is very sweet and loving and still knows who we all are. I count us lucky that she hasn’t become angry and combative as some people with dementia do.

No one wants to age this way, and we really don’t want to see our parents go through it.

I thought Mom would one day actually write the cookbook that we and her friends have been begging her to publish, and that she would teach my girls how to make some of her favorite dishes. I thought we would take my daughters on a girls’ trip to California to visit her oodles of family there and would get to travel to far off destinations together. I thought Mom would get to share her life stories with her grandchildren.

I thought I would have more time with her, the real her.

Mom is a shadow of the mom I remember, but I still have some of her. I can see how much she loves me when she smiles at me, and I think she knows how much I love her. She likes looking at photo albums and reminiscing together and hearing about what’s going on in the family, and I like catching her up on the latest and finding ways to tell her how great a Mom she’s been.

This weekend, I opened an old trunk among my mother’s things and found my grandfather’s desk diaries going back decades, to the 1930s. Grandpa wrote notes about his day-to-day life every day, including everything from courting my grandmother, to my Mom’s birth, all the war years, with newspaper clippings, Mom getting married and my brothers’ and my births. On my birthday, on July 27th, there’s a note in Grandpa’s beautiful handwriting with my full name and this: “Cable rec’d: Ian and Jimmy announce baby sister. Six pounds twelve ounces. Everyone fine.”

I cannot wait to show these to her this week.

______

For those of you are going through similar things with your mom or dad, a grandparent, aunt, uncle or friend, my heart goes out to you and I’m sending love, hugs and understanding.

Bloggers: Get Half Off SheCon Expo Tickets

May 3, 2012 by The Motherhood

Our friend Joey Fortman over at Real Mom Media emailed us last night to share a special discount code the ladies behind this month’s SheCon Expo would like to offer to everyone in The Motherhood’s blogger family.

If you are interested in learning more about the SheCon Expo, taking place May 24-27 in Lake Buena Visita, Fla., you can visit the website.

When you are buying your convention pass, enter the code themotherhood to get yourself 50 percent off!

Talking with the Star and Executive Producer of Nature Film “Otter 501”

May 2, 2012 by The Motherhood

When it comes to wildlife, otters have a corner on the cuteness market. They are also fascinating endangered animals with an uncertain fate, and one of them is the subject of a new nature film called Otter 501, in select cities May 11.

Today in The Motherhood, we were joined by Otter 501 star Katie Pofahl, and the film’s executive producer, Mark Shelley. They chatted with Holly, Tropic of Mom; Katie, OC Mom Activities; Aracely, Daytripping Mom; Anne, Upstate Ramblings; and Tammy, Tammy’s Two Cents about all things otters.

Read on for a Q&A, and check the Otter 501 Facebook page for a schedule of film screenings.

What is Otter 501 about?

It’s the story of Otter 501, who is abandoned as a pup, rescued and re-released into the wild as an adult. You see her story unfold through the eyes of Katie Pofahl, a zoologist and recent transplant to Monterey from the Midwest, who (in the film) finds Otter 501 on the beach. Katie provides Facebook updates to her friends and family back home about Otter 501, becomes a volunteer at the Monterey Bay Aquarium, learns “otter spotting” and shares insights about nature, otters and conservation throughout.

Katie Pofahl: “We wanted to change the way natural history storytelling is done – too often it is preach-y and didactic.”

Mark Shelley: “I am glad to see the positive references to the ‘storytellers’ of nature films on television. As the executive producer of Otter 501, one of the things I’m most proud of is introducing a new storyteller – a strong, smart, curious, science-loving young lady. We need those role models.”

Why otters? What inspired the making of the film? (Becki)

Katie Pofahl: “Obviously they are SUPER cute…and that’s an easy way to get folks interested in the ocean. But for us, as filmmakers, science geeks and conservationists, otters are the perfect subject because they are fascinating animals to study and watch. They have it all – complex behaviors, social structures, a critical role in their ecosystems, a torrid history of destruction and recovery…it was an easy match!”

