The Power of the Pony Tail – Encouraging Healthy, Active Girls

March 22, 2011 by The Motherhood

On Tuesday, March 22, moms with daughters interested in cheerleading – many of them former cheerleaders themselves – gathered in TheMotherhood in honor of National Cheerleading Safety Month to learn more about the benefits of the sport and important safety guidelines.

http://youtu.be/qYJXNZmY6No

Nicole Lauchaire, VP Corporate Marketing and Communications for Varsity Brands, and a former cheerleader herself, led us through the fascinating discussion via live feed video. She was joined for a Q&A session by Amy Bender, a seasoned sports announcer and host of ESPN’s National Cheerleading Championships.

Read on for a recap of the discussion!

When should girls start cheerleading?

“My daughter is 7 and has taken one semester of cheerleading. I don’t want to overwhelm or burn her out,” said co-host Sara, Momma Findings.

“Sara, you are smart to worry about burnout. It is great for athletes to participate in a variety of activities,” said Varsity’s Sheila N. “Cheerleaders can start at a local cheer gym as young as 4 or 5, then continue cheering throughout her teen years.”

“The program my daughter cheers through starts at age 4. I think she was almost 5 when she started. They do very simple things (and no stunts) with the littlest kids,” noted co-host Deb, Mom of 3 Girls.

“My daughter started last year at 7 years old and LOVED it, and she was past the ‘are we done yet’ whining stage of things,” added co-host Clarissa, The POSHpreneur.

And as a parent, you should “get involved in selecting the right cheer program for your child,” said Varsity’s Nicole Lauchaire. “Make sure the values of program are reflective of what you want to instill in your child.”

5 tips for parents with daughters who want to join their school team:

Parents should take an active role in selecting the right cheer program for their kids, and continue to stay involved. Questions that parents should ask as they’re getting started or if they haven’t already:
1. Is the coach certified through the American Association of Cheerleading Coaches and Administrators (AACCA) and has the school conducted the appropriate background checks?
2. Does the coach adhere to AACCA practice and performance guidelines?
3. Does the coach ensure that performance skills are taught in the proper sequence using skills progression training, with an emphasis on training all squad members in proper spotting methods?
4. Does the coach properly balance practice time between skills training and spirit leadership instruction?
5. Does the squad have an emergency plan in place?

Tryouts and training

“Cuteness has nothing to do with it!” said Varsity’s Sheila N. of trying out for a cheerleading squad. “Most tryouts are not a single day – there are a few days scheduled for coaches to go over expectations, and ensure potential cheerleaders know what they need. Usually, it’s a mix of jumping skills, dancing skills and possibly stunting skills. Cheerleaders can always train at an All Star gym if they need special help on certain skills.”

“Cheerleading was just starting to get more athletic when I was in high school. Now, a good place to start is gymnastics so you are ready for the rigors of a good squad,” suggested co-host Sarah, Genesis Moments.

Varsity advocates teaching skill progression – starting with basic moves and mastering them to build a good foundation before moving on to advanced techniques – to reduce the risk of injury.

“Skill progression is SO important, and that really needs to be regulated by not only the camp teachers but the coaches and the squad captains!” added co-host Clarissa, The POSHpreneur.

“One injury is too many” when it comes to the safety of the sport, said Nicole Lauchaire. She noted that, “as with anything athletic, there is the risk of injury. Varsity is working to promote safety and reduce injuries.”

“I love that she said one injury is too many! If you are a mom, you completely agree!” said co-host Felicia, Go Graham Go.

Takeaways about cheer safety:
As part of National Cheerleading Safety Month, Varsity wanted to address the issue of safety. Every injury is one too many. Safety is the biggest priority for Varsity cheerleaders and coaches.

Varsity is doing a lot to promote cheer safety and injury prevention, but we all need to do even more to keep cheerleaders safe as it evolves.

You can find safety tips on http://www.AACCA.org or http://www.Varsity.com

Safety tips for cheerleaders to follow:
Know the rules for your school, college or all-star division/level
Ensure your squad has an emergency action plan and has practiced it
Only perform stunts, tumbling and routines on appropriate surfaces
Warm up before stretching, jumping, tumbling, stunting and dancing
Only attempt new skills in the presence of a skilled instructor
Take the iCheerSafe pledge, which asks cheerleaders to commit to their responsibility to cheerleading safety.

Girls of all sizes

According to Nicole Lauchaire, there’s a stereotype in cheerleading that you need to be under five feet tall and under 100 pounds to be on the squad. She says that couldn’t be further from the truth – girls of all shapes and sizes can work together to achieve a singular goal.

“What’s unique about cheerleading is it allows for all different size girls to participate, and to have a great squad you need the different body types,” she added. “There’s something unique and special about how different body types are really required in cheerleading.”

For example, tall girls can be spotters, larger girls can be part of the base, and petite girls can be flyers.

“It’s so good to hear that girls of all shapes and sizes can participate and not only that, are necessary for a squad to have!” said co-host Deb, Mom of 3 Girls.

5 specific benefits of cheerleading:
Cheerleaders are more likely than the general teen (57% vs. 46%) to hold a leadership position in or out of school.
81% of cheerleaders have grade point averages of 3.5 or higher
They value being ‘ahead of the curve’ even more than the average teen and a whopping 84% say that people look to them as leaders.
Cheerleaders are more comfortable speaking in public than the average teen (64% vs. 54%)
When concerned about an issue, cheerleaders are more likely than the average teen girl to volunteer (56% vs. 46%) and join an organization within their school (43% vs. 24%)

“Our experience last year with our middle daughter through our AYSA sports in our small town was really positive…so much so that her older sister wants to join this year!” said co-host Alyson, 3 Ps in a Pod.

And co-host Meghan, JaMonkey, added, “I agree about the confidence. I probably wouldn’t be as forward as I am now if it weren’t for Cheerleading and Theater.”

Takeaways from Varsity’s Teen Survey:
Varsity surveyed 1,016 teen girls ages 13-18 to represent the roughly 14 million teen girls across the United States. Here are a few of the findings.
Participating in athletics helps teen girls make new friends (86%) and gives them a built-in support system (65%). For example, compared to the average teen girl, cheerleaders are more likely to hold leadership positions.

“I can think of no better activity for confidence building than cheerleading. If a girl can help lead a crowd of her peers, there’s little she feels she can’t do,” said Varsity’s Sheila N.

For additional findings from the Teen Girl survey, and to access the Teen Girls: Influence, Involvement and Empowerment white paper, you can visit www.varsity.com/teenresearch.

Benefits of being active for teen girls:
Teen girls derive physical, interpersonal and emotional benefits from their participation in school-sponsored sport/spirit teams.
In addition to improved fitness, joining a sport/spirit team helps teen girls make friends and gives them a support system.
Girls are not just making friends – they are utilizing activities to grow their coping skills and improve their temperament and self-perception.
A huge majority of female teen athletes say that playing some type of sport/spirit team generally makes them happier (78%), builds their overall confidence (73%) and helps to relieve stress (69%).

“As a school counselor, we see a direct connection with being involved in athletics and the drop-out rate,” noted co-host Felicia, Go Graham Go. “They are less likely to drop out and generally are more involved in school in general.”

Uniforms

Some of the moms expressed concerns of the risqué nature of some cheerleading outfits.

“The issue of uniforms at the school level should really be black and white – no bare midriffs and skirts of a specific length,” said Varsity’s Sheila N. “Parents who are concerned should have their administrators check with the National Federation of State High School Associations (nfhs.org) to make sure their teams are in compliance.”

Those rules exist for cheerleading, but “I was a dance competition coach and we had to struggle with the girls who wanted ‘sexy’ outfits,” said co-host Britt Reints, Miss Britt. “Coaching staff said no way.”

Co-host Clarissa, The POSHpreneur, coached a cheerleading squad. She noted that “modesty CAN be mixed with fashion if you work at it. And for the parents that are concerned with the uniforms, I always invite them to do a private fitting with their child so that their child isn’t getting remarks from the other girls regarding {ughh your MOM is sooo old skool} and the teen can be under less pressure and just get the uniform ordered to their liking … comfortably.”

To find uniforms through Varsity, visit http://shop.varsity.com/uniforms.html

“Each Varsity uniform is customized for your school and your squad’s tastes,” said Bethany H. “You will meet face to face with your Varsity rep and they will help you through the uniform or camp-wear process.”

Cheerleading scholarships

“Since most college cheerleading teams are not officially classified as a sport, cheerleading scholarships vary from school to school,” said Varsity’s Sheila N. “There are roughly 300 colleges and universities that offer some form of scholarship, from books or meal plans all the way to full scholarships. A great source for the details is the Annual Scholarship Guide of American Cheerleader magazine. Look for Resources on Americancheerleader.com.”

Question & Answer Session

What are some of the things that Varsity is doing to encourage cheer safety?
Varsity implemented a Safety Awareness class for all of its more than 300,000 cheerleading camp attendees.
Varsity provided initial funding for AACCA, which has implemented safety rules and standards, training for coaches and cheerleaders alike.
In 2009, AACCA and Varsity announced stricter safety standards for all competitions.
Varsity worked with National Collegiate Athletic Association (NCAA) to require that all cheerleading coaches at the college level be safety certified.
Earlier this year, with the help of Varsity, the USA Cheer Safety Council was created and launched to raise the awareness of cheerleading safety and education, address misconceptions about injuries, and provide data to ensure proper training of athletes.

Tell us a little bit more about the USA Cheer Safety Council
The USA Cheer Safety Council is made up of representatives from all segments and disciplines of cheer, including spirit industry leaders, administrators, coaches, athletes and parents biomechanics experts, and the medical community.
Varsity and the USA Cheer Safety Council are partnering with the American Sports Medicine Institute (ASMI) to conduct a research study with a goal to proactively help reduce the risks of injury in cheerleading by researching the biomechanics for common overuse injuries.
Cheerleaders, coaches and parents can visit www.usacheer.net to learn more about the USA Cheer Safety Council and its safety initiatives as well as to take the “I Cheer Safe” pledge.

Our co-host Felicia wants to know if it is true cheerleading has more reported injuries than football?

This is one of the misconceptions about cheerleading that currently exists. Using the correct participation figure, the risk of catastrophic injury in cheerleading is actually eighth amongst high school sports.

A big thank-you to Varsity’s Nicole Lauchaire and Amy Bender!

And thank you to these fabulous Talk co-hosts and online leaders!

Felicia, Go Graham Go

Stacie, The Divine Miss Mommy

Meghan, JaMonkey

Alyson, 3 Ps in a Pod

Clarissa, The Posh Parent

Sara, Momma Findings

Sarah, Genesis Moments

Britt, Miss Britt

Deb, Mom of 3 Girls

See the original Talk here: http://tmotherhood.wpengine.com/talk/show/id/62177

Cooking with BusyDad and Mr. Lady

March 16, 2011 by The Motherhood

On March 16, 2011, BusyDad and Mr. Lady (aka Jim and Shannon) broke new ground here in themotherhood.com by hosting a live cooking show from their kitchens in Texas and California.

http://youtu.be/NIs9MwTzego

With cameras on them as they cooked their favorite recipes, Jim and Shannon demonstrated ‘East-West’ versions of ribs, side dishes and favorite desserts. Joining them in themotherhood.com was an exceptional and enthusiastic group of blogger co-hosts:

Eddie Carroll; Life, One Pixel at a Time

Lotus Carroll, Sarcastic Mom

Julie Dance, Angry Julie Monday

Dan Deguia, Deguia.net

Ashley Evans, Schadenfreudette

Robin Sue Joss, Big Red Kitchen
Mishelle Lane, Secret Agent Mama

Diane Lang, Momo Fali
Tanis Miller, Attack of the Redneck Mommy

PJ Mullen, Real Men Drive Minivans

Gregory Ng, Freezer Burns
Melanie Sheridan; Mel, a Dramatic Mommy

Jim and Shannon’s class concluded the Cooking Connections series, sponsored by ConAgra Foods.

Now We’re Cooking

Jim kicked off with words of support for those who aren’t quite comfortable in the kitchen. “We want to show you that even if you don’t have all the skills you think you need in the kitchen,” he said, “there are ways to make you LOOK like you know what you’re doing!”

Shannon and Jim prepared variations of beef short ribs in their separate kitchens. Jim offered up an Asian version of the short ribs (with soy sauce and ginger), along with side dishes and dessert, and Shannon cooked an Irish version (with Guinness), also with sides and dessert.

The Crockpot is Your Friend

“The crockpot is a great tool for the busy parent,” said Jim. “It’s hard to mess up something in the crockpot, you can set it and leave it, and it’s good at tenderizing tougher meats, which are usually cheaper.”

As Shannon moved around her kitchen gathering ingredients, she pointed out, “Baking is an exact science. With cooking, nothing is an exact science.” For unsure chefs, that means it’s okay to improvise – for example, using water in place of beef broth in the crockpot, as Shannon did – without worrying about ruining the meal.

Shannon asked everyone to notice that she was literally dumping the components of her recipes into the crockpot – not defrosting or stirring or any other involved steps.

“Hey, ‘Non-Cookers!’” said co-host Lotus Carroll, Sarcastic Mom. “It doesn’t get any easier than ‘dump it all in.’”

In a matter of minutes, Shannon had completed her crockpot meal. After putting in the last ingredient, she instructed, “Turn it on low and walk away from it – it’s already cooking. You can do that while you’re making lunch for your kid in the morning.”

Jim added, you can “set it up, turn it on and leave the house.” In other words, the crockpot does all the work for you and makes cooking that much easier.

Even if you forget an ingredient, “when you’re cooking in the crockpot, you can just throw it in later,” said Shannon. It won’t affect the flavor – but you might need to add some cooking time.

If you have frozen meat, you can use it as is. Shannon doesn’t bother to thaw meat before putting it in the crockpot – using it frozen will keep the juice in the meat, and therefore, the flavor and tenderness. It just requires an extra hour or two of cooking time.

“I do use frozen meat too,” said Robin Sue Joss, Big Red Kitchen. “Will buy it fresh, add a marinade, place in ziptop bags, freeze, pull out another day and throw in crockpot.”

According to co-host Daniel De Guia, DeGuia.net, “Another good crockpot tip is if you happen to overcook a chunk of meat (in my case, a recipe had a typo in the time & my beef roast was a brick), throw it in a crock pot on low with a can of broth for about 5 hours and you’ll end up with shred-able meat for tacos or something.”

Clean-up is easy too. Co-host Gregory Ng, Freezer Burns, uses crockpot liners. “You can find them in the Ziploc and foil aisle. They are called ‘Slow Cooker liners,’” he said. “Plastic bags that are strong enough to not melt and to hold all contents without bursting. Pull the bag when you’re finished and throw it away. (About $4 for box of 3).”

Short Ribs in the Crockpot

Cheaper cuts of meat are better in the crockpot, according to Jim. Cheaper cuts of meat are usually tougher, and the long process of slow-cooking in the crockpot tenderizes the meat better than any other method.

The group had a few tips of their own for crockpot cooking with short ribs.

“No lie – when I do short ribs or anything in the crock pot – I add Mountain Dew” to create a sweet, sticky glaze, said participant Curtis Silver.

Co-host Mishelle Lane, Secret Agent Mama, said her mom adds Pepsi, and co-host Gregory Ng uses maple syrup for the same effect.

Soda products can be used in all sorts of cooking. “I do a brisket that is rubbed with cocoa powder and chili powder in Coca-Cola,” said co-host PJ Mullen, Real Men Drive Minivans. “Comes out great.”

Help a Non-Cook Out

Even without the aid of a crockpot, there are ways to get your non-cooking spouse or other family member into the kitchen.

Jim suggested helping your family’s non-cook by chopping and measuring for them ahead of time, then leaving step-by-step instructions – “put A into B and cook for X number of minutes.”

And Shannon pointed out that even fancy and complicated-sounding recipe components aren’t always difficult to create. For example, to paraphrase Shannon, “reduction sauce sounds complicated, but it’s not. Just boil the juices from the meat a whole lot until it turns thicker!”

“Reduction sauces are liquid gold,” commented co-host PJ Mullen, Real Men Drive Minivans.

Side Dishes – Not as Tough as You Think

In addition to the short ribs, Shannon and Jim prepared their own versions of potatoes and green beans.