Mark Shelley: “We were approached by a volunteer at The Monterey Bay Aquarium who not only fell in love with the otters on exhibit, but saw that visitors from all over and all ages responded in a special way to seeing the otters. He thought a film would reach people not only about otters, but the need for a clean and healthy ocean. We agreed.”

Who is Otter 501 (the otter whose plight the film follows)? How is she doing now? (Katie, OC Mom Activities)

Meet 501 on video here.

Katie Pofahl: “She was found June 2010 when she was only a few days old. So that makes her nearly 2! She was released April of 2011, after she’d spent a lot of time being nursed back to health, paired with a surrogate mom at the Monterey Bay Aquarium. 501 is still in Elkhorn Slough doing well!”

How long did it take to do the filming for the movie? (Anne, Upstate Ramblings)

Mark Shelley: “It took about a year to get the story right, all the permits and agreements in place, then we did the actually filming over about 10 months. We followed little 501 from the day she arrived at the Monterey Bay Aquarium to the day she was released, about 6 months later. And we spent hundreds of hours filming otters in the wild. Couldn’t have been more fun.”

Do you think the film will make its way into the classrooms? (Tammy, Tammy’s Two Cents)

Katie Pofahl: “The film will definitely be available for classroom education. We are cutting a 50 minute version that can be used for just that reason and we will also make it available along with an educator resources guide. That will go up on our website when we’ve got a chance to get it done.”

Will the film be released nationally?

Mark Shelley: “We are hoping that the cities we are opening in now will show that there is an enthusiastic audience for the film. If theater owners see that, we’ll be able to add new cities. Your interest and requests for screenings in your area mean a lot!”

For a list of where and when the film will be released (beginning May 11), check the events section of the Otter 501 Facebook page.

One of the things that struck me the most was learning that the California otter population had gotten down to only 50! And the current population of more than 2,500 has all grown from those original 50. (Katie, OC Mom Activities)

Katie Pofahl: “Otters are considered a federally threatened species. To get them off the endangered species list, the population would need to be over 3K. However, it’s been shown that the CA coast could hold 16K otters. So the question becomes ‘how many otters do we really need?’ I think that we really need to work to restore the sea otter population to a level that will allow them to play the role in their ecosystem they were evolved for. That’s the only way we can have healthy coastal ecosystems with restored structure (kelp forests!) and function (cleaning our air of CO2!) This might mean a far sight more than 3K otters.”

Mark Shelley: “From about the mid-1930’s to today the population has only grown from those 50 to about 2700 today. There are some biological reasons, but there are also some environmental and policy reasons – things we can do to ensure the population continues to grow and return to a healthy number.”

Mark, you mentioned there are some things we can do to ensure that the otter population continues to grow. Could you give us some examples? (Kayla)

Mark Shelley: “Regardless of where you live, all water eventually runs into the ocean. What we put into our watersheds impacts the health not only of the local watershed, but ultimately the ocean. And the otters are telling us that runoff from ag fields and the things we put down our drains and on our lawns is adversely impacting the coastal ocean. So, basically: we all can think about what ends up in our water.”

Last summer, we rented a boat and roamed around the Morro Bay Estuary and we saw dozens of sea otters. I could have watched them for hours. (Aracely, Daytripping Mom)

Mark Shelley: “You were lucky. The otters have only recently made it to Morro Bay– we’re hoping that they’ll make it further south soon. For now there is a restriction keeping otters from going further south. We hope that ban gets lifted by the end of the year.”

Get your fill of cute otter photos in this Facebook album and Pinterest page.

Winning the Chore War: How to Get Kids to Help Around the House

April 19, 2012 by The Motherhood

So, how are the chore wars going around your house? We do not have them over at my place. That is because a “war” involves engagement from both sides. At my house, one side mutters, “For the love of Pete, how can you get dirty clothes over every square inch of your room and STILL miss the hamper?” and the other side stares with confusion and mild concern, as if his mother were having some sort of nervous breakdown in Portuguese.

Today in The Motherhood, Dr. Deborah Gilboa of Ask Dr. G was joined by a panel of expert moms, including Mysti Reutlinger, Jessica Torres, Kimberly, Jennifer A. Hall, and Stefanie Mullen to discuss all things to do with our kids’ chores.