“Green beans can definitely be easy! We love to steam them,” said co-host Lotus Carroll. “All I have to do is throw them in the steamer and turn the knob. When they’re done I come back and put them in a plastic container with light butter spread, garlic, salt, pepper, close the lid and shake. Perfectly coated delicious, and importantly: EASY.”

“This may sound blasphemous coming from me, but DO NOT buy frozen green beans,” said freezer master and co-host Gregory Ng, Freezer Burns. “Some frozen veggies are good and help as components to a home cooked meal for quick prep. Beans are not one of them. I only recommend frozen peas, corn, onions, peppers, and edamame.”

Added co-host Tanis Miller, Redneck Mommy, “I tried frozen beans once. It was like eating rubber bullets. Never again.”

Jim used a wok to stir-fry his veggies, and he offered advice for inexperienced wok cookers.

1) The secret to wok cooking: a really hot wok so food gets seared instead of soggy. It should be hot enough to be smoking.

2) Don’t “wok” away from the wok. The key to stir-fry is stirring. It requires even heat and a coating of oil on everything in the pan.

3) Use oil with a higher smoke point, like Wesson canola oil.

“I like peanut oil,” said co-host Eddie Carroll; Life, One Pixel at a Time. “It has a really high smoke point, but you lose flavor that you can get out of sesame oil.”

“Avocado oil is really yummy too,” added co-host Ashley Evans, Schadenfreudette.

“And don’t scrub/clean the wok 100% afterwards (according to my dad),” said co-host Daniel De Guia. “Keep the wok oiled and ‘used/seasoned.’”

Shannon’s Tips For Good Mashed Potatoes

As Shannon prepared her mashed potatoes, the co-hosts raved about how delicious they looked.

“Ohhhhh, mashed taters with butter and cheese,” said co-host Lotus Carroll. “SO GOOD. I also love making mashed sweet potatoes and blend in melted butter, cinnamon, and HONEYYYY.”

“Shannon introduced me to Gruyere in mashed potatoes. It is divine,” said co-host Ashley Evans.

Shannon said one question she always gets is how to keep the potatoes from getting lumpy, and pointed out that most people boil and mash hot potatoes and then add cold cheese, milk and sour cream to the mix. “Of course you’re going to have lumps” that way, she said.

Instead, she heats the cold ingredients first, then adds her boiled potatoes and mashes everything together. She uses milk, butter and sour cream, but there are other options – “I use whipping cream in my mashed potatoes,” noted co-host Diane Lang, MomoFali.

And peeling the potatoes ahead of time doesn’t have to be an arduous process. Shannon told a quick story about how “potato peels save lives” and showed us that her potatoes are always imperfectly peeled, leaving some of the peel on.

Jim’s Ancient Secret To Perfectly Cooked Rice

Watch this (very funny) video to get the ancient secret.

On a more serious note, “I can show you how to make perfect rice… http://www.amazon.com/Zojirushi-NS-ZCC10-Cooker-Warmer-Premium/dp/B00007J5U7. Just saying. LOVE IT,” said co-host Eddie Carroll.

Dessert Without The Hassle

Jim cooked the easiest sort of dessert – the one that requires no cooking. Just put some berries in a martini glass, add a dollop of whipped cream and a sprig of mint, and you have a beautiful dessert with virtually no effort involved.

He demonstrated how to make your own whipped cream (just whisk heavy cream until it thickens, and add flavored liqueur if you choose), but he also loves Reddi-wip whipped cream from the can.

“I make parfaits all the time with nuts and whipped cream/yogurt, and berries. Best dessert EVAR!!!! Oh, and sometimes chocolate!!” said co-host Mishelle Lane.

And if your dessert requires measuring honey, Shannon had a great tip: use PAM cooking spray in the measuring cup so the honey doesn’t stick. It makes cleaning much easier.

After the broadcast, co-host Julie Dance, Angry Julie Monday, said “Thank you to everyone for this deliciousness tonight!!! … I’m starving now…I blame Jim and Shannon.” If you feel the same way, here are some recipes you can try on your own!

Recipes

Root beer pulled pork: http://crockpot365.blogspot.com/2011/03/slow-cooker-rootbeer-pulled-pork-recipe.html (From co-host Melanie Sheridan; Mel, A Dramatic Mommy)

“Did you know that if you put root beer and chocolate ice cream in a blender, you make a Tootsie Roll milkshake? IT’S TRUE,” said Shannon.

Here’s my go to crock pot recipe: http://www.peachesenrisotto.com/coconut-and-mango-braised-country-ribs/ (From co-host PJ Mullen, Real Men Drive Minivans)

Sausage Cacciatore: http://www.bigredkitchen.com/2008/12/italian-sausage-cacciatore.html (From co-host Robin Sue Joss, Big Red Kitchen)

Robin Sue’s favorite crockpot recipes: http://www.bigredkitchen.com/2009/03/favorite-slow-cooker-meals.html

Beef brisket with beer: http://bit.ly/g7Cmkl (From co-host Lotus Carroll, Sarcastic Mom)

“I do lazy meatballs in a crockpot,” said co-host Ashley Evans. “Frozen meatballs, jellied cranberry, jar chili sauce, tbsp lemon juice, brown sugar. Simmer in crockpot and take all the credit.”

“Frozen meatballs and a bottle of barbecue sauce works too,” said co-host Gregory Ng.

Tanis Miller cooks a whole chicken in the crockpot for “about five to six hours. And I throw carrots and potatoes, etc, right in too. Turns out perfect every time!”

And for additional inspiration, “you CANNOT go wrong with this crock pot cookbook” according to co-host Daniel De Guia: http://www.amazon.com/Fix–Forget–Cookbook-Cooker-Recipes/dp/156148685X/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1300323462&sr=8-2

A big thanks to our wonderful co-hosts and amazing hosts, who cooked up plenty of hilarity and great suggestions:

Jim Lin, The Busy Dad Blog

Shannon, Whiskey in My Sippy Cup

And the biggest thanks of all to the fabulous ConAgra Foods, which made the entire Cooking Connections series of classes possible!!! THANK YOU!

See the original Talk here: http://tmotherhood.wpengine.com/talk/show/id/62137

Sweet Treats

March 9, 2011 by The Motherhood

Women came to TheMotherhood on March 9, 2011, to chat about a very popular and tasty topic: Sweet Treats!

The class was sponsored by ConAgra Foods and led by food blogger favorites Julie Mastbrook (Mommie Cooks) and Kristen Doyle (Dine and Dish).

http://youtu.be/8e5X4DaOHW4

Keep reading for mouth-watering recipes for desserts on any occasion!

Desserts: Everyday occurrence or special occasion?

“We have dessert maybe once a week,” said co-host Monet Moutrie, Anecdotes and Apple Cores. “I don’t want to be feeding the family sugary treats all the time, but it is great to have something special during the week.”

On the other hand, participant Brandie and her family “have dessert almost every single night! But sometimes it’s fruit, applesauce, etc … not always cookies or cake.”

Kid-friendly dessert recipes

The hosts, along with many of the co-hosts and participants in the class, provided dessert recipes that are easy and fun for kids to help in creating.

Hosts Kristen Doyle, Dine and Dish, and Julie Mastbrook, Mommie Cooks, shared a recipe for Apple Popcorn Brittle from the ConAgra website: http://www.conagrafoods.com/recipes-Apple-Popcorn-Brittle-3474.html

For nutella crepes, kids “can help spread the nutella and sprinkle powdered sugar,” said co-host Cheryl Sousan, Tidy Mom: http://tidymom.net/2010/nutella-crepes/

“My kids had a ball helping to cut out these doughnuts!” reported host Kristen. http://dineanddish.net/2011/02/selfish-mama-recipe-homemade-yeast-doughnuts/

For making chocolate cupcakes without dirtying every dish in the kitchen, try this recipe from co-host Kaitlin Flannery, Whisk Kid: http://whisk-kid.blogspot.com/2010/02/peel.html “It needs just one bowl!” she said.

Co-host Kim Kopp, Quit Eating Out, suggested peanut butter cup cookies: http://quiteatingout.blogspot.com/2010/12/saturday-swap-peanut-butter-cup-cookies.html “They can roll the cookies and put the candy in the center,” she said.

“Something like these truffles is good because they can roll the mixture into balls … not a lot to mess up, and kids enjoy it because it’s fun and uncomplicated,” said co-host Kristan Roland, Confessions of a Cookbook Queen: http://www.confessionsofacookbookqueen.com/2011/03/thin-mint-truffles.html – “Also…no raw eggs or anything so I don’t have to worry about my son licking his fingers or eating any of it!!!”

“Animal crackers are the new favorite in our house,” said host Julie, providing a link to the recipe: http://www.mommiecooks.com/2011/03/04/homemade-animal-crackers/

“My son is an expert cookie-roller, so any time we make Mexican Wedding Cookies, I give him the job of rolling the dough into the little balls, which is perfect since it’s one of the tasks I’m not as fond of,” said co-host Cate O’Malley, Sweetnicks: http://sweetnicks.com/weblog/2008/05/just-desserts-mexican-wedding-cakes/

“We love S’mores cupcakes,” reported Robyn Stone, Add a Pinch: http://addapinch.com/cooking/2011/03/08/smores-cupcakes/

And “my li’l one loves these no bake s’mores,” added participant Prerna Singh: http://www.indiansimmer.com/2010/12/christmas-with-no-bake-frozen-smores.html

Co-host Monet said her “favorite dessert to make with kids are these amazing sour cream cut out cookies. They are HEAVENLY.”
http://anecdotesandapples.weebly.com/1/post/2010/11/sour-cream-cut-out-cookies1.html

“This is ALWAYS a huge hit,” said participant Dionne Baldwin of her monkey bread recipe. Her daughter has “been making this since she was 5.” http://tryanythingonce.wordpress.com/2011/03/08/theres-a-kid-in-my-kitchen-and-monkey-bread-too/

To round out the list, co-host Kaitlin offered up “a lot of great kid in the kitchen ideas in the newest issue of Sweet Paul.” http://athome.kimvallee.com/2011/03/sweet-paul-magazine-spring-2011-edition/

Desserts on the go

Whether you’re making treats for the classroom in honor of your child’s birthday, bringing desserts to a party or just need a treat to grab and go while running errands with your kids, here are some options for portable sweets.

“Cake pops, cookie pops, anything on a stick is generally loved!” said participant Karyn.

Agreed host Julie, “This year I made a big cookies for Alex’s class party as they don’t really appreciate cupcakes because of the crumbs.”

“I also like to bake a batch of cookies, make a bowl of frosting and let the kiddos spread a thick layer of frosting between two cookies…cookie sandwiches! Yummy and fun!” said co-host Monet. “Here is the recipe that I used for this particular batch, but you can try all different varieties.”
http://anecdotesandapples.weebly.com/1/post/2011/02/apple-buttercream-cookies.html

“Chocolate pumpkin muffins are a big hit here,” added co-host Cheryl. http://tidymom.net/2009/flavor-of-the-month-pumpkin/

But for co-host Cate, “cupcakes are usually my go-to treat of choice, because with those cupcake carriers, it’s super simple to carry in. One of our favorites are these Malted Ball Cupcakes.” http://sweetnicks.com/weblog/2009/04/malted-milk-ball-cupcakes/

Co-host Kaitlin had a great suggestion for a cupcake carrier: http://www.amazon.com/Cupcake-Courier-36-Cupcake-Plastic-Container/dp/B000XPOPXA

And Kristen remembered “in 3rd grade, a classmate’s mom brought in cupcakes in an ice cream cone. Those made quite an impression!”

On the other hand, “we can only bring store bought desserts for my son’s class, and now they want them to be ‘healthy’ – any good ideas for that?” asked participant Mandy.

Co-host Robyn Stone, Add a Pinch, said she had a similar experience, and “the moms set up a smoothie station and helped the kids make their own versions. They had a blast!”

Desserts “lightened up”

When you feel like something sweet without the calories (and the guilt), there are plenty of places to turn.

For desserts calling for whipped cream, Cooper Munroe, TheMotherhood, noted that fat-free Reddi-wip is a great option.

A number of participants also raved about the way mashed frozen bananas taste like ice cream, and participant Kayla S. said she loves adding Peter Pan peanut butter to the mix for protein.

“When the weather gets a bit warmer, I’m all over sorbet,” added host Julie. “Sweet and delicious with none of the guilt!” She provided this recipe for blackberry and blueberry sorbet: http://www.mommiecooks.com/2010/06/09/blackberry-blueberry-sorbet/

And “popsicles, homemade and store-bought, are a hit all year long” in participant Anti-Supermom’s house.

For baked goods recipes, “I try to remove some of the guilt by using greek yogurt in any recipe calling for sour cream or heavy cream,” said co-host Dennis Littley, More Than a Mountfull.

“Another great tip to lighten up recipes, is to prepare you muffin tins and cake pans with PAM instead of butter,” noted co-host Robyn.

“I love using raw sugar and agave nectar, too, to move away from white sugar,” added co-host Jennifer McGlinn.

Some participants suggested using applesauce as a healthy replacement for part of the butter or oil in a recipe, but Monet had a more unique tip: “One of my favorite ways to lighten desserts is to sub avocado for butter!”

Kaitlin at Whisk Kid agreed, “I love avocado!” and provided a recipe for cupcakes that use avocado: http://whisk-kid.blogspot.com/2010/05/green.html

“I haven’t experimented much with substituting with sweets so we just have smaller portions,” said participant Dionne Baldwin. “Or even a chocolate cupcake with applesauce and no frosting, now THAT I have done. The kids love it. They say it tastes like there is frosting inside!”

“My husband and son LOVE this” lighter recipe for chocolate cheesecake squares, according to co-host Bridget Edwards, Bake at 350: http://bakeat350.blogspot.com/2011/01/lightish-chocolate-cheesecake-squares.html

“And these low fat apple cakes taste like mini apple donuts. So good!” added co-host Monet: http://anecdotesandapples.weebly.com/1/post/2010/02/low-fat-apple-cakes.html

“Lately, I’ve been making yogurt parfaits with apples and pears that I’ve sauteed a bit with cinnamon and maple syrup,” suggested co-host Cate. “Layer it with vanilla yogurt and granola and it’s a healthy, guilt-free dessert!”

“Here’s one of my fave light and healthy recipes: Mini Chocolate Chip cookies (1 WW PointsPlus per cookie),” said co-host Kim: http://quiteatingout.blogspot.com/2011/03/ww-mini-chocolate-chip-cookies.html

Indulgent desserts

But sometimes, when a light dessert just won’t satisfy your sweet tooth, it’s necessary to break out the “indulgent” dessert recipes.

“This Deep Dark Chocolate Cake is about as perfect as it can be,” said host Kristen. http://dineanddish.net/2009/10/dealing-with-postpartum-depression-recipe-deep-dark-chocolate-cake/

Co-host Cheryl shared this recipe for Gooey Upside Down German Chocolate Cake: http://tidymom.net/2010/gooey-upside-down-german-chocolate-cake/

“Ice cream is my biggest weakness,” admitted co-host Kaitlin. “I really love this Coffee Crunch recipe.” http://whisk-kid.blogspot.com/2010/06/add.html

She added, “but I like this raspberry one when I’m in the mood for something ‘lighter.’” http://whisk-kid.blogspot.com/2010/08/make-raspberry-ice-cream.html

“This caramel apple cake does it for me every time,” said host Julie. http://www.mommiecooks.com/2011/02/11/family-friendly-fridays-caramel-apple-cake/

“And red velvet cake!!!” said co-host Robyn. http://addapinch.com/cooking/2010/11/07/red-velvet-cake/

“Cheesecake cupcakes are a nice treat,” noted co-host Dennis. http://www.morethanamountfull.com/2011/03/mini-lemon-cheesecakes-and-ask-chef.html

But, he added, “for a truly decadent easy dessert that screams americana, you can’t beat bread pudding.” http://www.morethanamountfull.com/search/label/Bread%20Pudding

Desserts to wow the crowd

When you have guests coming, but not a lot of time, you can still knock their socks off with these simple desserts that look like they took hours to create.