Why Bother?

First off, why do we even have our kids do chores? After all, much of the time, by the time we finish telling our kids what to do (the first time) we could have done it ourselves. Many of us agreed with Kimberly, who has her kids do chores to learn responsibility, and with Jessica, who also likes them to learn to help around the house. Mysti wants her kids to learn the value of contribution, and Cooper added that she wants her kids to feel like “part of a team.”

Most of the panelists have their kids do chores that help the whole family, like unloading the dishwasher, rather than just picking up after themselves. That supports the concept that we do chores because we’re part of a family, part of a team. When one of my kids complains (usually about picking up a sibling’s stuff), my response is, “Hey, I don’t wear your underwear, but I wash it.”

Dr. G offered another benefit of chore participation: “As kids get older they usually distance themselves from the family. This is a great way to show them how integral they are to the family unit, and keep them connected. Even if they don’t like it, everyone likes to be needed.”

When to Start?

How old does a child have to be to have chores? Not very, it turns out, as long as the chores they have are age-appropriate. For example, most of our panel started teaching their kids to pick up and put away toys as soon as they were able to walk (the kids, not the toys; if the toys could walk they could put themselves away). Dr. G offers free resources, including a chart showing appropriate chores by age. With toddlers, singing “Clean Up, Clean Up, Everybody Clean Up” can be an effective cue to start picking up. With teenagers, Deborah pointed out, it can be even more effective, because they will do anything to get their mom to stop singing. Hey, whatever works.

Deborah made another excellent point: “Asking a child to do a specific chore without actually teaching that chore, is a lesson in defeat. Some chores have to be taught many times. ” The panel echoed her sentiments, and Mysti said, “We try to introduce only one new chore per month that requires learning. That gives us ample time to reinforce how the process progresses.” Dr. G affirmed that while it would be faster to do a given chore ourselves, it’s “still important to teach each skill and then “let” them practice until they move out!” I agree–the hour I spent showing my son, step by step, how to clean a bathroom was some of the best time I’ve ever invested.

To Pay, or Not to Pay?

So, do you pay your kids for their chores? Or do you think allowance and chores should be kept separate? The panel and participants had varying opinions. Dr. G said, “I think tying allowance to chores gives the false idea that chores are optional – the child could always give up the (money) and opt out of helping.” Jennifer felt that kids should be rewarded for doing their chores; Jessica ties chores to a point system, with her daughter being allowed to choose a reward after she’d gotten a certain number of points. Mysti doesn’t give an allowance for chores, but uses a work-hard, play-hard model: “Once a month, we let the kids decide a fun outing as a reward for all their hard work.”

Kimberly offered, “We do give an allowance for chores. It’s not a lot though, as we do feel that there should be some responsibility at home.” Stefanie said, “We keep it separate in our house. You do chores because you live here and should contribute.” Other panelists were on board with that rationale, though most agreed that they would pay the child for doing a bigger task that wasn’t a part of their regular chores.

Dr. G noted, “We do have consequences for not helping, but don’t reward for helping. We praise and appreciate (and ask them to notice what we do for them).” And really, isn’t that something we all want?

Making it Easier

We all know words are powerful, and the word “chore” is powerfully unappealing: it just sounds like drudgery. Dr. G recommended taking a poll around the dinner table to rename the concept to make it easier to deal with. “Tidying,” for example, sounds a little more quick and brisk.

Many of us struggle with whining from kids who don’t want to do chores, or having to repeatedly remind kids to do them. Stefanie said that getting kids in the habit of doing their chores from a young age helps: “We started them young and now they just do it because it is what they do.” If you didn’t start early, though, don’t fret; it’s never too late to learn. Missing out on a fun activity or use of a game or toy can be a consequence for not getting a chore done. And Dr. G says that the imposition of an additional task to do can be an effective consequence for whining about chores.

In the end, as Stefanie said, “Doing chores around the house is more about teaching my kids to be responsible adults as they prepare to leave my house than forcing them to do work.” Raising good adults–that’s number one on every mom’s to-do list. Teaching our kids to do some of the other stuff frees us up to do it.