“Trifles… any kind of trifle! So pretty and beyond easy!” said host Kristen. “One of my faves – Strawberry Cheesecake Trifle.” http://dineanddish.squarespace.com/dine-and-dish-blog/2007/4/9/a-dessert-worth-destroying.html

“Definitely my Layered Walnut Pumpkin Pie,” said co-host Cheryl. http://tidymom.net/2009/love-the-pie-party-giveaways/

“This dessert takes you to the tropics!” added co-host Robyn of her caramelized bananas with coconut rum cream. “So EASY!” http://addapinch.com/cooking/2010/08/26/easy-banana-dessert-recipe-caramelized-bananas-with-coconut-rum-cream/

“I don’t know if this looks like I’ve been slaving away in the kitchen, but it’s EASY and decadent!” said co-host Bridget of her no-baking-no-mixing ice cream sandwich layered dessert. http://bakeat350.blogspot.com/2009/08/no-baking-no-mixing-no.html

Co-host Kim offered up a recipe for “super easy pound cake.” http://quiteatingout.blogspot.com/2010/08/chocolate-chip-pound-cake-ii.html

And if you have a little extra time, for a truly crowd-wowing dessert, try creating a six-layer rainbow cake like co-hosts Cate O’Malley, Sweetnicks, and Kaitlin Flannery, Whisk Kid. http://whisk-kid.blogspot.com/2009/08/say-it-with-cake.html

How to make a cheesecake

Making cheesecake can be a delicate operation, since cheesecakes are prone to cracking. Co-host Julie Mastbrook, Mommie Cooks, provided her top three tips for a foolproof cheesecake.

Tip 1: Letting your cream cheese reach room temperature before making the cheesecake will help avoid air bubbles in your cheesecake and ensure even mixing.

Tip 2: Place a pan filled with water on the oven shelf below your cheesecake. Adding water to the oven will help prevent your cheesecake from cracking. You can also place your cheesecake in a water bath if you prefer.

Tip 3: DON’T open the oven while the cheesecake is cooking or cooling. As tempting as it may be, opening the door will cause a quick change in temperature, which can cause your cheesecake to crack.

Helpful links

Rolling out cookie dough for shaped cookies (from co-host Cheryl): http://www.universityofcookie.com/2010/06/rolling-cookie-dough-video-tutorial.html

Decorating with royal icing (from co-host Kristan): http://www.confessionsofacookbookqueen.com/2010/12/cookies-with-royal-icing.html

Making your own sprinkles (from co-host Kaitlin): http://bravetart.com/recipes/RainbowSprinkles

Cookie decorating (from co-host Bridget, who advises watching the video demonstrations): http://www.universityofcookie.com/

Cake decorating (from co-host Cheryl): http://tidymom.net/2011/how-to-decorate-birthday-cake-with-butter-cream/

Thanks to our wonderful hosts…

Julie Mastbrook, Mommie Cooks

Kristen Doyle, Dine and Dish

Our talented and amazing co-hosts…

Cheryl Sousan, Tidy Mom

Kristan Roland, Confessions of a Cookbook Queen

Bridget Edwards, Bake at 350

Faith Gorsky, An Edible Mosaic

Monet Moutrie, Anecdotes and Apple Cores

Dennis Littley, More than a Mountfull

Kim Kopp, Quit Eating Out

Naomi Robinson, Bakers Royale

Robyn Stone, Add a Pinch

Rebecca Spivack, Let It Marinate

Kaitlin Flannery, Whisk Kid

Cate O’Malley, Sweetnicks

Jennifer McGlinn

And, of course, a BIG thank you to ConAgra Foods for partnering with TheMotherhood and all of our amazing bloggers to bring us Cooking Connections!

See the original Talk here: http://tmotherhood.wpengine.com/talk/show/id/62136

International Women’s Day and How Cancer Touches Our Lives as Women

March 8, 2011 by The Motherhood

On International Women’s Day – March 8, 2011 – women flocked to TheMotherhood to discuss one of the most important and least recognized issues affecting women’s health globally: cancer.

As one of the Talk hosts, Rennie Sloan, Director of Global Health Communications for the American Cancer Society, noted: “Funds for global health are not balanced. Even though cancer, heart disease and diabetes account for more than 60% of global deaths, they receive less than 3% of funding. Our U.S. Govt. and the UN leaders need to hear that cancer should be a global priority.”

Representatives from the American Cancer Society were on hand during the Talk to lead the discussion and provide their insights, while women shared their own stories and offered words of encouragement and support.

Cancer touches all of us

Cancer kills more than 3 million women globally each year. And even if cancer isn’t “in your face” every single day, it is still part of your life.

As co-host Joanne Bamberger said, “When I was first invited to join in, I thought, ‘Well cancer isn’t really a part of my life.’ But, of course, it is — I had a cervical cancer scare in law school, family histories of breast, uterine, colon cancer, and my best friend lost her battle with breast cancer two years ago. So important to remember that even when it’s not staring us in the face on any given day, it is still there.”

You don’t have to go through it alone

“I am a single mom to a tween boy and was diagnosed with cancer last year,” said participant Ma21cuteboy. “It is something that I find comfort in talking about and hope that in talking about it more women will be aware that they can also get cancer – to get tested, watch for signs and don’t be afraid to ask questions!”

Added participant Laurie, “Cancer touched my life 2 1/2 years ago when I was diagnosed with Ovarian Cancer. I am doing great now. I belong to a great support group of Ovarian Cancer survivors, LTIO, Let’s Talk It Ovar, and these women are strong, supportive and truly my mentors and kindred spirits. We celebrate our lives each and every day. To all who are suffering either as a survivor or a loved one of a survivor or one who has passed, talk about it, support each other, form a group. It is so very healing. God bless you all.”

Kristen Sullivan, Director of Medical and Scientific Communication for the American Cancer Society, noted that for others looking for support groups, “the American Cancer Society offers an online community of support called the Cancer Survivors Network.” You can check it out at www.cancer.org/csn

A number of participants also mentioned Susan Niebur, an inspirational mother of two young boys who is battling cancer and blogs about the process at Toddler Planet, http://toddlerplanet.wordpress.com/, and Mothers with Cancer, http://motherswithcancer.wordpress.com/

Practice prevention, screening and detection

There are ways that you can strive to prevent cancer in your own life, and when that isn’t possible, to screen for cancer and detect it in its early stages when it’s more treatable.

Ann McMikel, Strategic Director of Planning and Operations for the American Cancer Society, said, “A third of cancer can be treated through healthy diet, exercise and avoiding tobacco. Prevention is key to advancing the global fight against this disease that is taking our mothers, daughters and loved ones away. ”

Co-host Julie Pippert suggested “CHOOSE YOU!” and provided a link to the site, http://www.chooseyou.com/

The Choose You commitments Julie listed:
Eat right
Get active
Health checks
Protect my skin
Don’t smoke

“There are some cancers that we can actually stop before they even start, such as colon cancer and cervical cancer, by getting recommended screenings,” said Jesica D’Avanza, Director of Strategic Communications Planning for the American Cancer Society. “For many other cancers, all of the healthy behaviors that Julie Pippert mentioned can help you reduce your cancer risk. As others have already mentioned on this chat, nearly half of all cancer deaths could be prevented completely by doing these things that we know work. That is a pretty powerful statistic.”

The American Cancer Society provides a lot of information and detail on when we should all get certain cancer screenings based on age, gender and other factors: http://www.cancer.org/Healthy/FindCancerEarly/CancerScreeningGuidelines/index

And if you feel like something is wrong, “I would definitely go with your gut,” said participant Elebelly&mommy. “So many doctors will just dismiss it and move on to the next patient. I was expecting to have my doctor send me for a mammogram after I mentioned family history but I guess she didn’t feel it necessary … We have to be our own advocates and be persistent.”

Don’t dismiss alternative treatments

When faced with cancer, remember that chemo, radiation and traditional medicine don’t need to be your only treatments if you want to try other things. Our conversation revealed that alternative medicine had dramatic results in certain cases.

“My dad was given 6 weeks and he got 10 years due to VERY radical lifestyle changes, working a lot with eastern medicine and not once believing that it wouldn’t work,” said participant Holland.

Ariella@Sanborn agreed, “I think the mind/body connection is even more powerful than we think. I have had a number of my mother’s friends who have been diagnosed–given VERY short timelines–and then with radical lifestyle changes, have added literally YEARS to their lives, and in one case, a remission.”

Don’t stop talking about the loved ones you lose

When a loved one loses the battle with cancer, don’t let that person slip away from your day-to-day life.

“I remember a dear friend saying to me after my mother-in-law passed away that an especially hard part about losing someone you love is that people stop talking about them,” said Emily McKhann, TheMotherhood. “With that in mind, we make a point of talking about Goldie to our girls, for ourselves and for them so they grow up feeling like they know something of her.”

“I think this is so important,” agreed participant Erin L. “After my friend died in high school, I made it a point to write her mother every year on her birthday, anniversary of her death and Christmas to ensure she knew that her daughter was remembered.”

Julie Pippert pointed out that many people avoid talking about loved ones they have lost for the same reason she used to, “because it choked me every time.” She added, “I heard recently about how grief shifts from sorrow at loss to feeling blessed to have known and had someone amazing in your life. I think I am shifting.”

Learn about cancer in other countries

Not every country is as enlightened as the United States is now when it comes to cancer, particularly female cancers like breast cancer and ovarian cancer.

“The pink ribbon and breast cancer awareness is a global phenomenon,” said host Ann McMikel. “These efforts are helping to raise awareness [for cancer]; however, much more needs to be done in the developing world so that women have access to the early detection and treatment that is saving lives here in the U.S.”

Participants noted that they were “pinked out” by the prevalence of the pink breast cancer awareness ribbon, but co-host Morra pointed out that we need to be grateful: “Imagine that 40 years ago, women could not say publicly they had breast cancer.”

Joanne Bamberger agreed. “Women just a few generations back couldn’t even talk about what they often called ‘women problems.’”

This is still the case in many developing countries, unfortunately, where cancer is viewed as a stigma.

“One cervical cancer survivor we know in South Africa was alienated by her family, and her husband left her when she said she had cancer,” said host Rennie Sloan.

Why?

According to Rennie, “It’s simply because in many countries, they are where the U.S. was many decades ago in terms of understanding that cancer is a major issue. There aren’t many well-known survivors speaking out … In many cases, other governments don’t know it’s a problem, their health care systems are not equipped, and doctors are more tuned in to infectious diseases.”

Continue to help

The primary thing you can do to help the global fight against cancer is RAISE AWARENESS.

In the words of Rennie Sloan, ACS:

“Globally, the cancer burden is rising dramatically. Tobacco companies are spending BILLIONS targeting women in other countries, which will cause chronic disease to rise drastically.

“In China, 65% of male physicians smoke, and many women are exposed to deadly secondhand smoke. Getting our government to include cancer – which is currently omitted entirely in its Global Health Agenda – will make a huge difference in funding and to pave the way for the UN to include cancer in its global agenda.

“Many foundations and private companies make monetary donations based on these two things – the U.S. government’s global health priorities and the UN Millennium Goals. Tragically, these two important agendas omit cancer, one of the world’s leading killers, according to the World Health Organization.

“HIV/AIDS received a TREMENDOUS boost in resources and awareness campaigns after a major UN Meeting on AIDS. There is a similar UN Meeting this fall on noncommunicable diseases. This will START the process of getting more awareness. But our government and UN leaders need to understand the depth of the issue.

“Cancer is a leading cause of death in the world, yet it’s not on UN and global health agendas. In fact, it gets less than 3% of the global funding.”

Tweet your support for global cancer awareness and funds. Some tweets you can

Tweet: “Tell #UNWOMEN to put #cancer on its agenda”

Tweet: “Tell the #USgovt to put #cancer on its #globalhealth agenda. Cancer kills more than 3 million women globally each year.

Thank you to the amazing hosts of today’s meaningful Talk, from the American Cancer Society:

Ann M. McMikel, Strategic Director, Planning and Operations

Jesica D’Avanza, Director, Strategic Communications Planning

Rennie Sloan, Director, Global Health Communications

Kristen Sullivan, Director, Medical and Scientific Communication

And the wonderful co-hosts:

Morra Aarons-Mele, Women Online
Joanne Bamberger, Pundit Mom
Sarah Braesch, Sarah and the Goon Squad
Leanne Chase, Career Life Connection
Jennifer James, The Mom Salon
Catherine Morgan, catherine-morgan
Julie Pippert, Using My Words
Renee Ross, Cutie Booty Cakes

Chrysula Winegar, Work.Life.Balance

See the original Talk here: http://tmotherhood.wpengine.com/talk/show/id/62174

What’s Next? Judith Warner on Shifting Gears When Our Kids Don’t Need Us as Much

March 3, 2011 by The Motherhood

We were honored to welcome back to TheMotherhood Judith Warner, the New York Times columnist and author of Perfect Madness and We’ve Got Issues, to talk with her about a book idea she is working on. The topic was what we as women think about that time ahead when our kids don’t need us as much and when we begin to re-take ownership of our lives … and then what?

TheMotherhood members were very passionate on the topic, and Judith got the conversation going by posing some thoughtful questions. Read some of the comments below, but to summarize, here were the key conclusions:

· As your kids get older, the physical demands on mothers become less, but the psychological ones may actually rise.

· Moms feel conflicted about going back to work – or even other commitments because of that feeling that they want to be around to support their kids.

· Some of these problems are societal: there are too few supports for working moms and too few flexible options.

· Finding your way through this question may require adjusting your expectations.

Read on to see in what directions this exciting conversation wandered—and see if you agree with Warner and our other mom bloggers who brought such interesting viewpoints to the table:

INTERNAL OR EXTERNAL—WHAT NEEDS TO CHANGE?

Judith Warner: I am struck by how many women enter periods of painful self-questioning right at the point when they reach midlife and face the crossroads of what to do – how to live, how to be – in the second halves of their lives. The easing-up of the most physically intensive years of motherhood brings more time and energy for self – and that can be, to put it mildly, a mixed blessing.

I am eager to hear of how others experience this life “passage.” Do you sail through it smoothly, or is it rocky and uncertain? How do you get to the other side? What fuels/sustains/guides you along the way? Do you find yourself questioning/wanting to change the circumstances of your life – or do you – as I tend to do – focus instead on changing yourself? And what role does external reality play in all this: the economy, the scope of your possible life choices, your relationships, your support systems, your health and financial resources? We tend to avoid those externals as topics of conversation, but I tend to think they play a very major role in how we conceive of, and navigate, this phase of our lives.

Domesticnotdead: I’m actually right there, Judith. My son went off to kindergarten this year, and while I knew it was coming, and thought I was absolutely ready, it hit me like a ton of bricks. I felt like I had lost my job. So, I decided I wasn’t alone. Obviously everyone’s kids go off to school, and they figure out what to do with their lives. I did a little poking around, and realized that women were excited to use the brains they still had intact after cleaning up poop and spit up. I started a blog around this entire subject, praising and featuring women who have chosen to chase the dreams and kids all the while keeping their post-modern housewife status.

For sure, mothering never stops, and I think that’s why our generation has determined it’s the most important “job” to have. I think it’s why so many in our generation are leaving work to stay home. And those who may not be able to afford to quit or may not want to quit altogether, are being able to continue that work from home. It’s an exciting time.

Deborah: I suppose the question on what I’m going to do next does make me question myself. My boys need me in different ways and now my parents do too. I think reminding myself of my “lifework” instead of the more popular “worklife” helps.

Judith Warner: “Lifework” is great. Especially because it can mean something slightly different — yet equally vital — for each of us.

Emily: I think it’s so interesting to look at the distinction between changing one’s circumstances and changing oneself. I think I look to doing both. One side of me wants to learn to be more zen and yoga-ified, and the other wants to move to a farm and try growing heirloom tomatoes in quantity

THE TRICK TO FINDING SOMETHING FLEXIBLE

Kristin: How do smart, capable women, experienced in the business world, figure out a way to get back into the workforce in a flexible way so that they can be around for their pre-teens/teenager? This is such a frustration for me and so many other women. The business world doesn’t seem to offer any flexible situations (except for the rare job-sharing or telecommuting arrangement).

Judith: See — I think this lack of flexibility, lack of social supports for parenthood, is always the backdrop against which we have these sorts of conversations. We have very circumscribed choices.

Julie Pippert: So true — when is that flexibility going to be more prevalent? Especially since studies keep showing how it works better and leads to more productivity!!

Kristin: So many of us share this frustration and feel that our “work” options are limited to volunteering, PTA, etc. Are there any companies/organizations that have done a good job harnessing the power of these smart, capable women, many of whom are available from 9-3 every day – but don’t want to commute or become road warriors?

OPPORTUNITY LIES IN TECHNOLOGY…BUT WE’RE STILL CONFUSED

Domesticnotdead: I think what I’ve learned from my self-diagnosed elementary school empty-nest syndrome is that this is the greatest time in history to follow your dreams. Technology has made so many avenues readily available. It’s a matter of convincing yourself that your creativity matters and can make a difference. It’s amazing what actually taking that step will do.

Little Jacket: Judith–when I hear you wondering if you were building a good life, with your accomplishments, it makes me think that there is a condition at work here that prevents us from realizing that we are who we are now…? I produce Gretchen Rubin’s videos, who you mentioned in your recent article–she has this saying Be Gretchen. meaning be actually who you are. Thoughts?

Judith: … the ability to “Be Gretchen” or “Be Judy” or whatever means that you have to really be able to identify who you are and like who you are. That’s not a given for a lot of people, either part of the equation.

Wildgeese: I find that it is easy to lose who I am because motherhood has drained my confidence. I care so much about raising happy, healthy good citizens of the world that I lose myself. I find the work feedback loop so much more confidence building and so much easier to Be Me.

WE NEED TO “CREATE A KINGDOM INSIDE OURSELVES”

Judith Warner: This is a quote from F. Scott Fitzgerald’s “The Crack-Up” which, of course, has nothing to do with motherhood, …it fitted so perfectly how I was feeling after the years of trying to do absolutely everything. I wonder if others will relate as well:
“I began to realize that for two years of my life I had been drawing on resources that I did not possess, that I had been mortgaging myself physically and spiritually up to the hilt.”

Tracy Mayor: I do feel all of this searching has something to do with our larger society — people are really not feeling fulfilled by our culture, work, economy, shared values. It’s like we’re each trying to create a little kingdom inside of ourselves because the world around us isn’t doing it. I kind of dream of a time — which probably never existed — where a majority of people all felt at least somewhat on the same page. But of course there was a huge price to pay for that homogeneity (paging Betty Draper).

Judith Warner: That is so true!!

A FULL-TIME JOB CHANGES EVERYTHING–ALMOST

Judith: Is anyone in a traditional, full-time job? I would be eager to hear her perspective, because, in my experience so far, women in that position experience this transition a bit differently (much less dramatically, in fact).

Magpie: Me! Traditional FT job. (Well, maybe not that traditional, it’s an arts non-profit.) My husband is the stay-at-home parent, because he’s on LT disabililty. I feel like I’m missing lots of bits of my daughter’s growing up, because he’s the one putting her on the bus, and taking her to activities, and hosting playdates.

Judith: I guess I was thinking of this: I tend to experience these issues much as you all do. But, last summer, I got together with a group of women in Washington, DC who really felt differently about things. They just didn’t ask themselves these kinds of questions. It was like: they knew where they were from and they knew where they were going, and they didn’t let themselves be sidetracked by these kinds of concerns. And I felt sort of silly. I’d assumed the kind of angst I was experiencing was very widespread (which obviously it is). But what accounts for that kind of difference? How you grew up? What your expectations were of life on your way up?

Some were women who’d grown up in very modest backgrounds, who’d been very clear, always, on where they wanted to go in life and what it would take to get there and were very aware of how good they had it now and that life could be very different. One was a woman whose mother had really felt she’d sacrificed her own life to her family (and husband in particular before getting divorced) and I think she’d always had an agreement with herself that she wouldn’t end up in that position. I think that everyone’s individual life story plays a big role here.

Little Jacket: Yes, and I suppose that the angst of all of this is a luxury that people with certain economic conditions can only experience?

DO KIDS EVER STOP NEEDING YOU?

Gray Matter Matters: The premise of the chat is based on “our kids not needing us as much.” At what point do you believe that happens. Here’s why I ask. It’s easy to believe your little children need you. They need you for day to day survival. But I would say that my son needs me more than ever (even if he doesn’t like to admit it) because he’s entering the years where he has more “internal” needs. Anyone know what I’m saying? Until they’re out of the house I don’t think they need us less.

Judith Warner: Yes, I agree the need is different as they get older. Less physically taxing — you’re not picking them up all the time — but more psychologically so. And I’ve also had the experience, as my kids get older, of feeling like I’m out of my league — when they encounter social challenges, for example, that I STILL don’t know how to handle. I am struck more and more, though, by how much daughters at my older daughter’s age (13 going on 14) seem to depend upon their mothers for a sense of how to be in the world (whether they recognize that or not.)

Deborah: As our kids grow….so do we. I am not the mom I was 16 years ago. We’ve all grown from what we needed/provided then to what we need/provide now.

Tracy Mayor: It’s the “position” analogy — first you lead, then you parent side-by-side with your child, then you drop back and parent from the rear. My high schooler, he’s already out in front of us, but he still needs a lot of encouragement and guidance from behind. My middle schooler, we’re side-by-side right now. It’s a great time, frankly. Tricky but enjoyable.

Kristin: I so agree. And I am frightened by the idea of not being around for the angst of teenagedom (not to mention the trouble they could get it) while also loving the idea of going back to work.

Wildgeese: I love this quote from Jean Luc Goddard and I think it applies to dealing with teenagers who I agree, still really need us. “…all the dragons in our lives are perhaps princesses expecting us to be handsome and brave. All the terrifying things are perhaps nothing but helpless things waiting for us to help them.”

Co-hosting the Talk were these fabulous bloggers:

Betsy Cadel, Gray Matter Matters and Cool Mom Tech
Tracey Clark, Founder, ShutterSisters
Maria Giacchino, My Little Jacket
Isabel Kallman, AlphaMom
Julie Pippert, Using My Words
Liz Thompson, This Full House

Expanding Your Family’s Palate by Placating Picky Eaters

March 2, 2011 by The Motherhood

Women filed into TheMotherhood for virtual cooking class on March 2, 2011, to share tips and tricks for “Expanding Your Family’s Palate by Placating Picky Eaters,” the latest installment in the Cooking Connections series, held in partnership with ConAgra Foods.

The class was led by Jennifer Leal (Savor the Thyme), Kimberly Coleman (Mom in the City) and Kelsey Banfield (The Naptime Chef), and focused on methods for getting picky eaters out of their food ruts – along with offering up plain old encouragement for worried moms.

http://youtu.be/86yr5nSg1-M

As co-host Brooke McLay, Cheeky Kitchen, put it, “When all is said and done, the fact of the matter is some kids just need time … A combination of clever ideas, never giving up, and lots of patience always tends to win out in my book. Good luck!”

Picky Eating is Normal – Don’t Stress!

“From my experience as a dietitian, if a child is going to become picky, it will probably kick in around age two. Picky eating is normal,” said participant Liz Weiss. “Best to downplay it and keep offering a healthy variety of foods over and over again. Presentation is key. Eye and texture appeal can make a big and positive difference.”

Stacie Billis at One Hungry Mama had an interesting series of points about picky eating:

– There’s an evolutionary explanation for some picky phases. (some phases come at times of increased mobility, when baby might be exploring places without mama or papa immediately nearby to protect them. Pickiness, natural skepticism of new foods, prevented the cave baby from putting just about anything – like a poisonous berry – in baby’s mouth)

– Some kids have limited palates because of the way they are fed for the first few years of life (kids who are raised on bland and overly sweet processed cereals and packaged baby food can’t be expected to suddenly have a taste for fresh broccoli and cauliflower!)

– Sometimes it’s a developmentally appropriate power struggle (food is one of the few things over which baby can exert control and it’s important that they experiment with this)

“These are not things that can be turned around quickly,” she said. “Rather, it’s a slow process with the goal of helping kids develop healthy eating habits that will sustain them a lifetime.”

Just Try It

Many participants use the “one-bite rule” to get their kids to try a food before simply refusing it.

“Our rule is you just need to take a full size bite, chew, swallow and then say, ‘Yes, please’ or ‘No, thank you,’” said host Jennifer Leal, Savor the Thyme.

Co-host Cookin’ Canuck agreed, but said, “We actually have the 3-bite rule. I think kids are likely to refuse the food on the first bite if it’s something new. If they take a few extra bites, they often end up liking it.”

And Keep Trying It

“Always introduce food several times in several forms,” said host Kelsey Banfield, The Naptime Chef. “Kids will pick up on it eventually.”

“It can take upwards of 6-10 tries for a child to accept a new food – so it’s super important to the course by repeatedly serving healthy foods (openly!) and modeling eating them, too,” added Stacie Billis. “Even when they say they don’t like them!”

Liz Weiss added, “And sometimes it’s the texture that makes all the difference. As tastebuds change and mature, so may tolerance to certain textures.”

Interesting Food Everyone will Love

Host Kimberly Coleman, Mom in the City, asked participants to share some of the healthy, interesting foods their picky eaters enjoyed.

“My kids are big fans of eggs,” said co-host Cookin’ Canuck. “We make a lot of frittatas for dinner (quick and easy). We’re able to include a variety of proteins and veggies into them.”

And for those with kids who won’t touch fruit, “My 12 year old son wouldn’t eat fruit until he discovered smoothies,” said co-host Amy Johnson, She Wears Many Hats. “He now enjoys preparing one or more daily! Even combining several kinds of fruit!”

“My kids always respond to the fun shaped fruits and veggies,” added Brooke McLay. “Last week, we tried starfruit, kiwi, and berry skewers. Keep introducing new colors and flavors of fresh fruits and veggies and you never know what might stick!”

For kids who are hesitant about fruit, try this great peanut butter apple wrap recipe from ConAgra’s recipe website Ready Set Eat: http://www.readyseteat.com/recipes-Peanut-ButterApple-Wraps-5279.html

You can also try “playing” with your food to encourage kids to try new things. Participant Stephanie said her son loves “sugar snap peas – since we made it a game of the peas peeking out of the pod, he now calls them peek-a-boo peas!”

“I got my son to eat his first sandwich by cutting it into a letter shape because he loves the alphabet,” commented Shari Simpson-Cabelin, who writes at Earth Mom just means I’m dusty.

Kim also shared a link from CBS about great lunch ideas for kids: http://newyork.cbslocal.com/guide/best-school-lunch-ideas-for-kids/

Making Meals Work for Everyone

“One of the things I love to do is make one meal work for everyone,” said Kelsey Banfield. “I usually take one or two elements of a meal and adjust them for the adults and children. For example, we all love pesto (daughter included). So for her I do cheese tortellini with pesto and for us I do salmon with pesto. I hope someday she’ll be curious about the salmon part since it includes one of her favorite condiments … Starting off with a common ingredient and branching out from there is a great way to introduce new food.”

Brooke McLay added, “My pediatrician is fond of saying that no well-loved kid has ever starved themselves to death. At some point, they get hungry enough to taste the food that is available. So, in our house, it’s one meal for everyone. And if they don’t like it, they can brush their teeth, go to bed, and wait until breakfast.”

You can also ask your kids to help you prepare the meal to encourage them to eat the same thing you’re eating.

“Sometimes I’ll cook with both of my girls and I’ll intentionally choose something that is new,” said Kristy Bernardo, The Wicked Noodle. “They’ve never turned down something they’ve made themselves – they’re too proud of it!”

Educating the Littlest Consumer

Kelsey noted that taking your kids to the farmer’s market or grocery store when you stock up for meals “can be a great way to get kids curious about food and maybe give them a choice of healthy snacks.”

Co-host Shaina Olmanson, Food for My Family, added, “My husband and I do our grocery shopping and our cooking with all four of our children … We have seen how important this is to getting them to eat healthy and develop a good relationship with food.”

“I love showing my kids where food comes from – we visit farms and farm markets all the time,” said co-host Jo-Lynne Shane, Musings of a Housewife.

Co-host Jen Rabulan-Bertram, Next Kid Thing, suggested “going strawberry, apple and pumpkin picking–or whatever is in season,” which can be “fun and educational, too.”

You can take that a step further and start your own backyard garden with your kids – “My daughter loved realizing that the tomatoes we grew made tomato sauce!” Kelsey noted. And kids who grow their own veggies “can’t wait to wash them and bite right in,” said Jennifer Leal.

“Sneaking” Foods into Meals?

Opinions varied widely on whether moms should sneak healthy foods into other foods their kids like to help them vary their diets.

“I don’t see anything WRONG with it, but I don’t go out of my way to be ‘sneaky’ either,” said Jo-Lynne Shane. “I just keep a variety of nourishing food around. They eat what they like and leave the rest. I don’t stress over it.”

“I think sneaking is okay as long as it doesn’t replace trying to teach children how to eat healthy,” said Kristy. “The goal is to get them to develop lifelong healthy habits, not just get the foods down their throats.”

“My Mom would say it was chicken when it was really tofu,” added Charlene. “Later she would tell us. I guess because she knew us and that for us it was mental. So like most said, it depends on who and how picky your child is.”

“I sometimes ‘hide the truth’ about what’s in a meal, said Kelsey. “Don’t delve into it too much. I think keeping things low-key is ok. I don’t lie, but I keep it low-key.”

Similarly, Cookin’ Canuck and her husband “don’t actually lie about what is in a dish, but we do have certain names for a couple of foods. For example, for awhile we called couscous ‘mini rice’ because both of my boys liked rice, but were hesitant about the couscous.”

“I think that exposing kids to the real, actual foods is most important without a doubt,” concluded Kimberly Coleman. “However, every kid is different and I think that moms should do what they need to do in order for their kids to get their (real, not imagined) nutrient needs met.”

No Snacking

Co-host Dara Michalski, Cookin’ Canuck, had additional advice for parents of picky eaters based on experience. “I have worked with many children who have significant eating issues, and one of the most basic and helpful changes the parents make is to insist on a regular meal and snack schedule so that kids are not grazing on food throughout the day (and are then not that hungry at mealtime),” she said. “Also, requiring that the child sits at the table to eat, rather than taking a couple of bites between playing, can make a big difference.”

Stacie Billis agreed, noting that the policy in her home is “no snacks at all after 3:30 pm. Being hungry at dinner time is key to helping dinner go as smoothly as possible.”

And if they won’t eat dinner anyway? “If my son won’t eat his dinner, I save it for him,” said Shari Simpson-Cabelin. “If he says, ‘I’m hungry’ at bedtime, he gets… the same dinner. It’s helped quite a bit.”

Rewards for Trying New Foods or Flavors

Participant Janice Bissex said, “We have a recipe reviewer chart on MealMakeoverMoms.com. It helps to get kids excited about trying new foods when they are the official reviewer. After trying a certain number of new foods, the child get a prize – we encourage rewards to be fitness or education related: http://mealmakeovermoms.com/mealtime-tools/recipe-reviewer-chart/

Jennifer Leal also had a few healthy but delicious suggestions for food rewards:

http://www.savoringthethyme.com/2009/02/cleaned-up-sweet-potato-zucchini-muffins/

http://www.savoringthethyme.com/2010/04/strawberry-mice-getting-kids-to-eat-fruit-at-a-birthday-party/

“Sometimes I buy the healthier versions of regular food like Whole Wheat Spaghetti instead of regular,” said Kelsey Banfield. “I do reward my daughter, but usually with the promise of an extra book for bed time!”

Great Links

They look like burgers, but they’re … Tuna Sliders: http://www.readyseteat.com/recipes-Tuna-Sliders-5236.html

Work some fruit into an old favorite … Grilled Cheese and Pear Sandwiches: http://www.readyseteat.com/recipes-Grilled-Cheese-and-Pear-Sandwiches-4727.html

To expand the horizons of those kids who will ONLY eat mac and cheese … try South of the Border Mac and Cheese: http://www.readyseteat.com/recipes-SouthoftheBorder-Mac-and-Cheese-2214.html

Exploring food with your kids: http://food.yourway.net/exploring-food-with-your-kids/

Supermarket scavenger hunt: http://www.superkidsnutrition.com/sckids/nutrition-adventures/na_abby1.pdf

How to develop and teach your family healthy eating habits: http://newyork.cbslocal.com/guide/how-to-develop-and-teach-your-family-healthy-eating-habits/

Thanks so much to the amazing hosts!

Kelsey Banfield, The Naptime Chef

Kimberly Coleman, Mom in the City

Jennifer Leal, Savor the Thyme

And their insightful, wonderful co-hosts!